The lights are off, the room is hot, and we're sweating.

This isn't an unusual predicament we've found ourselves in. Sometimes we keep the lights on, sometimes not, and I was feeling a little adventurous tonight so we kept them off.

"You ready, baby?" Jackson murmurs, skimming his hands up my stomach to give my breasts a generous squeeze. I cover his fingers with my own and tighten his grip, pressing him harder against my chest.

"Just like that," I moan, and he kisses me - long and hot. "I'm so ready."

He smiles against my lips and moves his hands, solidifying them on my waist to flip me over to my stomach. I gasp, arching my back and feeling his tongue along the crease of my spine all the way up to the nape of my neck. My skin is slick and balmy with sweat, so the fact that he's licking it off makes me even hotter.

I get to my hands and knees and shift my weight forward on my elbows, lifting my ass into the air. I feel his hands grip my hip creases tight, grazing his erection over the slick skin between my legs. I spread my knees wider and press my forehead into the comforter, curving my back even more as I feel him continue to tease me.

"You want it, baby?" he murmurs, dipping his fingers between my legs and running them over my lips. I twitch against him and he kisses the small of my back, going higher to ghost over the bumps of my spine.

I nod, and he kisses my skin some more. I feel him position himself between my legs, but then move higher to a place that makes me jolt forward and snap my legs together.

"Wrong hole, Jackson," I say, eyes wide as I turn over to look at him.

His expression is a little devious, if I'm not wrong. His eyes glint and he's wearing a mischievous smile; he's plotting something.

"What?" I say.

"Haven't you ever wanted to try?" he asks.

I raise my eyebrows, blown away at what he's suggesting. "Wait, that wasn't an accident?"

He laughs and turns the bedside lamp on. When light fills the room, I see he's still very hard. I'm still turned on, too - I can't come down that fast - but I'm more curious as to what's going through his head.

"You have to ask me these types of things," I say, pushing myself onto my knees and sliding my hands over his shoulders. "We might be married, but you can't just assume."

He kisses me and winds his arms around my back, taking a firm handful of my ass as he goes.

"Would you ever try it?" he asks.

"Anal?" I whisper, the word so foreign to me. Sex, up until very recently, was foreign in itself. But after Jackson and I got married, it turned into quite the opposite. We have sex every night of the week, as long as we're both home. It's become something that's very important to both of us - connecting at the end of the day. It's how we come back to center.

I like to surprise him with how adventurous I'll be. I spent more than 30 years being the prude virgin. Now, I want to be anything but that for my husband.

"Yeah…" he says, smiling as he crawls over me. I flop onto my back and loop my arms around his neck, pulling my lower lip into my mouth.

"Why?" I ask.

"I wanna see how it feels," he says, dragging his fingers over my hard nipples. "I wanna see how you feel."

"You know how I feel," I say, smirking.

His hand slips lower between my legs, where he nudges apart my lips and lazily plays with the bundle of nerves just past them. I gasp and grip his wrist, and he nips along the skin of my collarbones.

"I've heard it feels completely different," he says. "How would you feel if I had a second penis that felt completely new?"

I giggle. "Are you holding out on me?"

"Maybe," he says, lips right against my ear.

He presses his middle finger deliberately over my clit and rubs in tight circles, and I lose it. I pinch my eyes shut and throw my head back, letting my orgasm pulse through me as I hold my breath and clench my fists.

When I catch my breath again, he's watching me with smoldering intensity. He lifts his hand and sucks on his fingers, sucks off what came from me, then kisses my neck.

"I'll try it, on one condition," I say.

His arm tightens across my waist. I've piqued his interest. "Hmm," he hums. "What's that?"

"You go first."

He pulls away instantly, looking at me with surprised confusion laden in his eyes. "What?" he says.

"You have one, too," I say, bending my knees so my feet rest flat on the bed. "I think it's only fair that you go first, since it was your idea."

He raises his eyebrows. "That's your wager?"

I nod. "Yep," I say. "We buy something the same size as you. And if you don't like it in your butt, I probably won't like it in mine. Sound fair?"

He stares at me for a moment, mulling it over. But after a few seconds pass, his face brightens up and he nods - slowly at first, then more confidently.

"Okay," he says.

