Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K.R.

Many thanks to Srikanth1808 and shinykamon for betaing this story.

-ooOOOoo-

The Ministry Sanctioned Use of Love Potions

Severus Snape stared down at the letter on his desk. He read it for a second time, then a third time. Thanks to his excellent Occlumency shields, his face betrayed nothing of his feelings while he read. However, under the cover of the long sleeves of his robes, his fingers, stained from the long years of handling potion ingredients, curled into fists.

'This has to be a bad joke,' he murmured, barely moving his thin lips. He read the letter for a fourth time, but the contents didn't change:

From: Ministry for Magic, Department of Magical Education

To: Hogwarts School for Wizardry and Witchcraft, Professor of Potions

Subject: Ministry Sanctioned Use of Love Potions

Dear Professor Snape,

The Department of Magical Education finds it necessary to call your attention to Ministry Educational Decree No. 4K from March, 11th, 1721. Ever since then, the Ministry-approved use of love potions has been an important part of the Hogwarts Potions curriculum for all fifth year students.

It has come to our notice that you and your predecessors have neglected to teach that part of the curriculum since 1880, which has led to a dangerous lack of knowledge among the students, and has caused a dramatic increase of love-potion induced accidents, as informed to us by St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, and the Hogwarts school nurse.

In light of this development, the Department of Magical Education is compelled to remind you of your obligations as Professor of Potions, and direct you to teach the students that small, yet so important bit of the curriculum. Please note that failure to do so will result in your immediate dismissal.

Hoping you are well,

Sincerely,

Elvira Blythe

Head of Department of Magical Education

Severus crumpled the letter in his hand. He thought of his mixed Slytherin/Gryffindor class, and a feeling of dread overcame him. The Ministry left him no choice: he had to teach them about the use of love potions, which not only included the actual brewing, but also administering the potion to the students without their knowledge, to test the potency of the potion, as the leaflet that came with the letter told him. Someone at the Ministry must have lost the little common sense wizards and witches possessed, he thought. It was yet to be determined how many students would be still alive after that lesson was over.

-ooOOOoo-

'I think I am as dissatisfied as you are that the Ministry is blatantly trying to interfere at Hogwarts, but - alas - my hands are tied. I am confident that we'll master that challenge, as we have mastered the challenges of the past. On that note, I'd like to end today's meeting, unless one of you has a concern we haven't yet talked about,' Albus Dumbledore said, looking at the Hogwarts' staff assembled in the teacher's lounge.

There were shakes of heads and negating murmurs as the teacher began to collect their papers, glad that the last preparatory meeting before the start of the new school year was finally over. The headmaster had surprised them with the news that the Ministry had appointed a professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Of course, they all had grasped at once the implications of that: the Ministry was trying to get its claws into Hogwarts. That was confirmed as Albus announced the name of the new colleague: Dolores Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic.

A collective groan had gone round the table at that announcement. Most professors remembered Umbridge from her days as a particularly untalented student magically. What she lacked in magical ability, she had made up with an extraordinary ambition, brown-nosing, and ruthless disposition. She never hesitated to tattle on her classmates, if it was to her own advantage, but always managed to cover her own tracks: both traits that made the student body as well as the staff loathe her.

'In fact, there is one point I'd like to discuss,' Severus Snape's clipped, low voice broke through the noise.

All heads turned towards him.

He pulled out a crumpled sheet of parchment from his robes and put it on the table in front of him. 'I received a letter from the head of the Department of Magical Education this morning,' he began. 'Unfortunately, Defense Against the Dark Arts is not the only subject the Ministry wants to meddle in. Madam Blythe thought it necessary to remind me of a part of the Hogwarts' fifth year potions curriculum I've avoided to teach until now, since it'll only cause unnecessary complications and animosities among the fifth year students. Unfortunately, this letter forces me to teach that rubbish from now on.'

Minerva McGonagall's dark brows rose up at that. 'What part would that be, Severus?'

'I'm talking about the part of the fifth year potions curriculum introduced by Ministry Educational Decree No. 4k,' he replied.

McGonagall still looked blank, and so did the rest of his colleagues.

A contempt sneer appeared on Severus Snape's face as he informed his colleagues about the content of Ministry Educational Decree No. 4K.

