A/N: This is a story I've been working on while I was supposed to buckle down and finish the next chapter of Alternative love. Hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Twilight and all its recognizable characters belong to the brilliant Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

Beautiful, dirty little secret

Song to listen to: Matthew Mole – Inside out

Chapter 1 – Paying respects

Bella closed her eyes, laying her head back against the headrest, trying to calm her frayed nerves. It wasn't Cameron's driving that made her palms sweaty, her stomach twist or her pulse race – he was an excellent driver. It also wasn't because of the looming funeral, but more about whom she'd have to face once she got there.

At the ripe age of thirty-three, you'd think she'd be able to ignore what other people thought of her, but no. And the reason for that was this beautiful boy-man sitting next to her.

Cameron Swan was her rock, her support. He stood by her when some days she still cried about the past. Cried about the reason she left Forks in the first place. He was her everything. And he also happened to be her sixteen-year-old son.

But let's go back seventeen years, to the day this boy's father walked into her life. Maybe then you'd understand why she was so nervous to go back.

The summer of 2000

Bella got into her truck, slamming the door and stomping on the gas pedal as she turned on the ignition, making the tires on her truck spin. In her rear-view mirror she could see the soggy grass and mud being kicked up as the wheels furiously tried to get a grip on the grass of her dad's lawn. Charlie was probably going to kill her, but she was so angry right now, that she couldn't care less about the consequences.

Jake kept avoiding her. Refused to take her calls, even making Billy do the brunt of the scud work, telling Bella that he was either out, or sleeping. And Billy was a bad liar. She knew something was up, and she wasn't just about to sit back and let her best friend push her from his life.

The truck finally made it onto the asphalt, and down the street, tearing through town as she headed to La Push to go and confront Jake about his meagre presence in her life these days. Maybe if she talked to him face to face, she'd get a real goddamn answer.

Bella shrieked when she almost lost control of the truck on the wet road – if her reflexes had been just a nanosecond slower, she would have headed nose first into a Fir tree standing on the side of a particularly sharp turn. Taking her foot off the gas and pulling a deep breath in through her nose to slow her thundering pulse, she decided that it wasn't worth dying just to get to her destination three minutes quicker.

The rest of the way was a straight strip of road, and she turned on her radio to keep her company – a gift from Jake for her sixteenth birthday last year. It wasn't new, but it was in perfect condition, blue back-lights standing out proudly against the 1953 interior. He knew how she loved her music, and even though she specifically asked him not to get her anything – not to make a fuss on her birthday – he still went ahead and got it for her. And man was she glad he did.

She parked her truck in front of the red wooden house with its perpetually peeling paint, jumped out and slammed the door shut. If Billy didn't hear that, he seriously had to consider getting a hearing aid. The metal thud echoed through the damp air, making her flinch despite her determination.

The last time she had been here, things between Jake and her had still been fine, and she was hell bent on getting things back to the way they were before. She wasn't leaving here until she did.

"He's not here, Bella." Billy called from the door where he filled the entrance with his wheelchair, before she even reached the porch. "He's out with his friends."

Bella was taken aback by the blank expression on Billy's face. He seemed so detached, whereas he normally greeted her with warm eyes and a big smile.

"Then I'll wait until he gets back," She shrugged. "But I'm not leaving here until I get to talk to him."

"Don't know when that'll be, kid." He still tried to discourage her from waiting. "But I'll tell him to give you a call when he gets in."

Bella scoffed. "Yeah, since that's worked out so well the previous seven times." She narrowed her eyes at her best friend's father. "I'll tell him to call you Bella," She said in a deep, mocking voice, doing a poor imitation of Billy.

"Bella?" She heard the voice of the boy she had come out to see today, and turned around to find him standing behind her, right in the middle, between four others. Only, none of them were boys anymore.

Her eyes widened as she realized that she knew two of them – Jared and Embry. But they looked like giants – certainly not how she remembered them. Even Jake, whom she's seen not two weeks ago, looked like he'd grown at least a foot and gained twenty pounds of muscle.

"What are you doing here?" Jake asked coolly, making her swallow the lump that had lodged itself in her throat. When did he become so cold toward her?

