Edited: 26/04/2020 for grammar and changing how characters acted towards the end with regards to the pandemonium of the situation. Trying to bring the tone of the story more intone with a serious drama that I'm going for.

Pretty much a crackfic, I want to add I don't have too much experience with RWBY characters so they might be a bit off but I will try.

I obviously do not own RWBY besides that let's go,

Drunken Marriage Bargain

Jaune heart raced in anticipation, adrenaline flowing through his veins. The sharp snaps of his armour straps were the only noise in the changing room but it was blocked out by his racing heart. Giving his armour light taps to ensure they had been strapped on correct and would not budge. He glanced over at his trusty sword in its sheath, unsheathing it glimmered in the changing room before extending his shield. He gave himself one more quick look over before his hand tightened on the hilt of his sword as he released a long kept in a breath.

"You can do this" he muttered to himself encouragingly as his heart continued racing. He opened the doors of the changing room to walk out and onto the arena. His arch-nemesis stood there with his cocky grin and mace casually lying on his shoulder. Even when he saved Cardin's life their rivalry in the arena continued but Cardin's bullying at least did. His eyes flicked to the corner he could see his trainer and confidence Pyrrha as well as Ren, Nora and Team RWBY.

"Come on Jaune! You can do it!" Ruby the bubbly leader of their sister team encouraged him

"Kick his ass!" Yang shouted with encouragement

"Break his legs Jaune Jaune!" the over-energetic Nora shouted, Pyrrha and Ren offered him small smiles of encouragement. Blake was content to let others do the cheering for her while Weiss seemed a bit miffed at her friends overly loud encouragement but she would begrudgingly support the blonde over Cardin.

"How will this be any different than any time he fought Cardin?" Weiss tried to be realistic

"I have faith in him" Pyrrha replied calmly and with certainty which earned a cocked eyebrow from the heiress little did the other know during the break between the first and second semester Pyrrha had been training Jaune as they both stayed at beacon during the holiday. To say Jaune had improved by leaps and bounds would have been an understatement since they had nothing else to do but train and study she improved Jaunes stamina and technique.

The two exchanged looks, none spoke they didn't need to. Cardin had a begrudging respect for Jaune when he stood and saved him from the Ursa and plus what would trash-talking do any good? It never earned any point with Goodwitch she hated it if anything. The blonde witch stood gazing imposingly over the two competitors.

"Mr Winchester, Mr Arc are you ready?" Miss Goodwitch, she just earned two nods from the fighters. Jaune took a combat stance, legs spread and shoulder braced against his shield while Cardin lowered his mace so that it rested in both of his hands.

"Loss of the match occurs when your aura reaches the red or combatant are knocked out of the arena, begin" Miss Goodwitch declared the start of the match. Jaune suddenly banged his shield with his sword twice giving off two sharp taunting clangs to Cardin who advanced forward as his arms wound up ready to swing his mace.

Within striking distance, Cardin lifted his mace into both hands intending a quick knockout but just as he wound up, Jaune stepped forward and smacked Cardin with his shield sending the Winchester stumbling back. Winchester clutched his face in surprise and shock, Jaune Arc had actually struck him, this reaction was mirrored by everyone else but then Jaune suddenly moved back bracing himself against his shield before smacking his sword against his shield taunting the Winchester who lips turned into a snarl.

"WOO! Go Jaune!" Yang cheered in support as the blonde landed his blow followed by a shout from Ruby

"You can do it!"

"You got lucky Jaune" Cardin quipped rather clichély before he once again advanced but this time he did not animate his moves and as he came within striking distance, he made a short underarm strike. Jaune managed to block it but Cardin was still stronger than him and he lost a bit of his aura as well as stumbling the blonde but to everyone's surprise, Jaune quickly righted himself with grace and fluid of a dancer.

Before Cardin could wind up for another attack, Jaune thrust trying to catch Cardin in an unarmoured section of his body but Cardin saw it and angled his body so the blow glanced off. Jaune had over-committed and Cardin capitalised going for a quick smash but found that Jaune had deflected the blow with his sword.

Cardin mace arm was suddenly flung back by the sudden deflection, Jaune slashed quickly before backing off again. Cardin shrugged off Jaunes light blow and decided he needs to commit, overwhelm Jaune he was physically stronger and Jaune could not afford to keep blocking.

