Guidance

The world around Steven is beautiful.

It's a forest, bigger than any he's ever seen, with trees that would tower even over Alexandrite. The sun that filters through its canopy is a vivid, shimmering green and gold. There are other lights, too- fluttering things, birds and dragonflies and winged rabbits. The air is cool, but pleasantly so, like the first days of spring, and rich with the smells of bark, soil, and something almost electric.

Steven's pretty sure he's dreaming. After all, he's never seen anything like this before, on Earth or off of it.

Thing is, he doesn't usually realize he's dreaming when it's a regular dream. Which means this probably isn't one.

"Hello?" Steven calls out to the world at large. The flittering critters react like a stone thrown into water, radiating away from him. "I'm really sorry for wandering into your head! I didn't mean to!"

Nobody answers.

With nothing else to do, Steven sets off exploring. Walking along the mossy forest floor, occasionally trying to reach out to one of magical dream animals, but they all flinch away from him. He sighs, and tries calling out names for whose dream this could be. "Dad? Amethyst? Lapis?" Then, a little hopefully, "Connie?"

No answer.

"Fine," Steven sighs. He flops down on a massive most pillow on the root of an absolutely massive tree.

Now what? he wonders.

He could wake up. Probably best. He's learned the dangers of wandering in a sub-conscious where he's not wanted.

But the thought of lying in his dark room, sleepless, is incredibly unappealing. Keeping his eyes shut tight, pretending he can't hear the Gems creeping around, watching him. Wondering why everyone's so freaked out, when he's home and he's safe. Worrying about the Lars, the one who actually deserves it.

Something flickers in the corner of his eye.

Steven turns. It's a little plant-flowery-vine thing, pale translucent white, it's little frond wiggling.

"Oh, hello!" Steven says.

It seems to hear him. At least, it wiggles a little more, stretching towards him.

"I'm Steven," Steven says, ever polite. "I don't suppose you know where I am, huh?" If it does, it can't say, which is maybe to be expected of a plant. Still, he's not giving up yet. "I was kinda hoping this is the mind of my friend, Connie. She kinda ran off earlier, and…"

The plant seems to look at him expectantly, which is impressive for something without eyes.

"She's being… frustrating," Steven confesses. "And I don't know why! I was gone doing something dangerous, but it was something to save her. And when I came back, she was mad at me! It makes no sense! Doesn't she get I was protect everyone? Her, my friends, the whole planet... "

The plant reaches out, closer to him, and Steven knows it can understand him.

"She said Stevonnie coulda defeated Aquamarine. But that's stupid. Alexandrite couldn't defeat Aquamarine! And she's the size of godzilla! So if we'd tried, no way we coulda won. We just would have gotten carried off into space, and now we'd be trapped in a zoo. I couldn't risk everyone. I couldn't risk her."

The plant stretches, a leafy tendril coming to lay on Steven's hand. It's cool. Comforting.

It wants him to keep explaining.

"And I mean- all the Diamonds really want is Rose Quartz. And who can blame them? She's a killer. Or maybe she is… I wonder if Zircon is right? That someone else shattered Pink Diamond, and covered it up?" Steven sighs again. The plant squeezes his hand in response. "But then… why does everyone think my Mom did it? Did she lie to them? It wouldn't be the first time…"

Suddenly, all those thoughts- those thoughts he hasn't had the time to look at, the one's he's actively been avoiding- come spilling out of his mouth. Steven lets them. The plant won't get angry at him, or start crying, or tell him he was irresponsible, or run away. The pant will listen. The plant will understand.

Korra is sharing tea with Fire Lord Izumi and about ten of the highest ranking noble families in the Fire Nation, when a transparent woman appears in the middle of the table to tell Korra that she needs to come quickly.

The nobles erupt into a mixture of surprised expressions, scandalized gasped, annoyed frowns and curious questions.

Korra herself remains completely calm. She'd gotten pretty used to Jinora and other air-benders with spiritual projection.

She catches Izumi's eye. The Fire Lord nods. m"Do what you must. I am sure we can carry on without you."

Within five minutes, Korra's in a nice, quiet, private chamber, eyes crossed, breathing deep, letting her spirit float out of her body and into a whole other world entirely.

What she finds there: vines.

