(thuds head) Dear god, but this was like pulling teeth. I had the opening two scenes and the final scene in the bag months ago. I just could not get them to connect. In the end, I basically attached scenes to battering rams and slammed it together. Enjoy.

Ichigo is wandering towards the exit of the Seireitei that'll take him into Karakura, using a stick to scratch random patterns into the ground. His sisters are off at school and Tatsuki is studying with her tutor so he's bored. He wants to go to Karakura and play with his other friends, and his mother finally relented and let him out.

The stick 'clicks' against one of the outer walls, and Ichigo starts walking alongside it, heading East, only for someone to step round a corner and block his way.

"There you are Shiba" says the man, dressed in Shinigami robes and glasses, a Lieutenant's band round his arm.

Ichigo looks up and smiles. He doesn't know the man, but he's seen him with his Dad before.

"Hello" Ichigo says. "Can I help you? I'm going to Karakura."

"All alone?" the Shinigami asks? "That's very brave of you."

"I do it all the time" Ichigo boasts.

The Shinigami smiles.

"Quite your father's son aren't you?" he says, and Ichigo basks at the compliment, not noticing how the man glances around the area, looking for possible witnesses.

"Actually I was looking for you young Shiba" he replies. "Your father sent me to find you. He wants you to come see him."

Ichigo lights up.

"Really?"

The Shinigami nods, holding out his hand.

"Yes. He's just outside Soul Society in my lab. There's quite a few things he thought might interest you. Would you like to come?"

Ichigo steps forward, then hesitates, glancing at the street towards Karakura. He's not supposed to go anywhere without first telling someone. Maybe he should head back and tell his mother first.

"If you don't want to go, just say" the Shinigami says. "I'm afraid I do have to get back immediately."

Ichigo frowns, then turns back, grabbing the Shinigami's hand.

It'll be fine. The Shinigami knows his Dad, he's wearing a Lieutenant band, and Ichigo knows he's seen him around. His Dad will get him back before his mother even realises he's gone. Maybe he'll still have time to see Chad and the others later.

"What's your name?" Ichigo asks as they walk down the street.

"Oh, I'm Lieutenant Aizen" the Shinigami replies. "I'm sure we're going to become good friends."

Ichigo gasps, jerking out of bed and reaching for a sword that doesn't exist. It takes several moments to recognise he's in his bedroom, moonlight shining through the window on a stranger's knick knacks. He stares at it all with incomprehension, before curling in on himself, fisting one hand into his hair.

What the hell had that been? A dream? A memory? Some strange version of both?

He doesn't get much sleep after that.

It's been 3 months since Ichigo woke up in this warped reality, and the only thing that has gotten even remotely easier is walking. Unohana had finally announced him as healthy as she could make him, and the Shiba family seemed to be of the impression that this meant Ichigo would happily slot into wherever he'd left off before he disappeared.

Ichigo was used to people having expectations for him. He was decidedly not used to meeting them.

But he was equally unused to not having the power to fight those expectations. And since this world is not showing signs of vanishing any time soon, that's something he needs to change before his brain tries to crawl out of his skin.

So first things first, martial arts and the sword. If he can start feeling more comfortable in his own skin, maybe everything else will follow.

However-

"Absolutely out of the question" Masaki insists, when he tries to bring up the idea at breakfast. The starch refusal takes him by surprise.

"Why not?" he asks over the table. "Wasn't I already going to the defence classes?"

Masaki bites her lip and busies herself with her plate.

"Yes, but you never really enjoyed them" she says with a forced smile. "It's probably best if we put them on the back burner for a while."

Kaien frowns.

"Masaki, it might be worth consid-"

He clams up as the woman swings a glare at him, and picks up his chopsticks. At his submission, Masaki's shoulders relax.

"You can go back eventually, if you want. Just wait a few years until you're more...settled? Maybe a decade to play it safe."

"A decade?" Ichigo yelps.

"Aww, it's not as long as it sounds Ichi" Karin says with a smile. "It'll pass before you know it."

"I thought you wanted me to readjust" Ichigo tries. "Shouldn't I go back to my old schedule?"

Yuzu giggles. "I never thought I'd see you beg to go to the self defence classes. Dad used to have to drag you to them."

Ichigo scowls. "What about the sword?"

Masaki's face drops.

"Ichigo please! We just got you back, can't we enjoy that? There's no need to rush into anything. You're still just a boy."

