Negative Space

Salvation

Darkness. It was only familiar thing about the place I had gone too. It was pure, welcoming, and mine. It wrapped my mind like a velvet sheath, keeping only the small part of my mind that was still functioning sane. There was no sense of time and no sense of awareness. It was all one beast of darkness.

Or… I was. Power, both familiar and strong, sank into my bones. It stirred the thing inside me that was Amechania, drawing its awareness and making something happen. Pieces of me were waking up and knitting themselves back together. It was like feeling a tapestry being made, but being unable to see or recognize what it was. But, it didn't last long. That power vanished and with it, the darkness consumed me.

It wasn't gone for long though. I felt it return, pushing into me like it was forcing me to come to awareness. It always left, staying for only what felt like mere moments before vanishing again. It was never enough, but after several moments in time, I began to rely on that power to come and go. It was the only moment when I felt like I was more than just the darkness. More than just Amechania. The tapestry that wove during that time grew, and grew, spreading as my body slowly knit itself back together.

Air forced its way into my lungs. It had been so long that I almost didn't recognize the feeling. When it happened again I had enough mind to realize what was happening and tried to latch onto the feeling. My lungs worked on their own and dragged in air. I felt the rush of my body reacting to the reishi in the air as it entered me and everything roared back into vibrant color and overwhelming sensations. Mainly, pain.

I reached out, searching for something to hold onto and found it. I couldn't exactly tell what my hand had closed around until it was torn from my grip and replaced by something solid that gripped my hand in return. My eyes fluttered open, but they only stayed that way long enough to see determined azure eyes gazing back at me. Even with the relief that seeing those delightful eyes brought me, I couldn't hold on and the world slipped through my fingers.

Grimmjow…

"Come back to me."

I felt his mouth on mine this time, just as air passed my lips and into my lungs. It took several breaths before I was able to grasp the life he was forcing into me, and I startled as I finally figured out how to breathe on my own. I clutched his hand that was still grasping mine and strengthened my grip in an almost desperate fashion. It felt like I needed something to hold onto, something solid - something alive.

"Drop your resurreccion, Isa. You need to heal."

My eyes blinked open again only for those same azure eyes to catch mine. I stared up at him as I struggled to focus. "What?"

"Your Negative Space, you need to pull it back in," he cooed in a voice so soft I almost didn't believe it belonged to him. He was right though. I was beyond hurt, and the only way I could heal…

"-ampato," I mumbled, my request coming out in barely audible pieces. Those stupid brows of his knit in confusion for a moment, but quickly adjusted and he looked away from me.

"Get her zanpakuto," he ordered in that demanding tone I had grown so used to. It made me feel like smiling, but I couldn't seem to find the strength.

"Her zanpakuto?" A strange female voice said just before I heard footsteps running across the floor. I tried to move to look in the direction of the sound, but pain roared through my body just before I lost my senses once more.

"Isa." Hands cradled my face as something stroked over my lips in a painful touch. "Isabellia, come back to me. You can't go yet. I haven't given you permission."

"Fuck you," I rasped out.

I felt him move as if he were laughing. "You already have."

"It… Bad idea," I grumbled.

"I rather liked it." Was he really teasing me right now? I couldn't tell.

"Grimmjow," another female voice said. "Her zanpakuto."

Metal brushed the back of my good hand and I flinched, sending my body into fit of pain.

"Say it, Isa," he urged me as his grip on my hand shifted and he forced me to take hold of my zanpakuto's hilt. His hand closed over mine, holding my hand in place when I would have dropped it from weakness. "Call it back."

"I can't," I said as I coaxed my eyes to open once more. It almost seemed like it was too much effort just to keep them open, but I managed for a while as I struggled to get words out. "It takes power, without the ringing. The ringing- power come from the metal. To drop my… my Negative Space, remove me, make my zanpakuto sing."

"Then I'll make it sing," he answered as his grip over my hand strengthened. He jerked and I felt my zanpakuto connect with the ground before the sound of the ringing metal hit my ears. Ahh…

"Invigorate," I murmured. If I had the power to do it, I would have kissed him as I called to my bone armor and pulled it into myself. Where my body would have rejoiced at the return of my power, I was so depleted that the darkness around us merely seeped into my body and did nothing to help restore me.

"Good girl," he murmured. Releasing my hand, my zanpakuto clattered to the floor and he wrapped me in his arms. All it did was hurt and I wanted to cry out, but the only sound that managed to slip out was a rasping groan. His mouth covered mine and his power pushed into me through the bond.

I-I remembered feeling his power in the darkness. He'd been the one sustaining me, keeping me from withering away in my darkness. He'd kept his word. He'd freed me from the darkness when I could not.

A small whimper slipped from my throat, and he pulled back like I had startled him. I tried to say his name and to tell him what it meant to me that he had freed me, but I couldn't seem to find the strength. My head lolled back, but he shifted before it could fall all the way and guided my head to rest against his chest. He moved me then, lifting my body from where I had been lying across his lap and into his arms. The movement made pain roar through my body and I suddenly realized that I could feel my legs again. Geez, that was fast. The added pain made my head go fuzzy, and I was pretty sure I lost consciousness again.

"Stay with me baby," Grimmjow crooned as his grip around me tightened painfully, pulling me back into consciousness. Wind was whipping by me, lashing against my skin in waves that seemed to burn my damaged flesh.

"Call me baby again," I rasped, finding it easier to talk than it had been before. "I dare you."

He laughed, but instead of sounding like his usual cocky tone it was relieved. "You know I like a challenge. Are you sure you want to dare me not to?"

"If you're going to give me a nickname, it better be something more powerful sounding than baby." Even in my degraded state, my tone expressed my distaste for it.

"Then you'll have to come up with something more endearing, or I'll just keep calling you whatever I feel like."

"What's wrong with Isa?" I snapped softly as I roused in his arms. My eyes finally opened only to be lashed with the wind. He was running through the air in such a smooth motion that I hadn't even realized he was using his sonido. It was probably due to my current state of awareness, but I should have noticed what was happening to some degree.

"Everyone uses that name," he answered me. "I need something that only I can call you."

"Isa is just fine," I grumbled as I turned my face to hide my eyes from the wind.

