Hello everyone! This is my first attempt at writing a fanfiction ever! Actually my first attempt at writing for anything outside of school. I've read way too many fanfics, and finally one came to mind that I daydreamed about until I had it worked out[ish] enough to start on! I have quite a few chapters written and will update as often as possible, but beware. I have terrible spelling at times, and I don't know how to use this website confidently, so there will be some weird formatting choices for sure.

Chapter 1: Guilt

Sometimes at night she had to remind herself.

What he doesn't know can't hurt him. It didn't matter. It's all in the past, like everything in the future. She hated this. She'd spent countless nights trying to forget the images that would pop into her head at random, the memories that refused to fade. It seemed like the harder she tried to lose them the more stubbornly they remained. She hated them most at times like this, when all she desired was sleep, cradled in her husband's strong arms.

She shook her head, trying to clear away the thought-spiral that had successfully kept her awake for another long night. "Kagome?" She stilled at the soft hum of her name from her half-sleeping husband. His arm was curled around her and pulling her closer protectively, the same as he had done on so many nights before when he sensed her anxiety. "Whats wrong?" he asked, coming a little more conscious, blinking in the darkness.

"Nothing, Inuyasha. Just bad dream." She lied. She hated lying to him, but, she knew the truth would be more painful than any lie. He could never know, and he never would. The well was closed, along with the chapter of her life that tormented her.

He simply sighed, staring at her soft peaceful expression. She was a disturbingly convincing liar when she wanted to be. Of course her scent gave her away. Even she wasn't quite that good. It wasn't a dream, but it could have been a memory. Whatever it was, it came and went from time to time. At first it drove him insane that she felt the need to deflect his questions, but eventually, he simply let her be. If it was truly important, she'd tell him eventually. If not, the memories would soon fade and be gone forever. They'd already become far less frequent. It still pained him to smell guilt on her. He wished she would just give in and talk to him. It was unlike her to withhold her feelings, which made him worry that it was something he might not want to know. He was still confident that whatever it was wouldn't make him love her any less.

She'd returned to the past a different person than when she'd left. Still his Kagome, but she had done a lot of growing up in the three years they were separated. She was a bit calmer, more measured, less easily set off. Although she was still an absolute fireball most of the time, she argued just the slightest bit less over the small stuff. She almost never used the 'sit' commands, even when they fought, which was still often. She never let him leave her or go to bed angry, and always greeted him like he'd been gone a year when he left for a couple days to hunt a demon with Miroku. She had trouble sleeping.

He had been so elated with her return, he had almost missed it. The familiar scent brought back from the other side had masked it for a time, laced through her hair, her soft skin, mixing with her own. It was only once she had returned later that day from the spring with Songo that he realized what it was. The scent of her joining with someone else. He would know it anywhere. She smelled like that now, but it was his own scent mixing in with the cherry blossom of Kagome.

It was faint, but still enough to shatter his heart. Not that he let it show. He'd known from the day she came back to him that she'd sought comfort in the arms of someone else, but he couldn't blame her. He didn't blame her. If he'd found someone of interest, he may have done the same, if only to try and soothe the ache he felt for her body when she was gone. She didn't know she was going to come back, ever. There was simply no sense in making her feel any worse about it than she already did, torturing herself at night, the guilt rolling off her in waves.

It didn't matter to him. She was his. Body and soul. Whatever happened before or after... none of it mattered now. He nuzzled her neck lovingly, instantly washing away the bitter scent of guilt and regret, replacing it with the bright smell of happiness and the sound of her small hushed giggle. He sighed in relief at the change, placing a few kisses on her neck and shoulder.

"Goodnight, Kagome." He whispered into her hair.

"Goodnight, Inuyasha." She smiled softly to herself as she laid her arm across his chest, pulling herself deeper into his warmth. Without another thought, she fell asleep.