'The decree demands that I not only teach the students how to brew a love potion, but also have to administer the potion to them without their knowledge, not only to determine its potency, but also, and I quote here from the text of the decree, "to show them the repercussions of such a potion in a controlled environment and under the supervision of adult wizards and witches." '

His announcement was met with dead silence. Then someone started to snigger. Another professor joined, then a third. A second later the dignified professors of Hogwarts School for Wizardry and Witchcraft were howling with laughter. Tears of laughter were trickling into Albus Dumbledore's long beard, while Minerva McGonagall and Pomona Sprout had to support each other not to fall from their chairs. Filius Flitwick was not so lucky: doubling with laughter, the diminutive Professor for Charms caused the stack of books he was sitting on to topple over, and disappeared under the table in an avalanche of said books. His uproarious laughter that still could be heard from under the table, though somehow muffled, indicated that he hadn't come to harm.

Severus easily withstood joining the hilarity of his colleagues. He scowled at them while he waited until they had regained their composure. Finally, the last of them had calmed down, and Filius Flitwick had climbed back onto his stack of books.

'You seemed to have forgotten my mixed Slytherin/Gryffindor class. How in the world am I supposed to teach them this without causing them to murder each other? The curriculum not only demands that I teach them how to brew that damned potion, but also to feed the potion to students who are as opposite of each other as possible, to watch the effect, and to determine if it has been done right. Can you imagine what will happen in that class?' he fumed.

'I'd better stock up on my supply of Blood Replenishing Potions and Pain Killers. Maybe some additional Skele-grow wouldn't be a bad idea, either,' Poppy Pomfrey mused.

Severus shot her a withering glance.

'I think nothing will come of that,' Albus Dumbledore said. 'Gryffindors and Slytherins are like fire and ice. I doubt a potion brewed by a student is able to overcome that. The potion will maybe stir some mild interest for one day, but they'll be back to their centuries old feud the next day.'

The other professors, especially Minerva McGonagall, nodded to that and murmured their consent - with two exceptions.

'Oh, I don't know. I always thought that Slytherins and Gryffindors are way too pronounced in the way they convey their disgust of each other. In my opinion, that masks an attraction both parties are aware of, but neither of them wants to admit,' Filius Flitwick said.

Severus huffed at that.

Pomona Sprout stared at the diminutive Charms professor. 'You must be taking the mickey, Filius.'

'During my time all Slytherin girls agreed that Gryffindor had the dreamiest boys in school,' Septima Vector reminisced. Her voice sounded wistful. She didn't seem to notice the amazed looks her colleagues gave her as she dwelled on obviously pleasant memories.

Oddly enough, Minerva McGonagall, Head Professor of Gryffindor, contributed nothing to the discussion. Instead, she regarded her longtime friend and colleague Filius Flitwick with a strange expression on her face.

Albus Dumbledore rose from his seat, a sign that the meeting was over. 'Well, this was most interesting, Severus. Unfortunately, you have no other choice as to bow to the orders of the Department of Magical Education. However, you must keep us informed about the development of this. It'll be most entertaining, I'm sure.'

With that, the aged wizard left the room. Severus could have sworn he heard a soft sniggering wafting behind him. The rest of the staff followed him, one by one or in pairs. Severus, however, remained in his seat, his head buried in his hand.

'Why in the world did I allow Albus to talk me into teaching Potions at this damned school? I should have accepted my punishment and gone to Azkaban; that would have been easier,' he groaned.

-ooOOOoo-

The new school year had begun a week ago. The whole school was still teeming with the tale how Potter, that undisciplined dunderhead, had managed to butt heads with the new Professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts, and got a week of detention for his cheek. That boy was just like his father, without any trace of subtlety and finesse, Severus thought as he watched the Gryffindor/Slytherin class filing into the Potions classroom for the second lesson of the year.

He cleared his throat, and at once the class fell silent.

'Today, you'll be learning about the subtle art of brewing a love potion…' As he had expected, Brown and Patil started giggling at that, but the glare he sent them took care of that.

'You will also learn about the legal context in which the use of love potions on a member of the opposite sex is sanctioned by the Ministry for Magic. As you all know, the magical population of Britain is small, and has been decreasing in numbers for centuries. For that reason, wizards and witches are encouraged to marry right after school and reproduce soon. However, the Ministry is aware that young wizards and witches often find it hard to gather the courage to make the first step to start a courtship. For many, the fear of rejection is too overwhelming. To circumvent these obstacles, it is legal to use a love potion a single time on the object of your desire to … set things in motion and ignite a spark. After that, you are on your own again. The potion is designed not to work on the intended target if it has no interest at all in you. It will only give you a chance if there is some genuine attraction. The list of needed ingredients and the instructions are on the board. You have one hour. Begin!'