"If you don't pick something, it's going to be what I want," he mused. His arms flexed around me and he lifted me higher on his body so instead of my cheek resting against his arm and chest, I had to adjust and find the crook of his shoulder. It hurt to move, like my skin was made of tissue paper and every movement tore a hole in it.

"You do realize that the only reason I'm not trying to stab you right now is because I can't, right?"

He laughed, his chest shaking against my side. "Take it easy, Isa. I'm feeding you power, but you're too damaged. We can argue once you've had a chance to heal."

I noticed what he was talking about then as I felt the trickle of power that was seeping into me from the bond. He was being careful to not flood me with it, but he was in the bond.

Just like he had been so many times…

"Grimmjow," I murmured his name as I lifted my head to gaze up at him. He glanced down at me, clearly meaning for it to have been just a quick look when he almost did a double take. He searched my face, his expression looking a little lost. I gave him the best smile I could manage, a mere lift at the corner of my mouth, and said, "thank you."

He looked like he wanted to say something, but he just nodded and turned his gaze back to wherever he was going. After a moment, he finally spoke, "it took me a while to figure out how to get you out of your own power. You've been down there for almost three months."

"The woman I heard, who is she?" I asked.

"A Soul Reaper," he said, sighing. "When you feel a fight start, stay out of it at least until you're healed. To free you, I had to make a deal with that Soul Reaper, and Halibel isn't going to like it. I'd order you, but you'd just find a way around it."

His words made me smile and I turned my face back into his shoulder to hide from the wind. "I don't think I'll be up to defying any of your orders for a while."

It was the closest thing to an apology he was going to get from me, and I was pretty sure he knew it. It didn't take me long to nod off again to his steady movements, only to be woken when his gait shifted from sonido to walking.

"My subordinates aren't fans of Soul Reapers for obvious reasons," Grimmjow explained. "Don't let yourself be alone with them until I've had a chance to give them orders."

I blinked into the fabric of his jacket, not understanding why he was telling me that.

"Orders?" that female voice from my rock asked. It took me a minute to remember what Grimmjow had said and for the pieces to click into place.

"I have some rather rebellious individuals that serve me," he answered her.

I rolled my eyes and couldn't resist the urge to correct him. "They are like children. Children need to be taught right from wrong. Instead he treats them like convicts, beating them down and magically expecting obedience in return."

Grimmjow's muscles flexed and I could tell he wasn't happy with my words when he grumbled, "you should go back to being unconscious."

"Mr. Bossypants," I retorted. A cough dragged from my thought, feeling like razor blades tearing into my throat.

He sighed but didn't argue back. Instead he straighten and the world dimmed as we passed into a building. I knew it was his tower after a few steps when I heard the clacking of familiar claws on the stone.

Raacharg.

"You freed her," my Adjuchas said, his voice light with relief.

"I told you that I would," Grimmjow answered.

"What about Luien?" Raacharg asked.

Memories of the moment I had been caught by the molten rock surfaced and a shudder ran through me. I was going to-

"Dead," Grimmjow answered, a smug satisfaction in his tone. I relaxed. Dead. Grimmjow had killed his Fracciones, just like he said he would. Gods, I didn't deserve a master like him.

I startled when I felt fabric brush against my back. Grimmjow shushed me as I looked around, trying to figure out where we were. Green vines, furniture and Grimmjow's kneeling body greeted me. We were in his private room and he had set me down on one of the couches. My head was lying on warm fur, but I couldn't seem to focus on it. I felt disoriented and confused and completely overwhelmed by the pain that was still radiating from every square inch of my skin.

"Easy," Grimmjow cooed as his fingers gently brushed down my cheek. "I'll be back."

When I just blinked at him, he rose. The urge to keep him close seized me and my hand lashed out, catching the bottom corner of his jacket. He turned back to me and I met those azure eyes.

Right…

"Make sure that she gets what you promised her," I said, my voice not much above a raspy whisper. "If you break your word to the Soul Reaper, then you are no better than Aizen ever was to us."

"That's playing dirty," he grumbled in response as he gently pulled his coat from between my fingers. My lips quirked in a weak smile and I snuggled closer to the fur, enjoying the warmth and familiarity of it.

I woke when something shifted and the fur that had been cushioning my head vanished. My body hurt. It was the only sensation my mind registered as I roused from the exhausted sleep I had been in. I was sore and tired and my skin felt like it was on fire. I felt like I needed to get off this couch and stand to stop the pain, but I knew it would only be worse until I healed. I just didn't have energy to heal my body. I was so, so tired.

"Isa," Raacharg's soft voice called to me. I realized then that I was making a small pathetic sounding groan with every few breaths. I stopped the noises, but it was hard to keep my voice in check when I turned my head and opened my eyes to look at my companion. My skin seemed to be tearing like tissue paper even with the smallest of movements.

"Quit giving me that guilty look," I croaked out. My voice was rough, but it still managed to sound like me. Sorta.

Raacharg's yellow-gold eyes grew shiney in the soft light of the room. "I'm not giving you a guilty look. I'm just happy you're still alive."

"I told you," I said as I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm very hard to kill."

Raacharg didn't reply to me with words, but instead moved toward me. His front feet stepped up onto the edge of the couch and the rest of him followed as he found a place at my side. He was careful not to touch me as he laid down on the edge of the couch, clearly wanting to be close to me.

Normally, I would have let him be there with space between our bodies, but today wasn't a normal day. Even though it hurt to move, I lifted my right arm away from where it had laid at my side. Raacharg watched me without moving on his own as I let my arm rest on the very edge of the couch and let my hand press to his furry side. With a nudge, he rolled onto his side and let the line of his body press to mine. He was hesitant to move because the moment he touched me I flinched, but with my gentle urging he let his head rest on the crook of my shoulder. He was stiff for a long time even as my body relaxed through the pain and went completely limp. That sort of effort shouldn't have exhausted me, but it had. I found myself drifting off to sleep when he finally relaxed against me. It made me smile even as I slipped away into the comfortable space behind my eyelids.

