Lilies Say Sorry

July 12th

The days had grown warmer, and thus Loki could not continue to wear his suave, all-black suit without the risk of growing uncomfortably sweaty beneath the cashmere material; even in his Asgardian skin, he had always found warm rays of unceasing sunshine to be bothersome - he was immune to the cold, but the heat made him feel intolerably sticky in all the wrong places.

Not only that, but his typical black-suit disguise had become… unfortunately identifiable to the Midgardian populace - it was more than a little off-putting to suddenly have a finger pointed in his face with a resonating screech of 'Oh my God, you're Loki!' echoing throughout the entire area of whatever street he had chosen to walk down that day, and of course, the subsequent commotion of people that would ensue.

Not everybody had quite warmed up to him just yet, despite joining the Avengers on several missions since his initial cover was blown, but there were an annoying few who would always flock around him, fearless or stupid, to ask for an autograph - what was with this Midgardian custom of desiring a scribble of his name on a piece of paper, object or body part? - and he would sneer at them, snap until they drew back in alarm.

"You've got to stop doing that", Tony Stark had told him, exasperation in his voice, "We're trying to convince people to give you a chance, Skrillex, so quit making things difficult."

Choosing not to acknowledge the crude nickname, Loki had merely riposted that he did not intend to act all sunshine and daisies for the sake of keeping the humans happy; if they were to accept him, it would be for who he naturally was - snark and all. He was already doing them a favour in assisting their favourite superheroes with mediocre assignments, and he wasn't going to perform the part of a righteous, upstanding idol alongside his noble, heroic deeds.

They would take him as he was, or not at all. Simple.

So there he was, leant against the brickwork outside of Amelia's florist, awaiting the end of her shift while in a brand new, foolproof disguise. It hadn't been too difficult to devise a new attire in which to conceal his presence in plain sight - he had searched up the current mortal fashion trends for Summer wear on his phone and picked out a mix of clothes that were suitable enough for his liking. Easy.

Loki waited several minutes before he finally spotted Amelia exiting the flower shop, weaving between the colourful displays, dressed in rather attractive floral-patterned sundress that reached just below her knees; he sighed at the vision she made - she looked more and more beautiful every time he saw her - and stepped away from the wall to greet her before she could unsuspectingly pass by him.

"Amelia", he addressed as he stepped in front of her, and she looked up with curiosity, seemingly unable to recognise him for a few seconds before a wide, amused smile lit up her face.

"Loki?" She enquired softly, "What are you wearing?"

Loki's brow furrowed as he glanced down at his outfit - cropped, white trousers, black sneakers, a dark green linen shirt, with sunglasses and a black cap to keep the harsh rays from his eyes - he didn't see anything wrong with his chosen ensemble.

"Have you-" Amelia blinked, sidestepping him to glance around his head, "-tied your hair up in a bun?"

"Yes, what's your point?" Loki asked, his voice full of indignation at the incredulous tone coming from her mouth.

Amelia brushed a hand through her askew locks, an almost fond smile on her face, "It looks… nice", she remarked innocently, looking him up and down, supposedly trying to subtly admire his temporary look, but there was nothing subtle about the way her eyes lingered on the skin of his unconcealed ankles and forearms, "-not sure about the hat, though."

Loki snorted, adjusting the baseball cap irritatedly, "Neither am I." While the hat helped, alongside the sunglasses, to keep the harsh sunlight from burning into his retinas from above, it certainly didn't feel like the type of hallmark look he wanted to employ - but for the sake of passing himself off as a human, it would have to do for the moment.

"So…" Amelia began, subconsciously playing with the material of her dress down by her thigh, "to what do I owe this pleasure?" She was referring, of course, to his unforeseen presence outside of her workplace - usually he would let her know ahead of time if he planned to turn up and walk her home.

With a slightly coy smirk, Loki took his place beside her, offering his arm, which Amelia rested her hand upon, and motioned for them to continue walking, "I have something I want to show you", he cryptically disclosed, and the woman raised an eyebrow at the sight of his coquettish expression.

"Okay, and what would that be?"

There was a hint of suspicion in Amelia's slightly squinting eyes, but instead of pressing for an explanation, she gave a slight shrug of her shoulders and blindly allowed him to lead her wherever; something about the way she placed her unequivocal trust in him left a pleasant tingle in his chest.

"You look wonderful, by the way", Loki spoke smoothly after a few steps, and caught the way Amelia's lip curled into a bashful smile.

"Thank you", she said with gratitude in her voice, "I, ah, thought I'd treat myself to a new dress. Saw this in a shop window yesterday and knew I had to have it." It was white and flowy, decorated with summery colours - yellows, reds and oranges - all in the form of pretty blossoms, and it fit around her body so perfectly.

