Ino and Sakura are both working in the hospital records room, looking for some information for Tsunade, when Ino comes across a filing cabinet with some very interesting information in it. Sakura tells her to butt out of it, but Ino isn't so easily deterred from juicy gossip, and she insists on going through each and every one of the recent physicals of Konoha's finest male specimens. It begins as a comparison of weights, but as soon as Ino discovers the little section that the kunoichi don't have, regarding sperm counts, it devolves rapidly.

"Look at this! Choji, my, my, I would never have guessed."

Sakura rolled her eyes, shaking her pink hair at her friend's antics. "Those are private, Ino."

The blonde just waved her hand airily. "What they don't know won't hurt 'em. Shikamaru..." She sighed. "Even his sperm are lazy. Motility, 28%."

Sakura couldn't help but giggle. "Why is that stuff even in the physical? It's not like they measure fertility in us kunoichi every time."

Ino shrugged. "Dunno, don't care. Oh, hey, look! This is Gai's...ugh, that's gross."

Sakura winced, but she'd forgotten her task in favour of curiosity. "So..?"

Ino smirked, knowing she'd hooked the workaholic temporarily.

"80 million per ml, 45% motility. And looking at the other jonin, I'm seeing a trend, here. All of our teachers are much more fertile than our friends. Which is a little weird, don't you think? I mean, boys reach their sexual peak at 17, don't they? Why are the older ones doing better in the junk department?"

Sakura snorted in amusement, turning back to her files. "What's weird is that you're comparing their 'junk' at all. Cut it out, Ino."

But the blonde was staring open-mouthed at a piece of paper, not listening. "Whoa."

Sakura ignored her, and continued to ignore her even as the blonde was batting at her arm trying to get her attention. Finally, Ino just put the piece of paper right on top of the stack Sakura had been collecting. Sighing heavily, Sakura read it.

Patient name: Kakashi Hatake

Age: 35

Height: 6'3"

Weight: 192lbs

The list continued, all way too much information on the reclusive man that was her sensei...but Sakura couldn't stop reading it. He wasn't much of a sharer, so even though he knew practically everything about her and the rest of the team, they knew little about him.

Then she reached the part that had Ino flabbergasted. Her expression quickly morphed into one of total shock.

"214 million!?"

Ino smirked, and pointed just below the number. "And 53% motility. He is absolutely desperate to knock someone up. A God of fertility." She crossed her arms over her chest, considering. "He probably hasn't gotten laid since he left ANBU. Maybe even longer. It explains why his balls are trying to make up for it."

Sakura blushed, hard, and Ino's heightened friend-embarrassment senses picked up on it instantly. "Come on, spill! You know something?"

Sakura swallowed thickly. "Uh, he has gotten laid. Like, recently."

Ino's eyes widened painfully. "You didn't..!"

Sakura looked at her friend in utter confusion, and then the light bulb went on. "No!" She was horrified. "Not me, Ino! I..." Her voice trailed off, the blush returning.

"I sort of caught him in the act."

Ino jumped up and down in glee. "You saw him naked? What does he look like? I bet he's hot."

Sakura scowled at Ino. "He's a ninja, we're all pretty buff. But, no, he wasn't naked. Well, not much, anyway."

Ino shook her head, smiling. "How can you be 'not much' naked? You are or you aren't. Was he still wearing the mask?"

She nodded, looking down. "He was still wearing all his clothes...he'd just sort of pushed his pants down...his ass is fantastic..." She blushed so hard at those last words, Ino thought she might pass out. The blonde silently urged her to continue.

"I was taking a shortcut through the alleys behind Ichiraku ramen, and I didn't feel like running on the rooftops, so I...I just sort of...I mean, I was pretty shocked, okay? And he knew I was there, but he didn't even slow down! And she was up against the wall, and God...he was really hammering at her. I mean, I thought he was hurting her at first, but then she..."

She fanned herself. Ino grinned. "Did she scream?"