Lots and lots of vines.

"So I'm guessing this is the problem?" Korra asks.

Jinora nods. "Furry-Foot said that it started showing up… well, spirit time doesn't always correspond perfectly to our world's, but a few days, at least. It's spreading fast, snaring everything it touches. Won't be long until it reaches the Northern Spirit Portal."

Korra nearly swears. But keeping a positive outlook is important in the Spirit World, so she doesn't.

She does wish this had happened at basically any other time. When she was at home in Republic City, or visiting family, either in the North or South Pole. But no. It had to have hit while she was in the middle of a tour of the Fire Nation. While she's gotten better at this spirity stuff, she still would have preferred to actually walk into the Spirit World in her real body. She always feels so… naked, without her bending.

Whatever. No use grousing.

Jinora wants to come, but her form is flickering at the edges. Apparently she was at this for hours, not wanting to interrupt Korra. It's late in Republic City. She needs her rest. After a little resistance, Jinora's form vanishes, and Korra heads off alone.

She has to weave and duck her wave through the waves of spirits rushing from the ever encroaching vines- until, suddenly, she doesn't have to at all. They've all fled, or have become trapped.

Korra makes sure to float a good few feet above the surface.

She stares down at the vines. It doesn't look like a dark spirit, all roiling blacks and purples, like oil on water. These vines are bright. Shimmering pinks, with sparks of yellow and blue just beneath the surface.

More to the point; they don't feel like a dark spirit. Those are all- rage and impotence and frustration and righteous fury turned sour. This- well, Korra's not great at sensing emotions, and she's not going to say there's no anger there. But more… sadness, maybe… And something almost earnest.

Korra shakes her head.

"Hello," she says. "I'm the Avatar!. I'm here to talk to you about all the, well, attacking."

An almost invisible ripple seems to pass through the vines as its attention shifts to her. One of its might tendrils raises up, reaching towards her.

"Woah woah woah!" Korra flings herself back; not sure if this thing can trap her in the Spirit World, but she's not gonna risk it. "Look, I don't want to hurt you. But you're hurting a lot of other people. Can you tell me why? Maybe we can figure something out."

Curiousity. Confusion. Those are the feelings Korra's sensing from it.

"Did something upset you? Or hurt you? If something did, I'll try my best to fix it. But right now, you're hurting others, and I can't allow that."

The plant doesn't answer.

Because, obviously, it's a plant. But this is the Spirit World. You never know. Korra really wishes this was one of the spirits which can talk, since it's a lot harder to do peace negotiations with something with no words or expressions.

The vines ripple and pulse, a pattern moving deeper into the core of its roiling tangle. Korra squares her shoulders, and follows it.

"This better not be a trap," she mutters.

The vines' lights glitter in a way that feels like it should be reassuring. Somehow it does little to reassure her.

The lights begin to accelerate, and Korra moves faster in response- faster and faster. She feels like she's being pulled- not by the vines themselves, but by the instinct inside of her, Raava's light recognising this is where she needs to go.

Around her is a forest, or what used to be one. Now every single inch of it is covered in vines, so thick she can't make out anything beneath it. Looming in front of her is what must be the core. It reminds her of the great Banyan tree in the swamp, or a distorted reflection of it. A a core of vines, the heart from which this all radiates out.

Korra's drawn towards it.

Instead of planting painfully straight into it, she flies through, insubstantial. Finds herself in a small chamber. A cocoon, almost.

There's someone inside. A human face, thick vines from the neck down.

"Hi," the person- a boy- says. At least, he looks and sounds like a boy, although it's not helpful to assume that kind of thing with spirits. "Were you trying to talk to me?"

"Yes," says Korra.

"Oh, okay! Sorry, I couldn't hear you very well." He peers at her curiously. "Is this your dream?"

"My… dream?"

The boy nods. "Yeah, when this kind of stuff happens, it's usually because I'm in someone's dream, and you're the first person to come and talk to me. Except, when I do end up in someone's head, it's always someone I've at least heard of before…"

Korra crosses her arms. "This isn't a dream. This is real. You're in the spirit world."

"Spirit world? What's that?"

"It's the… world for spirits," Korra says, unbalanced.

