I'm back! This time, me and my buddy BBQ teamed up to make one of our best works. We are very proud of this, so... Hope you enjoy.
Light gusts of humid wind brushed past the bare shoulder of Marco, who was walking toward a group. Feeling his own heart rattle and ache with pain, Marco's mind was a pure blur of emotions. The calming touch of his friend Kelly somewhat eased the nerves, each of them sharing understanding smiles. Looking around, various couples were packing up after the big SoulRise just ended. One such couple, was Star and Tom.
Kelly could feel the pain radiating off Marco. She looked at Star, who was laughing at something Tom was saying. Her normally joyful expression was sour, feeling some annoyance toward Star. Taking in a deep breath, she gently pushed Marco forward. "What are you…"
"Come on, can't keep the 'lovely' couple waiting, now can we?" She tried to joke, but it felt strained. Marco only sighed, nodding in agreement. Star noticed Marco, waving hello. Her expression was pure happiness, as if nothing happened minutes ago. She ran up to the duo, jumping in place.
"You guys saw the big fire boom thingy? It was sick!" Star shouted, mainly directly at Marco. His face was one of utter confliction and aloofness, something Star picked up on. It seemed like something had changed about Marco, like he was suddenly really bothered by something. She couldn't figure out what that could have been. "Uh, Marco? You okay?"
"I feel horrible…" Marco said within his mind, but he plastered on a fake smile to be reassuring. "I'm good, just ready to head home, I guess." He looked at Tom, eying the torn up hoodie. He genuinely liked Tom, but something about seeing him in that hoodie left him frustrated and for a moment he failed to conceal that. "You had fun man?"
Tom studied Marco's expression, instantly picking up on his annoyance. He folded his arms, having a thin smile. "It was nice. Starship and I had a great time." Tom tugged at the hoodie, feeling some sweat come down. "How do you wear these all the time?"
"Come on, don't you like my gift?" Star teased, elbowing Tom. Marco's eye twitched at the comment, taking a deep breath. Star and Tom noticed this, having confused expressions. "Uh… You sure you're okay buddy? Your eye is doing the… Twitchy thing."
Kelly stepped forward, throwing her arms around Tom and Star. "Hey, give the kid a break. He kicked Tad out of my head. They had quite the fight but his skills were on point." She turned toward Marco, giving a knowing smirk. He nodded back, folding his arms with false confidence to play-up the act. Tom grinned, eyes narrowed with playful interest. Star just blinked in confusion, clueless of the entire situation.
"Tad is surprisingly strong… Though, really, I mainly just talked with him." Marco put on a smile, but his mind was burning from a comment Tad made. 'You have dimensional scissors… But you are staying with your crush that doesn't like you back?' Marco bit his tongue to ward off the acid burning his blood. "Glad he was able to sort things out for himself, though I'm sorry the break up happened."
"It's fine. I'm just relieved that we can both part ways now." She responded back with appreciation. Star just waved her hands, shaking her head. "What's wrong girl?"
"Tad was being a jerk to you? Why didn't you ask either of us for help?!" Star nearly shouted. Tom raised his finger but he was cut off with a bitter laugh from Kelly.
"I didn't want to tell anyone, as it was my problem. You had better things to do, so I just went off to be alone. Marco followed after me and wouldn't let up until... I caved and asked for his help." Star recoiled a bit at the realization, only now considering why the two of them were gone all of this time. She wondered why she hadn't thought to look sooner... Kelly looked at Marco, eyeing his dimensional scissors. "Why don't you take us home, man?" Marco nodded, taking advantage of the situation. He went toward Star and Tom's lounging spot, folding up the blankets and picking up whatever junk was laying around. Kelly and Tom helped but Star just studied Marco. Something really was bothering him, but Star couldn't imagine what. Marco is never like this. Even on his quieter days, he never postures himself away from everyone like this. It is as if he was trying to hide something.
Tom studied Marco's face, seeing his nearly soulless eyes as he folded the colorful fabrics. "Dude, I can tell something egged you on. Do you want to talk about anything?" Marco looked up, letting his honest emotions take over. Tom's eyes blinked, seeing himself for a moment. "Wow… Something really bothered you. I know that look man."
