The Twelve Days of X-Men

Note and Disclaimer: I obviously don't own anything from X-Men. And yes, I am back on this board! While my other stuff is still being played around with, I figured I'd add something a little different for the holidays (even though it is still a little early for Christmas stuff). I hope you all enjoy!

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me
A Wolverine in a pear tree.

Logan had never felt this irritated and belittled before.

Sure, it was easy to oblige some of the students' and teachers' inane requests. He wasn't much of a teacher himself and always felt uncomfortable around the youngsters. On the other hand, he always hung around in case somebody needed a babysitter or if the kids desired something outside of their reach. He also was always good at sneaking in McDonald's when Jean and Storm were not looking.

This particular task was a pretty ridiculous. He was sent out to the greenhouse just outside the mansion, by the Professor, to pick some pears.

Yes, that was right. The Professor sent him out to get some fuckin' pears.

Granted, it was for a biology experiment he was conducting with his students, set for tomorrow. The Professor didn't have the time or the ability to do the deed and asked the only person who wasn't typically busy (and was planning on spending the day smoking his cigar anyway). Logan obliged, grumbling all the way about it, and set out to finish filling the required containers before the sun set. He wanted some time outdoors before it got too cold to smoke his cigar.

While it was somewhat relaxing to be alone, the most infuriating part of this assignment was the people. Everybody thought it was the greatest joke ever that the Wolverine was spending his afternoon picking fruit for a biology class. Logan could not begin to count how many students passed by and made a snide comment. Some of them were cruel and knocked over the baskets he filled. Others filled in the silence with some perverse phrase, those smartasses. Logan always kept his tongue though, constantly climbing up and down to either chase the groups away or to pick up what was purposely messed with.

Towards nightfall, Jean and Scott arrived inside just as Logan was reaching the highest branches. Logan stilled his heart when he smelled Jean and assumed his customary growl just for Scott. Hoping to make this conversation short to avoid an argument, he moved enough in sight so that the pair could see him. However, doing that also cracked the wood holding him up. If Logan thought that the tree was going to hold his adamantium skeleton up, he was fooling himself.

Then again, this was a foolish chore.

"Taking up being a farmer?" Scott taunted.

"Sure as hell beats being a lumberjack," Logan retorted sharply.

"Where's that yellow spandex when you need it? You'd be the perfect pole dancer."

"At the dry cleaners. Somebody snuck into my room to use them. Know anyone who has the key and an uncanny love of the color?"

"Hey, hey." Jean put her hands up to indicate there was a ceasefire. Putting them down, she looked up at Logan. "Logan, I think that's enough pears for now. There are only so many kids experimenting with the genetics of the fruit. The remaining ones will rot."

"Not what the Professor told me," Logan replied with an eye roll. His foot carefully pointed to the upturned baskets too. "Besides, seems to be more fun for the kids to stall."

Jean sighed. "We can handle that later. Come down here."

"In a few minutes," he promised. "Can't a guy dream from above?"

"Stay away from my girl," Scott warned for the millionth time.

Logan was tired of Scott repeating himself and scowled specifically at his archenemy. Considering the interview over, he waved the two away, hoping that Jean did not catch that he enjoyed a small glimpse of her. Next, Logan moved back into the relative safety of the leaves. He did not want postpone this anymore. He was aching to have a cigar.

Before Jean exited the greenhouse with Scott, she faced Logan one more time. "Logan, I'd be more careful if I were you."

Logan waved her concerns away without Jean spotting his confidence, finally reaching for that last branch. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

And that was when the branch broke underneath Logan and he fell.