A/N: We don't own Hetalia.
Yes, I say we. My buddy FrickinGwaine (please ignore her equally awful username) from AO3 is working on this fic with me (so therefore you cannot blame me for my un-updated fics that continue to collect dust. Oops).
Anyway, this first chapter is just an introduction to the characters and a fun way to get the story rolling. The next one we have planned is the origins of Beatrix and Amelia Jones (AKA: the North and South and the beginnings of the Civil War.)
The Jones' Family House Rules:
1) No seceding from the nation to start a civil war (no matter how annoying you find your siblings)
2) Passive-aggressive means to get revenge on said siblings will stop when Alfred says enough (the record of his patience is 3 days after which Northeast and South got into major trouble (both agree that it was worth it))
3) Alfred gets the final say in an argument (Because he's America and he said so)
4) America maybe a democracy but Alfred will run a dictatorship if you keep testing him
5) Because this actually needs to be put in writing - no threatening to shoot your siblings
a) Ya know what, no guns in the kitchen or the dining room
b) Or the family room
c) Or the bathroom (what the Hell, South?)
d) Jesus christ, I better not see a gun in general unless I give explicit permission
i) ...permission given at 2 AM after waking me in the middle of the night to ask does not count
6) No political talk at dinner
7) No trying to convert your new found sibling (because Midwest will cry, girls)
8) No making fun of other regions in a different language (I speak all of them enough to know an insult when I hear one)
9) Swearing in another language still counts as swearing
10) West goes nowhere without supervision of some kind
11) West and Midwest are never to be left alone for long periods of time
12) No weed in the house
a) Nothing illegal in the house (do I really need to clarify this, guys?)
13) No playing soccer with Puerto Rico, especially not in the house (why do you guys keep trying to destroy where we live?)
14) Midwest, Northeast, and Alaska are not allowed to make fun of/prank South and Hawaii about snow and winter
15) No bullying West (he can't help it)
a) No bullying Puerto Rico (he's apart of the family now)
b) No bullying anyone
16) No firebreathing at dinner
a) No fire breathing in the house (Hawaii no)
17) Midwest's home is America, not Canada (this falls under the bullying rule too, kiddos)
a) Alaska's home is also in America, not Canada!
18) Midwest and Northeast are not allowed to celebrate Black Friday
19) Guam is still apart of the family and we cannot shun him for not living with us
20) Alcohol is forbidden
21) No trying to sue Alfred for these rules
22) For the love of God, Do NOT make fun of touchy subjects (country music, Northeast's driving, Puerto Rico's Status, Southern politics, the entirety of the Midwest, etc)
23) Unless you're South, no cooking without adult supervision (West, no cooking at all)
24) West for the last time, the moon landing was real and Bush did not do 9/11 (stop bringing it up or I will send you to the moon myself without the rocket)
a) Stop asking Alfred about chem trails, West
25) Hawaii isn't allowed to throw use breakable objects to intentionally cause West anyone harm
26) Alfred is not allowed to pick favorites, even when it was a joke because it's "not funny" (I promise I love you all equally...most of the time)
Trixie Jones (Southern region of the United States)
Amy Jones (Northeast region of the United States)
West Jones (Western region of the United States)
Wyatt Jones (Midwest region of the United States)
Pablo Carriedo-Jones (the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico)
Kaya Braginski-Jones (US state Alaska)
Marcelina Mele Jones ( US state Hawaii)
So please let us know what you guys thought! We'd really appreciate feedback! Also, if anyone has any suggestions or prompts for upcoming chapters, feel free to give us some :)