Burnt Okonamiyaki Productions
"Fanfiction grilled to perfection!"
In association with Mei Ogiso
The CC Corporation
And one too many Aromatic Grass joints :D
Present
.hack//lovebug
L33T 615KL41M3R: Bandai owns the rights to .hack, and the infamous CC Corporation (Cyber-Connect) created it - I'm just messing with the data, and do not mean to challenge Bandai's copyright. Please don't Data Drain me, I can't write in a coma. Mi casa es Tsukasa.
No, I don't know the "official" real names of anyone but Orca. The doujinshi version of this... in raw Japanese... is going to be my final for my class, hence my teacher's name in the credits. New to version 2.75: If you split all the infinitives in this fic, you will receive 15 Holy Sap! - okay, bad pun. With no further ado...
* * * * *
Players in over their heads are not rare in The World Online. Anyone who doesn't understand the keyword system will die a horrific, gruesome death. (Then they'll grumble. Then wonder whether or not to make their next character a Wavemaster or a Heavy Blade.) What was rare was for these two particular players to be up Aqua Field without a Health Drink.
"FIGHT, FIGHT, COME ON AND FIGHT!"
Kite lurched over. The VR helmet he used couldn't simulate pain well - just a vibration at his temples. But the vibrations were strong enough and common enough for him to know that he was trouble. He slashed through one of the many, huge monsters around them. "This isn't easy, BlackRose!" he said.
"Shut up and fight, Kite!" BlackRose snarled, before a floating trio of knives stabbed her in the back. She fell with a cry. Crimson numbers flared: 167 damage, nearly half her life.
Kite shouted "OL REPTH!" and pointed one of his daggers at BlackRose, feeling nothing but seeing green, healing energy swoop to BlackRose. "Are you all right?" BlackRose stared at him, eyes narrow, and turned, without a word, back to the battle.
"No, it's really nothing," Kite said, smiling.
* * * * *
3455 monster's hit points (and one Data Drain) later, BlackRose opened a treasure chest and choked in glee. "WOW! This is really expensive stuff!" She lifted a Heavy Blade sword from the chest, waving it with one hand. "Let's get back to the Root Town. I love this game!"
Kite said "Yeah. Good game." BlackRose laughed in response, and the voice recognition wrote it as "^_^." Kite stared at the emote, hanging in the air as writing, reminding him that this was a game, and that the smiling, giggling face, the tanned skin, and pink tattoos and shining hair, the rose-vine patterned tights and spiked armor - all of this wasn't BlackRose, but her avatar, the deliberately molded skin of a player. It made Kite uncomfortable. "Say, B'rose?" he said.
BlackRose turned, hissing and arching her shoulder. "That's BLACK Rose! What do you want?" she said. Kite shivered.
"No, it's nothing..."
"You did NOT just say 'It's nothing' to ME!" BlackRose strode towards Kite, hands on her hips, distorting her back and face.
Kite shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."
BlackRose blinked, and shrunk from her arched-hackle body into a softer pose. "I kind of figured, but I'd like to hear."
Kite gulped. "B...blackRose?"
BlackRose leaned in. The game world recorded them as inches away. "Yes?"
"BlackRose, are you really a girl?"
The only sound that Kite could hear was the game music It embedded itself into his brain as BlackRose stared at him. Then BlackRose's shoulders rose to her ears. Kite rolled out of the way of her sword just in time.
"WHAT did you just say!?" she cried, the sounds mutating somewhere between her throat, her microphone, and her modulated character voice.
"Wait, wait! I mean that your character is a girl!" Kite rose up, sliding away from her. "And mine is a boy! But am I a boy? A girl? A little old lady with blue hair wash? How can you tell? Can you see what I'm asking?"
"I am a GIRL!" BlackRose shouted. "I am MORE girl than YOU can HANDLE! I am likely the MOST girl you'll see in your LIFE!"
"Oh. Thank you." Kite blinked, alien thoughts entering his mind.
"Furthermore, I..." BlackRose blinked and turned. "Thank you?"
"Well, I... I'd very much like to come to your place. Y'know, offline."
Kite didn't realize that he had wanted it until he said it - he wanted to meet the goddess in the machine, BlackRose's creator, somehow confusing her with BlackRose herself - a perfect name, Black Rose: she was unique, with thorns that bit but elegance and beauty that paid for the hurt thousands of times over...
He blinked and turned away. He felt BlackRose staring at his back through the eyes of The World.