He tapped with his wand at the board, ignoring the giggles and whispers among the students. Even his disciplined Slytherins hardly couldn't contain themselves, if the excited whispers among the girls and the wary glances of the boys were anything to go by. This was going to be one long lesson.

-ooOOOoo-

Severus looked at the two rows of potion vials on his desk, each one carefully labelled with the name of the student, the name of the potion it was supposed to be, and the date the sample had been brewed. To the left were the samples of his ten Slytherins, to the right were the samples of the eight Gryffindors. Now, how should he pair them? There were five boys and five girls in Slytherin, but only three girls and five boys in Gryffindor.

He began with a simple process of elimination and picked up the samples of Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. He didn't even need to employ his other senses: one look at the samples told him that any poor girl who would be given these samples wouldn't live long enough after that to show any desire to kiss one of the two trolls. He marked both samples with a "T" and shoved them aside. At least that left him with even numbers of Gryffindor and Slytherins to pair up with each other.

As always, the samples handed in by Granger and Malfoy were perfect. He marked Malfoy's with an "O", and Granger's with an "E", and decided their loathing of each other would make them the perfect first couple.

Potter's potion was almost perfect, just like the sample Miss Greengrass had handed in. No surprise there, the dunderhead had inherited the instinctive grasp of the subtle art of brewing from both sides of the family; the Potters had many a famous potion master among their ancestors, and Lily had been a veritable genius when it came to potions. Of course it wouldn't do to let the boy know; just like his father, he was already too full of himself. However, the undisciplined slob and the epitome of Pureblood grace and composure would also make good test subjects, he decided, marking Potter's sample with an "A", and the sample of Miss Greengrass with an "O".

Longbottom's sample also was close to perfect. The boy's vast knowledge of Herbology and the properties of the herbs used in brewing magical potions made him a very apt student. Of course, it wouldn't do to ever let him know that. Severus Snape had a reputation to keep among the children of the Death Eaters. He marked Longbottom's potion with an "A", and then looked for a matching partner. Miss Davis' potion wasn't far behind Longbottom's. That was perfect, Severus thought, as he marked her sample with an "E". It would be amusing to see how shy and awkward Neville Longbottom dealt with Slytherin's counterpart to Miss Brown. Something that looked like a gleeful grin flickered across his sallow features, though if one of his students had seen him that moment, they would have blamed it on the unsteady light of the candles playing tricks on their eyes: Professor Severus Snape never grinned.

As always, Weasley was on Longbottom's level. There was also no surprise there; his three oldest brothers had been top potions students, and the twins were veritable geniuses when it came to potions. Of course, he wouldn't ever let those two menaces know that. They disgraced the subtle art of brewing by using it as a tool for their foolish and sometimes cruel pranks.

There was only one student on the same, high level left: Miss Parkinson. Severus didn't have to do a detailed analysis of the sample she had handed in: one look told him that she had brewed a very potent potion. Yes, it would be fun to see the red-headed idiot pining for Miss Parkinson. The reaction of the Pureblood snob to who she deemed to be a Bloodtraiter would also be rather entertaining, he was sure.

That left him with the potions of the mediocre students of the year: Miss Roper, Miss Patil, Miss Brown, Mr. Nott, Mr. Zabini and Mr. Thomas had all managed to hand in samples that were within the passing grades, but didn't reach the quality of the work of their classmates. Still in a generous mood about his genial pairing of Longbottom and Davis, he awarded them all an "A", and then paired off Miss Roper with Mr. Thomas, Mr. Nott with Miss Brown, and finally Mr. Zabini with Miss Patil. While no Death Eaters, the Ropers were staunch Pureblood Supremacists. Miss Roper's reaction to a Muggleborn would be - interesting. While not as shy as Longbottom, Mr. Nott was a very reticent boy. His reaction to the ever gossiping Miss Brown would also be entertaining. Mr. Zabini and Miss Patil each were too infatuated with themselves to fall in love, he thought, and wondered if the potion would be capable to overcome that.

There were only two samples left, and Severus examined them with a sigh: they both looked as if they had to be hammered out of the cauldron with a chisel, and were clearly beyond the passing grades, though probably not lethal like the samples of the two trolls. He marked both samples with a "D", and then paired Miss Bulstrode with Mr. Finnegan. He would be surprised if their samples caused any effect at all.