The next time I woke it was still daylight, but something about the air felt wrong. It took me a good while recognize the sensation of a foreign spiritual pressure bearing down on me, but once it clicked I was uncomfortably aware of the conflict that was taking place nearby.

I sat up slowly, allowing my body to cry out as I moved and giving Raacharg enough time to move out of my way. He stayed on the couch, but instead of pressing his furry side against me he found the edge and gave me as much room as he could without jumping down to the floor.

"What's going on?" I asked. I noticed then that Loly was sitting on the couch across from the one I had been laid on. She had my zanpakuto propped against the arm of her couch. I eyed her for a moment, not understanding why she looked so at ease.

"Grimmjow is fighting Halibel," Raacharg explained.

"Why?" I asked as I turned on the cushion and let my feet slide to the floor. My legs were whole where my armor had covered them, thankfully sparing me from having to put my weight on damaged flesh when I went to stand. I wasn't ready for that yet, but I'd get there.

"He brought a Soul Reaper to Las Noches," Loly answered for him. I had only glanced at her earlier, but now I let my attention land on the Numeros. She wasn't looking at me, but instead focused on her nails as she delicately filed them. The action fit her teenage appearance like she was putting on a show. "I'm sure there's more to the story because just bringing a single soul reaper here wouldn't set her off like that. He must have done something awfully annoying if Halibel was willing to start a fight over it."

I stared at her as I recalled what had happened leading up to my release. Grimmjow did have a Soul Reaper with him, but he had brought her to free me from my own power.

Oh… He had made a deal with her.

For me.

I had forgotten about that…

Geeze, what was wrong with him? I wasn't worth that much effort. Sure, I was bound to him, but he didn't think like I did. I shouldn't have mattered enough for him to risk himself for my benefit. It was one thing for him to guard me when I was injured, but this was a whole other level of commitment that he shouldn't have been capable of. He was a fake. He wasn't a god.

Pushing out a rough sigh, I found my feet despite my unsteadiness and reached out to supplement my balance with my hand on the arm of the couch. If I had been just a bit stronger, I wouldn't have allowed Loly to see me in such a weakened state. It was embarrassing, but it couldn't be helped. At least she didn't move from her spot to try and help me, though she was watching me from the corner of her eye. Even as weak as I was, I would have lashed out at her if she had tried to help me. If I had to guess, Raacharg told her not to try and assist me. Kudos to him.

"Raacharg," I said as I started forward and aimed myself at the small passway that connected this room and Grimmjow's bedroom. His claws clacked against the stone as he jumped off the couch and wordlessly followed me. "I need you to find something for me. I'm not sure if it's in Grimmjow's bedroom or not, but I need you to find the Caja Negacion that he has stashed somewhere."

"What on earth do you want with those?" Loly piped up, her voice expressing her surprise and just a bit of suspicion.

I didn't bother to look back at her, it was too much effort, but I did turn my head slightly so my words were directed at her. "Caja Negacion, or Negation Box, are a form that my Negative Space can take when I want it to. I made them for Aizen, and Grimmjow collected some of them."

"He didn't just collect some of them, he's got all of them." she said. "They're his trump cards, or they were before you taught him how to forge a bond between us. Now he can just control us through it."

Despite her sharp tone, I didn't get the sense that she was actually angry about the bond. She sure didn't sound as happy as Rudbornn had been to be in Grimmjow's service, but there was something good about it for her. It just wasn't Grimmjow.

Just as I stepped into Grimmjow's room, Loly brushed past me with nearly silent steps. She thrust my zanpakuto into my hands as she went by, nearly knocking me off my shaky legs with her forceful gesture. She paused for only a second to watch from the corner of her eye as I secured my grip on it with my one hand and settled my balance with its help. Once I was stable, she continued with what she had been doing and stalked across the room.

"Grimmjow ordered me to watch after you in his absence," she explained as she stopped before one of the massive planters that dozens of vines sporting red and pink flowers grew from. She reached into the pot and rose up on her tiptoes as her hand moved around in the dirt, clearly searching for something.

"He likes to think he's clever by displaying all the things he lifted from the Soul Society when Wandereich invaded them like they're trophies. But, it's the really powerful things that he stashes in odd places."

As she spoke, she withdrew a black pouch from the pot and shook it to remove the lingering soil. "I've known where he kept these little pieces of hell for years, but I never could get into this room again to steal them. He's like Smaug in that book with the little hairy people, hoarding his riches like a beast."

She turned to me, but it was only part of her movements as she tossed the bag at me. I started to move to catch it, but before I could release my zanpakuto Raacharg was in front of me. He only had to make a slight jump to catch the bag in his mouth. Loly just watched him for a moment as he landed, but her distraction was short lived as her pink gaze returned to mine. "That he would bring you here on your second visit was a slap in the face for the rest of us, you know. Two months ago I would have challenged Grimmjow for the right to put you in your place. You were the reason that he forced the bond on me. It was because of you that I went from reluctant subordinate to slave."

I opened my mouth to correct her, but she put a hand up to stop me and dropped my gaze. "I get it now, but that's what I thought back then. You can thank Raacharg for that. He taught me what I needed to know. It's because of him that I was able to bind Menoly to me, and me to her. He explained it all, and for that I am grateful. But it's because of you that she and I can share more than just the same space, but the same heart too."

She didn't thank me. She didn't even look at me again. She just started walking, keeping her eyes downcast as she moved. It wasn't until she stopped at the passway that she said something even more unexpected than her previous words.

"I used to think it was true, that these holes in our bodies really were our missing hearts and that we were fated to be alone for all eternity. But now? We aren't individuals living in the same place any more. We are families, lovers, friends, and quite literally - soulmates. And this is all because of you."

Loly licked her lips in an almost nervous gesture. "We all see it in a similar way, you know. We may not have interacted with you much, but all of us know this was because of you and have benefited from what you have given us. Just don't tell them that I told you that."

She left then, her petite form vanishing through the passway. I stared at the spot she had been occupying for a long moment as I ran over her words a few times. I couldn't help but to get hung up on one particular word she had used.

Soulmates.

I had never thought of it that way. Wedding the bond was how I had always known it, but that one word made so much more sense.

"Raacharg," I said slowly as my thoughts churned in my head. "What have you been teaching them while I was away?"

