Chapter One

Alone

Roxas-

I wish that I could say I was strong enough to put up with all the bullshit secrets and lies, but I just can't do this anymore. I left my half of this month's rent in an envelope for you. Oh, and I took the cat and my flatscreen. They were mine to begin with. Uh… good luck? Please don't try to contact me anymore. If I left anything else behind, just keep it or trash it.

-Van

Roxas staggered back a couple of steps and slumped against the arm of the couch, the wrinkled scrap of paper balling up in his fist. Anger shook through his body as he fought back the urge to just scream at the top of his lungs and break something.

The moment he walked in the door, he'd known something was off. It no longer felt like home. Van's signature black leather jacket was gone from the hook. There were no longer piles of Converse and boots to trip over in the entryway. The house even smelled different; Van's cologne no longer assaulted his senses the moment he walked in, and the distinct smell of 'cat' was all but completely gone.

When he rounded the corner into the living room, his first reaction to the bare white wall in front of him was that they'd been robbed. The 60" Smart TV was gone, and even the wall mount it hung on was missing. The only hint that it had ever been there in the first place was the ever so slight difference in the paint color where it had faded around the television from years of sunlight beaming in from the balcony.

He'd already had the 9-1-1 dialed into his phone when his eyes settled on the crumpled slip of paper sitting on the coffee table next to an envelope. Roxas had been away for three days on a work trip, and apparently that had been all Vanitas needed to pack up all of his stuff and get out. Had he just been waiting around for the opportunity to leave? To sneak away so he wouldn't even have to face the man whose heart he was breaking?

"Coward…" Roxas muttered to himself, flinging the note at the empty space on the wall. His eyes settled on the envelope and he leaned forward to pick it up, rifling through all of the cash to make sure it would be enough to cover half the rent. There was no way in hell he could afford the house by himself.

Setting the envelope back on the coffee table, he pushed his weight forward and began to pace back and forth like a caged animal. Rage was still bubbling deep inside him, and he was sure that he had to have been eight shades of red by then.

"Maybe… maybe it's a joke. Maybe he isn't really gone." Denial began to eat at him, so he headed upstairs to the bedroom they'd shared. The sheets were still rumpled from the night before, and it was only then that the spicy, heavenly scent of Van's cologne finally touched his nose.

But the closet was void of all of Van's belongings, and the bathroom was almost barren looking without his vast collection of hair products. He'd even taken most of the towels and the shower curtain, which seemed like a petty thing to repossess in a break up. Van was most likely moving back in with his mom anyways, so did he really need to take them?

A trip into the spare room, which Van had been using as a home office, only further confirmed his permanent absence. It was completely cleared out, as if it had never even been utilized before.

Rage was beginning to subside into sorrow as Roxas made his way downstairs and collapsed on the couch. His first instinct was to tune out the world until he calmed down, but when he reached for the remote in it's usual place, he found himself grabbing at air. A glance up at the bare wall was a reminder that he could no longer do that. A low growl sounded from his throat when he realized he wasn't getting paid for his last job until next week.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed, shooting into an upright position on the couch and causing a couple of pillows to topple onto the floor. Television was the only thing he had to relax with after work. …Especially now that Vanitas was gone. Hell, his Playstation was just sitting on it's shelf, cables all detached and tangled up on top of it. He couldn't even take out his frustrations on video game villains!

His eyes found themselves settling back on that envelope. The one sitting there, right in front of him, full of cash.

"I can't…" Apparently talking to himself was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment. "I really shouldn't…"

Fifteen minutes later he found himself in the parking lot of Best Buy, the envelope of cash shoved haphazardly into his hoodie pocket. "Don't do it. You don't need it." That mantra had followed him all the way from home. But it wasn't enough to stop his legs from taking him through the door and turning towards the TV section.

"Hello Sir, and welcome to Best Buy! Can I help you find anything today?"

The only thing that stopped him from ripping the associate's head off was the fact that it was a petite teenage girl with a bright, slightly obnoxious smile on her face.

"I need a TV."

"Perfect! Were you looking for a standard television, or a Smart TV?"

That was when his eye caught sight of a gloriously large, ridiculously expensive looking flatscreen hanging on the wall, outshining every other device on their display. 65 inches, 4k Ultra HD, Roku included… it was perfect. It was the television Roxas had always dreamed of. He took a step towards it, gawking at the crisp, perfect picture. "How much is this one?"

"That one is $899.99."

Roxas nearly choked on thin air. He'd never spent that much money on a TV before. In fact, before Vanitas moved in with him he was still squinting at a 22", standard definition screen that had dead pixels all over the place.

His hand tightened around the envelope in his pocket. He had $1100 on him. He could do it. But he needed that money to pay rent on the house and cover utilities. He could just buy another crap TV and fill in the rest of the wall space with artwork or something. Namine would help him redecorate for sure.

"I'll take it."

Wait, had that come out of his own mouth?

