Plagg never told him how much it would hurt without the suit.

They had been at this for so long that he took for granted just how much his leather-slick second skin absorbed. He was Chat Noir, savior of Paris, righter of wrongs and fearless defender

except when he wasn't.

Sometimes when he lay awake at night Adrien could still hear Ladybug's screams as the akuma's claws sank deep, deep, deep into his shoulders and remember the phantom pain even her miraculous couldn't cure.

She wore red much better than he ever could.

But as he lay bleeding out on the cobbled path of the Left Bank with Ladybug's curses and Plagg's damn you, kid ringing in his ears, sure in the truth that he was going to die and just as sure that she would bring him back, Adrien let their admonishments roll over him like waves.

Dying for her was like an old song, one that vibrated through him like the strings of a violin. From his veins to his toes to his ears every part of him that was Chat Noir and every part that wasn't was a symphony of devotion to her. Like a soldier follows their general, like a lover follows their hands

Adrien could and would think of a thousand ways to tell her she mattered but on days like this his tongue was weak, his fear was strong, and sometimes Plagg was just too slow.

Could she really expect Adrien Agreste to stand by while Chat Noir recovered?

Call it a gut feline but it sounds like you could use a little help.

And when it was done, when the akuma was purified, when a million magical insects surrounded him and the streets and Paris, he could feel her arms around him, crushing and punishing and so, so, angry that he could only smile.

"You stupid boy. You stupid, stupid boy."

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Ladybug visited him that night.

Or rather, she visited the rooftop across from him. He caught her silhouetted against the city lights as she kept her silent vigil. A statue amongst the chimney tops, he could read indecision in her shoulders like words on a page.

Adrien felt pulled towards her but he didn't dare disturb Plagg. After berating his charge for the better part of an hour he collapsed into a disgruntled pile of exhaustion in an unreachable corner and hadn't moved since. Adrien had a sinking feeling it would take more than camembert to fix the rift he had cataclysmed between them.

He continued watching from the window as his partner stood unmoving for a few minutes more before shaking her head and yo-yoing off into the night.

The stalemate continued for two days before Chat Noir stepped in.

Catching up with her on the beams of the Eiffel Tower, Ladybug was a red and black ornament staring down at the lights of a city that knew darkness and none of its consequences.

"What if I can't save them all, Chat?"

"The best we can do is try," He said and the way she smiled told him he was wrong.

But she didn't stop him when he sat down beside her and it felt like breathing when she moved closer to lay her head on his shoulder.

"I'm not strong all the time," She said and Chat thought of the way Ladybug screamed when Adrien Agreste leapt in front of her.

"You don't have to be."

"You don't have to be."

There was something in her voice, an echo of fear and frustration and pain that told him his time for secrets was over. He slammed that door closed the same way he'd been slammed into the pavement.

"I'm sorry," He said, to say anything.

"But you're not," She sighed, pulling away because she knew.

"No," Chat wrapped his arms around himself to make up for her distance. "And I'm sorry about that too."

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It was all over the Ladyblog.

Of course it was. Alya Cesaire would never find herself on the wrong end of a scoop and although she hadn't been on the scene when Chat Noir disappeared she and her camera were far too present by the time Adrien made his appearance.

It was his worst nightmare.

All weekend long Nathalie had been fielding calls from hungry newspapers, radio stations, and talk shows alike that wanted a piece of the most recent akuma attack and the civilian that saved Ladybug.

His father was not pleased.

And if Adrien thought he would find any respite at school that illusion was quickly shattered when he heard Alya's excited voice carry out over the clamoring of his classmates and into the hall.

"Did you see the way he just dove in front of her like that?"

Adrien stood half-frozen in the classroom's doorway, unwilling to enter, unable to turn around and flee.

"I didn't think Adrien could move that fast!"

"It wasn't that fast."

"Shut up, Kim." Alix said. "You're just jealous because you've never saved a superhero yourself."

Rose sighed. "Well I think it was romantic."

"What about you girl?" Alya grinned, nudging Marinette's side with her elbow. "What do you think about Prince Charming's new savior status?"

Marinette caught Adrien's eyes as he finally entered the classroom.

"I think it was incredibly stupid."

Her answer was mostly drowned out by the others but Adrien couldn't look away from Marinette. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd been on the receiving end of her scowls but there was something about disappointing her that made him ashamed in a way that all of Nathalie's proxy parenting never could.

"I'm sorry," He said, but whether it was to her, to Alya's probing questions, or to himself he did not know.

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Plagg was furious with him.

His kwami was lazy enough on his best days but it wasn't until his reckless superhero debut as Adrien that he really understood the term passive aggressive.

He was getting very used to waking up with mushed camembert in his bedsheets.

But that wasn't even the worst of it.

Adrien didn't know how much he'd miss Plagg's complaining until it was gone. The little god hadn't said a word to him in days.

"Give him time," Ladybug said as they wound down their latest patrol. After an evening of half-started conversations and prolonged silence Chat was at his wit's end.

"It's been two weeks."

"Tikki said Plagg's been known to hold grudges for decades."

"Fantastic."

She frowned, her hand hovering at her waist above her yoyo. "What did you expect, Chat? You could have been killed."

"I wasn't!"

"You were."

Chat stared at his partner as she avoided his gaze. His stomach sank.

"You're mad at me too."

She sighed and it was as good as an admission.

"I don't want to fight with you, Chat."

He was suddenly very, very angry.

"What the hell was I supposed to do?" He snapped. "Let you take the hit? He would have sliced you open the same way he got me and then where would we be?"

She didn't say anything so he continued.

"You're the one who can fix everything, LB. At the end of the day, miraculous or no miraculous, my job is to protect you."

"Your job is to protect Paris." She scowled, finally turning to look at him.

"Which I did by saving you so why the fuck should I feel guilty about what happened?"

"Because you didn't give us a chance!" She snapped. "You didn't give Plagg a chance and you didn't give me a chance and you just rushed in like you always do. God Chat I'm so tired of watching you die because you don't take the time to just think."

"Excuse me?"

"What if Miraculous Ladybug didn't work, huh? What if this time I couldn't bring you back? Everything else aside, Adrien, that's a terrible thing to put on a person. And I bet if you ask your kwami he would say the same thing. He wasn't ready so you just say fuck it and go? He's probably hurt and angry and so goddamn worried that next time he won't be enough and you'll do it again!"

Oh.

Oh.

His anger fell away from him as quickly as it came only to be replaced by a gut-wrenching sense of shame.

"I didn't think about it like that," He muttered.

Ladybug watched silently as her partner seemed to shrink in on himself and sighed. She really didn't want to fight with him.

"Just… just give him time."

"And you?"

He looked up to see her worrying her bottom lip. His heart felt stone-heavy as Ladybug's miraculous gave off its first warning beep. She shook her head and unclipped her yoyo. Chat resisted the urge to scream.

Ladybug still didn't want him to know.

He laughed, but there was no joy in it. "Even now?

"I'm not the one who jumped in front of an akuma as a civilian, Chat."

God, he'd really fucked up.

He clenched his fists together to stop his hands from shaking. As she threw out her arm he said,

"I'm sorry. I just wanted you to be safe."

"I know." She looked over her shoulder and gave him a small, sad smile. "Next time try to remember that's what the rest of us want for you too."

A/N: Heyo. This is a little different than my usual stuff. It's been in my drafts for months so I finally decided to just post. Let me know what you think- there should be about three more chapters.