He looked at the eight matches he had created, and a feeling of dread settled in his stomach.

'Lefty,' he called.

An ancient looking house elf, clad in a pristine tea towel with the Hogwarts crest embroidered on it, appeared with a resounding CRACK.

'Master Potions Poff-esser', it bowed.

Severus motioned with his stained fingers to the potions samples on his desk. 'Please, make sure that the samples are given to the recipient I've written on the label without anyone noticing it. After that, inform Madam Pomfrey and the headmaster that the testing phase has begun.'

The elf bowed again, gathered the samples, and vanished with another CRACK.

-ooOOOoo-

At lunchtime, Albus Dumbledore leaned forward in his chair to look at Severus past Minerva McGonagall. 'The testing phase has begun, I've been told?' he asked with the irrepressible twinkle in his eyes. Really, it was about time someone bought that man a pair of decent glasses, Severus thought with an inward huff.

Aloud he said, 'I instructed the house elves to feed them the potions today at lunch. That gives us the whole weekend for the potion to wear off, and hopefully things will be back to normal on Monday morning.'

As a rule, most students - except some N.E.W.T. students - had no classes on Friday afternoons, to give them time to complete their homework. Of course, as good as none of the dunderheads ever used that time for the intended purpose, but…

'Hem, hem!'

Severus gave the toad-like, squat woman beside him a look of utter loathing. 'Is there something you want to address, Dolores?'

'I wonder why you never thought of informing the staff about your curriculum. I doubt that the Ministry is sanctioning such a frivolous topic,' she simpered.

'Then let me correct you, Dolores. Actually, it was the Head of the Department of Magical Education who demanded of me - under the threat of my dismissal - to re-install that part of the curriculum. It is my understanding that this special topic had been made a mandatory part of the curriculum in 1721, but has been forgotten since somewhere in the late nineteenth century. The Department of Magical Education saw it fit to remind me, rather strongly, of that omission. I had no choice in the matter. As for not informing the staff…' He paused, and raised his goblet to his mouth for better effect, but also to rinse away the bad taste having to talk to that woman always left him. 'Had you chosen to attend the last preparatory meeting before the beginning of the school year, as it is mandatory for each member of staff, you would have known everything about that topic. Also, I informed the headmaster of the beginning of the testing phase, as protocol demands.'

As he had expected, that shut the toad up. With a withering glance at him, she picked up her cutlery, and dissected the lamb chops on her plate with more force than necessary.

Severus didn't allow himself to show the glee he felt. Instead, he began observing the four house tables, his focus trained solely on the Gryffindor and Slytherin fifth years.

As a rule, a lot of hostile glances were exchanged between the Gryffindor fifth years and their Slytherin counterparts. However, not all students were involved in that game. The mutual loathing was mostly limited to the male members of the two houses, with Malfoy and Potter being the most vociferous about it. No surprise there; young males tended to engage into territorial fights all the time, and these fights usually were worst among the residing alpha males, in this case Potter and Malfoy. Granger was drawn into the fights by default; it was a side effect of her close friendship to Potter and Weasley. As far as he knew, she had never started a fight of her own. That could not be said about Miss Parkinson and Miss Bulstrode, who both never missed an opportunity to sneer at Potter, Weasley and Granger. The rest of the girls of the two houses kept out of the fight. In fact, he was sure they got along rather well when their classmates weren't looking.

Today, however, things were different. For once, the male members of the two houses weren't engaged in trading dark looks. No, it seems they had something else on their mind. The light snigger that came from Filius Flitwick's direction convinced Severus that his eyes weren't deceiving him. All boys, with the exception of Crabbe and Goyle, suddenly seemed to be fascinated with the girls from the opposite houses. Of course, the two trolls were too occupied with stuffing their faces than to realize what was going on with their classmates.

Severus pulled out his notebook and made a checkmark behind the names of all girls on the sheet he had prepared for evaluating the potency of the potions. To his amazement, even Miss Bulstrode potion had passed the first stage: arousing the interest of the intended. She must be better at potions as he had given her credit for until now.

Out of the eight boys, only seven had passed that first stage: Miss Bulstrode was pretty oblivious to the puppy dog eyes Finnegan gave her. No surprise there, Severus thought as he wrote a zero behind Finnegan's name.

From the corner of his eyes he saw how Dumbledore cast a silent undetectable long distance Listening-In-Charm on the students under love potions: his favourite charm when he wanted to hear about what the students were talking, but had no portraits or ghosts in the vicinity. At least the old coot had the decency to let the rest of the staff listen in, too.

