Written for Tales of Symphonia Week 2017 on tumblr.

Oct. 12th - Judgment

"We could always go back to Luin," Kratos said.

It was a request that he just said out of the blue, picked out from a passing comment that Anna had once spoken aloud. I was born in Luin, she had told him through the bars, hand placed over the base of her throat as if in shame. She had been so thin, the flesh hanging off her bones, and always shut off from the sun. A ghost dressed in rags.

She was so much different now. Months outside had colored her skin a light tan. Her muscles were more well-defined, a feature he could not help but notice when she helped him gather the firewood for their camp. It was something she insisted she should do, even when he assured her he had everything handled.

But that was one thing about Anna, stubborn to a fault. And so it was "No," that she answered him with, emphatic in her response.

They stood on the port at Palmacosta, the sea breeze filled with the strong taste of heavy salt. It was not always pleasant, and so was one sense that Kratos decided to turn off. Granted, this made their current errand for today a little difficult.

"Here, try this!" Anna was shoving a cut piece of a pomegranate into his mouth, giving him little time to readjust his senses. The fruit vendor was enthusiastically holding up a tray of the samples to other prospective customers. Safe to say, compared to the fish and Gel stalls, business was booming.

Kratos swallowed the fruit piece immediately, feeling the texture but nothing else. "Um. It's… filling," he came up with.

Anna frowned disapprovingly. "Again?"

"You didn't give me enough time."

She waved his explanation away. As she turned back to the fruit vendor, Kratos had to make do with standing around awkwardly. Not that he wasn't used to crowds, or tasks that consisted simply of shopping. But these were different circumstances, and he had to keep a hand near the hilt of his sword to feel in control.

Anna made sure to reprimand him once they had left the port. "You don't need to rattle your sword so much. People can tell you're being nervous."

"Just being alert."

"We can relax for one day," she suggested. A paper bag, filled to the brim with various fruits, was cradled in her arms. She refused any help from him to carry it.

Kratos understood what she meant, but it was advice he could not take to heart. He helped her up the inn's steep steps once they made it through the city, despite her protests. He opened the door to their room, and retrieved the bag from her arms before she could set it down on the counter.

With a little huff of annoyance, she sat herself on the bed, looking on Kratos with disapproval.

"If you strain yourself too much," he countered before she could say a word. "It can have an adverse effect."

"I am taking care of myself just fine, thank you."

Kratos had to restrain the urge to smile at her pout. "Let me worry over you. It will help set my nerves at ease."

"Now isn't that a bit of a contradicting sentence?"

He sat down next to her, keeping his weapon strapped on. She sighed, noticing it.

"Are you going to sleep with that thing on?"

"I have done so before with no trouble."

"That wasn't the point I was making."

She made a small reflex, one he knew wasn't conscious. Her hand went to rub her stomach, where a barely noticeable bump pressed against her shirt. Not in pain, not in distress. But as a reminder.

"Keeping the both of you safe is all that matters to me," he told her. "I don't want to make another error in judgment again."

Anna said nothing, instead laying her head against his shoulder. It was at this moment that Kratos made sure all his senses were back on course; feeling the warmth of her side, and catching the scent of her hair.

"You have made none that I am aware of," she told him. The collar of her shirt moved, and with a furtive glance, Kratos saw the gleam of her Exsphere. It looked painful embedded in her skin, but she had never made any complaint. He wished he had had the forethought to get her the right key crest before their runaway mission, but some past mistakes could not be fixed.

She saw where his eyes had focused on, and placed her hand over the Exsphere. "Hindsight does not count."

She truly was stubborn like that. He would make no argument.

Still, "Why would you not want to go back to Luin?"

There was a commonality between them; the habit to keep silent when unpleasant thoughts came to the forefront. He saw her press her lips together, as if to stop any betraying words from spilling out. Yet he waited for her, carefully wrapping an arm around her side, bringing her in close. The sword hilt stayed between them, and perhaps it was fitting that such a reminder stayed there, this side of him that could not be put to rest – at least not yet.

He sensed amusement in her voice. "I'm not made of porcelain, Kratos."

"One can never be too careful."

She laughed, and it was a sound that fed into his ears like wine, drowning out the poison that had sat inside his head for more than a millennia.

Once her mirth ended, she explained. "I left my family on bad terms. And ended up… where I was." Her hand went back to her stomach. "I do not want to offer up explanations, and would rather focus on the here and now." She then turned to face him. "And that includes enjoying ourselves without wondering when a knife will end up in our backs."

Though Kratos had a million reasons as to why they should stay alert, they crumbled at the sight of her brown eyes. "Well… we did enjoy ourselves today, didn't we?"

"If shopping for groceries is your idea of fun, Kratos, that is something we will have to fix."

It prompted a laugh out of him. It had been months since any signs from Cruxis. Perhaps he really could just take it easy?

"Then let's go out again tonight. By the beach." He squeezed her hand, mindful of the lilt in his voice just then. It was hard to control that around her. His long span of years before meeting her had not prepared him at all. "And I won't scout the area this time."

"Yes, because you've already done so, haven't you?" she said, teasingly. She had heard the note in his voice as well, but made no other comment. "And before you ask, you can bring your sword. Besides, it can be helpful for when we want to spear some fish for dinner."

Kratos blinked. "The metal would rust if I-"

"I'm joking!" She pushed him slightly. "Now let's go before you change your mind."

There were no assassins in the shadows that night. Though he extended his hearing to beyond the beach's shore to past the city gates, he let himself relax. He let himself enjoy the moment with her, standing underneath the stars that he had already counted a thousand times.

