Here it is, the Epilogue. No point in dragging things out. Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Blah. Blah. Blah. Enjoy.

Flowers and Brimstone: Epilogue.

(Boar's Head Island, Pacific Ocean: June 23, 2046)

"And so, with our foe defeated and our captor gone, Kelly and I returned to Echo Creek with our heads held high." The blonde guru said, before her expression fell slightly. "Unfortunately, even though our ordeal was over, our troubles were just beginning. By the time Kelly convinced me to put on underwear, it was late in the afternoon, so once we were all set to go we portaled straight to our usual meeting place in the park to let everyone know that we were okay; a mistake I still regret to this day. For you see, when I emerged from that portal wearing nothing but a bra and panties and started rambling about how I'd learned the secrets of the universe from a talking tree, everyone assumed I'd gone insane. And when Kelly told them about the Morpheus Mushrooms, well… let's just say Janna didn't take it very well. She started yelling at Kelly, blaming her for my supposed condition. And things got even worse when I stepped in to defend her. Sigh. That's when the rift between us started to form."

"Oh my, that's horrible." Said Marisol, ever the sympathetic type. "And you two just threw away your friendship? All because of a silly misunderstanding?"

"Well, not all at once. It wasn't until our junior year that I declared my love for Kelly and Janna officially announced that we were no longer friends. But it was a slow and painful slide up until then. But I guess I can't really blame her for being upset. In her mind, Kelly had willfully given me mind-altering drugs that messed with my brain chemistry. So, in her own selfish way, she was just trying to help me. Just trying to get me back to the person I used to be."

"Well, she was kinda right." Said Artemis, ever the tactless type. "I mean, Kelly said it herself. Those mushrooms mess up your brain. And if I'm being honest, your younger self sounds way cooler than you are now. I mean, she was into skateboards and stuff, and you're all… culty and wei-AAAAH!"

Much like before, the young princess' insensitive comment was cut short by a quick smack to the back of the head; this time delivered by her twin sister.

"UGH! Jeez! I think I'm bruised." She whined as she felt the back of her aching scalp. "Since when are you this strong?"

Marisol said nothing but blew her twin a quick raspberry before turning her attention back on Jackie.

"Please forgive my sister, Aunt Jackie." She said in the politest voice she could muster. "She likes to skip out on her etiquette lessons to go brawling with street urchins."

"Why you spoiled, smug little-OWWW! Stop hitting me!"

"Oh, it's quite alright, my dear. I'm used to dealing with skeptics. And besides, she's not entirely wrong. The Morpheus Mushrooms were instrumental in my spiritual awakening. And, if I'm being honest, I never had a romantic interest in other girls until after I consumed them. So, perhaps they did change me in some ways."

The blonde guru paused for a moment to adjust her neck before continuing.

"That being said, I much prefer myself the way I am now. In my youth I always tried to play it cool, but when faced with real adversity my façade would crack and my spirit would crumble. But now I understand what it is to truly be at peace. And in that peace, I have found my one true calling; to help those who are lost and set them down the path of enlightenment. Honestly, I couldn't be happier."

"Maybe so, but you and Aunt Janna used to be best friends. Didn't you ever try to patch things up?"

"Of course, she did." Kelly cut in suddenly. "Jackie's tried at least a dozen times over the years to 'patch things up' with that… woman, but she just refuses to see reason."

"Kelly."

"Thinks she's so great. She's just a stubborn, selfish, homophobic old manatee. That's what she is."

"Kelly."

"Oh, and she has the nerve to tell Jackie that she's wasting her life on this island. Wasting her life. HA! Like's she's ever done anything."

"Kelly."

"Ooo~ Look at me~ My name's Janna and I think I'm so cool~ Even though I'm really just a big fat bitc…"

"Kelly!"

The blonde guru shouted; once again silencing her spouse.

"Dearest, this is the second time today you've forced me to raise my voice." She said, resuming her signature calm. "If it happens again, you will be sleeping alone for the next month. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Beloved." The bush-head replied meekly.

"Good. Now then, what were we talking about?"

"Lady, I don't even know anymore." Said Artemis with a mix of exasperation and annoyance.

"Well, I was saying that I think it's simply dreadful how you two could just throw away such a close friendship over something as trivial as… lifestyle choices."

