This is the first fanfiction I have ever written, so please bear with clumsy expressions and a not so smooth flow. Also English isn't my first language. You have been warned.

IMPORTANT: HEAVY SPOILERS FOR GOD EATER 2: RAGE BURST

Silence…

The only sound her beating heart and shallow breathing.

Blank…

The only thing on her mind the terrible fear gripping on every fibre of her being. Fear of losing him yet again. Fear of not being able to save him again. Fear of never seeing him again.

After Rachel's last futile attempt to use Julius as the singularity and start the devouring apocalypse anew, after weeks of looking for a way to save both Julius and the world, after countless battles fought to get to the top of the spiral tree, after all the panic, fear, hurt and desperation… After all this, she could do no more than stare at the lifeless body lying in her arms.

Unmoving…

Cold…

Was this really it? Was this how the story was going to end? Was she really .. never going to see him again? Reika's mind drifted back to memories shared with Julius; him lying in a bed of grass, surrounded by ever so beautiful flowers in vibrant colours, welcoming her into their midst. The way he looked at her when he flung out his arm to protect Nana and her from an oncoming Aragami attack, keeping a straight face the whole time, all calm and collected like the selfless leader he was. The barely visible, small smile he let slip whenever he was impressed by her resolve. Lingering looks and handshakes that shouldn't have lasted that long. How his dirty blonde hair moved in the wind as he said goodbye and left her at the carrier, alone with her thoughts and only the descending sun to keep her company.

Rachel's menacing words rang hollow in the back of her head.

"If you didn't truly wish to part with him, you should have told him long ago."

Reika gripped Julius' body tighter, pressed him even closer to her chest. As she buried her head in his hair, she breathed in. She breathed in and his familiar scent filled her nostrils. So familiar. It hurt. It hurt so much. The guilt started to spread inside her body like a virus, eating away at her very being. Before she realised, she was crying. She was the captain and it wasn't at all professional to lose her composure in front of her unit like this but Reika couldn't hold it in anymore. Couldn't be strong anymore.

Ciel, who was the first to take a step towards their captain and Julius crouched on the floor put a tentative hand on Reika's shoulder. Though she wasn't the best at expressing emotions she cared deeply for both the captain and Julius. So much that she couldn't bear witnessing Reika slowly crumble in front of her.

"Captain."

No answer.

"Captain, it would be wise to return to base. It is not safe staying here for longer."

No answer.

"I know you are upset. All of us are. We all cared deeply for Julius. It is .. saddening to see our objective to save him has fail-"

"…el was right."

"Pardon, captain?"

Reika's voice was quiet, unsteady. "Rachel.. She was right. We should have told him." Suddenly her head snapped up and she turned around. "I should have told him!" she shouted at Ciel who had retracted her hand out of surprise by the sheer force of emotions displayed on Reika's face.

"I should have told him the day he decided to leave. That I didn't want him to go. That I could help.. He shouldn't have shouldered all of this alone! Why... Why did I..." Her voice broke and tears started falling as she turned to look back at Julius.

"Why didn't I do anything to stop you back then..? This is all my fault..."

Now solely speaking to Julius' still unmoving form, she started tracing the features of his face with her ungloved hand, her tears falling onto his forehead, all the while whispering apologies and meaningless questions into his hair. The guilt and devastation ate at her, the "what if..." questions the only thing running through her head. Her mind was so occupied that she didn't notice the hand that was slowly lifting and came to a halt at her right cheek. Surprised by the touch Reika's eyes shot open and her mouth closed.

"None of this is your fault .. captain."

Ciel, Nana, Gil and Livie all let out a gasp at the same time.

Julius slowly opened his eyes, hazy grey staring into deep blue. Reika was too shocked to react. She must be hallucinating. This couldn't be real. But there he was, still cradled in her arms. Warm, breathing, alive. A few seconds of silence, then the tears started streaming down Reika's face again." I thought I lost you. We all thought we lost you. I thought we were too late.. I thought I was never going to see you again."

Never having lost her cool to this extend even Julius would have been dumbfounded weren't it for the fact that he was so very exhausted and tired. His hand slowly reached from Reika's cheek to her hair in an attempt to pat her head reassuringly, but she reacted by bowing her head down to let their foreheads touch, sobs still shaking her small form.

"I was so, so terrified Julius. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you .. again."

"I'm sorry, Reika. For troubling you like that."

Her head shot back up – It was the first time he ever called her by her first name. It was either Vice-Captain or Captain before, regardless the situation. He was always professional, always maintained a safe distance. She understood and accepted that. Still, hearing him say her name, especially after she thought she'd never even get to see him again was like .. like a deep-seated warmth spread through her. Content and happy, calming and exciting at the same time. This was neither the time nor the place to be doing this but…

Her eyes searched his, blue boring into grey, trying to reach his very core. And then it wasn't her who moved.

Julius slightly pushed himself off the ground to meet her and his soft lips touched hers. Slowly, tentatively, uncaring about professionalism, onlookers or the fact that they were still crouching in a literal nest of dangerous Aragami. It was all she ever imagined it to be and even more than she ever dared to wish for; To hold Julius in her arms, to feel his warmth, his hot breath on her face and his emotions flowing right into her through that kiss. That one kiss that neither wanted to break out of fear that it was all a dream after all. His hand tangled in her soft locks and her heartbeat matching his, they explored each other's mouths. As the need for air became too great they slowly broke apart, only for Reika to catch Julius' lips once again. A more desperate kiss it was this time, pouring all the need, loss, fear, sadness and relief into it, trying to make him understand just how much his life meant to her and how much his departure left her devastated. In the end, it was Livie who interrupted them.