Ichigo chokes down the roar screaming to deny it. He's failing miserably, and he wont prove them right by having a tantrum at the breakfast table.

Instead, he shoves his chair back, and storms for the door, heading for the outer garden. He hears his mother call his name, but ignores it, for her own good.

He needs to scream and throw things for a while, and his mother doesn't deserve that.

Kaien watches as he son flees their very presence with a sinking depression. Next to him, Masaki looks devastated, half out of her chair as the boy vanishes. The twins catch each other's eyes, and as one, stand to leave.

"You know, I think we might just head to the Academy early" Karin offers.

"Yup. Sounds like you need to have a talk and we need to...not be here" Yuzu adds, before vanishing into the hallway, sister right behind her, leaving their parents to the tense silence.

"The sword might not be a bad idea" Kaien tries to offer. "If you don't want him to leave the house unattended too often, I could-"

"No" Masaki interrupts, voice firm. "No fighting. It's not right."

"...We're going to struggle if we don't give him any way to defend himself" Kaien warns. "People will expect us to be tripling his training, not lowering it. And getting back to his regular schedule could help him fit back in with-"

"He's not doing it to fit in Kaien" Masaki argues. "He's doing it to cling to his delusion. Our Ichigo never cared about fighting."

Her husband sighs.

"Then we need to find something that he loves in this world that he loved in that one" Kaien replies. "Give it value here. You and the girls are too close – he keeps expecting Yuzu and Karin to be younger, and as much as he loves that you're alive, you're fighting with him a lot right now."

Masaki winces. "I'm only trying to protect him..."

"I know" Kaien insists. "And so does Ichigo, sort of. We just need an approvable outlet. One that's familiar, but not to the point where we're going backwards."

Masaki nods, but her eyes are furrowed in thought. It's a look that hasn't left by the time Kaien leaves for his squad, and he hopes she has more success than he's had in figuring out the key to getting through their son's walls.

Near the centre of the Shiba compound is a garden with a huge willow tree as it's main feature. The branches hang thick and low, to the point where it all but blocks out the compound when you push through to the trunk. Ichigo discovered the place after his first tour with Kaien, and it's here he comes when he needs to erupt. While it couldn't be further apart from the image of his inner world, there's something about the place that reminds him of Zangetsu and his hollow.

He's had to come here so many times in the last few weeks. It's clear his mother and Kaien wants him to be the little boy she remembers, and even if he had memories of this place, that's never happening. His sisters aren't as bad, although they seem to take his newfound 'maturity' with amusement.

Everything is still unfamiliar, but at the same time, he's seen nothing to suggest it's not real. Surely by this point, Kisuke or Urahara or Shinji or someone would have found a way to break him out or get him a message. The longer it goes on, the more frustrated he gets. The weird, random not-memories that have started to crop up when he sleeps aren't helping either.

He smashes his fists into the bark. He paces the circle as runs hands through his hair, he screams into the branches, and when the raw anger fades, he drops into a crook in the trunk and watches the wind blow the heavy branches to and fro.

In the distance he can feel his bodyguard, a man called Shiba Ryo settle in to his standard corner. Ichigo hasn't spoken to him much, but Ryo has never once trespassed on him when he enters this sanctuary – so long as Ichigo doesn't try to use it to sneak away, the man trusts Ichigo with his privacy. It's a gesture that Ichigo dearly treasures – if he can't have his privacy, he'll take the illusion.

So he's a little surprised when he hears someone pushing through the branches, calling out his name.

"Ichigo! Ichigoooo! Are you in there?"

"...Tatsuki?" Ichigo calls back, and the leaves are pushed back to reveal the short haired girl clambering through, grinning in delight.

"I knew I'd find you here" she says, striding over and plunking down beside him. "This was always your favourite place to hide."

Ichigo blinks, glancing back up at the branches.

"Really?"

"Yeah. You always loved this tree. Don't you remember?"

He shook his head. There were no willow trees in Karakura.

Tatsuki pouts at the lack of reply, but quickly recovers.

"Your mother's been looking for you" she continues. "She asked if I'd take you to Karakura today to see the orphanage."

"Wait. I've got permission to leave the grounds?" Ichigo gasps.

Tatsuki nods. "Well, you have to bring your bodyguard, but yeah. Rukia's coming with a chaperone too. Your mother knows we'll never let anything happen to you, and everyone wants to show you around again. So what do you say?"