Sakura nodded. "His name. And she didn't stop, she just kept screaming, and it was...it was really hot," she said, her voice small.

Ino nodded enthusiastically. "I bet it was! How did he know you were there? Did he hear you or see you?"

Sakura swallowed again. "He...he looked me right in the eyes. I was just standing there, too shocked to move, and he looked at me, and he just stared. She...it was Ayame, you know, Teuchi's daughter? She had her eyes shut, and her head thrown back, she didn't see anything. But he was watching me the whole time. And I couldn't move! I don't know why."

Ino grinned evilly. "He stared at you while he was fucking another girl? I bet he was fantasising. I bet he was imagining it was you up against that wall. You've thought about it, haven't you? Since you saw him like that?"

Sakura blanched, guilty. "No...I would never...he's my teacher, Ino!"

Ino scoffed. "You're twenty one years old, Sakura. He hasn't been your teacher for years. And he's hot, and he sounds interested. I say jump him. You won't regret it. He must be in his prime, with these numbers and that sort of behaviour."

Sakura blinked down at the paper again, the figures blurring a little as she fought back the memory of his bare ass, hips pumping as Ayame screamed for him. She couldn't fight off the shiver, though.

Ino crowed. "You want him! Just give in, fuck his brains out."

A smoky voice interrupted them, making them both jump guiltily. "You girls wouldn't be poking around in confidential information, would you?"

Sakura started as she realised what she held in her hands. Stuffing it behind her into a random file, she gave an attempt at an innocent smile. "N-no, we're just g-getting some files for l-lady Tsunade."

Kakashi raised a brow, and swung his gaze to Ino, who was trying to look contrite, but failing miserably as her excitement showed through.

"So, Kakashi..." she began, trailing a finger slowly up and down the filing cabinet. "Been to Ichiraku, lately?"

He smirked, though it was hard to tell apart from the crease around his one visible eye. "Yes, in fact I had a lovely meal there just the other day. Very fulfilling."

Ino grinned openly, her voice chirpy. "Well, I have to get these files to lady Tsunade. Seeya!"

She skipped out, ignoring Sakura's protests. Closing the door behind her, Ino leaned against it, ear pressed hard to the wood as she masked her chakra.

Sakura smiled unconvincingly at Kakashi, and suddenly a thought occurred to her.

"I thought you hated hospitals. What are you doing here?"

He took a slow step forward, then another, his gait lazy but powerful. She swallowed convulsively, noting how he watched her throat with keen interest.

"Well, you see, I thought that you might be able to help me out. I have so many bad experiences with this hospital...I thought that maybe, if I had a good experience here, it might balance things out. But..." and he took another step, backing Sakura into the filing cabinet. "...it would have to be very good."

Ino fought to hold in her squeal at the depth of his voice, the suggestiveness of his tone. Sakura was in for a nice surprise!

The pink-haired kunoichi was breathing hard, feeling the cool metal of the filing cabinet against her back, and the heat emanating from the tall man before her. His eye was so dark; pupil blown wide with lust. She could feel an answering throb low in her belly, and she knew she had to make a choice, here.

Throwing caution to the wind, she smiled winningly at him. "Always willing to help a patient in need. So," she continued coquettishly, "What are your symptoms?"

Kakashi grinned at her, one hand coming up to smooth softly down her shoulder. She shivered a little, her eyes half-lidded. "Well, the moment I walk in, I get these chills. Up and down my back, very distracting."

She nodded, humming under her breath as his hand moved to trace her spine. The contact left little trails of sparks behind, or so it felt. Her breath caught, and she waited for him to continue.

"And sometimes...I start feeling overheated. Anxious. Restless."

Now his other hand was moving, coming to rest on her breast, and he pressed down a little, drawing a gasp from Sakura. She arched her back, rubbing herself against his palm.

"What happens next?" she asked, her voice thick.

