Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon

Summary: The last thing Phichit expected to find lying around in the woods was a slumbering Fairy Queen. A pink elephant? The forest had plenty. The Holy Grail? Run-of-the-mill. Polka-dotted school teachers with forked tongues in samba costumes? Puh-lease, those flies came over every five seconds!

A Fairy Queen, however, was a rarity.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yuri on Ice

Note: This was written for the Yuri on Ice Fantasy week 11/15/17- Day Three: Mint Green. I used two of the prompts: ''Fairy,'' and ''Mischief''. I also have entries for day 2, 3, 4, 6 and 7.

This is part of the Land of Gods and Monsters 'verse (fic 3) but can be read as a standalone.

The last thing Phichit expected to find lying around in the woods was a slumbering Fairy Queen. A pink elephant? The forest had plenty. The Holy Grail? Run-of-the-mill. Polka-dotted school teachers with forked tongues in samba costumes? Puh-lease, those flies came over every five seconds!

A Fairy Queen, however, was a rarity.

''Stop tempting fate, Phichit!'' Ciao Ciao had said when he left for greener pastures.

''Quit walking into danger headfirst, Phichit!'' Ciao Ciao had said when he stuck his head inside Cerberus' mouth to take a crystal shot of his insides.

''For the love of Yuuri, don't aggravate fairies, Phichit!'' Ciao Ciao had said, hands in his hair, staring hopelessly at the iron protections placed around them.

''You're not the boss of me~!'' Phichit had answered.

And it was true. Phaya Naga answered to nobody. They safeguarded gods and that was it. That was it- plus their hobbies. And to the werewolf's despair, Phichit relished in taking pictures and troublemaking.

Speaking of trouble making, Phichit was currently in possession of hands. His full form wasn't exactly ideal for trudging through the forest, so he'd done the polite thing and down-sized a bit. His human upper body was vulnerable compared to his scaled tail, but there was something hands were good for.

A grin stretched across his face as he crept closer, barely able to contain his excitement. Reaching out he- was grabbed by the shoulder and supplexed over her head as she sat up.

''Hello, Chu-chu!'' Twirling- was that his ring?! – she grinned.

Rubbing his head, he laughed. ''I'll get you one day, Mila!''

She reached up, straightening her flower crown. ''There's no winning from a Queen! Just accept it, but do ambush me every so often. Your attempts are adorable.''

Phichit snatched a crystal ball from his store- thank Yuuri they were still in one piece- and took a shot. ''I'll hold you to that!'' Lowering the crystal into his lap, he coiled his tail underneath him. ''But I'm here on business.''

Snorting, Mila plucked a berry from the nearby bush and popped it into her mouth. ''Sure. You. On business.''

''I'd call it my business when my treasure has been stolen by a philandering ruffian!''

Mila choked, coughed and burst out into laughter. ''Victor: The Ruffian With A Manicure. What a concept!''

Phichit's squinted. ''You didn't deny the philandering part.''

''I don't know about relationships, but I held onto that boy's glass heart for years- he certainly never gave anyone that organ before.''

That didn't reassure Phichit in the least. ''We're tracking them down. I already wrote Hiroko- she said the Fairy village could handle itself for a couple weeks.''

''You don't know Kenjirou.'' Her eyes flick in the direction he came from. ''But I should punish you for your dastardly deeds!''

With a small ''poof!'' she transformed, her body shrinking in the blink of an eye until she was no more than five centimetres tall and somersaulting through the air. Right into his hair, sitting on top of his head like it was a throne, using the strands as reins. ''You shall take me with you!''

''That's all you want?''

''Why yes, shits and giggles sound like an excellent punishment!''

''Say Queen!'' Phichit took another crystal shot for the heck of it.

''Where to?'' Mila settled comfortably against his left horn.

Winding his serpentine body through the air current, Phichit rumbled low in his chest. ''Hiroko's letter was a treasure all on its own! I quote: I'm sorry, Phichit-kun, but as Earth Mother, the heaven has forbidden me from taking sides in divine conflicts. P.S. He's in Bangkok."

''That's my Goddess!'' Hiroko's Fairy Queen spread her arms- on top of a primordial, on top of the world.

Author's Note

The songs I listened to while writing this:

Shall we Skate – Piano version.

Terra Incognita – Music box.

S&M – Rihanna (not so much the lyrics as the rhythm)

Chocolate – the 1975

This will be continued in my day six entry: Treasure Hunt!