"I came to see you since you refuse to return any of my calls."

"I was busy." He shrugged, not even bothering to elaborate.

"Yeah, I can see that," She rolled her eyes. "Looks like you've spent every waking hour in the gym."

The guys next to him laughed, making anger boil inside of her. They were taunting her – making fun of her for some inside joke she just wasn't getting.

With determined strides, she marched up toward Jake, keeping her eyes focused solely on him and pretending that she wasn't intimidated by the guys at his sides. "If there's something you want to say to me, say it now. I'm sure as hell not going back before I get an answer."

"What is it that you want to hear?" He asked, arching a testy brow at her.

"I want to know why you're hanging out with them, and not with me, when not long ago, you talked about how much you hated them."

"I don't hate them. They are my friends." He sighed and ruffled his hair – yet another thing that's changed. The long ponytail he usually sported, had now been replaced by wet, short-cropped hair, and a large, round tribal tattoo sat atop his right bicep. "You need to leave, Bella. This isn't the place for you anymore."

Bella looked over at the tallest of the guys, her gaze locking with his soft, dark eyes that almost didn't match his intimidating appearance. He seemed sympathetic to her problem and she didn't like it – she hated it when people pitied her. But the longer she stared back at him, the harder it was to grasp why she didn't like him. She had never seen a more beautiful, ruggedly handsome man like him, in her entire life, and she consciously had to shake her head to clear her foggy brain and fight the instant attraction she felt. Squaring her shoulders in determination, she took a step closer to him, feeling the strange heat radiating from his muscled torso. "You're Sam, right?" She guessed. He fit the description Jake had given a while ago when he still harboured a lot of anger and hatred toward this guy in front of her, who had taken his friends from him. First Jared, and Embry shortly after. And now, he was suddenly one of them, even calling them his friends. What had made him change his mind so fast?

"Yeah," He nodded in surprise, seemingly impressed that she knew who he was, and held out his hand to her. She scowled at the hand he offered, shrugged and neglected to return the gesture. She didn't have the time or patience for pleasantries.

"I don't know what you did to make Jake push me away, but I hope you're happy." She sneered. "Guess this is like kindergarten where the boys don't play with the girls, because they're icky and have cooties."

"Oh, we have no problem playing with girls such as yourself." One of the others said, flashing her a mirthless smile. He seemed even more dangerous than any of the others, and as she met his gaze, a chill worked its way down her spine. Best to steer clear of him for the time being.

"Paul," Sam warned in a deep baritone that seemed to reverberate through her whole body, and made her stomach clench for another reason entirely. A reason she couldn't quite comprehend.

"You know what?" She turned her attention back to Jake. "Whatever." She held up her hands in defeat. "I'm done. If this is how you're going to be, then have fun with your new friends. But I'm not going to try and salvage our friendship on my own." She turned on her heel, stalking back through the now-pouring rain, trying not to cry. She wasn't going to give any of these behemoths the satisfaction of seeing they got to her. Jake could go screw himself.

"Bella! Wait up." A voice called from behind her. It wasn't Jake.

She refused to look over her shoulder at whoever was calling her, and kept on walking. She had nothing more to say to any of them. She shook the mud from her shoes with an annoyed huff as she reached her truck, pretty sure that her favorite pair of converse were never going to be the same after today.

"Can I just talk to you for a second?" A hand – Sam's hand – came down to rest on her shoulder, and she turned around begrudgingly to look him in the eye.

"What do you want?" She snapped at him.

"Just to talk real quick."

"And if I don't want to?" She challenged him, suddenly overwhelmed by the need to defy any of his wishes, and deny any of his requests. She wanted to piss him off as much as he pissed her off.

"Look, I know you're upset," He changed his approach. "But if you give me a chance to explain, then maybe things don't have to end like this."

"Like what?"

"You and Jake throwing away a long-standing friendship."

"Fine," She conceded, jaw tight as she spoke through clenched teeth, hoping like hell she wasn't going to regret it. "Get in the truck. I'm definitely not gonna keep standing in the rain."

Sam grinned annoyingly, like he found her anger funny. "Yes ma'm." He saluted her and followed.

