Hamlet, having eaten the part of a pretzel in record time, trotted off down the sidewalk in search of something to drink (the salty pretzel had made her quite thirsty). She soon found a puddle left from a light rain shower the previous day (it had been an unusually warm the past several days, but temperatures were once again beginning to drop). Dodging feet, baby strollers, and the occasional bicyclist, she continued on her way, frequently stopping to sniff things that looked interesting and only once relieving herself on someone's shoe. Having never had the freedom to wonder on her own, little Hamlet was having the day of her life – first a new four-legged friend, then a good snack, now a scenic view of New York. What could possibly go wrong?

"Have you seen a teacup pig around here? Pink and black, about yay big, wearing a small black collar?"

"Sorry, man, I ain't seen any pigs around here."

"Thanks anyway!" Tony called to the retreated back of the most unhelpful person he had ever met. "C'mon, Stark, that pig couldn't have possible made it that far. I was gone for like a minute!"

It had been almost 15 minutes since he had come out of the store to find the empty harness, and Tony Stark was determined not to panic. Natasha didn't come back until tomorrow, after all, and as long as she didn't find out he was home free – or so he thought.

His phone buzzed from inside his pocket, and Stark pulled it out, clicking the green button without looking at the screen first.

That was his first mistake.

"Tony?"

"Tony?"

"Tony!"

He looked down to find Romanoff looking back at him via Facetime, and looking none to happy about being ignored. "Yea, I'm here. What's up, Nat?"

"I wanted to tell you that there was a change of plan, and that I'll be back tonight instead of tomorrow…what are you looking for?"

"Hm?" He glanced back down at the screen before continuing his sweep of the sidewalk in a desperate search of small life. Having seen a snack cart up the street from the tech shop, he was fairly sure he was going in the right direction.

"What are you looking for?" She asked again, staring at him hard through the camera.

"I'm not looking for anything, everything is completely under control."

Natasha's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"You're outside and looking lost…" Act natural!

Stark, playing the part of the innocent bystander, dropped his sunglasses back over his eyes despite the soon-to-be-setting sun.

"You were in the dog park earlier…" The videos!

He stiffened a bit, knowing that Natasha had figured out what he was doing.

"Tony, where is Hamlet?"

Busted.

"Right here, see!" He said, a little too loudly, holding up the end of the leash that was looped around his wrist and hiding the empty harness on the other end.

"Tony…"

Ducking into a nearby alleyway, Stark thought fast. "Got to go, about to hit a tunnel!"

"Tony Stark don't you da-"

The rest of her sentence was cut off as he hit the red End button and shoved his phone back in his pocket. Leaning back against the brick wall behind him, Tony closed his eyes and pushed his palms against his face until he saw spots against the black of his eyelids. After taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and pushed himself off the wall and back out onto the sidewalk.

He had a piglet to find.

The piglet in question, less than two blocks away, was now very full. Following the pretzel was part of a hotdog, several chips, and most of a cherry popsicle given to her by a very small child who had tried to grab her tail. As she passed in front of another store, she stopped to smell the dozens of animal smells that wafted out. The automatic doors, sensing her presence, opened with a whoosh, startling to small creature. She jumped behind a nearby potted plant with a squeal, then waited. The doors closed swiftly, but soon opened again as tall woman came out with a large dog on the end of a bright-purple leash. Curious, Hamlet waited for the couple to pass before poking her head out and taking a tentative step toward the doors. The slid open again, but the piglet stood her ground. Finding her way into the building clear, she bounded forward and took no notice as the doors slid shut behind her.

As soon as she leapt off the rug that was lying just inside the doorway, the unsuspecting pig felt her small hooves flying out from underneath her. Scrambling to regain her footing, she slid sideways across the slick tile and into a small rack of soft things. Her uncontrolled motion finally stopped, she paused to sniff the fleecy objects that broke her fall. They smelled like her fluffy friend from the park, and Hamlet concluded that theses must be toys for people's pets. This thought was quickly interrupted by the yap of a small dog that was moving toward her, fighting the end of its leash. Its claws skated across the glossy floor, and Hamlet scrambled out of the toy display and skidded to the far wall of the store, where she found herself amongst several large tanks of water, each with a different type of colorful fish swimming around.