Ichigo blinks and turns his attention to the ground. On the one hand, it's seeing familiarity in all the wrong places. On the other, he can get out of the Shiba buildings.

"Well? Do you want to or not?" Tatsuki asks.

Ichigo looks up at the swaying branches, thinks about what he's heard of this world's 'Karakura,' the compound he's currently caged in, and stands up.

"Sure. Why not."

Ichigo had never really spent much time in the districts outside of the Seireitei, on the grounds that there'd never been much point. But Karakura is so utterly bizarre his head head is spinning.

Architecturally, its the same as most of the higher districts, with the same ancient Japanese style lining the streets. But the building names, the street routes, the odd park – it almost feels like the Karakura he knew was overlapped with Kyoto's Studio Park. Everything looks familiar, just several hundred years out of date. He keeps having double takes at people in the street – everyone looks familiar.

As such, he's not all that surprised that the Karakura 'Orphanage' Tatsuki is directing him too is situated where Ichigo swears the high school is supposed to be. It's a much smaller building, but the noise and number of inhabitants isn't far off. When he, Rukia and Katsuki make it to the door, they're rushed by kids of all ages, but Renji is shoving them out of the way, with Chad and Orihime following in his wake.

"Ichigo!" Orihime greets. "You finally came back!"

"Uh, yeah" Ichigo greets. "So this is where you live?"

Renji grins. "Might not look like much compared to your noble ass, but it's damn better than the lower districts, that's for sure."

"I bet" Ichigo said, trying to glance into the halls. In the distance he can hear laughter.

"Everyone's in the garden right now" Orihime announces. "We were playing Shinigami vs Hollow before you arrived. Want to join in?"

Ichigo winces.

"Uh, maybe no-"

"Yes!" Rukia squeals. "Big brother Byakuya's been teaching me how to do a sending, I'll totally win this time."

"What! No Fair!" Renji howls. "Handicaps for the nobles!"

Rukia grins. "Don't be jealous Renji, you can be on my team!"

This appeases the redhead somewhat, and the two rush down the hall, while Orihime claps her hands and grins at Tatsuki.

"You can be on my team Tatsuki."

"Great!" Tatsuki agrees. "You can stick with Chad, right Ichigo?"

Ichigo glances between them.

"Actually, I'm not sure I'm up for playing-"

"You should join in young Shiba" Rukia's guard interrupts. "It would be good for you to regain experience with your peers."

Ichigo scowls at him. At least his guard has the decency to look embarrassed.

Unfortunately, Tatsuki takes the older man's declaration as gospel.

"Yay!, Chad remember to tell him the rules!" Tatsuki hollers, grabbing Orihime's hand and running off, leaving him with a hoard of other children and little idea what was happening.

Shiba Ryo has nothing but respect for the head of his family. Kaien is strong, loyal and a great father. When the young Ichigo had vanished, he'd been one of the first guards to head out on the search. He openly admits to being astonished when the young boy had turned up alive, and that's probably why he agreed to taking on the bodyguarding role when Kaien had been looking for guards willing to take on the job.

Much like the rest of the family, Ryo dearly hopes that Ichigo will recover to the point that Kaien and Masaki stop looking like they're fighting a war every day, but he's not sure this is the way to go about it. Masaki had sounded so excited when the idea had come to her – Ichigo remembered his friends, and his one interaction with all of them had been positive. Perhaps time with them will help Ichigo re assimilate to the real world.

Ryo doubted it, but bit his tongue because while the idea was poor, getting Ichigo out of the Shiba grounds could only be beneficial. The kid was going to hurt someone if he didn't get more freedom from his leash. While he keeps the tolerant distance Ichigo requests, he's seen the boy punch his favourite willow tree far too much in recent days.

It's not that it wasn't a bad idea. Ichigo does genuinely like his friends, and enough of his memories overlap to make interaction comfortable. There's just one problem. While they might be some incarnation of his friends. They're also children.