"That... might be... um, difficult." Again, her shoulders rose. Then she spun on her simulated heel. "Well, I'm off to Mac Anu!" she said, anaerobic chokes of laughter peppering Kite's view with ^_^; emotes.
"Wait!" She turned to look and Kite fought to remember his words. "By the way, I, um, really am a boy."
BlackRose smiled. "I know. Only a boy would be THAT blunt." A shimmering Chaos Gate slid over her. "Buh bye."
The World told Kite in big block letters: BLACKROSE HAS LEFT THE WORLD.
"Good bye B'rose," Kite sighed. "Altimit, please log me off."
* * * * *
The gate passed over him and Kite was gone, replaced with a bland boy named Toshiio. KITE HAS LEFT THE WORLD, the computer reminded Toshiio as he removed his VR visor. PLEASE COME AGAIN SOON. Toshiio hung his head and sighed.
* * * * *
FROM: [email protected]
SUBJECT: Your Offer
Is Saturday after school okay? Reply and I'll give you more info.
Good God, Kite, what are we doing...?
Toshiio stared at the e-mail message until he could have seen the phosphors glow through his eyelids, then did the only think he could do to respond.
"YEEEEESS!"
* * * * *
A burly man answered the door. Toshiio scratched the back of his head. "I'm a, a friend of yo- your daughter," he said, the words splintering on his throat.
Thankfully, the adult did not dispute his garbled claim. He raised his eyebrows. "Is that so?" he said, before turning inside. "Hanako! Someone to see you!"
"Oh! Just a minute!" said a voice Toshiio recognized. Soon afterwards, a girl made a tentative step out the door.
She was taller than Toshiio, reminding him that she was at least a year her senior, and possibly two. Her shampoo and wardrobe were both lavender, the one in scent, the other in color: she wore a soft furred wool sweater, and a sky blue, simple dress. A heart locket dangled from her neck. And her face... her face was exactly like...
Toshiio averted his eyes.
"Have a good time," Hanako's father said, and shut the door.
Hanako stared, eyes shifted down, at Toshiio. "So you're... um... 'Kite,'" she said.
"Yeah." Toshiio smiled without looking at her. "Toshiio offline."
Hanako nodded, saving it to disk, Toshiio hoped. "And, um... wow," he said, "did anyone tell you you look just like...? The face, I mean, just like BlackRose?"
It was. Her face lacked the tan tone or the shrimp-pink body-paint or hair, but it had long bangs in the front, the same softness to the eyes. Hanako said, "Is that so," without enough energy for a question mark.
Her mouth twisted incrementally. Frown or smile? Toshiio re-channeled his thoughts. "I mean, I think it's... kind of cute."
"Don't. Just don't."
Toshiio head slacked downwards. "M'sorry."
Hanako responded with a sniff and a smile. "It's all right."
Toshiio scratched the back of his neck. "Ah, so, what do you want to do?"
Hanako turned to him to blink. "I dunno. You?"
"Me? That's a difficult question..." Toshiio swiveled his head. Sighted something. Smiled. "Ah, got it!"
* * * * *
Hanako, smiling, threw the ball in the air. Brandished her weapon. Swung. Hit true. "Forty, serving love!"
Toshiio dived for the ball, and swung, smashing the air. Then he looked at the ball at his feet and groaned as Hanako giggled. "Game over again! I think you might make it to Wimbledon after all..."
"But in the meantime, kicking you while you're down made me hungry," Hanako said.
A woman wearing a ribbon and a bandoleer over her uniform was selling snow-cones near the court. Hanako settled the question of payment by counting out exact change for one cone: "One forty, one forty-five yen." They walked back to the court, Toshiio taking a big bite out of his cone and letting it liquefy into essence on his tongue. Strawberry essence.
Hanako took a look at her snow-cone, covered in gelatinous, oozing condensed milk. "Darn," she said. "I should have got the strawberry, too."
Toshiio's response was reflexive. "Oh, you want some of mine?"
Hanako stopped and stared at his cone. The cone that he had taken a big bite out of. Which Toshiio's lips had touched. Had kissed.
Toshiio blinked and retracted his hand. He could feel his face venting energy. "Sorry, stupid question," Toshiio said. "I didn't mean it like that..."
"Thanks anyway..." Hanako said, dropping her shoulders.
"Yeah, I know, I know." Toshiio sat down on the pavement. "Let's finish these up and get back to my execution."
* * * * *
"Here I come!" said Hanako with a panther's grin.
