A/N: Sorry about the delay guys! I got mugged and the guy made off with my laptop along with other things. So I lost a lot of my WIPS so pretty much everything is delayed. Also, from now on I will likely just post on my AO3 account from now on. My name is still LavenderWine! Thanks guys!

"So...you're quiet."

I tilted my head, "I...guess I have been quiet. Am I making things uncomfortable?"

Varric paused to wait for me to catch up to him, "Uncomfortable? No. Mysterious more like."

I blinked bemusedly for a moment and then laughed lightly, "Mysterious? Can't say I've ever had anyone accuse me of being that. How do you figure I'm being mysterious?"

"You must be joking! A young woman that came through a Rift from another world who we recruited from a cult in the hills?"

A scowl crossed my face, "Yeah, I think 'drafted' is the better word."

The urge to glare up at Adrian's back burned in my bones. But I held that desire in check. Despite the fact that I was forced into joining the Inquisition, I was away from the cult and now my continued living and protection was dependent upon this traveling group. I furrowed my brows and swept my eye back to the dwarf, assessing him carefully. Something about Varric put me at ease. He made me feel a bit more comfortable and like I had a chance to be more myself. He certainly didn't seem to act or look like a devout Andrastian or anything.

"And you're still quiet!"

"No…" I smirked weakly at him then, "I'm being mysterious."

The dwarf laughed, "Alright, I'll give you that one."

"So...Varric? Why are you here? I mean, this is a….religious group. It's called the 'Inquisition' afterall. And yet you…"

"Don't seem like one of the faithful?" he helpfully supplied.

"Yeah."

"Listen, it doesn't take being a part of the faithful to try and patch up a hole in the sky."

"Good point."

Varric leaned in, "Plus I got dragged into it same as you by our charming Seeker up there."

"I can still hear you!" Cassandra called back.

"Does that make it any less true?"

My mind was reeling. Cassandra opposed Adrian trying to force me into the Inquisition and yet she had forced Varric in? Why would she do that? Had her opinion changed? Were the circumstances different?

"Do not listen to him." The woman halted to face us, resting her arm ontop of her sheathed sword, "As much as he likes to moan about it, Varric has been free to leave for a while. I only brought him to tell the Divine about how the rising civil war started…."

"The Divine…" I repeated slowly, familiarity pricking at the edges of my mind, "Wasn't she the one who died at the Conclave?"

Cassandra flinched, her brows knotting firmly over her eyes that brimmed with hurt, "Among many others…. I would prefer not to speak of this any further."

My gaze softened and I nodded, "Ok."

"Are you lot finished? The sky isn't going to close itself." Adrian snapped back to us irately.

'I wish your mouth would close itself.' I thought venomously but I kept my gaze directed at the ground.

Varric and I kept pace with each other and when I felt like the Herald was no longer paying us any mind, I looked to the dwarf, "Is he always that pleasant? Or am I just catching him at a special time?"

My walking companion snorted, "No he's definitely that charming naturally." he rubbed his chin then, "But I will say, it's hard to get a good read on the guy. It's almost like he doesn't like people and yet he still tries to do things to help them."

"How do you mean?"

"Well like when he forced you to join. He didn't handle it well at all and got so focused on our task that he didn't seem to think or care how it would make you feel about it. But I have seen him help haul wounded soldiers back into safety even when it would put himself at risk."

My eyes drifted back to the warrior leading us, watching the sword on his back bob in time with his steps. So I had to begrudgingly admit that maybe he wasn't a complete asshole. My eyes narrowed into a glare.

But he was still an asshole.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

We walked for what felt like hours from the cult in the hills. And it was miles out from the fort that we were ambushed by mages. A fireball came careening at me, the heat washing over my body before it made contact. But I was sent sprawling onto the snow dusted ground when an armored body collided with me. Reeling, I looked up to see Adrian looming over me, pony tail hanging over his shoulder and into my face. Fierce mahogany eyes glared down at me.

"Stay out of the way, girl." he snapped in annoyance before climbing to his feet.

"Take them down!" Cried out a hoarse voice.

I pushed myself up onto my elbows and saw four mages gathered down the hill from us. There was a raw desperation burning in all of their faces that cut to my heart. Did they think we were templars? Why would they be so desperate to kill us? My thoughts were knocked away when another mage summoned up a fireball and sent it flying towards us. Raw fear sank its claws into my chest, the memory of burned corpses and the stench of scorched flesh washed over me like a tidal wave.

My breath froze in my lungs, my muscles locked and the first fireball was quickly accompanied by others. I could feel the heat rolling down towards us and I stared at the incoming attack with wide eyes. Before I could snap out of it, Solas stepped in front of me and held out a hand with purpose, his staff pressed behind him. The air around us hummed to life, vibrating against my skin faster and faster until there was a dim glow that flickered into existence. It grew until it covered the front half of us, the light glowing brighter now.