"Wow," the boy says, eyes going very wide. "Spirts, like ghosts? I didn't know those were really real."

The surprise in his voice is so genuine that it makes Korra take a second look at him. "Are you… human?"

"Sorta. I'm half-human."

"Half human," Korra echoes.

"How about you?" he asks, looking her up and down. "Are you human?"

"Sorta," Korra repeats, unable to resist herself. "Half too, I guess. Half-human, half-spirit. I'm the Avatar."

The pronouncement had earned Korra many responses over the years, from surprise, respect, annoyance and scorn. This boy just smiles and says, "Nice to meet you! I'm Steven."

"Well, Steven," Korra says, after a pause. "Are you part-spirit, like me?"

(Maybe it's possible, after all. Korra's not sure how, but if Raava managed to fuse with Wan, and again with her, why couldn't some other spirit figure out some way with another human?)

"No, no. I'm half Gem."

"Half… gem?" Korra's mind filled with images of the many jewelry shops she'd visited with Asami. "Like, jade or diamond or something?"

This was probably the wrong thing to say, because Steven grimaced and shook his head vigorously. "No no no no. My Mom was a Rose Quartz."

"Right," said Korra, carefully not asking how someone's mother could be a hunk of pink rock. "Well, I guess it doesn't really matter what you are. What matters is right now, you're hurting a lot of people."

"What?"

"You're hurting a lot of people," Korra repeats. "And you have to stop."

He shakes his head, looking genuinely surprised and panicked. "No, no- I wouldn't. How?"

"Those vines," Korra says, pointing at them and then spreading her hands to encompass the whole plant cocoon around them. "They've been spreading out, catching spirits and dragging them dow-"

"What? Where did- how-" He looks down and his eyes widened. "Where did these come from?" He begins to struggle and struggle. "I can't get out!"

"I- know. Well, not exactly." He bites his lip, still squirming and struggling. "I… I knew the plant was there. I was talking to it. But… it looked different. It was all white and translucent… and then it touched me… And…" He blinks. "I don't know. Everything's hazy, until you showed up."

Korra hums in the back of her throat. Maybe this Steven isn't the cause of monster-vines after all, but just another victim. Maybe even the very first.

She wills herself to become more solid, more tangible. Gravity pulls her down. The plant-floor beneath her was firm, but slightly springy, like a dojo mat. "I'm gonna try and get you out," Korra tells Seven. Wrapping two, strong hands the vines where the boy's shoulders should be, she pulls.

Nothing happens.

She pulls and pulls and pulls, with all of her (quite substantial) strength, and those vines do not budge.

"It's no use," Steven says.

"Don't give up so easily." Korra pats the vague area of his shoulder. If there's something she's learned about spirits, sometimes you need to be indirect about these things. "I'll figure something out.

"It's okay," Steven says. "Don't worry. It's not a big deal."

Korra's first instinct to point out yes, it is a big deal, and just barrel through to her next idea. This she pauses, and looks the kid over. "What do you mean? You can't stay here. You must have friends and family to get back to, right?"

"Well… yeah… But don't worry. They're all angry at me anyway…. I just put them in danger. They're better off without me."

Korra's frown deepens.

The vines used to be white, but they became pink. That seems important somehow. In the spirit world, a person's emotions affects the world around them.

She sits down and crosses her legs, like she's going to meditate, and asks, "Steven, when you were talking to the plant, what exactly did you tell it? "

Steven finds that explaining things to Korra is a lot harder than explaining things to the plant.

That's her name. Korra, not 'Avatar'. That part is a title, it turns out. It's apparently kind of a big deal, where she comes from. There's only ever one Avatar at a time, and it's their job to help keep the peace and make sure everyone is protected and happy.

That's part of the reason explaining things is so hard. The world Korra comes from is really, really different from his. Everything sounds super old fashioned, and there's no TV or internet or video games. Also, a whole bunch of humans have super powers, and use it to fight and build stuff and heal people. Also, as far as Korra knows, there's no such thing as Gems. When Steven explains about them, she says it sounds like something out of the "pulp science books" her wife likes.

But that's only part of the difficulty. Most of it is because… well, the plant just sat there and listened. But Korra can talk, and Korra has things to say.