"Everything you've shown me," he answered around the pouch in his mouth.

Huh. I'd shown him a lot of my memories. What exactly had he picked up when I'd shown him my life? There was no way he could have picked up on everything... right?

"Can you take those into the washroom please?" I asked. He didn't say anything, but started moving toward where it was and I followed. I hadn't actually explored much of Grimmjow's quarters before, but I'd seen him come out of the room. I wasn't exactly prepared for the luxurious feel of the room, nor the cream and gold colored tile that ran the length of the floor.

The butt of my zanpakuto slipped when it met the smooth surface and with it went the weight I'd put on it. I fell to the floor in a heap and felt more than heard the crack of my head hitting the hard ground. My body screamed with the impact, but it was muted by the fuzzy spots that swam through my vision. Gods, I was so pathetic that I seemed like a stranger even to myself.

I hauled myself up from the floor, ignoring the world as it swam as best as I could as my hand found purchase on the vanity to hold myself up. It was a struggle that I should never have had to make. It reminded me so much of when Raacharg had dragged me out of that dungeon that I felt a wave of dejavu over take me. Even when a cold, boney nose nudged my hand, I couldn't seem to shake the sensation. It was the same. I was pathetic, broken, and too weak to do more than take up space.

Then, the cool, black cube of one of the Caja Negacion fell into my hand and a shred of clarity formed in the fuzzy world. My own power, familiar yet foreign, licked at my palm.

"Use it, Isa," my Adjuchas said. His voice was so soft that it didn't sound like he was telling me to do something. Rather, it sounded like a plea.

I blinked down at his blurry form. I couldn't seem to keep him in focus. Still, I felt his gaze on me.

"Isa," he said my name again, though it came out in a whine. "Use it, please."

"These are Grimmjow's, you know," I said, my voice sounding distant.

"No, he just has them. They're yours."

I shook my head, which was a mistake. The world swam a bit more and I finally decided that healing myself before I passed out was probably the best idea. I pulled the front of my shirt down, ripping the barely there fabric as I exposed the hole in my chest and slipped the Caja Negacion inside myself.

Power seared through my veins and my spine bowed with it. I fell back onto the floor, but I barely noticed it as the black bands of the negation box exploded from my body. I called to them, pulling the power into myself and pushing it into healing my body.

It hurt. My body had been eaten away by molten rock in several places and all of them ached as flesh grew to fill in the spots. I had initially been coaxing my flesh to mend, but the longer it went on the more I pushed for speed. I needed it to be over. The pain was immense and the sound of my charred skin cracking was almost enough to make me sick.

I never liked what fire did to a Human body and I had made it a point to never get like this. Arnau was going to die when I recovered. Every one who served that fart sucker was dead. Doppelgangers or not, they'd be just as easy to kill. I'd mow them down like I did a thousand years ago and I would eat their corpses. They would taste like rotten sewage, but the satisfaction I would feel would be worth the bad breath.

Still simmering in my rage, the power of the Caja Negacion ran out. I was panting on the floor still, my body only halfway healed. I opened my hand and held it out to Raacharg.

"Another."

He did as I said, meeting my enraged eyes with his own calm golden gaze. I nodded at him in silent thanks, and passed the cube of darkness into my chest.

I don't know how long it took for me to go through the two cubes, but when the power ran out I was left shivering with the fading adrenaline on the now warm tile. I let myself lay there for a long time and listened to my breathing as it went from the labored panting of an out of shape hippo to the calm exhalations of someone who probably should have been asleep.

Raacharg's cold nose bumped my hand, but I waved him off before he could place another of the Caja Negacions in my hand.

"It's enough," I said in a gruff voice.

"But your arm isn't healed," he pointed out.

He was right.

I lifted what there was of my arm and looked at the partial limb. Before I had taken in the Caja Negacion, it had been just an inch or two of flesh that extended beyond my shoulder. Now it was four or five inches longer and pale pink from my regeneration. The lean muscle I had worked down by conditioning my body was gone, replaced by the more natural and slightly bulkier muscle that I had started out with when I had first become an Arrancar. It was muscle that was made for wearing all of the heavy armor my true form came with rather than the sparse pieces I used now. My healing was restoring my body to the way it originally intended to be rather than what it was.

"It's fine," I said with a soft sigh. "The Caja Negacion aren't mine to use as I please. They're Grimmjow's. I'm not going to waste his resources for my own personal gain."

That, and I was tired. Processing so much energy like that was like hitting a metal rod with a lightning bolt. Sure the metal rod might be fine after one strike, but it would be hot. Hitting it with two would probably melt the damn thing. My nerves were fried. I could probably handle a third, it was my own power after all, but I really didn't want to.

"Do you want me to leave you alone for a while?" he asked, his voice sounding small.

"Please," I answered as my eyes slid closed.

I listened to the clicking of his claws as he moved around the room, then to the sound of the latch moving as he closed the door behind him. I laid there on the tile for a while, contemplating if I actually needed to get up or not. I couldn't lay on the tile forever, but I didn't want to get up either.

I rubbed my hand over my face, then scowled as I realized I was rubbing the charred skin that had come loose from my body as the skin beneath it had grown and reformed.

That was gross.

With a muffled groan I forced myself to roll over and used the vanity to help me to my feet. I couldn't help but to look at myself in the mirror, but the person looking back at me wasn't Isa. No, it wasn't even Isabellia. My body didn't hurt any more so I knew none of it was actually me underneath, but there had been so much damage that it was hard to tell. I looked like a burn victim, but the damaged flesh I had shed was sloughing off my body in patches of charred and dead skin. There was just so much of it. I didn't even look like my old self with my hair merely four or five inches long and my golden eyes dull with exhaustion.

I swore under my breath and turned away from the mirror, only to be greeted by the sight of the massive open shower that consumed the far wall. I blinked at it a few times as I took in the rich bronze tile that glowed with flecks of gold and the black adornments that could only be the water's controls. It wasn't just the shower though. I turned and gawked at the rest of the bathroom. Everything was in shades of white, bronze, black and gold. A room like this didn't belong in Hueco Mundo. This was a bathroom that belonged in one of those massive houses in the world of the living.