Releasing a small war cry Cardin advanced forward once within striking distance, he rained blows upon Jaune his mace moving fluidly and with power. Jaune to Cardin's surprise dodged the first few by stepping back just avoiding the reach of the mace or blocking if he could not avoid it. However, when Jaune had his back against the arena Cardin grinned he could not dodge and struck. However, to Cardin's surprise, Jaune angled himself and his shield so that blow passed along his shield sparks flying but Jaune body shook as it still felt some of the force of the blow but the deflection had destabilised Cardin and he stumbled forward only to be smacked by the Jaune's shield.

Cardin reeled but did not fall or step back a testament to his strength and he replied by going for a wide arc attack, Jaune had nowhere to dodge so had to block but for all his training he was still weaker and his shield went flying.

"Got you now!" Cardin declared victoriously as he went for a two-handed strike intending to knock out Jaune just as the mace was about to strike, Jaune with the fluidity of a dancer twirled around Cardin going under his arms. Cardin's eyes widened as he realized he could not react and Jaune capitalised grabbing his sword two-handed before he slapped Cardin on the back with the flat side of his sword sending the already destabilised Cardin forward and out of the arena.

The arena went silent as Jaune Arc stood Crocea Mors, chest heaving towering over a shocked Cardin Winchester who was on his ass outside the arena. Miss Goodwitch spoke first breaking the silence

"Winner is Jaune Arc by arena knockout" the spectators erupted into applause it was a good match but applause and cheers erupted loudly from team RWBY and JNPR.

"He kicked Cardins ass!" the fiery blonde of Team RWBY declared

"Way to go Jaune!" Ruby shouted

"Fearless leader did it!" Nora added her own two cents

"How?" Weiss muttered in disbelief the dunce Jaune Arc had defeated Cardin even more so that he had less Aura than Cardin. Blake and Ren had an approving smile on their faces Jaune had improved and when all looked lost he won. However, no one was more elated than Pyrrha who had a smile as if she had won the lottery.

Cardin clambered up onto the arena, picking up his mace and resting it on his shoulder as he stood by Jaune who picked up his shield. Cardin did not look pissed but rather humble, he paid the price for his mistakes.

"We are going to have a rematch Jauney boy don't worry" Cardin declared, Jaune smiled

"I look forward to it"

"Impressive match you two, Mr Arc you would have lost if the battle had continued. Your Aura was at 43% compared to Mr Winchester 72% however your quick thinking at the end and masterful dodging as well improved defence techniques won you the battle. Overall, much-awaited improvements Mr Arc however your sword work still requires some improvement." Goodwitch analysed to which Jaune nodded taking the advice to mind.

"Mr Winchester, you realized that Mr Arc was ultimately weaker than you and forcing him to the arena edge where he could not dodge was wise but unfortunately Mr Arc exploited your last-minute overcommitted attack to knock you off balance and out of the arena. My advice would be Mr Winchester to not underestimate your opponent, be wary of over-committing and despite animating your attacks less often it still costs you dearly" Cardin nodded taking her advice as well before the two rivals split off to join their teams.

As Jaune reached his team he suddenly was hit by the realization, he defeated Cardin all his training with Pyrrha had paid off but more could be done he had already stored Goodwitchs words to memory.

"Well done Jaune" Pyrrha congratulated him with a simple

"Couldn't have done it without you" he replied

"That was pretty good since when did you get so good, vomit boy?" Yang asked when she patted him on the back

"Pyrrha and I stayed at beacon during the holiday so she trained me," Jaune informed them this was the so-called missing puzzle piece for the others who understood why Jaune got better while Yang got a Cheshire grin

"Yes training it must have been quite intense and ended with a Yang" Yang joked which earned a blush from the redhead, and groans from everyone else (I admit I'm not good with puns so apologizes if that hurt you as much as it hurt the characters)

"Moving on…. Your sword work still needs improvement" Weiss added her own two cents

"Yeah, Pyrrha and I will focus on them in our next training session. If you would like to help Weiss it would be much appreciated" Jaune asked for the heiress help much to the annoyance of Pyrrha who wanted to monopolise the blondes time. Weiss puffed her chest out,

"Hmph, I might have some time to train you Pyrrha and I will whip you into shape."

"Your footwork was impressive Jaune, quite fluid and your dodging was comparable to dancing" Ren pointed out to which the blonde laughed sheepishly

"Jaune can actually dance" Pyrrha revealed Yang had a grin on her face while everyone had mixed looks of surprise and interest how does someone as clumsy as Jaune know how to dance.