"It suits you well."

Loki enjoyed the way Amelia's cheeks grew pink at the compliment and the diffident way she bit her bottom lip to hide her shy beam; he would give her a million more flattering comments if it meant that look would never leave her face.

"What are we doing at Avengers Tower?"

"I told you, I have something to show you."

"Yeah, but what do you have to show me?"

"Patience, Amelia."

Amelia pouted, pinning Loki with an overly vigilant gaze, trying to glean the reason behind the man dragging her all the way to the superhero headquarters after her long day of working; Loki smirked as he saw her attentive stare in his peripheral vision, knowing full well that her dubious leer would not last. Once Amelia saw what he had in store for her, the only expression to grace her face would be that of unbridled happiness, he hoped.

As they entered the foyer of the grand building, Loki allowed his human masquerade to dissolve, superseded by a slightly more formal look of dark trousers and a plain shirt, the cap and sunglasses now absent from his head, with his hair having fallen back down, a few lightly-curled tresses tickling around his neck.

"Shame", Amelia teased, "I totally dig the man-bun look."

"The what?"

"Man-bun. That's what it's called."

"Humans are ridiculous."

Amelia giggled as they approached the elevator, brushing a hand through her messy hair, and her laughter brought a pleasant, fuzzy feeling to his chest; Loki stole a glance at her while her attention wandered, taking the opportunity to absorb her fetching appearance without the darkened lens of the sunglasses he'd been wearing dimming his view.

There was something about seeing her bathed in the light of the sun, with her legs and shoulders and arms on display, that brought him pleasure and delight; for most of the time he'd known her, she'd always bundled up from the cold weather or stayed in her drab apartment, away from fresh air and sunbeams, and with it, an instilled sense of woe had been present - as if, despite her often vivid and vibrant wardrobe, she was living in a world of grayscale with the sombreness of her hardships hanging heavy above her head.

But now, things seemed lighter. A deep weighted pain had been lifted and Amelia had grown bolder, less reticent, and happier. Loki could see that it truly showed, and for that he was entirely grateful. She still had bad days, of course, because depression and grief was not amended overnight, but Loki saw something bright in her future, and he hoped at the very least that he could be a part of it.

He'd spent too long in the dark. He craved the warm glow that Amelia appeared to radiate.

Loki realised his thoughts had taken him away from reality when Amelia's lips moved and he didn't quite catch what she had said; at some point they'd stepped into the elevator and he'd automatically pushed the button without really acknowledging it.

"Hm?" he blinked with a vacant stare, prompting Amelia to repeat what she had just told him.

"I said-" she began, eyebrow cocked at his oddly absent demeanour, "You should get your hair all done up like Daenerys Targaryen, all majestic with braids and whatnot."

Loki blinked, picturing the image in his mind with amusement, he'd never been too obsessed with making his hair look resplendent in plaits and interweaves as much as he preferred it to simply be presentable - that was more Thor's area of expertise, anyway, which explained the reason the oaf had acted so dramatic and mournful when the Grandmaster had ordered his precious, blond locks to be shorn - which was why he, more often than not, straightened it, neat and unembellished.

Incidentally, Amelia misinterpreted his thoughtful expression as one of uncertainty.

"Daenerys Targaryen is a character from a book series-"

"I know who Daenerys Targaryen is", Loki interjected with a smirk, for he had long since caught up with the most recent novel in the selection and grown frustrated when he discovered that the series had not yet been finished, "I was merely trying to picture myself donning such an… artistic hairstyle."

Amelia seemed pleased that Loki had taken the initiative to read some Midgardian fiction of his own accord, "You'd look good with intricate plaits, I think." Loki would be lying if he said he didn't feel a touch of delight at Amelia's praising words, spoken with such a saccharine and honest tone that charmed him to the core.

He couldn't help but stare at her again, taking in every detail of her face with yearning in his soul; everything about her, from the array of freckles peppering her cheeks to the little dimples either side of her mouth - and oh, her mouth - he wanted so keenly to capture her lips and steal a kiss, but they had mutually agreed to take things slow, and Loki didn't want to scare her off by taking any firm steps in their relationship too quickly. He had resolved in his mind that he would let Amelia come to him and initiate any sort of intimacy, that way it would be obvious that she was ready to take said steps.

But it had been almost four months, and it was getting to be so difficult.