How the hell did he get this in here?

You know what? Scratch that, I didn't care. That shower of his looked like paradise and I wanted to bask in its awesomeness.

Stepping across the room with only a little help balancing from the various surfaces along the way, I stepped onto the textured tiles of the shower. It took me a moment to figure out how to work the knobs, but it wasn't long before cold water was raining down from the shower head. Gods, just imagining what the hot water would feel like was already making me feel better. Waiting for it seemed to make time move slower, but eventually steam started to form and I stepped into the stream.

Standing under the spray of the shower felt like heaven in the form of water as it beat against my back. I didn't have the luxury of a shower at my rock, but a wash basin that did the bare minimum. The last shower I had was in the world of the living when I'd slipped into a unoccupied apartment. That had merely been hot water though. This was something different entirely.

While standing there under the hot water, I managed to accomplish scrubbing my skin clean of the dead flesh my healing had caused. My hair… well, what was left of my hair, wasn't in bad shape. It must have been only an inch or two long before I had used the Caja Negacion to heal. It would keep growing until it was back to the way it should have been, then it would stop like I was a barbie doll.

We Arrancar didn't change much, and I was even worse than most.

I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, losing myself in the sensation of the hot water hitting my head and shoulders and cascading down the rest of my body. I let out a long sigh as my body relaxed. I was so wrapped up in the sensations of the shower that I felt my balance waiver. I moved to catch myself as I leaned to the left, but I realized too late that the hand I had intended to use was nothing more than a stub.

My eyes flew open as my body leaned too far to the side and I was unable to right myself with some small movement. I fell against the showerwall, my feet slipping as I tried to catch myself. I ended up sprawled on the floor, blinking the water out of my eyes as it cascaded down my face and body.

I hadn't exactly avoided looking at my arm, or lack of an arm. I had lost limbs before, though they had just been chopped off and easily reattached. This was different. That molten rock had gone through my shield and armor to eat away at my body. It had been Luien's spiritual pressure that had leaked through the molten rock despite my Negative Space. He had done this at Arnau's behest. Fuck me. I should have seen it sooner. To be told there was weakness in my Negative Space by Arnau was like someone driving a hot poker into my pride.

I let out a sigh and moved so I was sitting on my butt and reached up with my one hand to shut the shower off. I tried to get up, but my feet slipped on the floor and I fell onto my back. I groaned and laid there for several moments before I worked up some sort of motivation and sat up. My muscles were shaking with fatigue and frustration, so I let myself sit there in a slouched huddle as I tried to decide what I was going to do with myself.

I lifted my head and glanced around as if to make sure someone hadn't seen my slip. The bathroom was filled with steam from the heat of the shower and the door was still closed. It made me feel like I could hide in the dense air, so I pushed myself across the shower bottom until my back hit the cool tile wall. My head rested on the tile and I let out a rough sigh.

I should have taken all the Caja Negacion that Grimmjow had collected and used them to heal myself. It would have hurt and I probably would have stopped after one more, but they were my creation. I let out a sigh and mentally slapped myself. They were Grimmjow's now. If Aizen had actually given them to each Espada as I had intended them to be, then he had to find six different Espada's collections of them. It was a lot of work, especially when considering the ruins most of this place was now. He deserved to have them.

The door to the washroom slid open. I didn't have to look to know it was Grimmjow walking into the steam filled room. His power radiated off his body like a furnace, making the already warm air scalding with his presence. He was clearly still on edge from the fight he had just been in, and that thought made me wonder why he was here. He wanted a good fight, damn near lived for it even if he kept his desires in check. He was destruction, so why would he pull himself away from what he desired most to come for me, a weakened husk of a person?

It wasn't until I heard the distinct sound of claws on the floor that I actually shifted my gaze. Grimmjow wasn't in his usual Human looking body, but in his true form. That explained the feeling of his spiritual pressure. His feline shaped legs ended in claws that rivaled Raacharg's, while the rest of him was lean and lined in body tight bone armor. If I had more energy, a thrill might have ran through me at the sight of him. Instead, I felt little more than a mild confusion at his presence.

I started to ask him why he was here, but before I could even start to move my lips he was stepping onto the wet shower tile. I wanted to protest as he knelt over me, but my mouth stayed shut as his clawed hands found me. Like I weighed little more than a paper bag, he gripped my calf and slid me across the tile toward him. I moved to catch myself, but again I moved to use the arm that wasn't there and fell back. He caught me before my back hit the tile and in one fluid motion I was off the ground and in his arms. His chest vibrated with a low, almost inaudible growl as he stood and moved across the washroom to set me down on the countertop. He left me there with my legs dangling over the edge as he turned away.

His quick movements had my head spinning and I only partially had my senses straight before his touch was back. I reached out to find him, trying to find something solid that I could hold onto until the world stopped its whirling dance. His hand caught mine and I felt his claws scrape along the back of my hand as he guided my palm to rest on the steady strength of his chest.

His skin was hot under my hand where it was pressed firmly to his skin. For whatever reason, feeling him made the world seem steadier than it had been in a while. I could feel his movement through the muscles under my hand as he drew something soft and warm around my shoulders. It didn't register that it was a towel for several long moments, but eventually it occured to me that he was patting my skin dry like he expected it to be damaged and over sensitive. It wasn't, my skin had healed perfectly, but he clearly didn't know that.

I slowly drew my head up and met his azure eyes. His ministrations stopped as his gaze focused on mine. We hadn't spoken this entire time, and for some reason it seemed like it was too late to start. Maybe he felt the same sort of tension in the air because he didn't speak either as his hands slid up the towel and found my cheeks. He cupped my face in his large, black skinned hands. His clawed finger tips scraped across my scalp as they slipped into my hair, but I barely noticed the sensation as he leaned closer and kissed me.

There was something different about his lips when he was in his true form. It was like his mouth was larger and his jaw was shaped differently - more like the feline predator he half was. It was almost like kissing another man even though I knew it was him. It was foreign, exciting, and him.

Just… him.

I sighed against his mouth as some tension left my body. I kissed him back, softly devouring the taste of him as our lips moved in the most tender kiss we had ever shared. It was an odd sensation that sent shivers down my spine and made me lean into him.