I laugh. "Seriously?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"You wanna try anal so bad, you're willing to let me stick something in you?"

He laughs now, too. "Yeah," he says. "Honestly, yeah."

…

We make a plan to get our supplies after work the next day. As we're sitting in the parking lot of a sex toy shop, I'm highly troubled.

"I feel like this is something we could've bought online," I say, looking to either side of our car. "What if someone we know sees us?"

"Who do you know who's gonna be at the sex shop?" he asks.

"I don't know!" I say. "Arizona?"

"She's more vanilla than you think," he says, chuckling.

I unbuckle my seatbelt. "And how would you know?"

"Trust me, I can tell."

"People would look at me and think I'm vanilla. So, what do you have to say about that?"

"No, no, the opposite," he says.

"What are you talking about? I'm innocent!"

"Exactly," he says. "You were a virgin for a long time. You were the preacher's daughter. Everyone knows girls like you are freaks in bed."

I cross my arms. "I don't appreciate the labeling."

"Yeah, well," he says, winding an arm around my waist as we approach the door.

I look up at the sign. The name of the store is 'Wild at Heart,' canvassed in big, bold letters. I felt wild last night, but now I'm anything but.

"This was your idea," Jackson reminds me. "Are you backing out?"

"No," I say, continuing to move forward. "Let's go."

We walk inside and things I didn't even know existed line the walls. I look around with wide eyes, trying to take it all in, and Jackson starts walking in the opposite direction before I grab his wrist and pull him back.

"We came here for one thing," I hiss.

He looks at me with a smile in his eyes. "I'm just curious," he says.

"Well, stop."

We make our way through the store, and I yank him along every time he tries to stop. Finally, we come across a rack of dildos in varying colors, shapes and sizes, and I'm a little taken aback by the sight.

"You know it best, babe," Jackson says, eyes on the shelves and then down towards his crotch. "Pick a color, any color."

"I can't stand you," I whisper, but can't help laughing as I let my eyes roam over the wide selection. I tip my head to the side as I study them, seeing ones that are too small, too big, too veiny, not veiny enough.

Finally, I come across one that seems the most similar to Jackson in width and length. I let my eyes flit to him - he hasn't taken his gaze off me since I started - then give in and reach to wrap my fingers around the sample. That's the only way I'll know.

"Better grip it tight, babe."

"Shut. Up."

I move my hand up and down once, feeling him nudge my side, unable to keep my giggles at bay. I decide that this is the one. It's a deep purple with a few veins mapping it, and if it were any closer to the real thing I would be a little freaked out.

"This one," I say.

"Not this one?"

Jackson holds up a monster that has to be at least a foot long. He raises his eyebrows suggestively and showcases it, but I just burst out laughing.

"Do you really want that in your…" I widen my eyes for effect. He puts it down like it burned him.

On our way to the checkout, I walk quickly and with purpose. I'm comfortable with sex around Jackson; talking about it, acting on it, but in an atmosphere this public, it's making my skin crawl. I haven't become a different person overnight.

"Did you find everything you were looking for?" the saleswoman asks, taking the dildo box from me, along with the lube we picked up along the way.

"Uh, yeah," I say, eyes on the floor as Jackson gets his wallet out.

"Can I suggest something?" she asks, an eager smile on her face.

"Um…"

"It's just that usually, with these types of situations…" She giggles. "You'll have to excuse me. It's not that I see couples like the two of you often, but I've worked here for quite a few years. You start to get a good idea about people. And my guess is that between the two of you, you're going to want a strap-on harness."

My eyes widen and my eyebrows furrow together. "A what?"

She turns around and takes something down from the wall that's black and strappy. There's an opening in the middle, and she picks up the purple dildo and pops it in. It fits perfectly.

"You wear this around your waist," she says. "It simulates-"

"I get it," I say quickly, unable to meet anyone's eyes.

Jackson's arm tightens around my waist. I can feel his smugness beside me.

"We'll take it," he says.

…

I'm too nervous to eat dinner when we get home, and I don't think Jackson has any desire to, either. We kick off our shoes and I hold the bag tight in one fist, then walk to the counter to unpack our contraption. Without a word, I take apart the box and get the dildo out, covering it in dish soap and scrubbing it under hot water in the sink.

