Penny For Your Thoughts

Everyone, even if not human, deserves some happiness

[Author's note: This story takes place at the Beacon Academy dance. It ties up, in a way, with the story Weiss, Velvet, and How Jaune Got the Dress, in the collection Ice Queen in Love. Darkpenn apologises for it being such a silly story.]

"Gosh, that girl really wants to dance," said Sun, watching Penny between her two Atlas guards, with her 'team-mate' Ciel Soleil hovering.

"Not actually a girl," said Blake. "But yes, she certainly does."

"You can't help but feel a bit sorry for her," said Yang. "This is likely to be her one and only chance to have some fun before she goes back to ... wherever it is she will go back to."

"I tried to get close enough to at least say hello but the guards stood in the way," said Ruby. "Although it's Ciel who's giving the orders. I'm betting she's really some sort of super-secret agent operative from a super-secret operations agency or something."

Blake and Yang looked at her and sighed.

"But I have a plan," said Ruby.

"Oh no," said Blake.

Yang gave a painful sigh.

"Is it that bad?" said Sun.

"Always," said Blake.

"My plan involves distraction tactics, careful co-ordination, and Neptune Vasilias making a fool of himself," said Ruby.

"I'll get him," said Sun.

A few minutes later, Neptune walked up to Ciel, who was standing next to Penny.

"Salutations," said Penny to him. "My facial recognition software indicates that you are a handsome human of the male variety."

"Uh, thanks," said Neptune. He turned to Ciel. He flashed his most sparkling, twinkling smile. "I was hoping you would join me for a glass of punch," he said.

Ciel stared at him.

Sparkle twinkle sparkle.

She giggled. She wound a lock of her navy-blue hair around her finger. "I ... I'm not supposed to leave my post," she said.

"But the punch bowl is just over there," he said. "We won't even be leaving the room. And the guards will be here."

"Well, in that case ... I guess one glass of punch wouldn't hurt," she said.

He offered his arm, and with another giggle she took it and went off with him.

The two guards stared after her.

Yang went up to the guard on the right. She was carrying two drinks. "After all your hard work tonight," she said, "I thought you might need something. It's a party, after all. And Ciel has obviously decided that having one little drink is alright. I'm one of the event organisers, you know, so it's my job to make sure everyone has good time."

"Well, uh, thanks," said the guard, taking the glass.

They clinked glasses and drank. Yang drained hers.

"Oh, what a shame," she said. "All out. Will you help me get another one. Please?"

"Er, well, okay," said the guard. So Yang led him away.

"Oh brother, all that is far too slow and stupid," said Blake. She walked up to the other guard, put her arms around him, and kissed him. Her hand behind the guard's back gestured to Ruby.

Ruby pulled Penny backwards, and then guided her into the throng of party guests.

"Salutations, good friend Ruby," said Penny. "Are we having an adventure?"

"We sure are," said Ruby. "You want to dance, right?"

"Oh yes, I am programmed for several types of enjoyment, including rhythmic movement to music," said Penny.

"And here is someone who is also a ... person who does that," said Ruby, as she pushed Penny into Sun's arms. He guided her out onto the dance floor.

Yang joined Ruby. "What happened to your Atlas guy?" said Ruby.

"I left him to the not-so-tender mercies of Team NDGO at the bar," said Yang. "I can only say that it's a good thing he's armed."

Blake came up to them.

"Lipstick needs repairing," said Yang to her.

"Uh, what? Oh, right, yeah," said Blake. "Lipstick. Heh. You know, Ruby, that was not a bad plan of yours."

"Of course," said Ruby.

On the dance floor, Sun was finding that Penny was an exceptionally good dancer. Then, to his surprise, they bumped into Neptune, who was doing his best – within the context of his complete inability to dance – to dance with Ciel.

"Help me," he whispered to Sun. "I have no idea what I'm doing, but she insisted."

"Twirl her," said Sun. "Like this."

He twirled Penny, who gave a robot yelp of delight as she spiralled out of and then back into his arms.

Neptune tried to twirl Ciel. But he had not realised that he was supposed to hold on. Ciel went spinning off into the crowd.

"Not exactly what I meant," said Sun.

Neptune gave a sigh of relief. "No longer my problem," he said.

And, indeed, in a few moments Ciel emerged from the crowd onto the dance floor, in the arms of Cardin Winchester.

"Made for each other, I think," said Neptune. Then he ran off.

Penny and Sun continued to dance – and then they saw Weiss dancing with Velvet. They went over to them.

"Greetings, Miss Queen and faunus whom I have not met," said Penny. "My, there is a high level of sexual attraction between you two, judging from the pheromone output. Does it have anything to do with you currently wearing male clothing, Miss Queen?"

"It's complicated," said Weiss. "You see, Jaune ... oh, forget it. As for the other thing, well, yes. But nothing to do with the outfit. Just ... attraction."

"Oh yeah," said Velvet.

"And just what is going on here?" said a stern voice. Ironwood.

"Salutations, General!" said Penny, saluting. "I am experiencing enjoyment through rhythmic movement to music."

"Well, stop it," said General Ironwood.

Sun suddenly realised why General Ironwood was there – that is, on the dance floor. He was dancing with Glynda Goodwitch. It looked as if it was not the first time they had done it.

"James," said Glynda. "It's a party. You can stop being a ... general. For one evening, at least."

"Humph," said General Ironwood. "I set guards specifically to stop this from happening."

"Penny is a very good dancer," said Sun. "Which means she must have been programmed for it. Which means that it must be something she is supposed to do. Right?"

"In fact, you were the one responsible for her programming, weren't you, James?" added Glynda. "And – I have to ask – Weiss, why are you wearing a man's suit?"

"Jaune," said Weiss.

"Ah," said Glynda.

General Ironwood was considering the programming thing. "It's a glitch, probably," he said eventually. "Unexpected and improbable."

"As many good things are," said Weiss, looking at Velvet.

"I suppose ... I can look the other way ... just this once," said General Ironwood. "For just a little while."

"There, that isn't so hard, is it?" said Glynda.

"Actually, it is," he said.

Glynda smiled, and resumed dancing, guiding him away.

The music stopped.

Sun looked around. Weiss and Velvet were engaged in a very serious kiss.

Blake, lipstick repaired, and Sage Ayana came up to them as another song began.

"May I have this dance?" said Sage to Penny.

"You may, Team SSSN member whose name I do not know!" said Penny, stepping into his arms.

Blake and Sun began to dance as well.

"This," said Blake, "is a really stupid story. But for once a Ruby plan actually worked and no-one got killed. So I guess we can put it down as happy ending."

"Sure," said Sun. "Happy ending it is."

END