A fireball collided with the light, the flames bursting on contact, heat roaring past us. Blazing embers rained down around to the ground, Solas and I unharmed by the attack. With the wave of his hand, the barrier dissipated and the battle truly began. With an uncanny grace, the elven mage twirled his staff to fire off a bolt of energy back towards our attackers.

"Stay behind me." he instructed firmly, standing with confidence before the group of mages advancing towards us.

Shaking all over, I nodded weakly, "Okay…."

Everything seemed to race by in a blur. I had never seen a fight of this scale before, the worst being skirmishes with demons that had crept into the fort but never like this and with other people. It was brutal, it was violent and by the end of it all I was staring over four bleeding corpses of mages that had just been afraid and attacked out of self preservation.

My eyes locked onto a woman. No...a girl. She must have been seventeen and she lay in the snow, her hair a halo about her head and her throat marred with a crossbolt right through her trachea. I swallowed the bile rising in my throat as the group chattered back and forth, not at all hearing what they were saying. I snapped out of when Varric stepped up to the body and pulled the crossbolt out of her neck with a sickening 'squelch'.

"I don't know, Seeker." he said with a sigh, kneeling down next to the girl to close her eyes, "They didn't seem mad with power to me. They acted more afraid than anything else."

"But why would they attack first? We hadn't even seen them! And not a one of us look like templars!" she protested.

"Perhaps they were worried we would spot them and attack or run off to tell some templars." Varric cleaned the blood off of the bold and put it away, "That...or maybe there's more of them nearby and they wanted to protect their group."

I could feel the tears blurring my eyes. I could smell the smoke from the scorched patches of earth. And I could hear the screams of pain from when these people had been cut down. The awful memory seemed to flood my skin, burrow into my bones and rush into my blood. I looked to the party I was traveling with, feeling horrified to see them checking their pockets for items they could take. It felt so wrong. Such a gross violation and so casually dismissive of the slaughter that just happened.

Cassandra straightened, pocketing a few coins that she had found on one of the fallen, "Perhaps. I suppose it is too late to matter now."

"You. Girl."

I snapped my head to the side to see Adrian advancing towards me, a flame of anger burning in his eyes. There was blood spatter on his face. On his armor. It splashed onto the sword he had yet to put away and I felt afraid. I didn't move as he advanced towards me. And I didn't move when he reached out and took hold of the front of my robes. My eyes widened when he pulled me a bit closer to him.

"Are you touched in the head?" he snarled, "You stood there and watched a fireball come flying at you?!"

My voice was locked in my throat. I couldn't look at his eyes for I was too fixated on the blood. It was everywhere. It gleamed in liquid rubies on his armor in the light of the sun, clung to his skin. I could hear weeping like a distant echo reaching past the world. Energy hummed around me and all I could feel was the death that clung around him like a second skin.

"Are you listening to me?" Adrian shook me roughly, "If I hadn't been there you could have died!"

"Adrian…" Varric said cautiously.

"Not now, Varric." was the warrior's sharp retort, his hand still clutching my robes.

"If you continue as you are…" Solas said, his voice even, "she is going to lose control."

Adrian tore his eyes away from me to look at the elven mage. When he looked back to me, he looked down at my hands and an understanding lit up in his eyes. Slowly his fingers released my robes and he stepped away. When I lifted my hands up, just as slowly as Adrian had released me, I was met with thin crackles of lightning sparking around my limbs. The sight struck terror into me. The electricity pulsed, growing in it's intensity but still held barely to me.

"Solas…." I choked out, "How do I stop it?"

I had honed in almost all of my focus on my healing skills. The lightning and attack magic as a whole I had barely touched. The only time I had lost control was back when I was first traveling with Ellandra and those highway men had attacked us. The elven mage approached me, placing himself between Adrian and I. That one action eased a slight bit of my discomfort and fear.

"Close your eyes. And breathe."

I did as instructed, taking a deep and shaky breath.

"What do you feel?"

"Fear." was my immediate answer.

"Your own? Or is it from around you?"

I felt a shudder roll across my skin, "Both."

"You are safe with us, Evelyn."

A sigh rushed passed my lips and yet my back tensed at the same time, "Am I?"

"Yes. We will not cast you out or hurt you."

I did not understand how Solas was able to retain such a calming presence after all the chaos that had just erupted. I did not understand how he seemed unperturbed by my barely clinging to control by a thread. But he was and it brought a stillness to my spirit. I nodded in response.

"I smell the fire." I breathed, shuddering at the scent of charred clothes and flesh and grass.

"Ignore it. Focus, instead, upon the power you hold in your hands."

