Hey guys. Again, super sorry about my main story Loneliness being out for the count right now, but this here is a four chapter little AU I wrote! well, kind of an Au. it's set before season four around the middle fo season three i guess? *shrugs* well, this is Raph- centric, hehe, i hope you enjoy!

Oroku Saki was in his penthouse on a visit home to Japan when he came. Saki didn't know how he had come here, or when he had located him, but the turtle was certainly not out for blood. Saki was sitting in front of a window, looking down at the courtyard, when he heard footsteps only a ninja could make, and only a ninja could hear, approaching from behind. It was obviously an enemy; no foot ever dared to try and sneak up on him, well, Karai might if she was in a 'fun' mood, as she called it, but that had been long ago, before his beloved daughter had been mutated because of his carelessness.

"Who is there?" he requested without turning, the footsteps stopped, but no one replied. "I would think the person standing there wants to stay alive." he growled, unsheathing his gauntlets. "Or do they have a death wish?"

"Depends on the day." came the sarcastic reply, Oroku saki's eyes widened. It was the turtle, Raphael, Hamato Yoshi's disciple. He spun around, eyes angrily narrowed.

"What are you doing here, in my home, in...japan?" he demanded, Raphael was leaned against the wall, arms folded across his chest, a filthy mutant.

"Huh, that's exactly what leo's gonna ask me when i get home." he mused, "but you should really be thinking about other stuff."

"And who are you to tell me what to do?" Saki growled, taking a step towards the turtle, but something about Raphael's attitude made him hesitate. He was calm, not exactly 'chill' but he didn't seem to be afraid of the man who had tried to kill him many times.

"Well," Raphael mused, "you might be right about the death wish." that was not an answer, but the turtle continued, "it's funny, i followed the guy who wants to kill my family to japan."

"Why are you here turtle?" Saki demanded, "you have about five seconds before you will no longer care."

"Oh, and now he thinks i care." Raphael said to no one in particular, "that's a real good joke."

Saki had never had this kind of confrontation, things were mainly touch and go, or more like, they come, he either kills them or tells them to do something.

"But five seconds?" Raphael continued, "i might as well say what i came here to say, then i guess you can kill me."

"time's up." Saki growled, scraping his blades along the wall. Raphael turns the cold emerald gaze on him, freezing shredder in his tracks; not many people dare to make eye contact with the shredder. Something about this young person's spirit has always made the shredder think. he had grown curious about Raphael, yes, but not curious enough to spare him.

"Well i better get to the point then." Raphael said sharply. He looked directly at Saki and said one thing that made his heart skip a beat, and his entire body seize up. "I think, don't get me wrong here i could be totally wrong, but i think my father forgave you until you tried to kill us, and him, again."

"Silence!" Shredder roared, holding a blade to his enemy's throat. To his surprise, the red masked turtle did not flinch as he usually would, or even attempt to escape.

"I told you i might have a death wish, but today i really don't want to die, at least until i tell you what i came here to tell you. Then, i guess you can slit my throat and watch me die in satisfaction." again, the bluntness amused shredder, and to even his surprise he retracted at the blades and stood back, eyeing the turtle once more. Raphael glanced around before deciding to lean against the wall again.

"So, shred head." he said, putting both hands behind his head. "Yeah, i think my dad forgave you at one point, but he'd probably not do it again, but this isn't just about him. Didn't you and Splinter grow up together?"

"Watch your words turtle." Saki snarled, fighting off panic, though unsure why he was panicking.

"I am." came the reply, "i just don't get how you could hate a brother that much," then he hesitated,"well, maybe. I get really ticked off at leo sometimes, and i guess if he suddenly took Mona Lisa and she fell in love with him…" Raphael frowned, then shook his head. "Nah, i love her enough to want what's best for her, even if it doesn't directly involve me."

"You are treading on dangerous grounds Raphael." Saki warned, watching the turtles every move.

"Yeah i know, that's what makes this so fun." Raphael laughed, "my dad once told me that learning from others' mistakes will make you better than learning from your own mistakes." Saki narrowed his eyes. "Well, i think you could use the same advice."

"Really." Saki said scathinlgy, "what makes you say that?" Raphael frowned, for the first time seeming unsure of himself.