If what Ryo understands about Ichigo's dream-life, his friends understood battle. Understood war and pressure and social requirements that come standard with puberty. These souls, while they understand hunger and having nothing, are living semi-comfortable lives at a much lower maturity rate. They want to play, and laugh and giggle at things they don't understand, and as much as Ichigo could handle that in small doses with his sisters-

It's clear by the third round of 'Shinigami-vs-Hollow,' Ichigo's ready to climb the walls. He likes company, but he also likes his solitude, and there's only so much interaction he can take before he needs some me time. Especially when all that interaction is with little kids who don't seem to understand why Ichigo doesn't find their games as fun as he used to. Perhaps it would have been better for the kids to explore the district rather than remaining held up in the orphanage, where recreation is so strictly monitored, but that wasn't Ryo's call to make.

At least he seems to have found a place to calm down – he's climbed a tree and is watching the chaos below. Hopefully after a few minutes, Ryo's ward will be back on the ground, but he'll give him a moment to collect himself.

Although the friend currently climbing the trunk of the tree might affect that result...

The hospital visit had blinded him. Karakura, for all it's familiarity is not the home he knows, and his friends are not the people he trusts with his life. They're still at the testing phase – so young that Ichigo's pretty certain he could fall out of their life and eventually be forgotten so long as he devoted himself to pulling away. Even if they held onto the friendship while indisposed, he's matured to the point where he has little to talk to them about.

He sighs as the kids run underneath the branch, never once looking up. It's not like he can blame them – Ichigo's just never had the time to be a kid in a long time. He almost feels guilty, considering what his Renji and Rukia's childhoods were like, they would have probably given an arm to be this carefree growing up.

At least their complacency means Ichigo can hide in peace. None of them have even glanced his way.

Actually scratch that. All except Chad, whose at the bottom of the tree staring upwards. Ichigo just stares back, until Chad starts climbing up towards him.

Well...Chad is Chad. A little younger than he remembers, and a little less mature, but he's still Chad. One on one, his younger friends are tolerable, he can live with the company.

When Chad makes it to the branch, he sits by Ichigo's side, and for a few minutes, joins him in watching the other children play in the garden.

"Do you know how we first met?" Chad asks, and Ichigo glances in his direction.

"I remember a fight" he replies. "But I'm guessing not the same one."

Chad nods. "It wasn't long after I was brought to Karakura. I look different, and a lot of people didn't like it. I don't...I try not to fight back unless it's to defend someone else, and a lot of the kids thought I was an easy mark. You defended me, even got punched a bit because of it. Your parents wouldn't let you come back for weeks. I thought I'd never see you again. But then you came back, and dragged me to see the others. You wouldn't leave me alone."

Ichigo smiles, but frowns when Chad looks at him with a serious expression.

"I don't want to leave you alone" Chad continues. "But you're not happy here. You're not the Ichigo I remember, you sped forward too quickly."

He breaks eye contact and looks down at the game.

"If we can't be what you need, maybe you need to look elsewhere" Chad continues. "Find someone who understands what it's like. Then maybe we can remake our friendship, into something you need now."

Ichigo gives a mirthless chuckle.

"That's easier said than done Chad. Where exactly am I going to find someone whose age doesn't match his-"

He cuts himself off as he realises what he's saying.

God. He is an idiot. Why the hell didn't he think of that before!

"You've thought of someone?" Chad asks.

"If he exists here, then yeah" Ichigo replies. "I need to go to the Tenth Division."

He leans his head out, and frowns at the bodyguards. "Wonder if I can talk Ryo into taking me."

Chad glances in his bodyguard's direction, then shifts his body slightly. Ichigo isn't sure what he's doing – until he realises the much larger boy is hiding Ichigo's frame from Ryo's sight.

"If you shuffle down the tree and head round the building, you can make it back into the Seireitei" Chad offers. "Maybe you can get to that person."

Ichigo stares at his friend, before his shoulders sag and he drops forward, giving an awkward bow.

"No matter what the world, you always have my back, don't you Chad" he laughs. "Thank you."

The boy shrugs, but he's smiling with his eyes, and Ichigo slips behind him, shuffling down the trunk and staying out of site.

He figures it'll take his bodyguard less than five minutes before he realises his ward had vanished. Which isn't a lot, but should give him just enough of a head start to make it back into Soul Society and get to Squad 10. He just hopes the Shinigami he dearly wants to see isn't too busy to talk.

Because if there is anyone in this reality that can understand his situation, it's Hitsugaya Toshiro.

Although his memories of the Seireitei's layout is definitely flawed, its primary outer construction is just accurate enough that he makes good headway. Part of him wonders if he should be more sneaky than running through the streets, but he's short, and the crowd makes a better distraction that trying to master stealth.