The weight of Grimmjow's spiritual pressure eased and I felt him change under my touch. The claws that had been carefully avoiding puncturing my skin receded, his height lessened slightly but it was hard to tell because as it happened he gently nudged my legs apart so he could step closer to me. His mouth grew more possessive as he parted my lips with his tongue, and I let him have what he wanted.

We were both breathing hard when he finally pulled back, though it was obvious that I was actually struggling rather than just panting with the excitement like he was. His thumb stroked across my cheek and I blinked at him. I had closed my eyes at some point, but I didn't remember when. I was glad that I had opened my eyes when I did, or I might have missed the tender expression that seemed so foreign on his usually arrogant features.

"Did someone miss me?" I asked, teasing him with my soft words.

"I gave you my word," he murmured back. "I am sorry it took me so long. I would have freed you the day it happened if I could have."

Gazing up at him, I didn't quite understand why he was being so... caring? Was that even the right word? I wasn't sure, but it was so out of the ordinary that all I could do for several moments was stare. I hadn't noticed before, but sitting here with him so close allowed me to smell the blood on him. The skin on the right side of his jaw was split and bruising from what must have been someone's foot or fist, but that was all I could see. His outfit had returned to his body in one whole ensemble, so whatever damage he had taken had been while he was in his true form.

"This-" he cut himself off as his right hand left my face. The towel slid off my left shoulder at his touch, exposing what remained of my arm. He gripped my shoulder, pointedly avoiding touching the several inches of flesh I had grown back when I had been healing. It wouldn't hurt for him to touch it, but he clearly didn't know that. "This changes nothing for me. I won't discard you like Aizen did me."

His eyes were serious as he spoke, but I just stared up at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"When I lost my arm, Aizen stripped me of my status as an Espada," he explained quickly. Despite my slightly gaping mouth that should have expressed my confusion clearly, he kept talking. "I can take you to see Orihime as soon as you've recovered enough. She can bring it back like it was never gone. I would have taken you to her when you damaged your mask if you hadn't… I didn't want to break your trust."

"You want me to go see Demon Boy's mother? Are you crazy?" I asked as I leaned back slightly so I could look him up and down like he was crazy. I remembered my brief encounter with the woman in the world of the living. There was no way I was going to put myself in Demon Boy's sights on purpose. Grimmjow was crazy if he thought that was a good idea.

"Your arm- she can heal it," he said like it was obvious.

"Why would I go see her when I can heal it myself?"

"Because she can fix it in a matter of moments, not days or weeks."

"So could I if I had the energy. My arm isn't my mask, it's just a lot of flesh to regrow. I've told you before, it takes energy to heal. Do I feel like I am even remotely energized enough to heal more than I already have?"

He hesitated for a moment as his eyes trailed down to take me in. He'd seen most of me when I had been lying on the shower floor, but apparently he hadn't actually been looking at me, just at where I was. When he had left me on the couch with Raacharg, I had been covered in more charred skin than I had been in clothes.

"You didn't feel like you were in any shape to be healing earlier," he said, sounding more like he was talking to himself than he was to me. "And yet, I felt you like a beacon through the bond. How did you call me when you are in such a state?"

"I didn't call you," I mumbled. "I used two of the Caja Negacion to heal myself enough to function. That was what you felt."

His gaze flicked up to meet mine, surprise and understanding in his eyes. His right hand trailed back and softly knotted in my short locks. I could see the brewing question in his eyes as he put everything together in his head, how my hair had regrown, how the stub that was my arm was now several inches longer than it had been, and how the Caja Negacion had made it possible. I didn't want to have to fend off his words, so I answered his questions before he could ask.

"They're yours now, not mine. I only took what I needed. My arm will regrow as I regain my strength and my hair will return to its original length, as it is tied to my true form. It will just take time."

"You could heal completely if you had the power, couldn't you?" He asked as his hand tightened in my hair.

"I could, but-"

He didn't give me the chance to object as he pulled me into him, pressing the front of my body against his as his mouth covered mine. His power flowed into me through our bond, through the touch of his lips to mine, making me gasp and shudder as I was momentarily overwhelmed. His power felt like alcohol sliding down my throat, burning and numbing the empty reserves inside me as a giddy sort of haze swept my mind.

It felt good, almost too good. As his power flowed into me I felt his emotions riding the tide, pushing unfamiliar feelings into me that sank into my bones and made me want to cling to him with an equal force that he was exhibiting. I didn't give into the urge as my one hand pushed at his chest, feebly demanding a chance to speak.

"Heal," he breathed the order against my lips. I felt my will dissolve with his order even as I worked to think my way around it. So much for only ordering me to do things when he had to.

An idea surfaced as I called on my healing. I didn't have a choice- I had to heal something, but he was not very good at being specific. He must have felt me calling on that part of my power because he deepened our kiss, his hand gliding down my back so he could slide me forward until I was only perched on the very edge of the vanity and the entire front of my body was melded to his.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, finding the movement easy now that my body wasn't shaking with fatigue. It allowed me to force him to stay close as I pushed my healing into him. He shuddered against me as my power took him by surprise, but just on the heels of that pleasurable feeling was his reaction as he broke the kiss. He must have thought it was enough to stop me, but it wasn't. I pushed my healing down his hands that were still on me, and my hand that was still pressed to his chest. I forced him to accept my power and his wounds to close because he didn't know how to stop me.

"Isa," when he said my name it was as short as his slight intake of air as I closed several gashes that were out of sight and hidden under his clothes. I leaned forward to kiss the spot where the gash had been on his jaw as it too healed. The motion wasn't something I would have normally done, but he had hopped me up on his emotions and I couldn't seem to stop myself from making the affectionate gesture.

"Don't weaken yourself to fix me, Grimmjow. My purpose is to strengthen you, not to steal away your power for my own gain."

"I think you forget who is the master here," he growled. He abruptly crushed me to him and I felt my weight shift from the vanity to his grip around me. I adjusted quickly and flexed my thighs to help support my weight as he carried me out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. I started to ask him what he was doing, but he ate my words with his mouth on mine.