"Well well, lady killer looks there is still hope for you yet" Yang teased as she wrapped her arm around his neck

"Well, seven sisters who all needed a dance partner" everyone took a step back in surprise while Pyrrha smiled their reactions were similar to hers when Jaune revealed the reason why he could dance

"Seven sisters… I can barely handle Yang…" Ruby shuddered at the thought of having more sisters as did Yang who imagined multiple Ruby's the dentist and cookie bills would be through the roof. Weiss was also quite flabbergasted at the thought while Ren and Blake had cocked eyebrows as they kept their usual poker face.

"Woooahhhh, how do you survive Jaune Jaune?" Nora spoke with surprise as her jaw dropped before she did a 180 and cheered loudly,

"We should celebrate our fearless leader victory!"

"Yeah, we should good idea Nora" Pyrrha immediately liked the idea

"Sounds like a good idea plus we can catch up on all our holidays" Ruby threw her weight behind the idea followed by her older sister

"Hell yeah, I also wanna see your dance moves lady killer" Jaune scratched his neck sheepishly why was him dancing such a shock and why was Yang so adamant to see his moves? Pyrrha was not amused by Yang's sudden interest in her crush.

"It would be nice to go out into vale together" Ren calmly added his thoughts while Blake merely nodded content with the idea.

"It is only one victory but I guess a celebration is in order for the amount of improvement the dunce has achieved" Weiss agreed in her typical manner

"Hey! One day I'll be good enough to beat you Weiss!" Jaune retorted to Weiss calling him a dunce

"I look forward to seeing you try" Weiss replied evenly as she flicked her hair over her shoulder as she had a challenging smirk on her face confident in her superiority over him.

"So where should we go?' Jaune asked, Yang happily volunteered herself as the outing planner

"I got a few ideas leave it up to Yang! And we will have Weiss outing" followed by a multitude of groans at such a bad pun while Jaune had a cold shiver course through his body as if something bad was going to happen.

"Keep your puns to yourself" Blake her partner insisted in almost a pleading tone unable to take the pain of another one of her puns.

"They are a part of who I am and must be expressed" Yang retorted as the teams began walking to go get lunch chatting amongst themselves.

Team JNPR had gotten dressed were on their way to the bullhead dock to meet their sister team at the agreed time. Jaune had dressed in a black button shirt with his blue jeans, a belt and a comfortable pair of shoes while his partner wore her own pair of black jeans while she wore a red shirt that contrasted well with her red hair as well as a black jacket. Ren was wearing his usual green outfit while Nora had swapped her combat dress for a frilly pink dress and a black jacket of her own.

"It's nice to be wearing something else besides our combat gear" Pyrrha admitted to which Jaune nodded and smiled

"Yeah, wearing all that armour all the time must be exhausting" Pyrrha gave her partner a small smile in response as well as a nod

"Only Renny didn't change his outfit" Nora pouted wishing to see Ren wear something else besides his typical attire who merely shrugged.

When they saw team RWBY at the bullhead dock, they hadn't really changed their outfit Yang was dressed in her typical cowboy outfit while Ruby still wore her hood, combat skirt and boots and Weiss who still wore her white dress, jacket and heels. The only one who wore different clothes was Blake who swapped her stockings for a pair of pants and a jacket to protect from the rather cool evening.

"Awh…" Nora spoke disappointedly hoping to see Team RWBY wear something else besides their typical clothes

"They basically live in those outfits and how does Weiss wear those heels all the time?" Jaune added to Nora disappointment

"So much for going out guys, you are basically dressed for sparring" Jaune spoke his thoughts as he walked up to team RWBY with his team in tow.

"At least we aren't wearing a hoodie or that awful onesie vomit boy" Yang replied

"Hey, my hoodie is fashionable and that onesie is a gift from my sisters" he retorted no one disses his onesie.

"On the bright side you clean up well" Yang admitted

"Thank you, so where are we going?" Jaune asked still wondering where Yang planned to take them all

"Yang wants to go to a club" Blake answered bluntly

"A club? That was your idea of an outing!" Weiss shouted at the blonde of team RWBY clearly not enthused by the idea of going to a club

"Hey, clubs are fun and you need to loosen up a bit Weiss" Yang pointed out

"Loosen up? In a filthy establishment where the idea of fun is drinking and harassing other girls," Weiss snapped

"She has a point Yang" Ruby admitted only knowing roughly what a club is about

"Snow angel isn't far off the truth" Jaune pointed out reflexively calling Weiss that despised nickname and earning a glare from the heiress.