"Sexy," Jackson says.

I snort. "Germs are the last thing we need," I say. "I was doing a lot of research. There are bacteria we need to be careful of."

"I know," he says. "And you know. We're surgeons. We know, we'll be careful."

"I know we know," I say, still scrubbing. "But me and you… we tend to get caught up in the heat of the moment and kinda lose ourselves in what we're doing. We can't do that this time… we have to be careful. Okay? If it hurts, you can tell me to stop."

"Of course," he says. "And you say the same to me."

"Okay."

I rinse the dildo off and dab it with a dishtowel, then lay it out to dry. With Jackson's arms around my waist, I grab the harness and hold it up, taking a deep breath to let it out with a long sigh.

"This should be interesting," I say.

"Even through all the logistics, we're still gonna make it hot, right?" he asks.

I look at him over my shoulder. "Babe, remember who you're talking to," I say.

He squeezes me, hugs me in tighter. "God, how could I forget."

Later, in our bedroom with the lights low, I'm sitting on the end of our bed in my camisole and underwear, trying to work the harness. Jackson comes out of the bathroom, having just finished brushing his teeth, and smiles when he sees what I'm doing.

"This might be messy," I warn him.

He squints. "I'm a grown man," he says. "I know about personal hygiene."

I giggle and shake my head. "You're stupid. I mean…" I widen my eyes. "Once this goes inside… you know what I mean. You can't control what's in there. And same with you, in me. We have to be careful."

"Baby, we will," he says. "Do you need help with that thing?"

I nod, and he takes it from me. He hooks the dildo in perfectly and motions for me to stand up, so I do. I strip off my camisole and shimmy out of my underwear, and he sits down on the bed and helps me step into this thing.

"It's too loose," I say, lifting my arms to look down at it. "Can you tighten it?"

His hands go to work around my waist, cinching the smooth material until it's flush against my skin. Once it fits correctly, I look down and can't help but giggle at the way it looks and feels.

"Weird," I say, reaching down to touch it. "Is this what it's like?"

Jackson looks at me, smiling. "Probably not," he says, then holds my waist. "So… you wanna start?"

I chuckle darkly, pushing on his shoulders so he lays flat. "I wanna play with you first," I say, and crawl over him. The dildo skims his stomach and I sit back on his crotch, feeling him start to harden beneath me. I rock my hips against his erection and he smirks, then moves his hand around to the front of me to hold the dildo in his hand.

I match his grin. I like the feeling of having something that puts me in control. I didn't think that it would affect me, but it's empowering. I cover Jackson's hand with my own and encourage him to stroke it, and he goes along while keeping heavy eye contact.

"That feels good, baby…" I say, still grinding. His eyes burn into me, and I look down and let out a breathless little laugh as he continues to pump. With one hand on my ass, he squeezes the supple skin and I scoot forward on my knees so the dildo is closer to his mouth.

"Do you want me to…?" he asks, eyes curious but unsure.

"Blowjobs aren't hard," I say, eyes flitting between the purple toy and his lips. "Just open your mouth, and suck."

His eyes flutter shut with arousal and both of his hands secure themselves on my ass. He digs his fingertips in and tilts my hips forward, taking the head of the dildo between his lips.

Of course, I can't feel anything. But something about seeing him in this submissive position when he's in the one of power all day long really does something to me. The fact that he's stripping everything down and baring this side of himself for me is a huge turn-on. Right now, I have him wrapped around my finger.

"Just like that," I say, urging my pelvis closer. "Take it deeper."

He looks up and makes eye contact when he takes more of it in his mouth, and I slip my hand between my thighs to rub myself as I watch him. I match the rhythm of his head bobs, pretending I can feel what he's doing, and get aggressive with my strokes and oscillation of my hips.

"I'm almost there," I say, moving my first two fingers in tight circles as I close my eyes and listen to the wet sounds of his mouth over rubber. I close my eyes and grimace, baring my teeth as my muscles tighten and release, sending me into my first orgasm of the night.

His hand skim up to grab my breasts as I come, tweaking my nipples until they rise - flushed and hard. He kisses what he can reach, which happens to be the front of my thigh. I don't waste time with words, though, I just scoot back on his body, dildo glistening in the light, and rub the heel of my palm roughly over his stiff erection.