The elevator reached one of the upper floors and they stepped out into the corridor, Amelia still trailing curiously after Loki with no idea what to expect, but she knew the layout of the building well enough to know that they had passed community level of the headquarters where the Avengers would hang out when they weren't busy going on missions or working in the lab or sparring in the training room.

"Where are you taking me?"

"How many times will you ask the same question?"

"However many times it'll take until I receive an answer", Amelia retorted playfully, batting her eyelashes in a matter-of-fact manner.

"You'll receive an answer when I show you the surprise", said Loki, before he narrowed his eyes slightly, "Your capacity to accept and tolerate suspense is somewhat nonexistent, isn't it?"

Amelia smirked, "You're just getting that now?" Loki exhaled a puff of amusement as he lead the impatient woman onward and she hummed at his continued refusal to explain what all of this was about. Inhaling comically, Amelia spoke, "I smell mischief in the air."

Loki chuckled, biting his tongue between his teeth, "Only the good kind of mischief, darling, I assure you."

They rounded a corner, climbed a few steps and came to a short hallway with just one door at the end; Amelia tilted her head as she observed the sign above the door that read 'no unauthorised personnel beyond this point.'

"Are we allowed to go through this door?" Amelia enquired, pointing up to the red warning sign as they came to a stop before it.

"Stark doesn't need this area anymore. He granted me permission to use it", Loki affirmed, and it was the truth - because he needed an open space for this project he had been working on and he did not want the billionaire to intercede and ruin his plans, thus he received consent from the CEO himself and warned promptly warned Stark not to trespass on what Loki now deemed as his sector of Avengers Tower.

"Okay", Amelia licked her lips in anticipation, a bright grin on her face, "Show me this big, secretive surprise!"

Loki smirked, typing the passcode into the keypad, which then beeped, signalling the door was unlocked, then he paused and turned back to the woman, an honest and open look on his face that elicited the furrow in Amelia's eyebrows.

"I just want to… preface this by saying that this isn't a desperate attempt to win you back or anything like that…" Loki felt, rather annoyingly, that his cheeks grew warm as Amelia blinked her questioning eyes at him, "I'm not doing this purely with the belief that it will earn me your veritable forgiveness - I just wanted to do something for you… to make you happy."

A look of stunned appreciation crossed Amelia's face in the form of an open-mouthed smile, and she nodded wordlessly, encouraging Loki to continue.

"Also…" Loki said, "You need to close your eyes."

Amelia squinted with a touch of suspicion in her honey-brown eyes, but closed them as she was asked.

"Cover your eyes completely, I don't want you to peek."

She did so, bringing her hands up over her glasses to obstruct her view should she feel the roguish desire to take a secretive peep before she was supposed to, and smiled with excitement at what Loki had planned.

"Do not look until I say so, okay?" Loki warned, placing a hand on her upper arm by way of guiding her.

"Alright, I won't look, I promise", Amelia giggled, and Loki lead her through the door. She tensed slightly as the cool breeze of open air crept along her skin and faltered in her step.

"Are we on the roof?"

"No, we're on a disused helicopter pad, three-quarters of the way up the building", Loki answered, ignoring Amelia's secondary utterance of 'why?' in favour of persuading her to keep moving with an insistent prod against her back. Amelia walked on, having faith that Loki would not let her trip up, and she was navigated around various obstacles she could not see, until Loki instructed her to stop.

"Amelia", Loki spoke, "You can open your eyes now."

Amelia's hands fell away from her face, eyes opening wide to take in the sight before her; her lips fell open in dumbfounded disbelief and she covered her mouth in astonishment, gaze darting back and forth over the scene.

The area that had once been a circular landing pad had been repurposed into a cosy little terrace; all the colours of the rainbow filled her vision as she took in the presence of hundreds of flowers sprouting from pots, decorative vases and specially crafted flower beds - there were even several wooden lattices dedicated to housing climbing flowers, the blooms of which germinated from stringy vines, all in an assembly of beautiful, bright hues.

Everything was artistically organised; the arrangement was very becoming of a homely, well-tended garden, and it took Amelia's breath away. Amongst the sea of flowers was a wicker bench, adorned with brightly coloured cushions, making for a very pleasing perch that offered a view of not only the botanical ambience, but the flawless Manhattan skyline.

Encircling the bench was a bed of flowers, bordered by birch wood, and from the fertile soil grew a mix of dark red carnations and white clematis - a collection of blooms that grew in the shape of stars and gave off a distinct vanilla-like scent - and Amelia swallowed, looking back to Loki with dazed look.

"Loki, this is- this is beautiful", she stuttered, her mouth still hanging agape from the enchanting spectacle before her.

"It's for you, Amelia", Loki told her, a small smile gracing his lips, "Happy birthday."