"Oh and how would you know lady killer?" she questioned as she stepped forward

"I have been in clubs before Yang with my sisters, I know that is hard to believe but the number of creeps in there…" Jaune informed them with a shudder remembering how many times his sister was accosted by weirdos

"Now we have to go to a club, I wanna see lady killer over here bust some moves!" Yang grinned surprised that Jaune had gone to clubs and wanted to see if he could dance.

"It doesn't sound like a good idea…" Pyrrha nervously added, she had been accosted by fans before and could reasonably imagine how bad it would be in a club.

"But Yang is right clubs can be fun especially with friends" Jaune also admitted

"See guys, that's the spirit!" Yang immediately latched on to his vocal support

"Well, we could always try new things" Blake added her own thoughts followed by Ren

"Ultimately, if we aren't having fun we can just leave"

"If someone tries to mess with us we can just break their legs!" Nora added cheerfully

"I won't stop you that's for sure" Jaune laughed and for once Ren actually didn't strike down her idea

"In that case, I am not that averse to the idea" Weiss admitted as they could just leave if they did not have fun

"Hmm, it will be a new experience" Pyrrha agreed while she planned how she could use this opportunity to get closer to Jaune

"What are we waiting for let's go!" Yang questioned giddy with excitement as she grabbed Jaune and Ruby dragging them into the bullhead for a night on the town. Little did they know what a crazy one it would be.

Pain, more pain that was all Jaune Arc felt the moment his eyes opened. A thumping headache and pain all over his body. Faint memories of last night clubbing came back as well as the copious amount of alcohol they were encouraged to drink by a certain blonde brawler. I am never drinking again Jaune vowed mentally.

His vision was blurry and he tried to move his hands to rub away the blurriness but found he couldn't move them but he felt chaff mark on his wrists and heat all over his body but a weight on his chest and arms. He then tried shifting his legs but they too wouldn't move as something chaffed his ankles.

"What the heck?" Jaune muttered as he found himself unable to move and seemingly confused by why he felt weight and heat all over his body. After blinking a few more times Jaune was greeted by red hair and a sleeping Pyrrha on his chest, who was also naked… wait naked!

Jaune tried to jerk up in shock but yet again couldn't, barely he managed to turn his head to his right and he saw blonde hair a sleeping naked Yang. No way…. This must be a dream Jaune thought before he turned to his left to see the calm sleeping form of Weiss who too was naked.

At this point, Jaune couldn't take it,

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" He screamed no trace of manliness in his voice

"Ughhhh" his response was 5 different sets of moans

"Ruby keep it down will you…" Yang replied as she tried to snuggle into Jaune arm and chest to sleep.

"That wasn't me Yang…. Owie my head hurts" Ruby replied as she sat up clutching her head while also being behind Pyrrha, Jaune barely able to see her but he certainly could see her naked shoulders and deduce she too was naked. Ruby eyes made contact with Jaune and the two blinked several times before Ruby blushed and screamed

"Jaune!" this seemed to wake everyone up as they rose to all look at each other blinking with pain in their heads before they glanced to the blonde beneath him. Weiss immediate reaction was to smack Jaune on the head.

"OW WHAT WAS THAT FOR!"

"YOU! Y-YYYOOOU!" Weiss screamed incoherently as her face turned red while she used a pillow to cover herself. Weiss words roused everyone from their slumber as they began blinking away the blurriness and coming to terms with the pain in their head. No way! This was impossible her and Jaune! No way Weiss Schnee did not sleep around and certainly not with Jaune Arc!

"WAIT A SECOND I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Jaune retorted confused as to how this happened, a tempo of confusion began building in the room and hysteria.

"Weiss calm down there must be an explanation…" Pyrrha spoke clutching her head at Jaune and Weiss's voice. She sat up on Jaune's chest, Jaune was then greeted by the full-frontal beauty of his redhead partner her beautiful bre… his vision was sent spining as he felt a stinging slap across the face and a panting Weiss. Her usually cool eyes now filled with panic, confusion and sheer raw disbelief.

"Weiss!" Pyrrha warned as she grabbed Weiss's wrist preventing her from slapping Jaune again. Pyrrha was shocked by the usually prim and proper heiresses actions.

"Weiss.. are you okay?" Ruby asked cautiously grabbing her partner's shoulder.