"Okay!" Toshiio's racquet cubed the air with a "whiff" noise.
"Love, all!" Hanako's serve was violent, and homing in on Toshiio - he whipped his racquet in front of his face as a shield and the ball rebounded off it into the net. Toshiio gasped for air.
"Hang on!" he said.
Hanako laughed. "You want my slooooowest serve, Toshiio?"
Toshiio angled his face on a point below his nose. "Dammit, the last time I practiced this was when I was ten," he said.
"It's 'The World Online,'" Hanako said. "You wake up, you go to school, you return, you eat, you log on, you go back to sleep, and you don't practice."
"You seem to be logged on a lot too, 'BlackRose,'" Toshiio said.
Hanako recoiled, mouth slightly open. Toshiio glanced behind him, scratching his neck and thinking. Which word was the insult?
He turned back to Hanako, staring in his eyes.
She said, "I ain't BlackRose, 'Kite.'"
Toshiio blinked, shook his head, laughed, then stopped because it might have been painful. "I ...see," he said. He didn't.
"...though sometimes..." Hanako shook her head.
Toshiio almost didn't hear. But he leaned in, and looked at Hanako, arms apart. "What?" he asked.
"...it's nothing. No, really, it's nothing," Hanako said, eyes shifting to the net, the ball, the court boundary lines, Toshiio, and the racquet she was tapping on the clay.
"A good friend of mine," Toshiio said, "told me that 'you don't just say "it's nothing."' Let's talk."
Hanako's hand tightened on her racquet. "I don't want to talk about it," she said.
"Uh-huh. She also said 'but I want to hear' when I said the same words. What's bothering you."
Hanako vented air and spun around. She turned her head back to Toshiio.
She said, "This is beginning to get uncomfortable."
"Hanako."
It wasn't plea, rebuke or question, but eloquent enough. Hanako dropped her haunches, her racquet hanging to her hand by three threads of flesh and bone. "It's just..." she said.
Toshiio nodded. "Well?"
Hanako turned back to him. "I love being BlackRose. Being brave. Dangerous. Vibrant."
"Rude," Toshiio added.
"I like that a bit too," Hanako agreed, then laughed, then sighed. "In 'The World Online,' no one knows who you are. I love this little undocumented feature, but I..." she paused, curling and opening the hand hovering in front of her face.
"Yes?" Toshiio said, wondering if he should touch her hand.
Hanako sighed again. "...she isn't me. She was never me."
Toshiio knew what she didn't want to say: And I wish you'd understand that. But he did. He pinned his laughter to the throat, and thought.
"I see," he said. "You aren't BlackRose. But... BlackRose is you, isn't she?"
Hanako sighed and stroked her temple. "What does that mean?"
"Well, I am not Kite. By no means am I Kite!" Toshiio rolled his eyes and rubbed his neck, then turned back to Hanako. "But his personality is defined by me and mine, right? He's brave for me, loyal for me. So BlackRose has life beyond you, created by you - to be brave for you, dangerous for you, vibrant for you. And more than a little annoying for you, but hey, I like you annoying me any day."
Toshiio stopped. Blinked. Reddened. Wrapped his head in his arms and groaned. "Damn, I said that out loud!" he said.
Hanako looked down at her feet, blinking, her diaphragm twisting in the wind. "Aaand on that note," she said, "let's end the conversation... and continue play?"
Toshiio scratched his head. "Let's. Please."
* * * * *
It was afternoon in Mac Anu, as always, and players with avatars in improbable costumes were haggling for rare and potent artifacts. Kite stretched and waited.
Seconds later, Toshiio almost thought he could feel the soft condensing energy of a Chaos Gate opening behind Kite. He didn't even look behind him. He knew who it was.
"All right, let's get moving!" BlackRose said with a barbaric grin. "Where are we off to?"
"Piros is holding an online party at Vak Anu Hall," Kite said. "Of course, he said it as 'Thee of fair eyes, you would do me honor to join my revels at Vak Anu Hall.'"
BlackRose paused, one hand on her character class' namesake. "What should I expect from an online party?" she said.
The computer translated her tone as a O_o;. Hanako had taken control. Wisely.
"What is it?" Kite smiled. "Exactly the same as an offline party - only no one is drunk." He laughed, releasing a cloud of ^_^ emotes.
"Great!" BlackRose grabbed Kite's hand. Toshiio felt it as an intactile wall barring his movement. "Enter the keywords and go!"