"Mm, fuck," he grunts, pelvis jolting. I work with purpose, watching his face as I go. He grows in his boxers as I continue my movements, paying special attention to the head that's created an easily-visible wet spot.

"You want my mouth on you, baby?" I ask, voice smooth as silk.

"Fuck yes," he says.

I smile devilishly. I grab the waist of his boxers and yank them down, and his erection is past the point of hard. It looks nearly painful. The veins are swollen and the tip is flushed, just how I hoped it would be.

I cover the head with my lips, running my tongue along the delicate veins and feeling him bury his hand in the hair at the base of my skull. I don't take him any deeper, though. After swiping away a bead of pre-come with my thumb, I release him.

"Turn over," I say, sitting back on my knees.

"You're…?"

"I'm gonna fuck you," I say, not feeling an ounce of unsureness as I say the words with confidence. Jackson is big on dirty talk. Sometimes, it's hard for me to think of anything creative, but this thing I'm wearing around my waist makes me feel like a new woman. "So hard you can't walk."

"Jesus Christ," he says, and lifts himself to his hands and knees.

Suddenly, my stomach twists with nerves. I rest my hands on the small of his back and realize I'm not tall enough to reach, so I stand up off the bed and stand at the edge. He backs up to meet me, and with shaking hands, I grab the bottle of lube and set it where I can easily reach.

"Baby," I say, skimming through the light hair on the small of his back. I lean forward and kiss the curve of his spine, running my hand around to the front of his hips to ghost my fingers across his erection. "I'm gonna stretch you first. Okay?"

"What?"

"If I don't, it's gonna hurt," I say.

"You really did your research."

"Well, I figured one of us should," I say, kissing his back again. "You okay with it?"

"Sure," he says. "Go ahead."

I spread lube everywhere it needs to go - on my fingers and over him, then push one finger inside after taking a deep breath. His body tenses around me and I freeze with nerves, wondering if I should continue.

"It's okay," he grunts. "Keep going."

It takes a few minutes to get him prepared, and when I can feel his looser muscles I know he's ready. I read more than enough articles on a hidden tab on my laptop, so I know what to expect.

"Are you ready?" I ask, lubing up the dildo and putting more on him.

He nods. I position myself at his entrance and watch the tip go in, and he makes a sound I don't think I've ever heard him make before. It's a strangled-sounding moan, mixed between discomfort and pleasure, but he doesn't ask me to stop. If anything, he arches his back and creates more of an opening for me.

"Relax your muscles," I say, smoothing my hands up his back. "I got you. I'm not gonna hurt you. I wanna make you feel good, babe."

With my words, his muscles grow considerably calmer and I can bury more of myself inside him. It's a strange feeling, switching roles. This time, I'm in control. I choose when he comes and how he feels and how fast we go. Not that I don't have some of that control with the normal way, but this is different. There's a foreign object inside his body, controlled by me. He's submissive… to me.

"I want you to take more," I say, voice growing lower. "I want you to take it all."

He nods shakily, struggling to breathe evenly. "I can," he moans.

Then, finally, as I hold his hips firmly, I sink the rest inside him. He's louder than ever, groaning with his forehead against the bed, and I stay unmoving for a moment, holding myself within him.

"Do you like that?" I ask.

He nods again. "You feel so fucking good," he says.

I'm genuinely surprised. I didn't think he would end up enjoying this; I just thought it was a price he was willing to pay for doing it to me. I guess it's a win/win for him, then.

I do know the male G-spot is inside the anus, so that's a plus. I'm already thinking ahead of what I'll have to do to get myself to come. It won't be as easy, I know that for a fact.

I start thrusting, slow at first and faster as his moans quicken. I don't go rough and wild, though, I don't want something dangerous to happen, but I make sure he knows who's in control. I lean back and tilt my hips against his, changing the angle of the toy inside him, and his hand rapidly moves between his legs and starts stroking at a mad pace. I thrust upwards, knowing I must be doing something right, and he collapses face-first onto the bed so abruptly that the dildo comes out with a slick 'pop.'