"Awesome! I'll let one of my associates know and they can get it loaded right into your car. In the meantime, I'll ring you up right over here!" The chirpiness of her voice was grating on his nerves.

Okay, you haven't paid yet. You can still back out of this. Just tell her that you changed your mind. She'll understand.

"Will that be cash or credit?"

Roxas shook his head as her voice brought him back to reality again. "Uh… cash."

You idiot! You were supposed to back out! Tell her! Tell her now!

"All right, here's your change! Rob will be up in just a moment to help you to your car!"

He stared down at the envelope, which had considerably shrunk in side. Damn it!

With the amount of effort it took the two of them to shove that huge box into his car, you'd think there would have been plenty of time for him to open his mouth and tell the guy that there had been a mistake. To march right back in there and demand a refund. You'd think.

The panic attack didn't hit him until he was settled into the couch with the shiny new remote in his hand and Netflix loading up on the gargantuan screen.

"What did I do?!"

If the cat had still been living there, he would have likely gotten clawed in the back of the head for such a loud outburst. The back of the couch had always been Simba's favorite place to laze around.

"Fuck… oh fuck…" Roxas leaned forward, rubbing at his temples with his index and middle fingers. Rent was due by the end of the week, and he only had enough for his half. This last work trip had drained all of his extra cash. As if it wasn't bad enough that his partner of the past 5 years had left him, now he was going to be evicted. Unless…

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started typing as fast as he could. On every social media outlet he could think of, he started posting:

In need of a roommate ASAP. First and last of your half of the rent will be required up front. Must have a steady source of income. …No cats.

Adding his contact info at the bottom of the ad, Roxas sent it off to all ends of the internet, hoping to all hell that someone would contact him soon. If he couldn't find a roommate by the end of the week, he was fucked.

After he was satisfied that he'd reached out to every possible site he could manage, Roxas laid his phone down on the glass top coffee table and promptly fell into a well deserved coma on the couch. This would work. It had to.

…

It was only a few hours later that the sound of a million wasps swarming him pulled Roxas out of his deep sleep. He woke in a panic, nearly falling off the couch as he tried to reorient himself with his surroundings. It was dark out now, and the light from the magnificent TV was quite blinding, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out what that buzzing noise was.

And then it suddenly stopped, and it was only then that he realized what it was. Right… cell phone.

Upon inspection, it was a little after midnight and he now had four missed calls stacking up in his notifications. His heart leapt into his throat when he realizing it might be Vanitas. That he might have seen the error in his ways and he was coming home.

"Unknown number?" The dejected tone of his voice was quite pathetic.

A quick dial-back had his hopes rising again. Maybe it was Van's mom's house. Maybe he just didn't have the number saved.

"Hello?" the low, smooth voice of a man poured through the phone.

"Oh… uhm… hi? My name is Roxas. I got a bunch of missed calls from this number?" Roxas inwardly groaned as all of his hopes and dreams were dashed. He had no idea who this guy was.

There was a bit of static on the other end, like he was being switched off speakerphone. "Right! Hey! I was hoping I'd hear back from you soon. You still looking for that roommate?"

Roxas checked the time again. He'd only posted the ad about 4 hours ago. "Uh… yeah?"

"Awesome! So hey, my lease is up in like 2 days and I still haven't found a new place to live. I was gonna move in with my dad, but his place is like an hour away from my job and my mom doesn't even live in this state, but there's nowhere really renting this time of the year and-"

"Cut to the chase?" Please? Before you talk me to death.

"Right! So your place is right down the road from my job and the rent is super reasonable for me. Can I come check it out tomorrow?"

Roxas was slightly nervous to let some strange, overly talkative guy in his house, but he reluctantly agreed. It would be a little ridiculous to have someone move in without seeing the place first. "Uh… yeah. Sure."

"Awesome! I can head over on my way in to work if that's cool?"

"That depends. What time are we talking here?" Roxas raised an eyebrow. He had tomorrow off and he wasn't intending on waking up before noon.

"Oh, it'd be around seven. Is that cool? We don't open till nine, but there's a whole lot of prep work to do, and I have to take everyone out, and then I have to-"

"That's fine. I'll see you at seven."

Roxas growled a little as he hung up the phone before this guy could get another word in. If he wasn't so desperate for the help on rent, he'd have never even humored this guy. People that bright and cheery should be quarantined. Between him and the chick from Best Buy, Roxas had just about had his fill on happy for the week.

With his mind a little more at ease knowing that he had a potential rommate lined up, Roxas switched off the TV and headed up to bed. As he pulled the covers over himself, his eyes fell on Van's pillow and tears began to well up in his eyes. He buried his nose in the fabric and inhaled deeply, allowing Van's scent to surround him and comfort him. It had been so long since he'd been alone that he wasn't sure if he knew how to do it anymore.

But who was he kidding? Even when Van was around, Roxas was always alone.

That was just the life of an assassin.