"Chlo?" Aubrey asked gruffly, squinting through the bright light as she watched her best friend walk in, carefully guiding a tiny brunette with her. "What is she doing h-"

Aubrey clamped her mouth shut once she saw the look Chloe gave her. It wasn't a look she received often, but she knew that when she did receive it, she needed to hold her tongue. It was a warning.

"Beca?" Chloe asked the girl softly.

Beca, who had her eyes cast down at the floor, barely blinked at hearing her name. "Yes?" she whispered.

"How about you go take a shower whilst me and Bree make up the guest room for you?"

Beca left without another word, walking sluggishly and almost on autopilot.

"What's up with her? Why is she here at four am?" Aubrey asked as soon as Beca was out of earshot.

Chloe bit her lip. She didn't really want to talk about business that was Beca's, but she knew she needed to tell the blonde so she knew not to say anything that could trigger the DJ. She pulled Aubrey into the room furthest away from the bathroom Beca was in – Aubrey's room - and shut the door.

"You can't tell anyone this. I shouldn't even be telling you but you need to know," Chloe warned her.

"I won't," Aubrey promised, seeing how serious Chloe was being and assessing that it must be a serious situation.

"Her...her grandparents died in a house fire and she was really close with them. She thinks it was her fault and, because she felt like there was nobody left who cares about her, she tried to commit suicide tonight." Chloe said lowly, looking up at the blonde with sad eyes. She gulped. "If she hasn't sent me a voicemail saying bye and I hadn't gone to look for her, she would have drowned by now."

"Shit...oh my god..."

Chloe could see Aubrey was pretty shaken up, her best friend having gone very pale, how she usually looked before she threw up. "Aubrey, don't. I'm not letting Beca leave here without one of us with her. We have to be careful and mindful that she's in a really bad state. Don't bring anything triggering up like fire or your grandparents or drowning unless she brings it up first."

"She's gonna need more professional help than just us." Aubrey worried.

"Only after she's ready for that." Chloe sighed. The redhead looked down and blinked back tears. "Do you...do you think she's tried to do it before?"

"No." Aubrey says quietly. "I don't think she would have tried before – because of her grandparents. But without them she had nothing else to keep her grounded."

Chloe and Aubrey were waiting in the kitchen when Beca walked into the main living room area. She was dressed in black short shorts and a black tank top (Chloe's smallest one, so she knew it would fit Beca), and her hair was still wet, pulled up into a bun. It was odd seeing her fresh out the shower, because she had no makeup on. The heavy eyeliner had washed away, and it made her look a lot younger than she was. She looked like she could be about 15.

Somehow, it made her seem all the more vulnerable.

With Beca wearing shorts, Chloe could see more marks on her thighs. Either Beca didn't remember that they were there, or she didn't care who saw them at this stage. They looked like burns.

Chloe felt sick again.

Beca had been deliberately burning herself with that lighter.

Chloe almost felt like this was her fault that Beca got this bad - if after regionals she hadn't kept her mouth shut when Beca was looking to everyone for validation for changing the set list, then maybe Beca wouldn't have thought that everybody hated her, maybe she wouldn't have thrown her pills away, maybe she wouldn't have lied in bed for days, maybe her grandparents wouldn't have died, and maybe she wouldn't have tried to commit suicide.

Or maybe, none of that was a correlation of what she did, or didn't, say.

Beca didn't make eye contact with either of them, only padded over and took a seat at the island.

"Here, Becs, Bree made you some hot chocolate," Chloe said sweetly, handing Beca the mug.

"Th-Thanks." Beca whispered, not looking at either of them as she held it. Her eyes were puffy and red – she had obviously been crying in the shower. Taking a sip drew more tears to Beca's eyes. She bowed her head, unable to keep them in and letting them fall to the floor.

"It's gonna be okay," Chloe said softly, reaching over and wiping Beca's cheeks rid of hot tears that only kept cascading.

Beca sniffled.

"Beca, when was the last time you ate?" Aubrey asked.

The brunette shrugged.

Aubrey tensed. She could tell Beca hasn't been eating enough - the girl looked almost sickly, and had lost a tiny bit of weight since Aubrey last saw her. "I'm gonna make you some yolk soldiers, okay? I want you to eat them all."

Beca put her head down on the table, so her cheek was pressed to the island and her eyes were staring blankly at her mug. She didn't bother argue, or speak. She didn't bother tell Aubrey that she didn't want to eat, hasn't wanted to eat in days. She didn't bother mention that soldiers was exactly what her grandpa used to make her every morning before school. She didn't bother wipe the tears dripping down the side of her face onto the island. She didn't even want to bother breathing, truly. But that wasn't her choice.

Unfortunately.

Instead, Beca sat, more or less lifeless with her eyes fixated on the mug. Chloe watched her carefully for a short while, before seeing that Beca wasn't going to move, she got up and went over to Aubrey, and they exchanged truly worried looks. Neither captain knew how they were going to go about looking after Beca, and they needed to know because Beca needed to be looked after.

Aubrey finished up the soldiers quickly, and laid out the egg cup and plate of toast - actually cut to look like soldiers (Aubrey had a cookie cutter for everything) - in front of Beca.

"Here you go. Eat up before it gets cold," Aubrey said softly.

Beca got herself up to a sitting position. Her bottom lip wobbled as she stared down at the meal. Unsurprisingly, it was a trigger. Beca hastily pushed the plate and the two egg cups away, dropped her elbows on the table and her head into her hands, and let out many many sobs. They came hard and fast, made her body wrack with every one. Aubrey froze, not knowing what she'd done wrong, and feeling her stomach drop with a sudden guilt and heartbreak at making the poor girl cry, whilst Chloe didn't know whether keep a distance or run up to her and embrace her. She decided to go halfway, stand next to Beca and rub her back soothingly.

"M-My Gra-Grandpa made th-this for me ev-every morning!" She cried.

Aubrey had never seen someone as tough as Beca like this before, so distraught, so broken.

The seniors waited for Beca's crying to cease a little. The blonde hastily wiped her cheeks, feeling guilty for upsetting Beca.

"I'm so sorry, Beca," Aubrey whispered, quickly taking the plate away and hiding it behind the microwave. This was the last thing she wanted.

"Bec…" Chloe said softly. "Let's take a really deep calming breath, okay? Ready?"

Chloe inhaled deeply, and Beca tried to copy her shakily, but she immediately exhaled out a hard sob.

"It hurts!" Beca cried out. "I-I can't-"

She stumbled up from the stool, and shakily rushed to the guest bedroom, slamming the door behind her. She couldn't do this. She couldn't. She'd been hiding for so long, keeping her emotions locked away for so. Long. She was at breaking point. There was only so much a person could take.

And Beca had reached her limit.

For anyone who had ever grieved before, they understood exactly how she felt. It would never get better - she knew this. Grief was bitter and cold. It consumes you entirely, eating you from the inside out. It weakens you, so much so that eventually some die from a broken heart. Beca was entirely convinced that there was no pain worse than grief, it hurt both mentally and physically. And grieving for one person hurt enough, but grieving for two at the same time...that was deadly. That had the power to kill you, one way or another. It had done so to many people before.

Sooner or later, it would kill her too.