It was warmer inside the cab of the truck, and the strange heat radiating from Sam made her tense muscles relax.

He watched her carefully as she pushed her wet hair out of her face and leaned back in her seat. It unsettled her. For some reason, she wanted him to keep watching her like he was mesmerized by her. Wanted to stay with him in this truck until it was time for her to head home. But at the same time, she wanted to keep being mad at him for driving a wedge between Jake and her.

"What?" She snapped at him.

He chuckled and shook his head, further increasing her irritation. "Nothing. You're just real cute when you're angry."

"Listen, Sam," She cut him off before he could say anything else. "You said you wanted to talk, so please," She gestured with her hand. "Go ahead and talk before I kick you out of the truck."

"I'd love to see you try." He grinned, making fun of her for her irritation.

"Get out!" She said through gritted teeth, leaning over him to reach the door handle. "This is obviously a joke to you and you're wasting my time."

"Fine, okay," He attempted to school his features, failing miserably. "I'm sorry." He covered her hand with his own to stop her from opening his door. "Just don't make me leave yet."

She pulled her hand out from under his, instantly missing the heat, and crossed her arms over her chest, waiting. When he still didn't talk, she arched a brow. "Before Christmas would be good."

Sam sighed, angling his body toward her. "This is going to sound really crazy, but the reason Jake couldn't see you, was because I forbade him to."

"And since when are you the boss of him?" She demanded. Who did he think he was, forcing Jake to do as he was told.

"Since I'm his Alpha."

"Meaning?" She wanted him to elaborate. She wasn't following.

"Meaning I'm the leader of our pack. I have all the authority, and what I say, goes. I'm responsible for their wellbeing, and I try my best to steer them in the right direction."

"You know that it makes you sound like some kind of cult leader, right?"

"Hardly," He denied. "We're guarding a secret - a very big secret - and in order to avoid others finding out, we shy away from mingling with those who don't share this particular secret." He explained. "None of us are allowed to reveal it."

"So then why are you here with me, if you're not allowed to explain to me what's going on?" She wanted to know, anxious for him to get to the point.

"If you just give me a moment to finish, you'd understand." His lips pulled into a hard line. "But you keep interrupting me."

She refrained from rolling her eyes, and sighed dramatically instead. "Fine. I'll stop chipping in."

"Thank you," He inclined his chin, before continuing. "As protectors of the Quileute people, we turn into wolves not long after we hit puberty."

Bella burst out laughing, making Sam frown. It seems she underestimated him, taken completely by surprise at his 'explanation'. "Wow, really? Is that the best you can do?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"If you wanted me to stay away, you really didn't have to make up such a far-fetched story. I was about to leave. Didn't need more encouragement, until you stopped me." She huffed.

"I'm not making it up, Bella," He shook his head in exasperation. "I could show you if you don't believe me."

She narrowed her eyes at him, taking in his earnest expression. He didn't seem like he was trying to bullshit her, but honestly, his story seemed a little impossible. "Let's say I do believe you, why are you telling me this if it's such a big secret?"

"Because you're my imprint."

And those were the magic words…or so she had thought back then. Now she hated the word – hated the idea.

The way Sam had explained it to her, his wolf had chosen her as his life partner. He would never love another woman, never want someone other than her. It meant forever for them, and nothing could change that.

She had fallen hard and fast for Sam, as did he, and anyone would have been hard-pressed to find a couple more in love, more caught up in each other. He was it for her, and at sixteen years old, she still struggled to come to terms with this overwhelming, all-consuming love. It was almost more than she could process. He was all she could think about, all she could dream about.

Her father was surprisingly crazy about Sam, even though he was three years her senior. Sam respected her, loved her and took really good care of her. And for Charlie, that seemed to be all he could ask for, where his daughter was concerned.

The situation with Allison Uley wasn't much different, either. Bella and Sam's mother clicked from the first moment they met. Bella adored the woman who had raised such a good man. And Allison was in seventh heaven when she found out Bella was her son's imprint, and her future daughter-in-law.