Effectively silenced, I did what I could and held onto him as he moved through his room. My arm slid over his shoulder and my fingers flexed into his back, but the effort wasn't needed because after only a few more steps Grimmjow's hand was guiding my legs to release him.

Finding his oversized lounger with my knees, he eased his grip until my weight was on the soft cushions instead of being supported by him.

"Turn around," he breathed against my lips. I obeyed him before I realized it had been another order that he had exhaled, but my thoughts were interrupted as he caught me and pulled my back snuggly against the front of him. With one muscled arm wrapped around my waist and his other over my chest just above my breasts, he held me against him in an embrace that was filled with so much tension that it was almost like a vice.

Almost.

I shifted against him, leaning slightly to the left so I could turn my head and gaze up at him. His right hand left my waist and he cupped my cheek, his fingers caressing my skin for only a moment before he leaned down and our mouths met once more. Unlike the last kiss, this one was burning like a fevor as his passion burned through my body. With his clothes still on, I could feel the hardened length of him pressed to my lower back. Even like this he desired me, and that thought stirred something within me. Gods, why did this man want me so much? Since I had come into his service, I had done so little to strengthen him that-

Power erupted in my chest and spread through my veins. My body arched on it's own as every muscle in my body seemed to seize. It took my eyes opening to see the bands of darkness forming around me before I realized the power was coming from a Caja Negacion. When did he have the time to fetch the pouch? I didn't have a chance to dwell on the question as I called to the power. On instinct it zapped at my bottomed out spirit energy, restoring the power I had been without for so long. It felt good like it had the first time he'd tried to imprison me inside my own tool. The sensation was made only that much better by the sensation of his arm pressing me to him and his mouth feeding at mine. Replenishing my spirit energy felt so much better than converting it into healing.

Or it did, until he pulled back in a suspiciously purposeful movement.

"Heal your arm, Isa," Grimmjow murmured the order as his hand dropped from my cheek to join his other arm around me. He secured his grip around me and instead of my body arching, he fought with the strength of my own body to keep me pressed against him. "Heal your arm, and don't stop until you're whole again."

I managed to choke out a few swear words before my will was swept away with his words. I shifted where the incoming power was going and called on my healing at his will and felt the warm pleasurable glow of my healing sweep through me. My missing arm twitched with pain as the flesh grew bit by bit, restoring the muscle, sinew and other tissues that had been missing like it was playdough being pushed through a mold. I pushed my power as long as I could, regrowing several inches of the limb until I felt like I could no longer as the power I had gained from my creation faded. I started to turn to tell Grimmjow that I had fulfilled his order as much as I could, but before I could utter the words another surge of power rocked my body.

Over and over, Grimmjow forced the Caja Negacion into me just as my power began to fade from the energy used by healing. He held me even as my body shook and sweat broke out on my skin from the effort of processing so much of my own spirit energy that was crashing through me in unforgiving waves. Even when I grasped his arm with my mostly formed hand and asked him to release me from his order, he didn't hesitate to produce another black cube and slide it into the hole in my chest. It was like an endless torrent of electricity, pleasure and pain that I had no choice but to continue until finally, after what felt like hours but was probably only minutes, my body was whole again.

A shudder ran through my body as a groan escaped my lips. I still had so much energy to process after that last Caja Negacion had allowed me to regenerate the tips of my fingers. Grimmjow must have used half a dozen of the Caja Negacion on me in the short span of time it had taken for me to restore my arm. He was a damn idiot for wasting them.

Then again, as my thoughts became my own again instead of being consumed by the sensation of my power coursing through me, I realized that some important part of me was actually happy. He may have forced me to heal like this, but he had only forced me to do what I had wanted to do myself. Yet, he'd held onto me and only now I realized he had been murmuring words of comfort the entire time.

With the renewed strength the last Caja Negacion had given me, I gripped Grimmjow's arm tighter and pulled it down my body. He must have realized that I was free from his order, because he let his muscles relax at my touch.

"Grimmjow," I breathed his name as I turned in his arms. He held another Caja Negacion in his hand like he was ready to use it, but I took it from his grip and tossed it into the pouch that was resting on the raised cushion beside him. It clinked against whatever remained of them, but I didn't pay it much mind as I finally turned all the way around.

My freshly formed arm was paler than the rest of my body and the skin was soft with the lack of the hard earned calluses that it previously had. I used that foreign hand to reach up and trace a delicate line from his forehead and down to his mask where I traced the edge of its teeth, threatening to break my freshly formed skin on the sharp points of its teeth. He caught my hand before I could make myself bleed, but as he opened his mouth to most likely chastise me, my other hand slipped into his hair and I pulled him down to meet me.

If this had been happening before he had made me heal, I might have had reservations. The first time we had sex had been a bit of a slip. I hadn't intended to let him bed me so easily, but those emotions of his were so heady and his hands, gods… Those reservations were gone now. I was drunk on the power that I was still processing, and it made my thoughts swirl around the man I was bound to rather than the more important things that I should have been worrying about. What those important things were, I couldn't seem to come up with right now, but I knew there had to be more important things to be thinking about.

Still pressed firmly against him, I could tell that forcing me to heal hadn't been something he enjoyed. No, it felt like doing it had wounded some part of him to order me like he had. Knowing that, the small part of me that had been displeased eased and I slipped my hands under his jacket, pushed it off his shoulders and down his arms to pool behind him. He had been almost stiff under my touch as I moved, but when my hands found his chest again and tugged on the zipper that bound his shirt to him he understood what I was doing and covered my hands with his.

"I couldn't stand for you to be like that," he said softly. "I know I told you that I wouldn't order you unless I absolutely had too, but knowing you could be whole again but hadn't done it- because the Caja Negacion were mine and not yours- I won't let that stand."

Unsure azure eyes met my own, but they quickly sharpened when he realized that I was giving him a look that was meant just for this room. Well, I hoping it was coming across that way. I had never really been one for bedroom eyes.

Not until him…

"I'm not looking for an apology, Grimmjow. You are the master in this relationship, and the Caja Negacion are yours to do with what you please. I may think it a waste, but they are not mine to be accountable for anymore. They're yours, just like I am."

