I always knew I was different.

White hair, but physically 17. Loves to see the children play, but controls the very season that kills so many of them. Likes a laugh, but has no one to laugh with.

Yes, I'm one of a kind, alright.

Day after day, I would ride the North wind above the cities and towns and villages and countries, noticing how different I am.

I'm different and because of this, no one appreciates me.

No one appreciates the fact that I spend so long handcrafting my snowflakes despite knowing they were going to be ignored. Knowing that they would be crushed underfoot, or blocked by coats and hats, or smacked aside with a flick of a hand.

No one appreciates the fact that my season helps give them the flowers that many spent hours tending in their gardens. The ones that glowed red when the morning sun hit them, or gave a beautiful aroma. Those wouldn't exist without Winter to nurture the soil.

No one appreciates the fact that I was alone, but control the winds and cold that brings them together to warm up buy their fires at the end of the day.

I am ignored and unappreciated.

I'm different and it's lonely.

I spent 300 years, roaming the globe, having fun. But how much fun can you have yourself?

True fun comes from snowball fights or races or games of make-believe. Activities that can't be done by a lone soul. I joined the snowball fights children started but you can't exactly avoid the snowballs when they aren't aimed at you in the first place. I raced next to the world famous Olympians but it wasn't a good feeling when you've won but no one notices it. I played make-believe with the kids pretending to be the lonely guy on the street, but when your character doesn't interact with the others, you feel left out.

And that's exactly what I am.

Left out.

I'm different and I'm used.

They only recruited me because they couldn't handle Pitch themselves. They only tried to get close, to trust me so I would use my powers to save them. So that they could go back to relishing the belief of thousands while I only the belief of a handful. I shouldn't be complaining. But I can't help but think that I should actually be thanking the Nightmare King. If he never attempted to come back to power, I still would be unacknowledged. Without him, I would still be hidden, silently hurting.

I'm different and no one understands.

Unlike the other 4, I died to become a spirit. Unlike them, I wasn't told what was expected of me. Unlike them, I find my purpose myself. The control over the power that saved them from the mercy of the Boogeyman had been self learnt. No one told me what my powers did. I wasn't told how to use them. There was never any instructions on what to use them for. Because unlike them, I had to learn and discover it all myself.

They can't tell me they understand when they don't. They don't understand what it's like to be condemned to forever riding the coldest winds, not able to relish warm for fear of hurting themselves. What it's like to cause snowstorms which buried thousands, control the bitter chills that killed many due to frostbite. What it's like to make a huge iceberg and try to do something to help everyone but not able to. To watch so many drown next to a boat said to be unsinkable. Unless they can tell me they have experienced all of this then they cannot sympathise with me. No matter how much I want them to be able to.

Nothing much has changed. My believers are too busy with school to spend longer than an hour or two with me. It's still so hard to get more children to believe. The Guardians are too busy with their jobs to even acknowledge that another has joined their ranks. They have just went back to working as normal, cooped up in their homes, assuming that I have as much work as they do when that is not the case.

I'm different and it hurts!