Notes: It's not a klarolineauweek without something exploding on me! These two prompts have been sitting in my inbox for ages and I finally found a way to make them work. This is a Friends With Benefits All Human fic and won't be all that long though is will be pretty smutty.

You're The Nicest Thing

(Prompt: Kink list prompt: 39. klaus & caroline don't know how to react after engaging in some unsatisfactory sex. + Klaus and Caroline getting drunk at a bar and going home to have clumsy, drunken sex. Title from the Kate Nash song. SMUT)

Caroline (11:28 AM): SEND HELP. I'M GOING TO SLAUGHTER THE FRESHMEN.

Klaus (11:31 AM): All of them? Surely there's at least a passable paper or two.

Caroline (11:32 AM): I'm on the tenth. They're all TERRIBLE. SOULSUCKINGLY TERRIBLE.

Klaus (11:33 AM): Soulsuckingly is not a word.

Caroline (11:34 AM): Neither was elbow before Ol' Bill was staring at the bendy bit of his arm and thought hmmmm while writing King Lear.

Klaus (11:36 AM): I'm screenshotting this text. The next time you call me egotistical I'm going to remind you of the time you directly compared yourself to William Shakespeare.

Caroline (11:37 AM): You can't remind me of anything if I'm in prison for MURDER. Do you have lunch plans?

Klaus (11:38 AM): Meeting with an author at one. She likes my portfolio but has some questions.

Caroline (11:39 AM): Klaus! THAT'S AMAZING.

Caroline (11:39 AM): Everything in me is DYING to send you a string of emojis but I'll refrain since you hate fun and happiness.

Klaus (11:40 AM): No, just emojis.

Klaus (11:41 AM): And thank you, sweetheart. I'll stop by with coffee when I'm done. Try not to kill anyone before then.

Caroline (11:42 AM): You're a lifesaver!

Caroline's a veteran T.A., having accepted her first position her senior year of college. Every year she tells herself not to be surprised by the inept bullshitting the freshmen try to sneak into their first paper but the badly constructed arguments and ludicrous examples still manage to have her tearing out her hair.

Honestly, how hard is it to just read the freaking book? Some of her students clearly don't even bother to do much more than skim Wikipedia.

She takes a great deal of pleasure in scrawling semi-sarcastic observations in red pen alongside the slashed out words and grammar corrections. It's a public service. Caroline's graduating this year and her harshness will save another T.A. some aggravation. Assuming, of course, that any of the particularly egregious offenders can manage to actually learn.

Experience has taught her that certain brands of dumb are impenetrable.

There's a tap at the door, one she recognizes as Klaus', and she gratefully hops out of her seat to let him in. She grins at him when she swings the door open, "My hero!" she croons, once she sees the red cup in his hands.

Klaus hands it over with an indulgent smile, "Yes, I heroically braved the crowds at Starbucks for fake pumpkin rubbish masquerading as coffee."

She eyes him severely over the rim of the cup after inhaling the scent of the spice tinged coffee appreciatively, "It's delicious and only available for a limited time. And I love it."

"I know."

"Seriously, Klaus. Thanks." He really is a kick ass friend for bringing it considering he's a weirdo who doesn't even like Starbucks.

He glances towards her desk, the neat stacks of paper. "Any light at the end of the tunnel?"

"A very faintly flickering one. Do you want to come in?" She tips her head towards the ratty grey couch that sits under the window. "My office mates are actually pretty cool this year. They won't get all huffy if you hang out."

"You were likely due for a relatively normal set."

"I really was." She steps back so Klaus can pass her, then walks across the room and flops down on the couch with a sigh. "So, do you have good news? Maybe that you're about to start an exciting new project?"

"I don't know about exciting but it pays better than the last few." He shrugs off his jacket and helps himself to her desk chair, his face impassive. Caroline's going to need a little more excitement from him.

"Woo hoo!" she cheers, lifting her free arm in an exaggerated fist pump. "So I might only have to bring one extra sweater when I come over to this winter?"

"You never actually bring extra sweaters. You just raid my closet after you've invited yourself into my bedroom."

Caroline looks away, studying her cup more intently that she needs to. It's just like Klaus to spoon feed her a great joke that she can't utter. All because of that one time Klaus had been the one issuing the invitation and things had gone terribly awry. In the past she wouldn't have hesitated, would have let her voice turn throaty and tease him about how an invitation into his bedroom should really include something more exciting than an offer of extra layers for warmth. Klaus would have responded with something equally flirty. They'd have gone back and forth; neither willing to back down, until Caroline's ears felt hot and it took a ton of effort not to let her eyes linger on his lips.

He's been her friend since the second semester of her first year in college, one of the most consistent. They've always had buckets of sexual tension. Being a practical sort of girl Caroline had figured it would, at some point, boil over.

Unfortunately, when they had given into the tension her racy fantasies about Klaus - about his hands and his mouth and his voice in her ear uttering tempting, toe curling promises – had totally let her down.

Caroline's really hoping they can get to a point where they'll be able to laugh about the worst sex of their lives. Soon, if possible.

She glances up to find Klaus studying her. She smiles weakly and resists the urge to fidget and possibly make things awkward if he realizes her mind had flitted back to the sex that shall not be named. It had taken them half of the summer to get back to something approaching their usual vibe and Caroline had missed him terribly in the weeks where they hadn't quite known how to be in the same room. She takes a sip of her drink to cover the extended pause, "That's just because you're a good host. Unwilling to let your guests freeze to death even if you're chintzy with the thermostat."

"Unwilling to let some guests freeze to death."

"It's an honor to be included on the short list of people you don't actively want to die, Klaus. Truly."

He smirks, rolling the desk chair closer to the couch, "Then you'll be especially happy to know that you're near the top of that particular list."

Caroline lays her hand over her heart, sinks back into the cushions like a swooning maiden in an old movie. It's another opening and she decides to take this one and push a bit past the boundaries she's been enforcing. They're not going to get back to normal if they keep being so careful, right? "Such charm!" she exclaims. "With sweet talk like that I have no idea why you're still single."

Klaus reply is quick, "Really? I have a pretty good idea."

Huh. Not what she'd expected.

Klaus has a healthy ego and is fully aware of his own appeal. She'd seen him use his charisma to great effect over the years. A flash of his dimples, some careful space invading, and many a woman had gotten giggly and wide eyed, hanging on to his every word and not-so-subtly tugging at their necklines to bare a little more cleavage. She's about to make a crack, to ask if he's been watching self-improvement infomercials while sketching again (Klaus tends to be most productive late at night) when an alarm begins trilling and her phone buzzes against the desk. A quick look at the clock above the door tells Caroline she's got a class to get to.

Klaus has spent years teasing her about her rigidly organized schedule so he's well aware of the alarm's meaning. He tips his head towards her phone, "Your ten minute warning?"

"Yeah. Sorry to have to dash out on you after you delivered me the greatest of coffee based beverages."

"It's not a problem. My student days only ended last year, remember? I know the routine. Where are you headed?"

"Just down the hall," Caroline tells him, standing and straightening her skirt. "It's my kid lit seminar so it'll at least be fun. Do you want to meet up at the bar by your place later? I want to hear all about your project."

"Sure. Seven or so?"

That would give her enough time to knock out a couple more papers. The alcohol would be a welcome balm to her soul. "I'll even buy the first round since we're celebrating."

Though she'd have to be strict and remember to cap it off at three drinks. DrunkCaroline says things she shouldn't and is a shameless snuggler. It had been the celebratory booze, and her wandering hands, that had led to disaster the last time she and Klaus had over imbibed.

Never let it be said that Caroline Forbes doesn't learn from her epic fails.