The meal was coming to an end, and the first students were leaving the Great Hall. The staff, however, kept rooted to their places.

Malfoy was the first one to pluck up his courage. So much for the brave Gryffindors, Severus thought with an inward sneer as he watched the blond boy walking to Granger.

'What do you want, Malfoy?' Weasley barked as soon as the Slytherin had reached the Gryffindor table.

'That's not of your concern, Weasel,' Malfoy spat, and turned his back on a sputtering Weasley, whose ears became an alarming shade of red within the blink of an eye.

'Granger … Hermione,' Malfoy began, and only someone who knew his Slytherins as intimately as Severus could detect the nervousness in his voice. 'I was wondering if you have already started on the Arithmancy homework Professor Vector gave us yesterday.'

At the teacher's table, Professor Septima Vector let out a long groan. 'That's one of the worst pick-up lines I've ever heard, and unfortunately I've had to hear a lot of them during my time.'

'But nevertheless effective,' Pomona Sprout giggled, her eyes never straying from the small drama that unfolded at the Gryffindor table.

Granger pushed a strand of her long, bushy hair behind one ear and gave the blond Slytherin a coy glance from under her eyelashes. 'Not yet,' Severus heard her say. 'I was planning to start on it this afternoon, actually.'

'Uhm - would you mind working on it together?' Malfoy asked, his voice actually cracking as he finished the sentence.

'I'd love to,' Granger replied, standing up from her seat and gathering her bookbag.

Together, one of the most unlikely couples that had ever graced the halls of Hogwarts walked to the tall doors that led out of the Great Hall, not heeding the incredulous stares and whispers of their classmates that followed them. Severus almost rubbed his eyes: there was unmistakably a spring in Malfoy's step as he walked his conquest out of the Great Hall.

'Di - did you seen that, mate?' The colour of Weasley's face had become an unbecoming shade of puce that clashed violently with his ginger hair. Severus saw how Madam Pomfrey watched the lanky boy with concern: probably she was afraid that he would become apoplectic.

As it was to be expected, Potter, the recipient of Wesley's question, had been completely oblivious to what went on right under his nose. To be fair, the boy seemed to be rather distracted by exchanging surreptitious smiles with a certain Miss Greengrass across the house tables.

Miss Greengrass stood up and walked towards the door, as always accompanied by her best friend, Miss Davis.

'I need to go to the library to look up some additional information for my Potions essay, Tracey,' she said, loud enough for Potter to hear. To make sure that he understood, she turned around a last time and smiled at him.

Admittedly, Potter was daft, even infuriatingly so. Yet even he was not daft enough to miss the invitation in that smile. He scrambled to his feet, grabbing his backpack, and walked towards the door with long strides.

'Sorry, Ron, I forgot I still have to finish my Transfiguration essay. See you in a few,' he called over his shoulder, thus missing the triumphant smile on Miss Greengrass face, who waited beside the doors to make sure that her message had been understood. Neither did he notice the secret messages that were passed between Longbottom and Miss Davis.

The eyes seemed to bulge out of the head of the shy Gryffindor when the bubbly Slytherin smiled and batted her eyelashes at him, while she waited for her blonde friend. However, he did the House of Gryffindor honour when a determined expression flickered across his face, and he grabbed his bookbag and followed his raven-haired classmate.

'Wait, Harry, I'll come with you.'

Weasley watched his best friend leaving the Great Hall with Longbottom in tow, a puzzled frown on his face.

'Mental, both of them,' he could be heard muttering. He shrugged his shoulders and turned back to the table. Lunchtime was not yet over, and the elves had refilled the plates for the students who decided to go to lunch on the last minute. Weasley gave the plates a wistful look, and then came to the conclusion that he deserved a third helping after his friends had deserted him - or was it a fourth or even a fifth? Severus never bothered to keep up: the table manners of the ginger headed glutton were nauseating.

Thankfully, he was saved to watch another display of outrageous table manners by Miss Parkinson. She sat down on the seat Potter had vacated not even a minute ago, and smiled sweetly at the lanky boy.

Weasley forgot all about the lamb chops he was about to ladle on his plate. A deep blush crept over his face.

'What do you want, Parkinson?' he asked. It actually sounded polite.

Miss Parkinson smiled up at him, and put her hand on his arm. Severus noticed that for once it seemed to be a genuine smile that had nothing in common with the simper she used to give Malfoy.