Amelia's eyes grew wide, her lip quivering, "You- how did you know it was my birthday? I never told you that", she squeaked, still in awe that she had received such an exquisite and thoughtful gift.

"I have my sources", Loki responded, an all-knowing look on his face - in all truthfulness, he had gotten that little snippet of information from Stark. The man had access to a large database of information, Amelia's date of birth included.

Her eyes flew back to the gracious, flower-embellished garden, her legs moving of their own accord towards the dainty wicker bench.

"Your favourite", Loki gestured to the more centered bed of flowers as he trailed after her, "-dark red carnations, and my favourite", he indicated the starbursts of white clematis, his lip curling almost rakishly as his smile deepened.

"I thought you didn't have a favourite", Amelia murmured, eyes glossy as the sweet, floral aroma filled her nose, and she bit her lip, trying to damper down the simmer of sentiment that was slowly taking hold of her body.

"Well", Loki replied, "I do now."

Amelia practically tackled him in a hug, flinging her arms around him, pressing her face to his shoulder as she fought the hot, wet tears that threatened to spill. Loki's arms enclosed around her, holding the woman just as firmly, and breathed in the scent that rose from her scalp - the very same scent that exuded from the blooms he had planted alongside the carnations.

"Loki", Amelia weeped, "I don't know what to say!"

Loki's hold tightened on the woman, "You needn't say anything", he told her, content to simply enjoy the feeling of being pressed against her once more; it had been too long since the last time they had shared this type of affection.

"Thank you", Amelia whispered, pulling marginally away to look the man in the eye, "Thank you."

Loki held her gaze, his stare intent and penetrating as he tried to convey all his thoughts and feelings to the woman without having to say them outloud; he was never good at expressing how he felt through words, never quite sure how to articulate his state of emotions - passion, devotion, yearning, lust, fondness, affection, love - but thankfully, as it turned out, he did not need to.

Amelia brushed away the wetness on her cheeks, her eyes filling with endearment and desire, and with two words, she sent Loki's heart aflutter, "Kiss me."

Loki breathed deeply, a subtle glee erupting in his chest at the command, and obliged, dipping his head down to press a smile to her lips; Amelia's eyes slid shut as their mouths met and rolled against each other. It was soft and gentle, reminding him of the first time they partook in such an affectionate action, and he exhaled through his nose, his soul rife with enjoyment.

To finally kiss her, not as James, but as Loki, felt incredible - it was like their first kiss all over again.

By the Gods, Loki had missed this - after all this time of longing for the chance to taste her lips again, he finally had what he wanted, and there was a well defined tang of strawberry sweetness, likely from the flavour of her lip balm, that he had not forgotten.

When they divided, Amelia impishly nibbled on her lower lip, "You call that a kiss?"

Loki had barely a moment to react before Amelia's hands cupped his cheeks and brought their faces together once more, this time sharing a kiss so passionate and blazing that it left them both breathless; she swallowed his amused laughter and rippled her tongue against his own. He caressed his fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp and bringing her closer all at once till he could both hear and feel the vibrations of the moans in the back of her throat.

Nothing could compare to the proprietorial pleasure of having Amelia back in his arms again, besotted by the tingling sensations of their mouths moving together, interconnecting in a way that felt so right - just as it should be.

They parted when the requirement for breath became too immense, and sunk against each other, content to be close, lazing in each other's embrace; the sun had set low in the sky and the Summer air was growing steadily cooler, but warmth still engulfed them in their little bubble of intimacy.

Amelia breathed a sigh. "How do you feel about going on a date?"

"A date?"

"Yes, it's a thing two people do when they like each other."

"I know what a date is."

"Well, what do you think? Dinner and a movie?" Amelia suggested, a flicker of hope in her eyes that Loki would have to be a fool to say no to.

"Alright", Loki agreed, quickly warming to the idea, "What about tomorrow, at noon?" He didn't have an overwhelming urge to sit in a movie theatre for over two hours, but apparently it was a sort of Midgardian tradition to take the person you're courting out to see a film, and if it was what Amelia wanted, he would endure.

"Ah, mm", Amelia hummed, looking sheepish all of a sudden, and Loki frowned, eyeing the flush of her cheeks, "I'm ah- I'm free after one o'clock, if that's okay?"

Loki cocked his head, blinking a few times, a sudden wariness drawing a knit in his eyebrows at Amelia's abrupt display of bashfulness, "Why?"

Amelia disengaged her arms from around his torso and reservedly smoothed out the material of her sundress, "I, uh, I have a therapy appointment, that's all."