She watched, transfixed, as their colors changed and flashed in the underwater light. Moving carefully through the displays, she wandered wove through the tank stands without much thought as to where she was going.

"Are you a little lost, doll?"

She looked up to find a middle-aged woman looking down at her. The woman, wearing a blue apron with the pet store's logo on the front, leaned down and held out her hand. Hamlet took a tentative step forward to sniff her hand, but jumped back when the woman reached for her collar. With a squeal, she spun around and ran (well, tired to run) into the next aisle.

Halfway down the aisle, she found herself next to a small glass window at her own eyelevel. She stopped to investigate and found a small pointed face inches from hers. The rat's whiskers twitched, and they regarded each other for several moments before Hamlet moved on, roaming back into the store's main walkway. She heard a squawking coming from beside her and turned to investigate. Before she could find the bird, however, she heard a loud voice crackle to life above her and echo through the store.

"Attention PetShop costumers. There is currently a small pig somewhere in the store. The teacup piglet is wearing a black collar with a silver identification tag hanging from it. If you see the pig, please tell an associate so that we can safely track her down and get her home. Thank you, and have a nice evening!"

Hamlet, aware that the voice had said something about her, paused out of sight around the edge of a colorful display of leashes. Suddenly, she heard a familiar yapping from behind her.

"Hamlet?"

She turned at the sound of her name and found herself looking at a dark-haired boy holding a pack of tennis balls. More important, however, was the excited Pomeranian at the end of the leash.

As Hamlet and Daisy bounded forward to touch noses, Alex transferred the tennis balls to the hand holding the leash and pulled out his phone with the other. Hitting speed dial 9, the call for 'The Mechanic' went through instantly (his phone seemed to be working better than it had in weeks, he noticed, but at the moment he couldn't stop to ponder why).

"Hey kid, what's up?" Tony answered almost immediately, sounding stressed.

"You didn't, by chance, happen to lose Hamlet, did you, Mr. Stark?"

"It's Tony, Alex, and where are you?"

"The PetShop on 7th. She's wearing her collar, but her harness is gone."

"Keep her there, I'm on my way!" Alex heard the call end and slid his phone back into his jeans pocket, wondering how on Earth he was supposed to get a hold of the piglet without the harness to grab onto.

"Hey there, Ham. How did you get away from Mr. Stark, huh?" The pig ignored him, to enthralled by the return of her friend. Realizing that Daisy was a better distraction than he was, Alex stopped talking and sat quietly on the floor beside the pair, trying not to disturb them. Just over a minute later, he felt his phone buzz, and answered it without taking his eyes off of the piglet.

"Hello?"

"I'm 30 seconds away, do you still have her?"

"Well…technically no, but Daisy is keeping her more or less in one spot."

"Dai-? Oh, the dog." Tony was muttering to himself, power-walking down the street.

"Alright kid, I'm here. Where's the pet store?"

"In the middle of the block, right next to the organic foods store." He shifted to see around the leash display, looking for Stark to pass in front of the windows.

"Organic foods store? All I see is a gym and a smoothie shop."

Alex paused, thinking. "What street are you on?"

"2nd, like you said."

He almost laughed out loud. "7th street, Tony! After 6 but before 8. 7, not 2!"

The mechanic mumbled a few choice words under his breath, and the dark-haired boy heard his breathing pick up as he started charging down the streets of New York once more. "On my way!" The line went dead.

Alex shook his head, still trying not to laugh, and tucked his phone back in his pocket. Looking back at Daisy, he froze. Hamlet, slowly losing interest, had wondered several feet away to investigate a rack of dog food.

"Hamlet, come back here," he whispered, trying to avoid drawing attention to himself. Unfortunately, a passing gentleman heard him and noticed the loose piglet.

"Is that the animal they're looking for at the front?" He asked, looking over as Alex carefully got to his feet.