"I... no... I don't know?" Weiss said dejectedly pulling herself from the bed desperately covering herself, Ruby quickly followed after her.

Blake was meanwhile the heiress trying to get to grips with the situation as she clutched her cat ears who were free of their bow and suffering from all the shouting. Said heiress was currently sitting dejectedly in a corner being comforted by Ruby who herself was still trying to process the situation. Jaune and Pyrrha were looking at each other and were blushing messes before their eyes separated unable to look at each other.

"You alright lady killer?" Yang asked her fellow blonde who was still in shock, somehow the blonde was calm... and Yang was never the calmest person. Her tone was weirdly neutral...

"Never better" he replied with a neutral tone unable to muster emotion into his words. He turned to see the sexy form of Yang Xiao Long but also her jaw was clenched. Jaune Arc could now confirm every girl in the room was naked and their bodies would be forever burned into his memory... Dammit since when were all his friends this hot! Gah! Bad thoughts Jaune!

"I bet, now any last words Jaune?" Yang said as her eyes slowly turned red and she cracked her knuckles while her hair slowly brightened

"I died seeing heaven?" he chuckled nervously his mouth going on auto-pilot before Yang punched him square in the face shattering the bed earing a shout of pain showing her iconic bombastic anger. Having leapt before she looked so to speak. Luckily before Jaune could beat on further Blake leapt at her partner pulling her away from Jaune.

Yang screamed in an immense amount of anger no words were coming from her mouth. Just wordless screaming that could probably make people freeze in terror. Her eyes flaring as the tips of her hair warmed in sheer rage. The idea of Ruby no longer being so innocent was inconceivable to her and her whole body was ignited with anger. Her knuckles Weiss didn't even glance up to see Yang pummel like a ferocious grim devouring her prey, still lost in her own world.

"Yang calm down!" Ruby vainly called to her sister in an attempt to calm her down, an arm still wrapped around her partner, slowly rubbing her back trying to offer what comfort. Torn between her aprtner and best friend.

"Jaune! Yang back off!" Pyrrha called worried about her blonde partner, the champion fighter intervened flexing her muscles and showing off her skill, she deflected Yang's punches with a swift elbow before her hands surged forward, fiercely protecting her partner, her warm emerald eyes with hardened in absolute seriousness as she stared into Yang's fiery angry orbs. Her hands grabbed her wrists and forced her back and off Jaune

"Yang..." She growled lowly, her word causing everyone in the room to shiver a bit... No one had ever seen Pyrrha like this but considering how much she cared for Jaune it made sense.

"I-I-I" Jaune began stuttering in absolute confusion, his lips flexing as his mind was playing catch up to his mouth. Then he suddenly stopped, an eerie quiet falling over the room before Jaune erupted. Pyrrha glanced to Jaune a sympathetic smile on her face trying to comfort and calm her partner but it failed.

"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE! WHAT IS GOING ON!" Jaune screamed still unable to move everyone froze, they didn't know how this happened, they were all too confused and hadn't really processed the situation. They had all slept with Jaune and Jaune had slept with them! The dorky doofus Jaune had slept with all five of them!

The girls all blushed as they realized Jaune was naked and they could see his rather impressive manhood however they also saw the answer to Jaune's question. In red lipstick on Jaune's chest was "Property of RWBYP" as well as a ring on his left hand. They all turned to their hands and each had a ring corresponding with their eye colour. Jaune saw them look at their fingers, seeing the rings he drew only one conclusion, in last night's outing where they got drunk he married Ruby, Weiss, Blake, Yang and Pyrrha.

"Soo… what do we do?" Ruby echoed everyone's thoughts as she pushed her index fingers together nervously while they exchanged looks amongst themselves before all honing in on the passed out blonde knight. Blake then tossed some pants to Jaune, who nodded gratefully to the Faunus before she turned to begin grabbing everyone else's clothes.

"We all take a shower, get our clothes on and then talk about this... situation." She said cooly and no one could disagree as they were left to their own thoughts.

Welp Jaune is screwed, In the fight, I wanted to make it close with Jaune barely winning by outsmarting Cardin who would be cocky. I also wanted to build up to the drunken marriage rather than going straight to it and giving some reason to the outing and therefore giving a reason for the situation to occur in the first place.

I want Jaune to slowly go in strength and character which will eventually lead to romance between him and his wives after they get over the initial confusion. As I said this is a pretty dumb crackfic but oh well please tell me your thoughts and constructive criticism. Until next time!