Oh, does the miss the days where he could have just flash stepped over the roofs and been there in seconds, but his one experimental test of that a few weeks ago had him utterly destroying a wall and giving his bodyguard a minor stroke on top of losing his outdoor privileges for two days. Until someone teaches – well, reteaches, him the basics, he's stuck on the ground for now.

Thankfully they don't have guards at the Squad entrances, so he doesn't have to find a way to sneak over the wall, and while he rarely visited Toshiro and Rangiku at their working space, most of the main buildings in the Seireitei have the same general layout. As such, finding his way to the Captain's office doesn't take much effort.

Admittedly, he's not even sure if Toshiro is a Captain in this world. He's not even sure if Toshiro exists, but there's one way to find out. If he's not a Captain, the Captain should be able to tell him where to find the Shinigami that was far older than his body suggested.

Although that was also assuming that Toshiro hadn't had a dramatic growth spurt while he was in the coma too.

When he reaches the door, he only hesitates for a brief moment, before pushing it open, not even bothering to knock.

"Hey, Toshiro, I'm-"

He trails off, because it's not Toshiro at the desk. It's someone far more familiar, whose eyes widen in shock at Ichigo's arrival.

"Ichigo?"

"...Goat Face?"

"So your wife is still holding firm regarding self defence?"

Kaien sighs and nods as he finishes signing a form and tosses it into his finished pile. "I don't know, I could overrule her – most of the Shiba's agree he should be at least relearning the basics, but she's been a wreck. There's no point in getting Ichigo stable if Masaki deteriorates in the process. And I see her point, he's still something of a flight risk."

He all but growls the last sentence out, sitting back and running his hand through his hair. A flight risk. His own son, no less. How did it get to this point?

It's a testament to how awesome his captain is that Ukitake just watches him with pity rather than frustration. The man has had a front row seat to every miniscule update regarding Ichigo's condition, and hasn't once chided his Lieutenant for venting. Kaien doesn't know what he'd do without this outlook – he really needs to do something to thank him for it.

With great reluctance, the man leans forward and picks up the next request form, though he's barely reading it as he continues.

"I want my son back Captain" he admits. "When Unohana told me he was waking up, I was walking on air. Then he woke up and looked at me like a stranger. We have to spend every minute watching him to make sure we don't get a repeat of what happened at the hospital - he keeps trying to slip away. Not that we think he'd try again but..."

He all but stabs his signature on the parchment and throws it at the pile.

"I want things back the way they were! I want the little boy who smiled and jumped into my arms when I came home. Who followed Masaki like a duckling and watched his sisters practice kido and played tag with his friends. Not this...enemy prisoner who keeps acting like we're all going to gut him in his sleep."

"Kaien, that is never going to happen" Ukitake consoled him. "Even if it was a lie, your son has spent half his life in another reality, being forced to confront things that no child should have to. He can't just forget that, even if he wanted to. Of course he's apprehensive, how could he not be?"

His lieutenant downed his drink and set it down. "Yeah, intellectually I know that, but…I can't even get close to him any more. Aizen, that bastard – I wasn't even part of his life in that coma. I was replaced, and not even well. He lets Masaki and the girls hug him and treat him like family, and I'm just left in the cold.

His Captain gave him a sad smile.

"Have strength Kaien. Of course his walls are strong. He's your son after all."

Kaien gave a bitter smile.

"I know. I just wish I could get him to realise that too."

At that point, the door bursts open, revealing a panicked man in a Shiba guard uniform.

"Lord Shiba, Ryo has lost track of Ichigo."

Kaien lunges to his feet.

"What" he growls. "How long ago?"

"Only a few minutes, and he's got the trail" the man insists, backing away with his hands up. "But he's worried about where he's heading."

"Where?" Kaien's Captain interrupts. "Aizen's lab?"

"The Tenth Division" the Shiba corrects.

Kaien's eyes widen.

Isshin. Ichigo hasn't seen him since he woke up. They'd been too worried given how much Ichigo was struggling with the rest of his life to try re-introducing his false-father to the mix. Even Unohana had agreed that keeping the boy away until he was more mentally stable would be in his best interests.

He turns to his Captain, who is already waving him to go.

"Why are you even still here, go!" Ukitake orders, and Kaien flees out the door.

He doesn't know why Ichigo is running to Isshin, but it can't possibly end well.