About five months into the relationship, Bella and Sam had sex for the first time. And yes, like two horny virgins, they failed to think of using protection. All they could think about was being together – sharing everything with each other, body and soul. In fact, they were so caught up in the intensity of the sex, that the reality of what unprotected sex could mean for them, only dawned on them later.

Neither of them were really concerned that Bella would fall pregnant after only three times, and since they'd started using condoms, it was pushed to the backs of their minds.

On a cold Christmas Eve morning, Bella had found herself sitting on the floor of the bathroom, pregnancy test lying upturned in front of her, hand covering her mouth in shock. After realizing her period was late, she'd decided to take a test just in case. She hadn't told Sam of the possibility, yet – didn't want to worry him until she knew for sure.

It was mind blowing to think how two pink lines and a text between Sam and her could change her life so drastically. One moment, she was still happy and completely in love, and the next, her life as she knew it, was blown to smithereens.

"I'm pregnant," She had typed out a text to Sam, hands shaking uncontrollably. She'd deleted about a dozen other attempts, not sure how to tell him, and in the end, she'd decided that straight forward was probably the best way to break the news.

Sam was busy helping his mother prepare for the Christmas lunch being held at the Tribal Center the following day - an annual get together. A tradition. She'd be joining them for her first time, but she had used the last two days to finish her English paper and Biology project that was due right after Christmas.

Sam's reply had shocked her to the core, making her sick to her already iffy stomach. She had expected him to freak out a little, maybe even be mad and blame her for not thinking about using protection. But she hadn't expected him to be so cold-hearted in his reply.

"I think that now is as good a time as any to tell you that I don't think things are gonna work out for us. We aren't compatible, and I think it boils down to the age difference. I've fallen for Emily, and we are much better suited for each other. As for the baby, feel free to do with it as you please. Abort it or keep it, but I don't want any part of it."

It had taken Bella a full fifteen minutes to recover enough to pull herself together, so she could dial Sam's number to try and find out why he was doing this to her. She couldn't understand how he wanted Emily, when he'd said their imprint was forever.

The call got rejected after the first ring, and the same thing happened when she tried to call for a second and third time. Clearly, he didn't want to talk to her. So, with tears running down her already puffy face, and an emptiness inside her the size of Texas, she decided that there was only one thing she could do. She had to leave.

She had packed her meagre possessions in record time once she'd made up her mind to go home to her mother, and after loading her stuff onto the bed of the truck and scribbling a short, pathetic and totally false explanation to Charlie on the back of a junk mail envelope, she got in her truck and watched as Forks disappeared in her rear-view mirror, for what she had thought would be forever.

Over the years, Charlie had done his best to contact her, even resorting to begging her mother for an explanation. Though Reneé had wanted to tell Charlie the truth, she had respected her daughter's wishes to keep the pregnancy private. After four years, the endless calls and texts finally stopped coming – her father had finally resigned himself to the fact that she wasn't going to call back, text back or come home. He had finally given up. And though it hurt her to cut all ties with her father, it was for the best. He didn't need to know; Didn't need to be disappointed in his daughter.

She wondered now, as Cameron drove past the welcome to La Push sign, what it was going to be like when she showed up unannounced, teenage son in tow. Aside from Jake contacting her to inform her about Sam's mother's passing, she hadn't kept contact with any of her friends. She hadn't even responded to Jake's text, still deciding if she was going to brave the trip from Florida to Forks, and face her past, just so she could pay her respects to the late Allison Uley. But even after seventeen years, Sam's mother still held a very special place in her heart, and there was ultimately no way she could stay away. Showing up was the least she could do.

What was it going to be like to see Sam and Emily together, little ones (or not so little anymore) running around? Would it hurt to see them happy? Would she be able to handle the pain and keep up appearances, until it was time to take off again? She still loved Sam, always would. And even after all the pain he caused her, the abandonment and the lies, she'd probably never get over him. After all these years, she's never even so much as looked at a guy in anything other than a platonic manner. He had been it for her, and if she couldn't have him, she'd never want anyone else. But the sad fact of the matter was, she would also hate him just as much, because of what he did. She would never be able to forgive him for abandoning her during a time when she needed him the most. She'd hate him because she had to watch Cameron grow up without a father. She had to watch as he stared longingly at the kids whose dads showed up for special occasions, school plays and soccer matches. She had to watch him blow out the candles on his birthday cake each year and wish out loud that his dad would show up. And as time passed, she had to watch him grow resigned to the fact that it was never going to happen. It had broken her heart. Her son had such a good heart, was such a kind, beautiful boy. How was it fair that he had to pay for her mistakes? For Sam's mistakes?