Loki's face softened and he nodded in acknowledgement, knowing Amelia had spoken about the possibility of seeing a therapist the last couple months; he yielded an irrational edge of rue at the thought, however, because he also knew that he was predominantly the reason that she needed to see a therapist in the first place.

"Hey", Amelia said, bringing her hand up to brush a strand of hair behind Loki's ear, "It's all good." She offered a subdued smile and Loki caught her wrist before it fell again, dipping his head to brush his lips against her knuckles in a chaste show of affection.

"One o'clock is fine", he assented, before relenting to the desire to press his lips to her forehead, and continue to show her just how much he cherished her, without the use of words.

Several weeks later…

Loki finished brushing his teeth, spitting the froth of the toothpaste into the sink before rinsing his mouth with water; he dried the moisture from his lips and stared hard at his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Tired eyes stared back at his pale face, and though others could not easily determine the weary exhaustion in his gaze, Loki could see with pristine clarity that the green hue of his irises were a little more dull than they once were.

The nightmares had yet to cease, but perhaps tonight would be different, because Amelia had finally acceded to his request, and chosen that very day to move into the Avengers Tower permanently; Loki hoped it would do him well to feel the presence of her body by his side, that perhaps Amelia's consistent warmth pressed against him would remind his unconscious mind that he was not alone, that Amelia was right there should he need her.

He inhaled and exhaled, and left the bathroom that joined with his bedroom - his and Amelia's bedroom now - to find Amelia lounging on one side of the bed, already tucked beneath the covers with a sleepy smile on her face.

"Your bed is so comfortable", she sighed pleasantly, sinking her head deep into the pillow.

"Our bed", Loki corrected with a smirk, "-and of course it is. I am a prince, after all, that warrants only the comfiest of mattresses."

Amelia blinked, "You're a prince?"

Loki tilted his head, pinning the woman with a vacuous stare as he sat on the edge of the bed beside her, "You really didn't know that?"

Amelia seemed to find the little tidbit of information to be rather amusing, evident from the way she quickly began to snicker, the corners of her eyes wrinkling as she grinned, "You never told me, your majesty!"

"Your highness", Loki corrected, "You would address my brother as 'your majesty', for he is the King of Asgard, not I."

Amelia paused at the stern look on Loki's face, "Do I actually have to do that?"

Loki rolled his eyes, a smile breaking out on his face, "No, of course not. He doesn't care how you address him."

"Oh, okay, good, because I don't want to be the one to offend royalty - especially when that royalty can summon lightning from his fingertips", Amelia bit her tongue to hide another grin and Loki snorted, shaking his head in a playfully wearisome gesture.

Amelia patted the comforter to her left, "Now get into bed, I want to snuggle", she ordered.

Loki's eyes darted to her hand on the bed, and back to her face. He shook his head, tapping the mattress below him, "No, this is my side."

"I like being this side, though", she countered with a pout, batting her eyelids the way she always did when she knew it would help her get her way.

But that wouldn't work this time.

"No", Loki reiterated, a touch of asperity to his voice, "this is my side." His eyebrows furrowed, mouth pulled into a frown, and Amelia's eyes seemed to twitch as she realised Loki was far from a jesting mood.

"Alright, alright. Jeez. Whatever you say, your highness", she teased, shuffling across the bed below the covers with an overly pronounced pout on her lips.

Loki said nothing in response to her mumbled quip, and quickly took his place beside her below the bed covers, but not before casting a grim glance to the bedside table down beside him - the one that secreted the phosphorescent Tesseract cube, and by extension, the space stone.

He would not allow Amelia to sleep even an inch closer to that accursed object than she had to, if he could help it; it was his secret - his burden to bear, and he would keep the woman he loved as far away from it as possible.

With that, Loki turned his attention to Amelia - delivering a sweet goodnight-kiss to her lips before spooning up against her back, burying his nose in her hair - and fell asleep to the soft scent of vanilla.

Important Notes: It is remarkable how quickly the ending of a story you're writing can creep up on you so quickly! Think of that last part as being comparable to the after-credits scene of a Marvel movie ;) While this is the end of Lilies Say Sorry, it is NOT THE END of Amelia and Loki! Be sure to add me to your author alert list to be notified when I post the beginning of the sequel - which is gonna be heavily tied to Infinity War, except I reverse all the horrible shit that happened in it and create a slightly different angsty setting WITH THE PROMISE that things will turn out fine :) I honestly cannot thank you all enough. Your reviews have kept me motivated throughout this entire story and without all of your input and kind words, I never would've finished it, so once again - thank you so much everyone, and I hope you join me for the sequel ;)