I did as instructed, feeling the threads of electricity twisting around me. It hummed in almost anticipation, in a need to be released. It suddenly made sense what I needed to do. I took a deep breath and sighed, slowly releasing the energy that had built within my fingers. The lightning dissipated easily, leaving a slight hum that echoed in the air before fading.

"Thank you…." I said with a relieved sigh, dropping my shoulders.

"Of course. It would be overwhelming for anyone."

I looked back to Adrian to see the man relaxing his sword arm, visibly. I paled. Would he have killed me? What did he think I was going to do? Was it really worth killing me over some discharged lightning? But then I remembered Ellandra telling me about Abominations and swallowed hard. Had they thought I was about to become one?

Cassandra seemed to sense my internal crisis, "Let's keep moving. I don't think any of us want to remain here any longer and we have a lot of ground to cover."

I could have kissed her for that.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We hiked for days. For almost two weeks really. I was ready for some time alone. I was ready for some warmth. Honestly, I was ready for a lot of things but I probably would have given half of my rations for the week to just be away from Adrian. He was sour, contrary, temperamental and really just an insensitive jackass. And confusing. Very confusing to me.

He actively expressed disdain for having to help anyone on the team but still seemed to get mad if they got hurt. Made steps to try and eliminate chances of injuries. At first I thought it was just more practical and convenient for him to have his party not hurt but there were moments where he almost seemed to really be concerned. He had moments where he was almost nice.

"One would think that a healer would be more accustomed to death." He grunted to me from across the campfire.

And then he did shit like that.

The hike had been filled with more fights with mages and templars alike. Which meant more slaughter. More blood. And more unsettling sights for me to see that I had yet to adjust to. Solas and Varric had stuck a lot with me lately and made it very clear to me that they would not just toss me out onto the road to fend for myself. Even Cassandra made that known that they weren't going to leave a young woman who couldn't look out for herself, unprotected. And as a result my mouth had grown a little more….unfiltered.

"One would also think that someone with the title of 'Herald of Andraste' would be more understanding and kind to his followers but here we are."

The answering scowl could have made the sky shiver but I said nothing more. And neither did he. I went back to focusing on the ball of lightning I was trying to contain within my palm. Since that day, Solas had been sitting with me to help me gain better control over my powers when we make camp.

"Careful." He instructed, "Lightning is different from fire or ice. It requires less of an outpour of mana because once it is sparked, it is easier to grow due to its own nature."

I followed his words and eased back on the energy I was pouring into the lightning ball. The flickering stabilized and I was able to cup the electricity in my hands. It was like a perfect balance between myself and my magic. Excitement blossomed in me. Perhaps I really could do this.

"Well look at that, Firefly!" Varric laughed, "You got it!"

I released the lightning ball and turned to the dwarf with a puzzled expression, "Firefly?"

"Seemed to fit. Once you got the hang of your magic, your eyes just lit up."

"Oh." I laughed lightly then, "I suppose it's endearing."

Varric leaned back with a smile, taking a slow draw from his water skein, "I live to please."

"Evelyn?" Cassandra asked from across the fire, "What is your world like?"

The raw curiosity that glinted in her eyes next to the reflection of the firelight was so intense and unabated. It was almost child-like, wrapped in wonder as she tried to think of the possibilities of my world. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face then. Seeing her spark, a wistful side of the woman who was normally so battle hardened and practical, it was charming.

"I'm surprised none of you asked sooner." I smirked faintly.

"Well there were plenty of times where you had a look on your face that could scare off a dragon." Varric took another bite of the fire roasted nug that we had for supper.

"You guys have dragons here?"

The dwarf laughed, "See? You lit up again! Firefly is perfect for you!"

"Varric, hush." Cassandra said, "Let her speak."

"I must admit, I am fascinated myself." Solas said, intrigue echoing in his voice, "To come from another world entirely...It sounds extraordinary."

I rubbed the back of my head, sheepishly, "It's...hard to know where to begin. My world is so vastly different from this one." I looked up at the stars, pondering for a moment, "One thing I could say is the sky…"

"Is it a different color?" Cassandra asked quickly, nearly delighted.

"Oh...no it's the same color. It's just the place I lived...in the city, you couldn't see the stars like this. Not so many of them nor so brightly. There was too much light pollution."

"Light pollution?"

I cast a cool glance over to Adrian, "Yes. In my country, in many, we have our buildings and cities powered by electricity." I summoned up a lightning ball then, like Solas had shown me, "Electricity harnessed to bring light, to power our buildings, our machines."

"Magic can be used for such things?"

"Well, it wasn't magic, Cassandra. I don't know exactly how it works but magic didn't exist in my world. Or at least, not like this." I studied the orb crackling in my hand, "It was...tricks. Illusions really. It was for entertainment. No one could do something like this-" I made the ball hover a bit higher, "in my world."

"No magic?" Varric tilted his head before giving a dry laugh, "So what did your people even fight about?"