"I'm sorry, Captain, but we need to leave. Don't want to have come all this way just to be eaten by some Aragami." Her tone flat, she shot both Julius and her a short look before joining the rest of the unit who, apparently, had moved a bit further away to give their captain a bit of privacy.

Trying to compose herself and fill in her role as the leader of Blood Special Forces Unit again, Reika took a deep breath and nodded at Livie before turning back to Julius. The moment they shared was special and both of them knew that when they were safe and sound back at the base there would be enough time to talk about it. But for now they had to get out of here.

"Can you stand?" she asked, not being able to hide the look of worry that crossed her face.

"I am tougher than you think, Captain." Julius replied with a forced chuckle that was meant to ease her worries.

Not wanting to discuss this any further Reika slung his right arm over her shoulder to help him stand and guided him back to the rest of their unit who all welcomed him with a warm smile and cheerful "Welcome back!". The smile on Julius' face was more than enough to warm Reika's heart and let her have hope that maybe everything was going to turn out fine after all.

It's not like she hasn't thought about abandoning her life as a God Eater and living a normal life. Maybe even start a family… Who knows what could become of-

*Knock Knock*

Her train of thought was interrupted by two soft knocks on her door. With a sigh she got up from her bed and went over to the door to open it, only to have the very person she was thinking about a second ago standing before her. "Julius.." she breathed out, suddenly feeling a little nervous. It was late evening, why was he visiting her at this hour?

"I am sorry if I disturbed you, Captain. There is something I wish to speak to you about. May I come in?"

Reika nodded, a tad confused by his serious tone, stepping aside to let him in nonetheless. He slowly went to the midst of her room and stopped, looking around. "Let's sit down." she said, moving to the bed and gesturing to him to do the same. After hesitating for a split second he took a seat next to her.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"We lost our armlets. We are .. free, so to speak. Is this the kind of freedom you've yearned for?"

Reika was silent for a while, contemplating her answer. Was it? Was this what she's been dreaming of? The "freedom" she was fighting for? To leave behind her friends, her comrades, the citizens of the outer ghetto.. To get away from death, fighting and risky missions every day. Was this really what she wanted?

"I…" she paused.

"I've thought about it." Julius started again and his statement made Reika look his way, surprise written all over her face. That of all the people, Julius would be one to even think about abandoning his life as a God Eater was something she hadn't pictured at all.

"I.. WE were forced into this. We didn't have a choice. Because of that I've often imagined what my life would be like if I hadn't been compatible. If I had led a normal, "peaceful" life. Nevertheless .. at one point I am sure I would have tried to become a God Eater anyway." He turned his head and smiled at her. "To be able to help people, to protect them. To be the one that makes living a normal peaceful life possible... That is what truly gives me strength. That is what I want to fight for."

All the while listening to him, a smile spread on Reika's face as she studied Julius. His strong conviction and ambition to protect the people and this earth without the blink of an eye was one of the things that made her fall for him. Suddenly she felt something grab her hand and looked up, confusion evident in her eyes. Julius' hand was holding hers and he was looking at her with a soft expression, yet still remaining serious.

"To fight for a safe place for our .. future is what I want to do."

Reika's muscles tensed, her grip on Julius' hand tightening. Was that...? Did he…? To say she was moved would have been an understatement. But instead of getting sentimental she placed her free hand on top of their intertwined ones, meeting Julius' eyes head on with a determination behind that look so fierce no one would have dared to contradict her or tell her otherwise.

"Me too. I also want to fight for the people's future. The world's future! Our future… After all we've been through together, I am sure that all of us; you, Nana, Gil, Livie, Romeo, me and all of our other friends from the Far East can overcome anything if we work together. I can't leave something that precious and important behind. I can't leave you behind..."

She smiled reassuringly at the man in front of her, whose dirty blonde hair had fallen into his face – caused by him ducking his head a little and letting out a small chuckle.

"You never fail to impress me, Reika." he said with such adoration in his voice that she could feel her cheeks get warm.

"S-Stop."

"No. Not after I've been on the brink of death. Not after all of you risked so much to bring me back. I ran away like the fool I am once already. I am not making the same mistake twice." His voice was laced with guilt and hurt but he quickly composed himself and returned Reika's look. His free hand moved to her cheek and his slender fingers gently caressed her face.

"So that is why…" He stopped, searching her eyes for any kind of doubt or hesitation, but after he found neither he slowly moved closer to her, all the while not breaking eye contact.

"That is why I won't run anymore."

Slowly, he started crossing the few inches that separated their faces but stopped right before her mouth. Reika's breathing quickened, she could feel his breath on her slightly parted lips, a pleasant shiver of anticipation running down her neck.

"I love you, Reika."

And then he closed the remaining distance and joined their lips together in a tender kiss, full of love and longing. Months of holding back, relief of finally being together again, all of these different emotions were pouring into the kiss from both sides so that it quickly became more passionate and needy than any of them had anticipated. His hands found their way into her hair again, slightly pulling on the soft locks. Her own hands were clutching at his sides, her eyes squeezed close – relishing in this oh so amazing feeling that started to build up inside her as Julius skilfully licked his way inside her mouth, exploring every small detail, marking her as his own. Over and over again did his lips brush over hers, trying to reassure her that he was, in fact, not going anywhere. Reassuring her that he was to stay with her, for now and forever. After a long while of exchanging kiss after kiss, both of them opted for lying back on the bed, Reika's head on Julius' chest and his arm wrapped securely around her. Never again was he letting her go. This feeling .. was something he's never felt before. He's never felt this happy, this alive before. And it was all thanks to her.

Before soon they started to get sleeping, cuddling up to each other even more and pulling the blanket over their heads. Just before he was drifting off to sleep, Julius felt Reika shift underneath the covers, her face now positioned in the crook of his neck, right beneath his ear.

"I love you too, Julius."