The lanky Gryffindor let out a choked noise as he felt her hand on his arm.

Poppy Pomfrey rose a notch from her chair at that, the concerned expression on her face becoming more pronounced.

'I've heard you are a chess champion,' Parkinson began.

Weasley looked flattered.

'I'm not bad at chess myself, and I've wondered if you'd like to play a game with me. No one in Slytherin plays up to my standard, and I'd like a new - challenge,' Miss Parkinson chirped, letting her hand trail along Weasley's arm.

The poor bloke didn't stand a chance under the influence of the rather strong potion Miss Parkinson had brewed. Severus actually felt something akin to compassion as Weasley, his eyes almost bulging out of his skull, could only nod mutely to her offer.

The young couple didn't notice the choked chuckles that came from the teacher's table, or the incredulous looks they got from their classmates who were still in the hall: Mr. Nott, Mr. Zabini, Miss Bulstrode and Miss Roper from Slytherin, and Mr. Finnegan, Mr. Thomas, Miss Brown and Miss Patil from Gryffindor.

Miss Roper and Miss Bulstrode had finished their meal, and now stood up and walked out of the Great Hall together.

Finnegan, who hadn't let Miss Bulstrode out of his eyes once ever he had been administered the potion, sprang to his feet and followed them.

His best friend called something after him, but when he paid no heed, Thomas also stood up and walked towards the door, albeit at a slower pace.

Finnegan almost collided with Miss Bulstrode at the doors.

'Oi, Bulstrode, fancy a walk around the lake with me?' he shouted.

The masculine looking girl whirled around, an expression of loathing and fury on her face.

Finnegan didn't notice the danger he was in: he kept looking at her with a goofy smile on his face.

Miss Bulstrode towered over Finnegan, murder in her eyes. She was at least five inches taller than him, and also at least five stones heavier. Severus closed his eyes as she lunged out at him. He didn't need to see that.

When he opened his eyes again, the five fingers of Miss Bulstrode's hand were imprinted on Finnegan's left cheek in a flaming red, while the tails of Miss Bulstrode robes could be seen vanishing through the doors.

'I guess that means no,' Filius Flitwick chuckled.

'Millicent, wait,' Finnegan shouted, and hurried out of the Great Hall in hot pursuit of Miss Bulstrode. All Severus could do was hoping he would never catch up with her: Miss Bulstrode initial reaction didn't bode well for Finnegan's health.

Miss Roper and Thomas had watched the fight between their friends with wide eyes, both too surprised by the drama unfolding in front of them as quick as a firestorm. They shared an uneasy glance, the shock still evident on both of their faces.

Then something seemed to burst within Miss Roper. She made a strange, whimpering noise, and her face crumpled up. The next second she doubled over, clutching her sides with her hands, and howled with laughter. Thomas didn't fare any better. Supporting each other, the two staggered out of the Great Hall and slumped down on the lowest step of the Moving Staircase, still laughing like crazy.

Severus had almost forgot about the remaining two potential couples while he watched Miss Roper and Thomas. They now also made their way out of the Great Hall, meeting at the door by accident. He didn't trust his ears as he heard the two Slytherin boys asking the girls - rather respectfully - to accompany them on a walk around the Black Lake.

'Seven out of eight, that's not bad,' Albus voice interrupted his thoughts as he watched the last two couples leaving the Great Hall.

'It's indecent,' Dolores Umbridge raged. 'I'll make sure Minister Fudge will hear of this … this procuration.'

'Of course you are free to tell him, Dolores,' Albus replied. 'But you forget that Severus was forced by the Ministry to act this way, based on an ancient Ministry decree. Also, none of what we saw would have happened if there wasn't some genuine attraction between the young couples, however unlikely they may seem to us. In fact, Severus has chosen the couples with the thought in mind that they are most likely no match.'

Severus could only nod at that, while Dolores Umbridge huffed.

'Well, I'd say if you're ever dismissed from your current position, you have a promising career as a matchmaker ahead of you, Severus,' Filius Flitwick giggled.

Severus gave him a withering glance as he got up from his chair, then turned around and walked out of the Great Hall, his robes billowing.

He never noticed how Minerva McGonagall raised her wand and conjured a pair of cupid's wings that attached themselves to his shoulders.

The End?

Author's Notes: As much as I'd like to continue this story, I haven't come up with any ideas how to do so. Maybe the muses will hit me one day, but I'm not counting on it. So, don't hold your breath for this story to be continued.