Marco sighed, leaking out just a bit more of the feelings of hurt that he wanted to conceal. "Let's just say, I had a painful realization earlier. I'm really trying, but I'm not sure how to cope with it." Marco answered careful, putting the folded blanket between his arms. "It is really nothing to worry about… I hope." He grimaced and exhaled, picking up more objects laying around. Tom looked at Star, who was eyeing the nearly emotionless Marco. 'I think… No, he wouldn't… Would he?.' Tom closed his eyes, trying to think of those old demonic curses he cast on Marco ages ago. Some sort of shrill alarming sound rang off in his mind, making him gasp audibly. 'He… really does… and I…' Tom reached across his chest and grabbed his shoulders 'And I'm wearing this right now…' It all made sense to him, and, suddenly, Tom was also conflicted. He couldn't look his friend in the eyes anymore, and he honestly just felt awful now. 'I really am an idiot.' Tom and Kelly walked up to Star, the trio eyeing Marco as he made the rift to Mewni.
"You sure we should leave?" Star asked anxiously, getting raised eyebrows from everyone but Marco. "I mean, it's not that late and junk." The group looked at each other, having confused expressions. Star turned to Marco, biting her lip. "I figured we could have more time to hang out and…"
"No it's alright, this was more of a date for you two than anything." Marco commented casually, hiding any bile in his voice. "I mean, that Soulrise thing ended, so we should probably get back anyway. We will need our sleep, after all… it is already well past midnight now."
Star made an 'oh' sound as it hit her. They probably wouldn't get away with extending this, even she really wanted to now. She walked ahead, hiding disappointment on her face that had been absent all evening. Tom and Kelly soon followed. Marco took a deep breath before hopping in himself. Once the group arrived back at Mewni Castle, Marco let Kelly and Tom make portals to their homes. They both gave a sympathetic, almost guilty look in Tom's case, before waving goodbye. Tom said something about meeting up to talk at some point over the next couple of days, and Marco stifled a hollow, forced 'yes'. Star and Marco were alone, Star having a small smile. "That was fun! Hope we can all go again as a group."
"Yeah…" Marco answered back, emotion drained from his voice. "I'm going to get some sleep. I'm really tuckered out after tonight. See you later, Star." Marco walked off, leaving Star at the Castle Gate. She was beginning to let this feeling of worry fester. It seemed ridiculous, but she couldn't figure out what was going on with Marco. They were best friends, and yet he seemed so… distant all of a sudden.
"I will talk to him about this tomorrow. I've never saw him that… mopey before." Star commented aloud. She tried to distract herself from the concern and thought back to her kiss with Tom, feeling her name sake fluttering inside. "But that was a fun night." She ran into the castle at least a bit joyful, contrasting with the shattered mind of Marco.
Now fully alone, Marco let himself cry silently into his pillow. "Happy Birthday to me. My gift was a shattered heart. Why did he even have to say anything about it… at maybe then at least I could still be oblivious about the whole thing still." Turning over, he looked at a photo of himself and Star, posing playfully in front of the castle. "Funny, how things change." He put the picture down, turning back on his side and closing tired eyes. A loud ringing soon buzzed from his pocket, making him take out his phone in mild confusion. Looking at the screen, his heart froze at the caller I.D. Pressing 'Talk' carefully, he held the phone to his ear with shaky hands. "J-Jackie? What's wrong?"
"Happy Birthday dude!" She shouted joyfully, her sweet voice somewhat making his broken heart jump. "I know we aren't a thing, but couldn't ignore your B-Day man." Marco felt tears come down his face. The light sobbing seemingly came across the line though. "You… Are you crying? I didn't mean…"
"I really needed this. Thank you." Marco said with all his heart. Wiping tears away with his dirty hoodie, he sat up. "It's been… rough since I got here. But what about you? How are things on Earth?" Jackie was quiet on the other end for a bit, making Marco grow nervous.
"School's boring, but I totally pulled off a sick trick earlier today. I also had Janna help me free more lobsters." Marco snickered, recalling their last date together. "But I'm sure you have a ton to say about how things are going between you and Star, if you catch my drift." Jackie audibly snickered.
Her name made whatever joy in Marco's heart turn to ice. "We… we aren't a thing. Jackie. I… I came to Mewni so I could be a knight, not be…" Jackie cut him off, having some annoyance in her voice.
"Oh, don't play dumb with me. I know you like her. It's… it's the reason I broke up with you." Jackie took a deep breath, tightening her grip around the phone. "I know how much she meant to you and the moment you…"
"The moment I said 'best friend'... Yeah, you got me. You knew what was going on long before I did. I was too dense to realize it until just tonight. " Marco finished, hearing a gasp across the other line. "Funny, as friends I finally know how to read your mind." Jackie laughed softly, but a question was burning in her mind.