When they got there, the partygoers were chaos barely bound. Piros was singing a love song to Mistral in classical language, something about "azure oceans" and "slaying dragons," as Mistral bled ^_^; and said, "But I'm married offline." Elk laughed with Mia, stretching and purring on her seat. Sanjuro dueled Natsume, and Gardenia swayed on her feet, holding a flagon and singing "BEER AND HUNKS! BEER AND HUNKS!" as loudly as she could. Many other players they didn't know were romancing, talking, trading, and dueling, in a space no bigger than the Chaos Gate's enclosure.
BlackRose and Kite surveyed the room. One large O_o; condensed above them.
"I thought you said 'no one is drunk online,'" BlackRose said.
"I... think Gardenia's roleplaying," Kite said.
Soon enough, Piros clapped his hands, calling for everyone present who could "charm the ear with music." This was a cue to dance. Soon the room was full of dancing avatars - including Balmung, resigned to waltzing with an inebriated Gardenia.
BlackRose extended her hand. "'Shall we dance, Mr. Sugiyama?'" she quoted. Kite nodded and stepped up, taking her one arm and hovering around BlackRose's hip with the other. BlackRose snorted - a -_- emote - and slammed his hand on his hip, just above an armor plate. BlackRose led, and the two spun. BlackRose rest her head on Kite's shoulder and sighed. "I loooove this game," she said.
Toshiio blinked, then looked around through Kite's eyes at the party. "Weird," he said.
"What?" BlackRose snorted. "Me?"
"Not you," Toshiio said. BlackRose stuck out her tongue. "Our avatars are so close, and we can't feel a thing. Weird, isn't it?"
Toshiio didn't know if it was Hanako or BlackRose who answered. "Is that so?"
"I suppose it's a weird question," Toshiio said with a laugh.
Hanako blinked, looking around the room, at Kite's hand resting in comfort on her avatar's hip, and her hand on his, and the other dancing avatars. Toshiio watched her, wondering what she was planning.
BlackRose kissed Kite on the lips.
Toshiio knew he was alone on the other end of a broadband connection, but he couldn't help but open his mouth and grasp at air, test forward, rock forward and back with the movements of his and Hanako's avatars. He opened his eyes at last, plunged back into The World Online. Elk and Mia were staring at them. Piros bowed deep to them. Others watched or chose to be oblivious.
"...could you feel that?" Hanako said. Her chuckle translated to a ^_- and she held tighter.
"No," Toshiio said. "...But my heart is still pounding."
"Nnn." Hanako let her avatar's head droop deeper. "No one knows who we are."
"I know," Toshiio said. He took a deep breath. "We have got to try that again." BlackRose smiled and leaned in. "Only, offline," Toshiio said, a ^_^; materializing next to him.
Hanako withdrew her avatar, looking straight through Kite to Toshiio. Then she leaned next to her ear.
"Please wait," she said, then sighed. "I'm not BlackRose. I... want this to happen offline, too. But wait."
Toshiio smiled. He wrapped Kite's arms around her. "I understand, Hanako. I understand."
THE END
Authors Notes:
School is held in Japan at 8 AM to 3 PM on weekdays, and from 8 to 12 Saturday.
Why tennis? Apart from all the "Love all!" jokes, when you play .hack//INFECTION, shower BlackRose with gifts and find out. In fact, shower EVERYONE with gifts. Piros just asked me what I thought about computer games in general. DAMMIT, PIROS, DROP CHARACTER!
The simple rule of thumb with yen-to-dollar conversion is "move the decimal point two places right." The snow-cones cost $1.45, give or take a penny - not bad for Tokyo.
A free joint of Aromatic Grass to the one who tells me who the snow-cone lady is. Chibi hinttu: what's the name of my production company?
Don't ever try condensed milk snow-cones. Trust me. It's not worth it.
The Japanese indirect kiss. Know it. Love it. Use it in romantic comedies. They're lots of fun.
I don't care if it's MEANT to be ambiguous, I'm calling the MMORPG in .hack "The World Online" in all of my .hack fanfics. Choke on it.
Ask a programmer what an "undocumented feature" usually is, if you don't get that joke.
Don't get Gardenia drunk. Ever. While you're at it, watch "Shall We Dansu?"
Comments and constructive criticism is welcome. Flames (VAK KRUZ!) will be extinguished (RUE ROM!) and ignored. Vague praise (Continue plz!) is almost as bad as flames, so if you have something good to say, say it about something specific.