His breathing was heavier, now, as well, and he took a last step, his body coming to press against hers, holding her captive between the filing cabinet and his hard, muscled form.

"I just feel this need to move. It's overwhelming." He rolled his hips into hers, and Sakura moaned, feeling his erection against her belly. "Can you help me, Sakura?"

His hand left her back, moving down her front, until he reached her skirt. Dipping inside the waistband, he quickly found her wet heat and set to plundering, fingers moving with talent and exquisite pressure.

Sakura cried out, her back arching, as her knees began to feel weak. "Kakashi! Yes."

Ino was practically drooling outside, and found herself getting more than a little turned on. This was just about the sexiest thing she'd ever heard.

Kakashi manoeuvred her away from the filing cabinet and further into the room, until she felt the edge of a desk hit her just above her ass. He backed his body away just slightly and growled, "Turn around."

Sakura whimpered as his hand withdrew, doing as he ordered. "Oh, Kami-Sama."

The anticipation was intense, and she groaned as she heard him pushing his pants out of the way. She gasped as he pushed her body down, until she was only on her tiptoes, all of her weight supported by the desk. He flipped up her skirt and moved her thighs apart. His hands were warm and huge against her ass, as he cupped and kneaded her cheeks.

"Sakura, did it turn you on, watching me watch you?" His voice was dark, heavy with desire.

She moaned in response, feeling him roll her panties off and down her legs to tangle at her ankles. His hand was inside her again, and she could hear him doing something with the other as well.

"Did you go home and touch yourself, thinking of me?"

Sakura sobbed in frustration. "Please, Kakashi. Please!"

He chuckled darkly and snaked his wet hand up into her shirt, tweaking a nipple through her bra. She gasped as she felt his blunt head moving into position, but before she could speak he'd thrust in, all the way, leaving her breathless.

"Do you like that, Sakura?"

She cried out as he withdrew and drove forward again, hard but slow. He felt...he felt like...

"FUCK!" she cried, squirming on the desk. "So good. Don't stop," she panted, trying to rock her hips back onto him.

He was huge, but she was so wet that it didn't hurt. It just felt...

"Harder! Want it, please. More."

He obliged, and soon she had no more words, only screams as he filled her again and again, getting faster as she scrabbled at the desk, desperate to hold on to something, anything.

She could hear him as he fucked her, his low satisfied sounds. It only spurred her on, her muscles winding tighter as he plunged in roughly.

His hands were on her hips, now, pulling harshly back, impaling her on his length as he growled under his breath. Sakura felt like her throat was on fire from screaming, but the hoarseness of her voice only seemed to turn him on.

"That's it, baby. Scream for me. Fuck, so tight, Sakura!"

His words were too much; she came shrieking, clawing at the wall, at the desk, at his thighs as he pumped away inside her. He fought to hold on through the violent spasms in her, but the evidence of her thorough enjoyment was too much; he felt himself jerk roughly into her, holding her still as he spurted hotly inside her, groaning at the feel of her twitching around his cock.

Slumped on her back, feeling their heavy breaths in tandem, he grinned.

"That was a wild ride. I think my fear of hospitals is cured."

Sakura laughed shakily underneath him, the movement causing him to harden slightly. She gasped.

"What the actual fuck, Kakashi? So soon?"

He chuckled. "I can go for hours. How about you?"

She felt herself blush, though it seemed stupid at this point, with their position and his half-hard cock still buried in her sheath. "I...I don't know. I've never tried."

He disengaged, noting her wince, but ignoring it. "Wanna take this back to my place? Beds are more comfortable for this kind of thing."

Sakura turned to look at him, and for the first time noticed that his mask was down. Staring wide-eyed at his handsome features, she nodded eagerly.

Ino heard the 'poof' that signified a teleportation jutsu, and stomped her foot. She opened the door, to get the rest of the files that Tsunade wanted, and was overwhelmed by the scent of sex.

Like she wasn't wet enough, after hearing that.