"So let me get this straight," Korra says, fixing him her two piercing blue eyes. "You turned yourself in to these space empresses for your Mom's crimes, and only escaped by a pure miracle?"

"Uh, basically."

She throws up her hands. "Well, of course everyone is upset with you!"

"Well, they shouldn't be." Steven would have crossed her arms, except he couldn't actually feel or move them anymore.

"Kid," Korra says, her voice soft. "How would you feel, if one of them had gone and done that in your place?"

Well- well. That- he'd have been scared, of course, but the Gems and Connie have all gone and done scary things for him before. Lots and lots of times. But they've come back, safe and sound each and every time, and there's no use worrying about what might have happened. You just smile and put that behind you and move on.

"I'd be happy they're back," Steven says, as firmly as possible.

Korra's expression is skeptical.

Steven huffs and looks away. "You just don't get it. No one does."

"But I do. I really, really do."

Steven hesitates, and glances back at the woman. When he does, her eyes are solemn, distant.

"It happened… oh, ten years ago now? Twelve?" Korra shakes her head, mouth briefly twisting in wry amusement. It fades quickly. "There was group going around; called themselves the Red Lotus. They believed in… well, a lot of things. Some of it was maybe even good. But their methods…" A heavy sigh. "They kidnapped a group of civilians, and threatened to murder them if I didn't give myself up."

As much as he can, Steven leans forward. "What… what did you do?"

"A few of my friends thought we could take them. Get to the civilians before they were killed. I didn't want to take that chance."

"So… you turned yourself in?"

"I turned myself in."

The story which followed is horrifying and breathtaking. The battle sounds… brutal, with lava and explosions and flying, and it would have been really cool if people hadn't died.

But even with poison in her veins, Korra had fought back, and she had one, and clearly everything had turned out just fine.

"So you did the same thing I did," says Steven.

"Yeah, I did. But here's the thing… As soon as I woke up, and realized what was going on, I did everything I could to escape."

"So did I!" exclaims Steven.

"Because of your friend. Lairs, was it?"

"Lars," he corrects.

"Right. Lars." Korra nods. "As soon as you realized he was with you, you escaped to make sure he escaped. But the way you were talking…. Steven, when you turned yourself in, did you really plan on fighting back?"

The memories flood him, too strong to ignore; the fear kicking in his chest, the seething anger at himself, the desperation, the determination, the wish wish wish that this could all just go away…

… and despite everything, the paradoxical relief somewhere in the back of his brain, that at least this would be over, at least he wouldn't have to worry any more, at least…

No. He hadn't been expecting to ever come home.

Steven doesn't say it aloud, but it must show on his face. Korra's expression shifts into- something. Not a frown, not a smile. She stands.

"You did the same thing as me," says Korra, "and that's why I'm so concerned.

"Because after that battle… I was really messed up. Both in the body and the head. I was weak, I could barely walk- and I hated myself for it. I kept hearing things about what was going on in the world, about what the Red Lotus had done… People were dying, and I was stuck in a bed. I was so, so tired. Of everything. Sometimes I thought… I'd be easier to just… let go. Let another Avatar takeover. A better one."

Steven wants to say something, but he has no idea what, and there's no breath left in his lungs.

"It took a couple of years, but with a lot of hard work, my body got better. This-" she tapped her head- "Not so much. I was sure I was… missing something. So I went looking for it.

"But… I didn't tell anyone where I was going. I just lied to them, took a boat, and…. Well, I told myself it was for the best. I was getting better. And if they knew what I was up to, then they'd just worry. That was the last thing I wanted. They'd already done so much for me, and I was just dragging them down. They were better off this way.

Steven doesn't want to listen to this. He wants to close his eyes and put his hands over his ears and block it all off. Or run off. But he can't do either. He's just stuck here, listening.

"Here's the thing," says Korra. "I wasn't actually getting any better. I was just- wallowing. Being angry and sad, and in a weird, terrible way, kinda enjoying it."

None of these words seem to fit the strong, confident woman standing in front of him. Steven manages to say, "How did you…?"

"I managed to find… well, let's call her an old friend. She knocked some sense into me. Literally." Korra laughs. "Then some other friends found me, needing my help. After three years, I finally went home. And let me tell you: my friends were pissed.