I leaned forward, finding his neck with my mouth to nip at his sensitive flesh in a trail that lead down to his collarbone.

"Isa," he growled. His hands lifted from mine to push me back so he could look at me once more, but it just freed my hands to continue what they had been doing.

"You kept your word," I said before he could continue as my hands worked at his zipper until I had it undone and had the scarred expanse of his chest and abdomen exposed. "You pulled me from the darkness when I could not. You kept my Adjuchas, my humanity, safe when I could not. You even put me above yourself when you did whatever the hell it was that you had to do to get a Soul Reaper to free me. That's more than any one has done for me in a thousand years. What you just did, forcing me to heal with an order, that just displays what lengths you went to save me."

"Wed the bond with me."

I didn't think he could say anything that would have stopped my actions cold, but he found something. My gaze lost focus as my thoughts got hung up on those few words. His voice replayed in my head several times, but no matter how many times I heard it, I couldn't seem to come up with a response. Wed the bond? He was really asking me that? I had made it clear that it wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

"I know you denied me before, but I didn't fully understand what it meant then. I do now, Isa."

As he said my name, he tilted my head back and coaxed me to meet his azure gaze. His eyes were steady- calm but serious in a way that made something inside my chest tighten and ease at the same time.

"We can't-"

"Yes, we can. I am not your God Maker, but that doesn't matter. He died, you lived, and now you're mine." His hand slid back until he was covering my spine with his hand, and his thumb gently massaged where it transitioned into the trails of bone that my feathers formed from. How could he want someone like me? Sure, I'd shared myself with him in ways that only the God Maker had known, but that shouldn't have been enough.

"I'm broken-"

"That doesn't matter to me," he interrupted again. "Broken or not, you're mine and even though you're only now capable of responding to me, I've been waiting months to make you more than just mine. I want you all to myself."

His usually azure eyes were darker with the heat that was brewing in their depths. The intensity of his gaze made me swallow hard. Whatever he saw as he gazed down at me must have been encouraging because his head tilted forward and his nose bumped against mine before our foreheads touched. I closed my eyes, feeling more like I was hiding behind my eyelids than savoring the touch like he was probably doing. Geeze, way to go Isa. You've never been a coward before, but you sure were acting like one now!

"I can't give you what Loly and her blonde friend have," I said slowly. It was a guess that it was what he was thinking, but when he stiffened slightly, I knew I had been right. I licked my lips slowly as I picked my words. I had been avoiding telling Grimmjow why wedding our bond wasn't an option. Apparently, that hadn't been such a good idea. Somehow, I had left him under the impression that wedding our bond was the best thing since sliced bread and granola bars.

"We can't wed the bond," I continued, my voice soft.

"You've never left any of your masters. You aren't going to change that by leaving me. You're loyal, and I won't let you," he said, his voice confident.

"You're my master. I won't leave unless you make me. But wedding the bond isn't an option."

"I know it will hurt you to fix your bond-"

"That's not it," I said, my voice raised to speak over him. My heart was pounding in my ears as adrenaline shocked through my veins. Why didn't I want to tell him? It was such a stupid feeling. I didn't understand what sort of emotion it was, but I sure didn't like the way it made my body react.

"You feel guilty, why?"

Of course Grimmjow would know how I was feeling. These damned emotions were his doing. Ugh. Tell him the truth, part of it, or to lie? Gods, this was stupid.

"If we wed the bond and I get lost, you might not be able to pull me back," I said, settling on the truth. I pushed down against his fingers that were still under my chin until he let me hide my face from his view. He didn't pull back though and instead shifted so his chin rested on the top of my head. It was an awfully affectionate gesture that I hated. It wasn't his movement that I hated though, it was the sinking sensation in my chest that strengthened with it. I did not like feeling guilt. It was stupid. "It might be a few hours that I am lost, or years, or… forever. I'm not willing to back to being Isabellia forever, Grimmjow. I like myself as I am now, as the person that Raacharg has allowed me to be. If our bond is wed, then you'll lose the ability to order me back. You won't be able to keep me as I am- not if I'm too broken to save."

"You said that you weren't smart. I didn't realize it until now exactly what you meant by that, but you really are dumb in some ways."

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Do you really think that I haven't considered that?" He sounded offended, but the tone of his voice didn't translate into his body. "You flat out told me what set you off balance. I am the reason you're broken, but it's not my bond. It's yours."

I leaned back slowly, but he only let me go so far before the bands of muscles in his arms flexed and he stopped me from going further.

"I can't fix my bond," I said, my voice trailing off for a moment as I picked my words. "I shredded it, but what remains is still fused to yours. It's why I can't help but flinch most times when I am searching for your bond. On instinct, I go for my own and it lashes out before I can catch myself."

"I know," he murmured. His voice drew me to meet his gaze, and my will almost crumbled with its intensity. "I've felt it. That's why I want to break my bond. If it's clean, just my bond to you, then we will know if you're really broken."

"How do you know that?" I asked, my voice cracking a little. "I've never told you, and I haven't told Raacharg that much. So, how do you know?"

"He says you showed him everything."

"Showed, yes. I didn't actually teach him everything though. I just showed him my memories. He isn't an Arrancar, he isn't ready to know all that he can be capable of."

"Maybe your Adjuchas deserves a bit more recognition from you. You may have given me the power and started the bond, but he was the catalyst that started the chain reaction of our progress."

I didn't know what to say. I really didn't. Did he even know what breaking a bond entailed? Was it just some ploy for him to abandon me?

I shook myself as I mentally slapped away the negative thoughts that had been running through my mind. After everything he had done for me, he wouldn't just drop me.

He wanted me.

Not just for power, but… for me.

"Isa," he murmured, his thumb gently moving in circles against my skin. "You're stuck with me. I am not going to let you go. I don't even think I could if I tried."

I swallowed down a lump that had formed in my throat before my hand trailed up to rest over his shoulder. Once upon a time he'd asked me to trust him, and I had. This was no different, and I trusted now even more than I had back then.

Finding comfort in that thought I finally met his azure gaze, feeling more certain than I had about any other decision I had made in the last thousand years.

"I guess I'll have to teach you how to break a bond then," I murmured as I leaned forward and brushed his lips with mine.