"So… why?" Marco laid in his bed, letting his soft pillow absorb whatever frustrations were lingering inside of him. "I mean… Star DID say she liked you before leaving Earth."
"Star's with Tom now." Jackie blinked, confused about the name. "He's that demon guy that barged into the school a year ago?" Jackie made an 'oh' sound, nodding her head. "While I was gone, Star…" Marco tried holding back his emotions but simply couldn't. "It feels like she replaced me. Tonight, Tom was wearing one of MY hoodies. And it was all torn up!" Marco's facade began to crack as he started to choke on his tears, pressing on with his lament. He didn't realize it, but he was getting louder and louder as his filter broken down. "She made me her 'squire' but only after trying to push me away into some sub-basement. I… I know she got hurt when you and I dated. But I feel… completely useless on Mewni." Marco let out a bitter laugh. "She swore that I was to be her very best friend forever… but nothing I do seems to matter anymore. I didn't believe it at first, she really must have done this out of pity. Even her parents don't respect me anymore, despite trying to save their necks months ago." His cracking voice gave way, like his next words were the weight that broke the dam to his shattering heart. "I… I don't know what I can do without her anymore. I left everything to come here and…" Marco was audibly crying at this point, "and now I realize that she just doesn't need me in her life the way I still need her." That was it. He was convulsing at the painful revelation as it left his lips for the first time. He was devastated.
Jackie felt her body shiver as empathy drove its own lump into her throat. "So, you're telling me. I let you go for no reason?" Marco was silent, unsure how to answer. "This… this isn't fair. I remember you ALWAYS dropping dates to help Star out. Even when we were together, you always gave her attention. Not to mention checking up on her after every great moment I had with you as a couple. But she has the nerve too…"
"Enough." Marco said bluntly, silencing Jackie. "I... made my bed, and now I have to lie in it. Not that I don't agree with you but… Star has a lot to deal with here and… I'm just getting in the-"
"Oh cut the crap." Jackie hissed, making Marco's eyes go wide. "I SAW how she looked at you. She must be trying to make you jealous or something. I mean, she gave Tom your HOODIE? She made you her servant? It sounds like she's manipulating you... You told me about this demon friend a while back. He's close with you, right?"
"Yeah…" Marco rubbed his temples. "But it's fine. Even if I'm not super happy, I have a place here. I reconnected with some friends and still have my Princess Marco line. So, there's some wins right?" Marco shrugged, but Jackie remained silent. "Please don't worry about me, Jackie. I'm fine here."
"You aren't." She firmly commented. "I can tell from your voice… Please, if you aren't happy, come back to Earth. Or go somewhere else. You didn't uproot your entire life to be tossed aside." Marco hung on every word Jackie said, it nearly mirrored the words Tad spoke to him.
"Thank you, but I will sort this out. I will figure things out. But… I'm here if you need a friend to talk with." Marco made a soft laugh. "I was a cruddy boyfriend but I promise I can at least be a good friend, at least to you." Jackie smiled, feeling some tears come down her face.
"I know. You need to have a killer birthday tomorrow. Promise me that you will, okay?" Marco felt some tears come down his face himself, gripping the phone tighter.
"I promise. Keep up those sick skills pro skater." Jackie snickered at the nickname, hanging up the phone. Jackie punched her bed, feeling regret come over her. Marco though, only gently put his phone down, having second thoughts about something. "If… I gave up everything, only to get hurt…"
His door creaked open, Star slowly coming out of the shadows. Marco slowly lifted his head, seeing Star's shocked face.
Star looked at Marco; his eyes were red and puffy. He looked awful, and Star was conflicted by the feelings that plagued her just a few minutes earlier. She wanted to know what was wrong, but she just didn't have the right words.
"M-Marco… What happened?" Marco looked up at Star, trying to conceal his emotions the best he could. He put on a fake grin and sat upright.
"Oh! N-Nothing at all! Just… Uh… Um... " Marco felt his head spin, sweat pouring down his face. "Come on Diaz! She faked her emotions before, so you can too!" He gave a more confident expression, seeing Star's baffled face. "I just had a call from my parents and it was a bit emotional. You know, being away from them and everything."
"Marco… I know that you were talking to Jackie. I heard a little of the conversation." Star was cautious, but she was certainly not convinced. Talking to Marco felt like disarming a bomb, but she didn't know why. "There's something seriously wrong, and you can't hide that from me. You're- You're crying, Marco. Please, tell me what's going on."