It's Goat Face. Kurosaki Isshin – or well, Shiba Isshin now, Ichigo realises. He's here. He's a Captain.

...And he's looking at Ichigo the same way a plus looks at a hollow.

"Shit, Ichigo..." he gasps, eyes frantically darting around the doorway, as if hoping to find someone else following behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"I..." Ichigo can't quite put the words together. Why is he here again?

Isshin grimaces, and stands, walking towards Ichigo. The boy stiffens, half expecting an attack or crazy hug...only for the man to give him a wide berth, trying to slip out the door without touching him.

"You...wait right here" he says. "I'll go...call someone."

"Wait, Goat Face?" Ichigo asks. "Dad?"

Ichigo jerks back with Isshin does a full body flinch and all but throws himself out the door.

"S-stay there Ichigo" he repeats with forced laughter. "Let your uncle ah...figure this out."

"Goat Face, wait!"

The man ignores him, bolting down the hall, Ichigo's arm outstretched in a failed attempt to catch him.

"Goat Face, Dad!" Ichigo screams.

The man turns a corner and vanishes, leaving Ichigo screaming at nothing. He suddenly realises how hard he's breathing, and how little seems to be making it to his lungs, and staggers against the wall.

Isshin is here.

Isshin is not his father.

Except Isshin is his father. He might not have been the best example of fatherhood but he was Ichigo's! Yet this version wants nothing to do with him. Fled his very presence as if Ichigo's existence was repellent to him.

It's the first time anyone in this world hasn't been the same. Everyone else is off just enough to be weird, but they're all still...them. Why is Isshin running away?

Why isn't Isshin his father?

...Wasn't he good enough? He'd done everything he'd asked the first time around, he'd fought, and trained and performed the Final Getsuga Tenshou all at Isshin's request…

Why isn't Isshin here? His father should, be, here!

"Hey there little guy, are you lost?"

Ichigo's head swings back to see the random Shinigami reaching for him, the kind expression on his face fading to something far more serious. He hand immediately reaches for Ichigo's shoulder.

"Are you okay-"

He shoves the arm away, and runs down the hall, heading for the exit. By the time he's out the building and fleeing the compound, he's not even paying attention to where he's going – and smashes straight into someone just as he reaches the street.

"Shit, sorry I-" he chokes, shuddering and trying to move past, only to find the stranger's hands clamped on his shoulders.

"...Ichigo?"

He freezes. No. Of all the Shinigami he could run into – his luck can't be that shitty.

But when he raises his head, it's still Kaien standing over him, worry written all over his face.

His throat is tight, he can barely breath, and he knows his face is flushed. As he takes in the boy, it's clear Kaien can see it too, because his eyes narrow, and Ichigo gasps as the Lieutenant picks him up, flash-stepping away from the building and hopping over the roofs.

Ichigo wants to scream at him to let him go, but he can't get the words out. He settles for smashing a fist on Kaien's chest, hiding his face in the back fabric.

A few moments later, Kaien drops back to the ground in a dead end, free of people, and Ichigo starts kicking, ripping out of Kaien's hold and falling to the dirt. It's still hard to breath, but he grits his teeth when he feels Kaien's hand settle on his back.

"Close your eyes, and take deep breaths Ichigo" the man offers. "There's no one around, you're safe here."

It's not bad advice – and within a minute, he's starting to feel his breathing get back under control. The panic attack, though quick, had probably been a long time coming. Behind him, Kaien rubbed soothing circles on his back.

His hands clench into fists in the ground, and he squeezes his eyes shut so tight it almost hurts. When it's clear he's mostly recovered, Kaien asks a painful question.

"Why did you go to see Isshin?"

He sounds almost betrayed, and Ichigo finds himself spewing out excuses.

"I didn't" he mumbles. "I was looking for Toshiro. He-I thought-he would...forget it."

"...Ichigo?"

"I hate this" he finally chokes out, angry that the words are raspy and choked. "I hate all of this! I want to go home."

The hand on his back stills, and Ichigo risks glancing up to see the man in shutter his eyes for a brief moment, shoulders sagging as if carrying enormous weight.

"I can take you back to the main house if-"

"You know what I mean!" Ichigo screams, pulling himself to his feet and away from Kaien's grasp. "This isn't right! None of this is right. It's a nightmare and I can't wake up. Why wont you all just go away!"

