Hey everyone! Sorry it's been so long. My motivation for this has finally returned and I have more written that'll be posted later!
This oneshot is based upon my own personal experiences, which is why I'm a little hesitant to post it, but I put a lot of work and emotion into this so I wanted to just put it out there already. I hope y'all enjoy, and don't worry; there's a hopeful ending after the angst.
Chapter Warnings: depression attacks; alluded self-harm (but nothing is shown)
"Rei, even though you know how much of a sugar fan I am, I think that's a few too many sprinkles there," Chara advised, smirking in amusement.
"Ugh, I know that, Chara! It's not my fault the lid came off!" Asriel retorted, gesturing at the now empty sprinkle container in his hand.
It was a mess. A delicious mess, to be sure, and Chara couldn't help chuckling at the pile of multicolored sugar sprinkles all over the table, covering not only some of the cookies, but the counter too. Chara knew Mom wouldn't approve, but she grabbed a handful of the tiny candies and dropped them in her mouth, spilling some over herself as well.
"Chara!" Asriel exclaimed, looking horrified. Chara wondered if she'd done something wrong for a moment until he continued. "How could you start without me?!"
Chara and her brother laughed as they "cleaned up" the mess they'd accidentally made. They both agreed that Toriel and Asgore didn't need to know of this event.
"We shouldn't be eating all of these ourselves," Chara declared. "We should share with Frisk. I'll take some to her."
"Okay!" He hardly looked up as he licked some lingering sprinkles off his hand.
Chara got a paper towel and scooped a fair amount of sprinkles onto it, grinning. She left Rei to clean up the little bit of mess remaining and headed upstairs to the bedrooms. She walked over to Frisk's door and lifted her hand to knock, but froze.
It was faint, but Chara could hear it. Frisk was crying. Frisk hardly ever cried, at least as far as Chara had seen.
Her worry now spiked, Chara gently grasped the knob and turned it, softly opening the door. Her heart sank and she was gripped by icy panic at the sight before her.
Frisk was curled into a little ball on the floor, clutching her hair with both hands hard enough to obviously be painful. She was shaking, though whether from emotion or from something else Chara didn't know. The most disturbing part, however, was the unsheathed pocket knife on the floor next to her. It was clean, but that didn't mean it wasn't used. Flashes of memory threatened to drown her for a moment, but Chara quickly shook them away and approached Frisk's small, quivering form, closing the door behind her. She needed to figure out what was going on so she could help her sister; this was no time to get distracted.
"Frisk?"
She didn't respond except to curl into herself more with a whimper. Frowning, Chara sat next to Frisk and placed a gentle hand on her back. Frisk flinched slightly at the unexpected touch but otherwise didn't move.
"Frisk… I'm here for you." Chara watched as Frisk briefly paused at her words, her tears slowing. She was listening. "Whatever you're dealing with, you are not alone. We're here for you."
Frisk's tight grip on her hair slackened a bit, lifting Chara's spirits; she was starting to get through to the preteen already. Chara started rubbing Frisk's back, concentrating on using what little healing magic she knew to help soothe her. It caused a slight, green aura to glow around her hand, and Chara focused so she could keep it up. Frisk relaxed further in response, and soon let go of her hair and tucked her hands to her chest instead. She was still crying and trembling a bit, but this was a vast improvement already.
Chara knew from experience how harrowing depression attacks like this were, and thankfully Toriel or Asgore were always there to help her come out of it. They weren't here now, though, and Chara wondered if Frisk had had attacks like this before. She had never seen Frisk like this before now, and the thought of her dealing with this gave her a horrible feeling.
Frisk sniffled, bringing Chara out of her thoughts. She was slowly calming down, much to Chara's relief, and she was no longer shaking except for the occasional shudder from leftover emotion. Chara suddenly remembered what she'd originally come here to do, and she purposefully rustled the paper towel the little sugar sprinkles were in.
She was successful in catching Frisk's attention and curiosity, and the kid soon turned her head to look at Chara through her messy bangs. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, and Chara gave her a playful smile despite how her heart broke at the sight.
"So, Rei was decorated his cookies, and the lid to the sprinkles fell off," she explained humorously. "The whole thing spilled—and I mean, all of it—all over the cookies and the counter! It was hilarious."
The edge of Frisk's mouth quirked up slightly, giving Chara more confidence.