"And I can't blame them! I'd blocked them out of my life and lied to them! It wasn't fair to them… and it wasn't fair to me. And they knew that. They were all worried, and one of the ways that came out was anger."

Steven licks his lip. "So you're saying…. You think that I'm…"

"Yeah. Look at this." Korra lays her hands on the thick, pink vines enveloping his body. "In the spirit world, a person's emotions affect the spirits around them. Anger and sadness can turn spirits dark. Make them attack others.

"From what you've told me today, Steven, you seem very caring. You want to protect and help others. You're sad and angry- but that sadness and anger is aimed inward, at yourself.

"But that can still hurt ones around you, even if you don't mean for it or even notice. The vines are lashing out at others the same way. But they're also hurting you." She tapped his chest. "What happens if they grow over your mouth, or nose?"

"I…"

Steven wants to argue back. Tell her she's probably misunderstood. That it's okay, it's fine.

But he has to admit, it's not normal be trapped inside a mass of magical vines.

He stares down at the shimmering, swirling pinks of the plants around him. "Did I really do this to you?"

He thinks he feels a yes, rustling through the plant's mind.

Steven sags. There are people out there, being hurt, and it's all his fault.

Just like it was his fault that Aquamarine came for his friends. His fault that Lars is trapped in a Homeworld kindergarten. His fault that he left his family crying in the ocean. His fault that Connie doesn't even want to talk to him.

The vines creep further up his neck.

"Steven, no."

Korra's voice voice is urgent and firm, and close enough that Steven can feel the heat of her breath on his face.

"Are thoughts like that helping anybody?" she asks.

"I- I guess not," says Steven.

He's done things like this before. When Garnet first told him about Future Vision, when he fell off the Sky Arena with Connie.

Connie. She's always been there, to help him through, when he's sad or angry or afraid.

And he'd just told her… It was all fine. He hadn't really tried to- ask why she was upset. He's just thought she was being weird and told her to be happy.

She'd never do that to him.

He feels terrible, and for a moment, he wants nothing more than to just curl up in a ball here.

But that won't actually help her.

Suddenly, he can breath easier. The vines have retreated, and a pressure he hadn't even

Noticed vanishes from around his chest.

"There you go," says Korra, warm and encouraging.

She stays with him and talks with him, to help shrink away the rest of the vines. Giving him gentle reminders about how it's okay, it's alright, he can do this. Asking him questions about his life. What does he like to do with his spare time? What's his favourite things about the Gems and his Dad and his friends? What kind of stuff is he looking forward to?

The vines get smaller and smaller and smaller. The pinks and yellows and blues fade and fade and fade.

He's not sure how long it takes, but eventually he's left standing where be began. On that patch of moss underneath a giant tree, with that tiny white flower at his feet.

Those flying creatures- spirits, he knows now- are getting back up. Stretching their legs and wings and other appendages, fluttering off as quickly as they can. Steven watches them go through slightly watery eyes.

A warm hand presses down on his head.

Steven looks up at Korra. "Sorry," he says. To her, to the plant, to the whole spirit world around him.

Korra smiles, and nods.

"Now," she says, straightening a little, "Let's see if I can get you home."

"That's alright. I think I can manage that part myself, now." Already he can feel it- a sort of tug, a sense of the world fading, as his real body begins to wake up.

But first…

He throws himself forward, and wraps Avatar Korra's legs in a hug. The fur of her clothes is soft and comforting.

"Thanks," he mumbles into her stomach.

"Don't worry about it," she says, leaning down and hugging him back. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I'll try," Steven says, and he's left of the image of her warm, smiling face.

And then he's in bed, eyes closed, wrapped in a soft duvet. He can heard people moving around downstairs- clicks and clangs accompanied by sharp whispers, suggesting the Gems are trying to make him breakfast without disturbing him. The thought makes him smile a little.

His stomach growls. He would really appreciate having breakfast, and then going back to bed for an actual, proper sleep.

But he can't, not yet.

Eyes opening, he reaches out for his phone, resting on his bedside table. He finds the right number near the very top. He types,

Hey Connie
I'm sorry
Can we talk?

oOo

Author's Note: A gift for my friend Swordtheguy. Happy birthday, ya dork. Have an awesome year :)