He's still coming with his erection beneath him, breathless and spent as his hand works slower. After a few seconds, he flips onto his back and I see he's created a wet stain on the duvet that will have to be cleaned, but I try not to worry about that right now.

In a rush, he grapples for the buckles of the strap-on and gets it off me, the contraption hitting the floor with a clatter. As he sits on the bed with me in front of him, he yanks my hips forward and kisses my lower belly, dragging his lips over my skin in a wordless 'thank you.'

I run my fingers through his hair, smiling as he rests his forehead against my ribcage.

"So, you're a fan," I say.

He moves his hands down to my ass, squeezing it gently. That's a yes. His back is still heaving as he tries to regulate his breathing, and he doesn't make any moves to drift apart from me. I keep him where he is, loving the way his soft lips feel over my peach fuzz, and try to push away the nerves that come with taking my turn.

He hugs me close, running his hands up my back and breathing me in. He opens his mouth over the apex of my ribs, dragging his teeth across the warmth, and I close my eyes. I'll never stop craving this intimate affection.

"You need a condom," I say, feeling his hands smooth over my ass and to the backs of my thighs, thumbs teasing the lower part of my cheeks. He looks up and we kiss, slow and lazy, while I unravel myself from his arms.

I position myself in the way he had, elbows low, ass up. I grit my teeth together and know I need to relax, but I find it easier said than done. I let out a long breath and close my eyes, feeling his rough palms on my smooth skin.

"Stretch me," I murmur, widening my knees to try and assist. "Go slow."

"Tell me if you want me to stop," he says, kissing low on my spine.

"I will."

I bite my lower lip and try not to tense as he lubes me up. It's cool at first, which doesn't help with my relaxing, but I do my best. When I feel myself being stretched, I squint a little bit and make a small sound, trying to get used to the feeling.

"Good?"

"I'm - okay."

He keeps going, making it to two fingers just like I had. I work on breathing, channeling the yoga I do sometimes, and feel my upper arms start to tremble.

"Lay flat," he says, voice soothing. "Relax, baby girl. I got you."

I do as he suggests, lying down with my arms folded under my head. He positions himself behind me after putting the condom on, and spreads me apart to make for easier entrance.

"Go slow," I whisper, reminding him.

He leans to kiss the back of my head. "I know."

When he pushes in, I situate my pelvis and grit my teeth together from how it feels. It feels foreign, and I don't think I like it. Not yet, at least.

I grip the sheets in my fists, twisting them as his weight bears forward. He pushes deeper inside, moaning from the sensation, and lays a flat hand in the middle of my back. I can tell it feels amazing for him, but to me it just feels like a big muscle cramp.

When he's all the way in, I feel full and achy. I read that it would feel this way, like something is wrong, because this is the furthest thing my body is used to. He pumps his hips slow, shallow, and I reach under my body and slip my fingers past my lips to stimulate my clit. The articles said that's probably the only way I'll come.

"Let me," he says, still moving subtly. His fingers replace mine and move lazily, drawing sloppy circles on my clit as he kisses my back and shoulder blades with an open mouth. "You feel so good," he says. "So tight, baby."

It doesn't take him long to come, and it's an odd sensation. I relish the feeling of him coming inside me usually, but this feels uncontrollable. And it goes much faster than normal, too. His fingers quicken their pace and my mind goes blank, losing my breath as he turns me gently over and makes me come with his mouth.

I lie there after, spent and hollow. I cover my face with my hands and know I can't move. I'm almost scared to. I still feel stretched, though I know that'll change in a little while.

"You're amazing," he says, crawling up to spoon me.

"This bed is filthy," I say, but can't help the smile on my face as he hugs me closer, one hand covering my breast.

"I'll clean it," he says. "Just give me a second to hold my wife."

"So, now you're all sappy because I let you put it in my butt," I say, pretending to be annoyed.

He hums, burying his face in my hair. "Exactly," he says, then kisses my neck. "Thanks for trying. I know it wasn't your favorite thing; you don't have to do it again."

"But I'm keeping that thing," I say, reaching back to hold the side of his face.

"Hmm?"

"I am," I say, pushing my hips back against the front of his crotch. "Because that might've been my last time doing it, but it wasn't yours." I chuckle softly. "It definitely wasn't yours."