"You know how we hate making things go to waste, though," she continued, grinning. "So we cleaned it up! By eating them, of course." She winked at Frisk, and the girl gave a short, hiccupy laugh. "We can't keep all the sugary goodness to ourselves, though, so I brought you some. Sugar always helps me feel better, so it should help you too."
Frisk sniffed and nodded, smiling a little as she sat up. Chara moved her hand to Frisk's shoulder, and held up the paper towel before handing it to her. Frisk looked at the pile of sugar crystals for a moment, blinked, and then started laughing and crying at the same time.
"I…" Frisk's voice was hoarse from crying so much and she sniffled again. "Th-thank you, Chara…"
"Hey, isn't this what I'm here for?" Chara gently squeezed Frisk in a gesture of support and smirked. "Looks like I'm not only your guardian physically, but emotionally as well, huh?" She chuckled good naturedly. "Besides, I'm more than in your debt."
Frisk wiped her face with her sleeve and started picking up and eating the sprinkles one by one with her small fingers. "For what?"
Chara's smile widened with amusement at Frisk's antics, and she teasingly ruffled her hair. "Silly! You're the first human to actually be my friend! Not only that, but you're always there for me. It's the least I could do to return the favor." Frisk giggled and batted her hand away, and Chara winked at her. "And anyways, you're too good a person to leave hanging."
Frisk's smile fell and she suddenly seemed a lot more interested in the sprinkles than before, her shoulders hunching a bit. Chara caught on immediately and put her hand back on Frisk's shoulder to hold her close.
"So, want to talk about what's bothering you?" Chara was careful to keep her tone neutral and her voice soft.
Frisk stared at the pocket knife a foot away in front of her crossed legs, her lip trembling as tears threatened to return in full force. "I-I…" Her voice wavered with emotion and she cleared her throat to try again, fisting the paper towel in her hand. She squeezed her eyes shut and ducked her head as she blurted, "I just keep messing everything up!"
The floodgates opened and Frisk sobbed, letting herself fall sideways into Chara's open arms. Chara gently took the crumpled paper towel from Frisk's hand, allowing her to cover her face as she cried. Chara set the goods on the floor so she could better hold Frisk, and she again used her weak healing magic in an effort to help soothe the weeping kid. It worked partially as Frisk relaxed a little, and she wrapped her arms around Chara and buried her head into her shoulder. Tears started to form in the teenager's own eyes and she clutched Frisk tighter.
"I-I…" Frisk's voice cracked and she hiccupped. "I c-can't do anything r-right! I d-don't belong here; I'm just a m-mistake; I-I'm just a burden t-to you all! I'm sorry! I'm s-sorry! I'm not a-a good person like y-you said! I'm sorry!"
Her hardly coherent words dissolved into sobs, and her fists clenched hard in the fabric of Chara's jacket. Frisk just wanted it to stop. She was a mess and a mistake, and she missed him. She missed him so much it seemed to physically hurt, and it wouldn't stop unless she forced it to. Nothing helped abate the pain for long and it was almost ever-present, digging into her heart like daggers. She had too much pent-up emotion, and she didn't know how to get it out. The only thing she could think of was to distract herself, whether by fun things or by giving herself a different kind of pain to focus on instead. Both worked, but neither lasted. Everything just built up until the dam broke.
"Frisk."
Chara's emotional yet firm voice broke through Frisk's thoughts, but she didn't move. She hated it when people saw her so vulnerable, and now the coolest person she knew was clearly aware of her weaknesses. She knew she shouldn't be ashamed, but she was anyway. She knew Chara would never see her the same way again, not after this.
"Frisk, look at me."
Frisk did her best to stop the tears streaming down her face and succeeded, sort of. She hiccuped again and looked up, hardly able to see Chara's compassionate expression through the blurriness. Chara tightened her grasp around Frisk and narrowed her eyes in determination.
"Frisk, you are not a burden to us. You are not a mistake. You are a part of our family, and we would never be the same if you left." Her gaze softened. "Frisk, you're okay. You messed up, but that's okay. You're going to mess up again and make plenty more mistakes, but that's okay."
Fresh tears spilled down Frisk's face, and she lowered her head again and leaned into Chara's reinforced embrace. She knew what Chara was saying was true, but it was still so difficult to feel. Even so, hearing Chara tell those things to her made her feel a bit better.