"Perhaps you are right, young Marisol." Jackie replied with her signature Zen like air. "But alas, attracting forces come and go; such is the way of the universe. Perhaps one day we'll make up, perhaps not. And if we don't then that's just the way it's meant to be. Besides, I don't think either of us has any reason to complain. We're both leading the lives we've chosen and we both have much to be proud of. I have created a religion that has helped thousands of people turn their lives around. And she is a highly respected college professor who helps shape the minds of a new generation. Not to mention, she was the one who finally vanquished that villainous cur Toffee."

"Allegedly."

"Kelly."

"Sorry."

"Wait, Toffee?" said Artemis dumbfoundedly. "As in the Toffee? As in the immortal monster that killed our great grandmother? Aunt Janna killed that Toffee?"

"That is correct, young one."

"B-B-But how? When?"

"That, I'm afraid, is a story for another day." The blonde guru replied with a hint of playfulness in her voice. "And besides, it's totally irrelevant. You are here to learn the ways of Omnitology. Not revel in the tales of battles long past."

"But…"

"No buts. If you want to hear about Janna's exploits, you can ask her yourself when you see her later this summer. But until then, you must focus on the here and now. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Aunt Jackie." The rebel princess replied sullenly, as her face twisted into a childish pout.

Marisol was about to say something, most likely another smart remark at her sister's expense, when a random thought popped into her head. Suddenly she remembered something she'd been wanting to ask all day.

"Excuse me, Aunt Jackie." She said in the politest voice she could muster. "May I please ask you something?"

"But of course, my dear. What is it?"

"What made you decide to spend your life helping people?"

A warm smile spread across the blonde guru's face.

"Actually, Jefferson gave me the idea."

At this, Artemis nearly choked on her own saliva.

"AAAK! What? Jefferson? The old drunk guy? He told you to do all this?"

"Well, not in so many words, but I have tried to live my life by his example. He was such a kind and compassionate man."

"Uh… are we talking about the same guy who got drunk in the middle of the day and then blew off his doorknob with a shotgun?"

"You've only heard about him though stories. You didn't know him the way we did. Oh sure, he had his demons. And he spent most of his life fighting a losing battle against them. But there was so much more to him than that. Even after his friends and family kicked him into the gutter, he still managed to hold on to that basic sense of human decency. He used to think that all the adversity he'd suffered had made him cold and cynical, but he was wrong. It just made him kind. He knew how it felt to lose everything and to have to start over from the bottom. And that made him sympathetic to the suffering of others. I saw it myself. First with Ludo, and then again with Meteora. I remember thinking to myself, 'if someone like him can help people like them turn their lives around, why can't I?'"

"Wait, Meteora?" asked Artemis confusedly. "You mean that kooky old music teacher from Typhon? What's she got to do with anything?"

"That, I'm afraid, is yet another story for another day." The blonde guru answered cryptically before allowing herself another blissful smile. "And besides, it's getting late. That story took longer than I thought it would. It's nearly dinner time and Brother Dennis has promised to prepare us a sumptuous feast in your honor. Mustn't keep him waiting."

And with that, Jackie floated off in the direction of the Great Feast Hall.

Naturally, Kelly hurried after her like the devoted spouse she was, and Artemis followed soon after, muttering something about vegan food.

However, Marisol decided to hang back for a minute or two to take in the beauty of her surroundings.

To think that this island, which had once been the setting of a horrendous murder game, had become a place of healing and enlightenment.

It was truly awe-inspiring.

Just then, a strange melody reached the young princess' ear, prompting her to look upwards to find its source.

There, high up in the great willow's canopy, sat the mysterious being from her Aunt Jackie's story; the ancient and god-like Stand know as Aloha Oe."

The Stand of the King.

"Hey." He said casually.

"Oh… um… hello." Marisol replied.

"Hey, Marisol! You coming or what?" called her sister.

"Artemis! Artemis, come quick! You have to see…"

But before she could finish, the King's Stand had vanished.

"Never mind!" she called back.

And off she went to join the others.

End Notes:

Coming in… whenever I feel like it…

Part 4: 1-Up Girl.

Aqua Boogie vs Pac-Man Fever.

Let the games begin.