Hi guys! Sir Fart here. So this is going to be my take on the whole "Holy shit I'm a Titan now, WTF" story I've been seeing a lot. I decided to hop on that train myself, so yeah. Don't take this seriously, I'm just hopping on the bandwagon.

I don't own Attack on Titan and stuff. I may or may not continue this if you guys want me to, or if I get a good story going.

Chapter 1

Ahh...morning. I love the morning. The bright sunlight, the warm bed, the calm sound of ocean waves...Wait, What? I distinctly remember going to bed in my home last night. I opened my eyes and looked around. As I suspected, this is not home.

Where am I? I looked around and found myself on a beach, listening to the ocean waves. I saw birds. Tiny birds?

Something is most definitely wrong here. I looked down at myself and was shocked at the fact I was completely nude. Even worse, I had no nipples. I knew they were kinda useless on males, but still. I stood up and I looked down the rest of my body. Nice toned abs, rippling muscles, and OH GOD I HAVE NO DICK.

I freaked out for a good 20 minutes before I regained my composure and looked around again. Apparently, I was larger than before. Much larger. It seemed that I towered over everything. I took a step and heard a THUMP. I decided to brush off my sudden metamorphosis and go look for help.

I wandered for what felt like hours before I found anything interesting. I found a patch of houses, long since abandoned. They were broken beyond repair, like something forced itself inside. The architecture looked familiar, but not enough to warrant concern. More wandering and a finally found someone. Finally! I jogged over to him, and my pace slowed as I saw what he was. A thin, grotesque human with disproportionate features and limbs. It turned to me, and I reeled back.

This guy is really creepy.

He turned back around and walked off, emitting a low growling. I wasn't quite sure what was happening, so I kept moving. Even more wandering led me to a forest. This was a rather unusual forest. The trees were several times taller than me, and I'm freaking huge! Wait, there's only one place that I've ever seen trees of this size…

No. I had to confirm my suspicions. In the forest, I saw another giant human. I went over to it, my thundering footsteps shaking the earth. If this is what I think is, then this should work.

I raised my hand and curled it into a fist. I turned the human around and punched it in the back of the neck. Steam erupted from the impact as it was sent falling to the ground. Yup. This is bad. I looked at my hand, which was slowly mending itself.

The realization hit me like a truck: I'm a god damn Titan. And if I'm a Titan, then that means I'm...there. I ran out of the forest and frantically looked for any other sign of life. Nothing. Nothing but other titans and destroyed houses.

Night had started to fall, and other titans had slowed down considerably. I decided to move out as far as possible to get a head start. After I think an hour of wandering, I saw something on the horizon. I ran towards it and it soon made itself known.

A big-ass wall.

Specifically, the last human stronghold safe from titans. Good lord, this thing was huge. There was a strong scent on the wind. It smelled like meat. You know that smell, when mom makes that special meatloaf you absolutely love? Yeah, that smell. It was absolutely divine.

I got closer to the walls and I soon realized what that smell was: HUMANS.

I gagged a bit, holding my nose at the divine smell. I refuse to succumb to it and be like those mindless ones. I turned to walk away, but I slowly felt the lack of sunlight begin to take me. I would investigate tomorrow.

Zzz…