Chara smiled, a touch of sadness appearing in her brown eyes as she rubbed her hand along Frisk's back, still channeling healing magic through it even though it was starting to make her tired. "Frisk, our experiences are different so I can't say that I know exactly how you feel, but I can say with total honesty that I've felt similarly. You remember what I told you back in the Underground, right?"
Frisk nodded, sniffling and wiping her face with her sleeve again.
"I know you're wanting whatever it is to stop, and nothing seems to be working, right?"
Another, albeit slower nod came as Frisk's hesitant answer.
"Well, I've got good news and bad news for you." Chara waited until Frisk looked back up at her before continuing. "The bad news is that these kinds of feelings will come back from time to time, but the good news is that there are ways to fight them, and they won't last forever."
Frisk's brow furrowed. "H-how long?"
"That depends on you." Chara gave Frisk a smile of bittersweet encouragement. "Whatever it is that's made you sad in the first place, you need to face it."
Frisk frowned, which Chara quickly acknowledged.
"Yeah, it'll be hard." Chara held Frisk close. "But it'll be so worth it, and you'll feel a lot better afterwards. I know from experience, heh. And, you have all of us behind you, supporting and cheering you on. I promise you, Frisk, that you can do this."
Frisk returned to hugging Chara tight and burying her head into her shoulder, continuing to wet the already damp fabric with more tears. This time, though, they weren't tears of sorrow. A dying spark of hope returned to a bright flame inside her heart, and she felt for the first time in a while that things really would be okay. She wasn't alone. She believed Chara's words; she could do this. She was determined.
Chara was relieved beyond words. She'd been able to comfort Frisk, and it seemed that her hope had been brought back to life. She held Frisk for a bit longer as the preteen's tears slowed, and she finally let her healing magic dissipate and stifled a yawn as it tried to build up in her throat. She moved a hand away from Frisk to pick up the paper towel with sprinkles on it, and lifted it in front of her and Frisk.
"Y'know," Chara said quietly, regaining Frisk's attention, "these sprinkles aren't gonna eat themselves. You feeling up to eating some sugar now, Mirror?"
Frisk giggled at the old nickname and sat up, genuinely smiling. "Yeah! Sugar sounds good."
Together they sat on the carpet, joking back and forth while Frisk munched on the bits of colored sugar. She had a headache from all the crying and her eyes were uncomfortably dry, but she didn't care so much about that in the moment. She wasn't alone anymore, and she couldn't describe how good that felt.
When Frisk was finished with the little sweet snack, Chara suggested they go downstairs and play games with Asriel. Frisk happily agreed and led the way out of the room. She suddenly stopped and turned around, lunging towards Chara. She was surprised as Frisk gently collided with her and gave her the tightest hug she could, tears again brimming in her eyes.
"Thank you," Frisk got out, voice quivering with renewed emotion. "Thank you so much, Chara."
Chara gladly returned the embrace and blinked back her own tears. "Anytime, Frisk."
Frisk soon pulled away and ran out the door, happy as a girl her age should be. "Come on, Chara!"
"Right behind you!" Chara called after her, but turned around to face the room again.
She took a step forward and bent down, picking up the forgotten pocket knife. She stared at it, grateful that it wasn't used in the way Frisk might've plotted it to. Chara folded the blade down and opened Frisk's bedside table drawer, placing it carefully inside next to her other woodcarving tools. She closed the drawer and smiled, before teleporting and appearing directly behind Frisk at the top of the stairs.
"Ah!" Frisk squeaked, caught off-guard by her suddenly being there. She giggled. "I don't know if I'll ever get used to you doing that."
Chara grinned and ruffled Frisk's hair playfully. "I said I'd be right behind you, didn't I?"
"Hey!" Frisk batted Chara's hand away and sprinted down the stairs. "And you'll stay behind me! Race you to the kitchen—no magic!"
Chara laughed and started down after her. Love and happiness blossomed in her heart at seeing Frisk so truly happy again. They'd move forward and help her overcome whatever it was that was bothering her, no matter how long the road would be. Chara knew Frisk could do it, and she'd always be right behind the kid the whole way.
Thanks for reading, and let me know your thoughts in a review!
I want you all to remember that you're not alone. No two people have the exact same experiences, but we're still in this together and have a lot in common. We all have our individual struggles, and one of the most important things is that we keep pushing through them and keep moving forward, one step at a time. Stay determined. 3