"Yes, it is, and her owner is on the way. Now, just move very slowly so that we don't scare her-"

Too late, the man had already started to bend down and reached for the teacup pig. Hamlet, realizing that this was not her owner, spun around gracelessly and skidded away down the main aisle, headed for the doors to the shop.

"No!" Alex bolted after her with Daisy bounding happily after him, knowing that if she got out the doors it would be next to impossible to find her again. Just as he got close enough to catch her, the automatic doors picked up movement from outside the storefront. They slid open just in time for Tony Stark to take one step and see the tiny pig bolt passed him, get a grip on the cement and take off into the crowd. Alex reached the doors and ran directly into the chest of the metal hero, letting out a small 'oomp!' as his momentum slammed to a stop.

Tony reached out to stand him upright, then gave him a nod of thanks and darted off after the piglet, knowing that his chances of finding her again in the fading sunlight were slim to none.

Stark felt his phone buzz in his jacket pocket and he pulled it out, relived to find Steve's number on the screen instead of Natasha's (he had now ignored three calls from her, and her silence in the last half hour was making him nervous). He picked it up and put it to his ear as he dodged his way around a small group of people.

"Tony? Where are you? I thought you were going to be home an hour ago."

"There has been a slight…complication."

"Complication?"

"Hamlet on the loose. Just lost her."

"What?! It's getting dark, Tony!"

Stark rolled his eyes, now free of the sunglasses from earlier. "Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"You're welcome Sargent Sarcasm," chimed in a female voice on the other end of the line.

"Hello Wanda," he sighed, realizing that he was on speakerphone with the pair. "Whatever you do, do not tell Natasha about this, alright? I'd really like to live to see tomorrow."

Steve's voice came back on the line. "Just find her soon, okay? Nat called just over half an hour ago to say that her flight had landed."

"Crap." Stark frantically scanned the sidewalk in the fading light. "Stall her, alright?"

"She's picking up food as we speak, but you don't have long." Steve's voice was muffled as he covered the phone to talk to Wanda. "Look, I'll come out and help, alright? Where are you?"

"Hamlet was last seen at the pet store on 7th, and she bolted heading north."

"I'll call if I find anything." The phone went dead and Tony shoved it back into his pocket. Losing a piglet was one thing – losing the piglet of one of the most terrifying assassins on Earth was a whole 'nother.

Hamlet, having run just over three blocks in two minutes, dropped to a slow trot as she looked around. The sun was truly setting now, and it was getting quite cold to be outside without a coat. The crowds of pedestrians had thinned considerably, and the piglet weaved among them, wishing for the first time that she had simply let the pretzel be.

After another 15 minutes of wandering down the sidewalk, the sun finally dipped below the horizon and the piglet began to shiver. The people on the sidewalk were now few and far between, and those who where left didn't bother to give her a second glace. Finding herself outside of a strange-smelling store (a Chinese restaurant, Steve would later say), she climbed into a low-potted plant by the front door and curled tightly into a ball. A few people came and went from the store, and it was only several minutes later that someone noticed her as they came out of the shop, take-out bag in hand.

"Hey there, Ham. What are you doing all by yourself out here?"

Hamlet looked up at the familiar voice, and leapt out of the pot and into their arms, burrowing into their jacket as they laughed and pulled out their phone to make a call.

"Stark? We found her. You'd better get back to the Tower, pronto."

"Thanks, Rogers, be there in 3." Tony, not bothering to hang up the phone, broke into a run, surprised to find himself letting out a sign of relief that Hamlet was safe at last.

The elevator doors opened into the main floor of the Tower, were Steve had said to meet him. There was a single light on above the fireplace, and the rotating recliner was facing away from him.

"Steve, thank god you found her, Natasha would have killed me if she knew I have lost her."

The chair slowly began to rotate, revealing a very content, sweater-wrapped Hamlet on the arm – and a very poised, frighteningly-calm red-haired woman sitting in the chair.

He was so going to kill Steve for this.

"So," she said, folding her hands in front of her as Stark froze, trapped holding the empty leash and harness as glaring evidence in his hand. "You have everything completely under control, do you?"

He gulped.

Busted.