"You ready for this, Mom?" Cameron turned his head to look at her, forehead pulling into a concerned frown as they neared their destination. He looked so much like his father – nobody at the funeral today would have any doubts as to who the father of her child was. That he was Quileute, was no question, and that he was Sam's was even more of a certainty. He had the same soft, dark eyes, strong jaw and rugged features. Same nose, same dimpled chin – a spitting image of Samuel Uley, no doubt about it. He even got his height from his father, and some days she struggled to find any sign of Swan blood in him.

"Yeah, of course I'm ready. I've had the last forty-seven hours to prepare myself and now all I want to do is get it over with." She assured him. "Besides, I'm more worried about you."

"Me?" He wanted to know. Why would you be worried about me?"

"People can be mean," She explained, trying to prepare her son for the possibility of harsh judgement. "They might say ugly things about you. About us. But I want you to remember that it doesn't matter what they think. All that matters is that we stick together."

"And I'm worried about what will happen when you see my father again," Cameron didn't look at her as he spoke the words, instead focusing on the wet road in front of him. "I don't want your heart to break all over again when you realize that he's still the gigantic asshole you left behind, and doesn't want anything to do with us."

"Hey," She reached out to him when he pulled up at the cemetery, cupping his face between her hands and ignoring the fact that they were late. Everyone was already gathered under canopies, hiding from the rain as they stood in a mass of black around the open grave. Hopefully they'd be able to sneak in unnoticed. "I'm a lot tougher than I look," She tried to ease his mind. "Don't you worry about me."

"I know you're tough, mom. You're the strongest woman I have ever met." He believed in her so much even though she didn't always feel like she deserved it. He depended on her too, but sometimes she found herself wondering if he bore more weight on those teenage shoulders than she realized. More weight than he should at his age. Perhaps it had been a mistake to be so open and upfront about her past. About Sam.

With the impeccable manners she's worked so hard to inculcate in him, he got out of the car and rounded the front toward the passenger side, and opened her door for her, offering her his hand to help her out.

She took his hand and stepped out onto the soggy grass, mentally kicking herself for choosing heels. She should have known it would be raining. It almost always rained in Forks.

The dark clouds above them set a sombre tone for a sad occasion, almost like the skies were mourning the loss of an incredibly beautiful soul. And Bella found herself wondering if Allison Uley would have been sad to know that she had missed the opportunity to get to know her eldest grandchild. Some days she wanted to crucify herself for keeping Cameron away from the family he had here in Forks and La Push. And other days she was certain that she had done the right thing – she sure as hell wasn't going to force a child onto Sam, when he'd clearly said he didn't want anything to do with his offspring. It still blew her mind that he'd been so cold. So uncaring. The man who'd said those words, or typed them out over a phone, was not the same man she had fallen in love with. But what sixteen-year-old girl would have expected the world to be such a harsh place – would have expected to fall pregnant and have the other responsible party dodge his duties so deftly, so easily.

Just as Bella and Cameron joined the others around the grave, standing more to the back to remain inconspicuous, Sam Uley, the object of her anxiety and pain, looked up with narrowed eyes as he gave a eulogy to his mother, meeting her gaze head on.

His eyes widened markedly as he realized who he was seeing, stuttering over his words only once, before recovering himself and plastering a stony mask onto his face. He tore his gaze away from her, mouth pulling into a hard line despite his obvious intentions to remain collected. If she had been uncertain at all about his feelings toward her, she'd just gotten her answer very clearly.

Bella squeezed Cameron's hand to make sure he was okay, and slowly found herself getting lost in the soothing baritone of Sam's voice as he spoke the most beautiful and incredibly sad words about his mother's life, making an overwhelming guilt twist in her gut.

A/N: What did you guys think?