Marco bit his lip, trying to conceal the words he desperately wanted to shout. "I… I feel fine Star. Jackie's kinda mad at me for the break up still and we had a bit of a fight. But, we closed things out well and she wished me a happy birthday! It felt nice…"
Star was taken aback by her friend's words. She knew his birthday was coming up but… did it really start today? While they were at the SoulRise? Star recoiled again as she continued to wage a war in her mind. Did he miss something back home for his birthday…? It didn't matter to her though. She had to know something.
"You were talking about Mewni. You were talking about all of us. This can't be about Jackie, Marco. You've never acted like this before. Please, please just talk to me. I want to help."
"No, you don't." Marco spat, letting some annoyance come out. Star moved back, blinking at the response. "You… You have your own stuff to deal with. I'm fine. Dealing with… All this stress myself for the past few weeks. Trying to become a better squire, helping you out whenever I'm called, putting up with…" Marco bit his tongue to prevent that last word from slipping out. Star's eyes narrowed, imploring Marco to continue speaking. "...getting used to Mewni again."
Star pushed a little bit harder at this point. After all of the time he'd been here, Star was now unable to ignore the fact that Marco was hiding the truth from her. None of these excuses were enough to make her feel better… all they did was make her worry more. Her blood pressure was rising, and she began to feel a knot in her stomach.
"Marco, I just can't believe that you're telling the truth." She quivered for a moment before steeling herself to continue. "You're not yourself, and I can't stand to see you act like this. Tell me what's going on. If this is about me, I need to know."
Marco felt his body shake violently, brown orbs having difficulty meeting Star's fierce blue ones. 'Should I just tell her the truth? I mean… She blurted HER feelings out to me! But she's with Tom and they are both my friends' "… I… I… I…" He felt some raged panic come over him, moving away from Star. "You are saying I'm not myself? You've changed too, Star. When I got here, I wasn't welcomed at all and you wanted to place me in a pit far away from you."
"What do you-"
"I don't know what you want from me and what I want…" He once again bit his tongue, this time wincing at the pain.
"Marco, you're my best friend. I brought your room here and made you my squire so we could spend time together, just like we always have."
He closed his eyes, begging for the words to send her far away from him. But his brain refused to think straight. Marco clenched his fists, deciding to let his anger take over. "Best friends? BEST FRIENDS?! What best friend shouts a confession to someone taken and makes them feel confused?! I didn't know what to make of it once you ran off and I nearly died punching Toffee through the chest because I thought you DIED! I was so lost and now that I'm here, on Mewni, with you... " Marco couldn't take it anymore, standing up and glaring at Star. "...you replaced me. You REPLACED ME, STAR!" He felt all emotion, and rage, seep away. All that was left was his face covered with tears and he started bawling.
"... But I… No." Star's heart began to ache. She wasn't prepared for this. At all. She knew something was wrong, but she didn't think that it was anything like this. Everything seemed fine between them. How… how could she not have caught this sooner?
"I didn't re-replace you Marco. You're still here, aren't you? I never wanted that. I mean-" Star's voice began to crack as well as the tension began to swell. "I mean you're still here, right?" Star held back tears. She was questioning everything.
Marco felt his world crashing down; he felt broken and he made Star feel broken. Again. Trying to regain control over the situation, he straightened himself out and pulled Star into a hug. "I… I am just having a Marco moment. Okay? I-It's okay Star. Please, don't cry."
Star allowed herself to weep, and suddenly she hated herself for it. She hadn't meant to make this about her, but she went out of her way to press Marco about him and now here he was trying to make her feel better… again.
"NO. Marco." Star practically screamed "It's not okay. Marco I'm… I'm SO sorry." Star began to convulse and tears began to fall at an alarming rate. Everything felt wrong. She still didn't quite know what was going on, but it just didn't matter. She thought everything was okay, but here Marco was crying his eyes out over something that she did. She felt sick to her stomach.
"You're tearing yourself up because of me and now you're the one trying to comfort me?" Star lost herself for a moment in the rarest agony that she had ever felt. "I'm so stupid, Marco. I-sniff-I hurt you and I can't even see it." She choked on her sobs again. "I'm so sorry. I'm… sniff I'm sorry. I didn't know… I didn't know… Marco, I didn't-" Star couldn't form words anymore. She broke down.
Marco didn't know what was happening anymore, but Star downright bawling in his arms, for something he caused, made him loathe himself even more than before. So many unsaid words, emotions, feelings… So much was between them, as if a wall was constructed. "I… I can't do this. I can't… God help me…" Marco held Star tighter, feeling her summer dress press against his dirty hoodie.