Kaien's hands clench into fists.

"How can you say that" he whispers. "A nightmare? Was Aizen's...hell fantasy really that much better than here? Your mother dead, your siblings completely dependent on you, the fate of the world on your shoulders? Constantly fighting day after day in a war you should have had no part in? Is that what you want back?"

"Shut up" Ichigo growls.

"No" Kaien says right back. "I wont stand here and let you say those things. You're scared, and confused, and trying to make sense of something that terrifies you, but we're here for you Ichigo. Just, let us in, help me understand. I'm your father-"

"Don't say that!" Ichigo screams. "You're not my Dad!"

Kaien flinches as if he'd been stabbed, and an icy pool of guilt started to flood Ichigo's stomach. He bites it down and turns away to leave, run out like he had far too many times this week, when a hand clamps around his arm and yanked him back round.

"Hey!-"

Whatever he'd planned to say died in his throat when he found Kaien kneeled in front of him, eyes narrow and expression cold. His other arm grabbed Ichigo's shoulder and dragged him close.

"Listen to me Ichigo" said the Lieutenant of Squad Thirteen, voice unyielding. "I am your father. You can yell and scream and deny it all you want, but that fact isn't going to change. I know this still doesn't feel real to you. I know it's easier to keep pretending, but I am not going away, no matter how push."

His grip relaxed, and he gives a sad smile.

"People keep telling me I need to give you time, and I'm trying. But it's hard to come home and see you with our family, and then turn and look at me like I'm a stranger. You're not even trying to get to know me."

"I don't know you" Ichigo mumbles, eyes dropping to his feet, and Kaien sighs.

"Yes, we both know that. So can't we meet somewhere in the middle here? You're not getting rid of me, so whatever you need me to do to prove that, I'll do it. Just, give me something to work with here Ichigo" Kaien pleads. "Anything."

That pool is now a full on reservoir, and Ichigo can feel his eyes start to water. He blinks furiously, trying to cut it off at the pass. He doesn't even understand – why does he feel so guilty at four honest words in the face of Kaien's reply?

It spikes when he looks up, so he keeps his eyes on the ground. On his arms he can feel Kaien's hands tremble, and freezes when the grip vanishes and feels the man move forward, embracing him in a loose hug.

"For what it's worth, I hate this too" Kaien whispers. "You're right here, you're in my arms, but you've never been further away from me."

Wrapped in a hug from the world's most familiar stranger, Ichigo feels the reality of the situation seep in to his bones.

...He can't keep doing this.

Even if this world is fake, even if Ichigo has no way to prove whose reality is right, he can't keep destroying the people around him. Kaien...cares. Cares in a way that Goat Face didn't. Ichigo can play the part around his mother and sister because he can see the women he left behind in them, but Kaien...he has no reference point. Nothing from back home to see in him.

If he starts caring, Kaien will be the one thing in this world he cares about that isn't back home. It'll be the first step in saying goodbye – admitting that this world is the right one.

He's not ready to do that. But when has the world, any world, ever cared about whether Ichigo is ready for the crap it throws at him.

Suddenly, an idea flickers in his mind. A compromise. One Kaien wont like but…

...He did say anything...

"The sword" Ichigo whispers.

Kaien blinks at the reply, and Ichigo steels himself before pulling himself out of the embrace, looking his...father, in the eye.

"Sword lessons" he says. "You want to get to know me? Teach me the sword. Help me get...something, back."

"Ichi, you're really too-"

"Not mentally" Ichigo interrupts. "And if you don't give them to me, I will find a way to teach myself, so..."

He sighs, and drops into a bow.

"Please...please let me have this."

For several long seconds, Kaien is silent, and Ichigo feels dread curl into his stomach, before the other man sighs and stands.

"Your mother is not going to like this" he warns. "But if you're that set on it, I'll be your teacher."

Ichigo lets out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding, and wavers on his feet.

This time, when Kaien ducks down and grabs him again, he doesn't flinch. Instead, he lets himself relax, and smiles.

"Thank you."

When Kaien smiles back, Ichigo tries not to think too hard about why the pool in his stomach has suddenly vanished.

I know Ichigo learned his father was a captain, but I don't remember (and couldn't find evidence) that Ichigo knew what division. Also, even if he did, the Tenth has always been 'Toshiro's Squad' and he had a bit of tunnel vision going.