And though he worried constantly, she convinced him to hug her, to lay his hands on her stomach as the sand covered their feet. She was stubborn like that, right to the very end.

"Colette, you sure you got that?"

"Oh! I'm fine!" She walked with Lloyd down the port, holding the paper bag in her arms, filled with an assortment of her favorite fruits, along with a few gels Lloyd had picked. "I don't find it heavy at all!"

"Not that," Lloyd reassured. "Just you usually-"

"Aah!"

"Colette!"

Kratos' eyebrows twitched as he saw Colette's foot get stuck in a crack on the sidewalk. While Lloyd had caught her before she met with the pavement, their groceries were not quite so lucky. Standing a bit away by the inn, the mercenary could do nothing but watch as all their bought items scattered across the ground.

"Oh no, I messed up…"

"Ah, it's fine. The food is probably still good!"

Colette smiled more than Anna did, and her eyes were of bright blue instead of gentle brown, but the familiarity of her and Lloyd together prodded a memory deep within him. One that was full of cobwebs and shoved to the side, too precious to even repeat.

He could not help but be glad that the boy still wore his swords, even when walking around the port for something as simple as a grocery trip. Despite the weight of his weapons, they remained strapped to his waist as he helped Colette pick up the ruined fruit.

"That one's all smashed up…" Colette said of a certain apple.

"That's okay. Maybe Genis can make applesauce out of this or something."

However, even with weapons nearby, Kratos could not still his heart. Both children conversed among themselves, so wrapped up in the other. Lloyd's comments summoned a smile from Colette, until both were laughing as they retrieved what they could from the ground. Neither looked at their surroundings. A man had just sidled near the Chosen, hand upraised to avoid an accidental bump as he passed by. Yet if that had been an enemy, that same hand could have very easily held a knife to the Chosen's throat. Lloyd had barely reacted to the near encounter.

Were the training sessions having any effect at all?

He stopped Lloyd before he entered the inn, the groceries now in the hands of a very disappointed Genis while Colette gave her apologies. The boy turned to him, his hands lax, with only the mildest of irritation that crossed his face. "Kratos? What's wrong?"

"Do you know how many people were at the port today?"

Lloyd stared. "…Huh?"

"Answer this, then. When you went with the Chosen, how many stall vendors were there? Were the sailors setting up for travel or were they docking their ship?"

Lloyd continued to look very lost.

Kratos sighed. "What food were the vendors selling specifically?"

"Oh, that's easy! Fruit! Um, the cantaloupe stuff mostly."

"Good. What else?"

"Uh…" Lloyd scratched his head. "Fish?... I… I think a steak, probably."

Kratos stopped him before he could flounder any more. "You were not paying attention."

"Yes, I was! Just, I don't need to count every person there!"

"If you want to be at least a somewhat competent guard for the Chosen, you need to understand where you are, and the danger she is always in. Or was the assassin we ran into earlier not enough of a reminder?"

The annoyance in Lloyd's eyes instantly turned to shame. He looked away, fists clenched. But those hands stayed near the hilt of his swords, in easy reach of them. "That's why I went with Colette to the port today. To protect her."

No. You went with her because you want to be around her always. Even during the simplest of errands or tasks. But Kratos said nothing of the sort to Lloyd. He didn't want to imply that such reasons were wrong, for they were anything but. Still, he wanted the boy to learn caution.

"When you travel to Iselia every morning, are you ever caught off guard by wandering monsters?"

"Uh." Lloyd, surprised by the sudden change of topic, struggled for an answer. "Not often. I get rid of them easily enough."

"Has one attacked you from behind?"

Another struggle. "I… I guess so? It's not a big deal. The monsters there aren't very strong."

"Because they are not a human with malicious intent," Kratos emphasized. "They do not hold a knife that could be poisoned, that aims to kill you in the first blow."

With that explanation, he finally saw the gears working in Lloyd's head.

"Do not make an error in judgment. Understand?"

"I…" Lloyd's eyes strayed to the inn, where Colette had disappeared into. Then back to Kratos. "Yeah, I understand. I'll be more careful."

Kratos nodded. "We'll have our lesson in the main plaza around sundown. Be ready by then."

"Right!"

Kratos still fiddled with his senses nowadays. With his hearing, he sensed the others voices through the door once Llod went inside. There was that soft lilt of excitement from Lloyd's when Colette answered him. There was talk about Genis' work on the fruit platter he was making (along with grumbling about ruined ingredients from the child), and there was the sound of the sea that washed over the entire city.

"The beach here is different from the one back home!" he heard Colette say. "At least, from what you tell me, I mean."

"Yeah. Maybe we can check it out later?" Lloyd suggested, and there was that same lilt again. Familiar. Too much so. Perhaps it was hereditary. "If you're not too tired or anything."

Kratos didn't need to eavesdrop further to know that Colette would say yes. It would be after the training session, meaning the sky would be dark by then, and both Lloyd and Colette would have to venture past the city gates to do so.

Perhaps he would need to remind Lloyd again. But the boy, as far as he had observed, never ventured anywhere without his swords.

Careful to not bring your sword with you to bed, or you'll risk stabbing us both. She had said so back then, as a joke. The compromise had been for him to just leave his weapon by the bedpost, to lay by her side, and keep his eyes open all night. She had always insisted that he let himself fall to slumber with her, to finally dream again. But each night, he would quietly refuse.

He raised his eyes skyward, watching the clouds become tinged with gold and pink. The taste of the sea was carried by the wind. Against his tongue, it was bitter and strong.

In all this time, he had never set foot in Luin.

Stubborn to the end.