"S-Star. Remember when… Remember the school dance a while back? I… I was going to go with you, but I went with Jackie. I felt something was… off the entire time, seeing that odd red moon." Marco felt Star hug him tighter, as if her breath was growing cold. "I saw you blow up that sign and… You ran off after admitting your feelings. Across all our adventures, we...we've learned so much from each other. But we cannot keep lying." He pushed Star back, looking directly into her eyes. "I… at that beach, when I was helping Kelly out, I talked to a friend. I was slapped in the face with a realization and… I'm afraid to admit it." Marco felt panic and fear overtake him but something inside him forced this through. "When you… when you…" Marco grit his teeth trying to form the words. "When you kissed Tom, I saw it. My body… It was like my heart was shattered. I made you feel the same exact way with Jackie. I… I think…"
"..." Star was speechless for a time. She wondered how he could have known all of this… 'when did he…?' Star was scared. She was so worried that she had done irreparable damage to her best friend, and it took a moment for the implication to settle in. 'When I kissed Tom… Oh!' It hit her like a ton of bricks. Marco's exactly where she was just a few months ago. He had, somewhere along the lines, developed some manner of feelings for her… after all of this time. It should have been an easy exchange, but this was muddled with so much confusion. She was hurt, she was confused… but mostly she was just guilt-stricken. She didn't know what the right words to say were.
"I… when…? Why…? I-" Words failed her as she hoped deep down that her friend could find the words that she could not. Marco took her hand, giving it a firm squeeze.
"I fell for you." Marco finally admitted, feeling as if a giant boulder was lifted off of his shoulders. "I… Think I have for a long time, but was too stupid to realize it. I… Found out tonight. And I don't want to ruin your thing with Tom. …Both of you are my close friends. I don't want to be the one that makes things worse. I… I'm sorry."
Star squeezed back tighter. "It wouldn't be right of me to just pour my feelings out right now, but I- I can't pretend they aren't there." Star took a deep breath. Her world was spinning. This should have been wonderful, but not like this. She nearly broke their friendship, and here he was still clinging to the best thoughts and trying to keep her from worrying. "I've been trying to move on because… I thought I'd lost you a long time ago." Still more tears fell, steady but thick with raw emotion. "I never wanted to push you away. I just thought… I thought I had to. I… I want to fix things. I want to fix everything, but I just," Star had a coughing fit as the words poured out of her. "I need a little time to think this through. I don't want to hurt you anymore… I," Her hands shook in his as her confidence faltered.
"It's...It's going to be okay." Marco gently rubbed Star's back, trying to calm her down. "We… We won't hurt each other… ever again…" He didn't care right now if Star liked him back. He just wanted to be here for her. "I… I understand what you are dealing with. You… felt like you had to change. To be the best princess you can be, but please." Marco places both his hands on her shoulders, having a beaming smile. "Never lie to yourself like this. Embrace what makes you… you. Like you did on Earth."
If nothing else got through to Star that evening, those words did. They settled in her mind, washed down and through her, into every pore; into her heart. Something finally felt right. Maybe this mess wasn't all figured out, and maybe she had a lot of thinking and a lot of explaining to do. But now, she finally felt the same resolve as Marco. No matter what happens, they were always going to be there for eachother. She was so afraid that letting him back in would mean letting herself down again. Now she couldn't imagine tearing her sobbing form away from the boy. No matter what the details were… she absolutely needed him. She couldn't let him feel like this ever again.
"I… I promise, Marco." She finally smiled again. Marco's first genuine smile was so infectious, and it filled her with a warmth she had been craving this entire time. "I'll never let this happen again. I never wanted it to happen, but I have, and now I need to make it up to you. I don't just need to be a better princess, I need to be a better best friend."
"And I will be the best Squire in all of Mewni." Marco said proudly, holding out his arms. Star tackled into him, squeezing him tight. Both felt their hearts beating, not from worry or fear, but pure utter joy.
"You may be my squire in title, but that will only ever be for appearances." Star had to correct this now. "You're not my slave, Marco; you'll never be my servant. You're so much more important than that, and I'll never treat you like less than that."
Unbeknownst to the two confused teens was a bright red light shining down. Its red glow radiated into Butterfly Castle, nearly coating Star and Marco completely in its ruby glimmer. They felt the strange, almost mystic warmth, but hugged on in silence, soaking in comfort from one another, enough comfort to move past all of the damage that had lingered between them until now.