"Oh we fought over plenty. No magic required for that." I released the magic I had channeled into my hand and stared up at the stars.

Silence fell across us for a few moments before it was broken by Adrian.

"You've never even seen fighting before you came here."

I brought my eyes back down, staring at my hands, "No. Violence...well it wasn't everywhere like this. A lot of people would go years or most of their lives without seeing even a brawl. It really just depended on where you lived. I had seen the aftermath of violence in my job. But the act of...killing someone? I had never seen before." It was painfully quiet then. Quiet enough that I shifted uncomfortably and looked back up to the sky, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. Some other time."

Thankfully no one argued. I went to bed that night missing my home terribly. And I fell asleep into a dream back into the rush of a busy city, cars roaring by. It was a chaos that I used to not enjoy but that night I had never found the sheer noise of the city more comforting.

Xxxxxxxx

Sometimes the world can surprise us. I was surprised by many things when we finally arrived at Haven. The first surprise was just how...small it was for something with the title of "The Inquisition". It was filled with battered people who seemed to be weighed down by the green light that fell upon them from the sky. Despair and fear seemed to fester between their faint smiles, rimmed with the thread of paranoia.

The second surprise was that the people of Haven seemed to know exactly who I was and what my circumstances were because they seemed to shrink back in fear just from the sight of me. At the sight of me, a young woman who felt just as uprooted as them, overwhelmed by the weight of magic that I was still learning and didn't even know existed until nearly six months ago.

The third surprise was the one that made me angry. Furious even. When I arrived into Haven, there wasn't any kind of set up for a clinic really. Sick and injured were taken inside of the chantry building and cared for. But the part of this entire thing that enraged me was that there were hardly any injured or sick at all. Adrian's whole reason to force me into the Inquisition in the first place was on the premise that their people were overwhelmed with too many sick and injured.

I rounded on him, "I thought you said your people were overwhelmed with more sick and injured than you could handle."

My glare was venomous and Adrian was more than happy to give me one of his own.

"They were." was his tight retort.

"Doesn't seem like it to me." I said hotly.

"Forgive my intrusion…"

Both Adrian and I stopped glaring at each other to stare at a woman who seemed to be in her fifties, garbed in these red and white robes, her hat swooping upwards. Her presence set me on edge for her tone was kind but her eyes surveyed me with guarded suspicion. Yet another here who heard of my story and was anticipating me to burst into violence.

"Mother Giselle." the Herald said, straightening his shoulders.

She nodded her head gently at him in recognition and turned to look at me. If she held the title of "mother" then she must be with the Chantry. I furrowed my brows slightly. Almost everyone here was associated with the Chantry in some way it seemed.

"You must be the one they call, Blessed."

I flinched, "That name is not necessary. Infact I would rather you not use it at all."

"Did you not use your gifts to bring back someone from the dead? I was under the impression that was how you got the title."

"I did...but not in the way everyone seems to think. It was technique and luck. And the technique I could teach anyone here."

"And yet the Maker granted you the luck required. Perhaps the people's belief was not misplaced." I opened my mouth to protest, "But I digress. The herald brought you here to try and help us. And we were overwhelmed by sick and injured. But many of them have passed on to the Maker's side."

My face fell. It was sometimes easy to forget the limitations of their medicine here. And hearing that news made me feel guilty for snapping. I turned my head to look at Adrian and the apology died in my throat. His jaw was set tightly, brows drawn tight over his intense eyes. They closed and he clenched his fist so tight I could almost hear his bones creak.

"How many?" he asked tightly.

"Of the fifteen that arrived to us from the caravan, four survived."

My heart stopped. Silence washed over us but it didn't take long for me to hear the faint 'pop' of Adrian's knuckles cracking. I could practically hear his teeth gritting together as he tried to wrestle in the words to say next.

"Thank you, Mother Giselle, for doing what you could."

His words were short, brusque and after he squeezed them out from between his teeth Adrian stormed off. I watched him go in silence, the somber mood weighing down upon me. Eleven deaths. Could I have helped any of them if we had made it here faster? Was it me that slowed us down to begin with?

"Do not trouble yourself, child." Mother Giselle said gently, "There was no more that could have been done. Many of them were sick before they arrived. And then the bandits attacked them just outside our perimeter, making the chances of survival low. I had hope but it became clear soon after the Herald left that there would be few who would last long enough for help to arrive."

I turned my head off in the direction Adrian had stormed off in. He had plunged back out into the icy air outside but where he would go to get his space I had no was little privacy to be had in Haven if first impressions told me anything accurate about it.

"Is he going to be ok?" I asked slowly, "He...didn't look very pleased."

"There is much on his shoulders. I believe he will be ok but he needs some time. Come. We have much to discuss."

So I tore my eyes away from the door and delved into the endless pile of work that awaited me.