"When we were kids, and we didn't know about teng shen and all the weird stuff that happened between you guys, dad told us stories about when you were kids." Saki froze, watching the turtle even more carefully now. "And as we grew older, and i started getting angry," Raphael shrugged, taking a sai out of his belt and looking at the blade. "He told me i scare him because i sometimes remind him of you." Saki scowled, and Raphael nodded slowly. "My brothers wouldn't believe this, of course, because they don't want to imagine a future where i hate them, you know, but i do imagine it. I don't want to obviously but…" Raphael shrugged, slipping the weapon back into his belt, "i'm afraid of doing to them what you did to Hamato Yoshi." Shredder snarled and unsheathed his blades once more, placing them by the turtle's throat, he stared steadily at Shredder.

"You didn't kill Splinter's wife, you killed hamato yoshi's wife. You realize that right? And, in a way, you aren't the same man who did that either. you were oroku saki, not shredder, you were not the man who killed people for looking at him cross eyed, you were fueled by rage, and that is what scares me about myself."

"What is your point turtle?" Saki demanded, "i should have killed you when you first entered!"

"Yeah, maybe." Raphael shrugged. "Then i wouldn't have to worry about turning into you and hurting my brothers." Saki watched the turtle's face closely as his mind drifted elsewhere, and Saki realized that this entire time, Raphael had been talking to himself, not Oroku Saki. "i followed you after a fight with them, you know, i was arguing with Leo about the most stupid thing on earth, about karai. And then i left, i didn't wanna be a part of the team anymore, i even thought about joining you to get revenge on them." he laughed bitterly. "Fancy that, yeah, i was a dummy thinking that, i was sure i'd be dead by now...i…" Raphael trailed off, looking at his hands. "Something came over me as i watched you exit the plane, you aren't being evil for the sake of being evil."

"Evil." Saki repeated, "i am not evil you insolent child! I am getting my revenge!"

"Yeah yeah." Raphael faked a yawn, "i've heard it before, one time dad said that anger is self destructive, but i didn't believe him until i met you." Saki scowled, telling himself to end this pathetic ninja's life before he embarrassed himself further, but something in what Raphael was saying struck home. He had had floundering doubts since Karai was mutated, and Raphael was all but exposing them. With a sigh that must have surprised the turtle he sheathed the blades.

"And you thought you could change me." he snarled, Raphael shook his head.

"Are you kidding? If there's one thing i hate it's someone who tries to control others!" he laughed, then grew serious again, "well, here i am, carrying a conversation with shredder, and i even managed to laugh, this day is just getting weirder and weirder."

"What are you saying boy?" Saki snapped, "i don't have time for your childish games!"

"I was about to say the same to you." Raphael shrugged. "Look, i know i'll probably never live to leave this place, but like i said earlier...that's alright with me. I always knew i'd be the first of my brothers to die anyway, if not just to ensure their safety." something in the young turtle's eyes darkened. "Splinter says you started down the path that led you here when you were sixteen. I'm eighteen right now and he's told me since then i remind him of you when you were younger. Heh, he probably doesn't realize the effect that has." Raphael shrugged. "But hey, i'm definitely not telling you what to do, i'm not even trying to change you! I'm just here for karai." Saki slowly turned. Raphael looked Saki in the eye and knelt, bending his neck to make it exposed to the blades.

"Get out of my sight." Saki snarled, looking back out the window. "I do not need you here."

"I thought you were gonna kill me, because nothing else you do will shut me up." Raphael chortled, "but anyway, she came to me secretly, she needed someone to talk to, y'know? And she said she forgives you, you were always a great father to her and loved her and stuff, you know, except how you lied to her your whole life, and she know's you didn't mean for her to be Mutated, that much is obvious from your reaction when she fell. Of course, that in no way means i forgive you. In fact, if i could, i'd kill you if i wasn't about to die myself."

"SILENCE!" shredder roared, turning furiously, blades unsheathed, but before he could strike the turtle he was in the rafters, looking down.

"All that metal makes you a bad ninja." he observed, "but all i really came to say is this: it's not too late." with a puff of smoke, the turtle in red disappeared, leaving Saki to search every crack and corner of his home. But Saki did not search for the turtle, nor did he alert the guards that there had been a break in, instead his mind drifted back…

"I will make the foot great again, i swear i will return honor to my name."

If this was the honor he had been raised to live, why did the Hamato clan, now consisting of two teenage girls, a teenage boy, four mutant turtles, a mutant rat, and other mutants he didn't know of seem to have more honor than him? He was raised in the hamato clan, why were their versions of honor so different? Saki began pacing, thinking things that had never once entered his mind before. And, what again, did he want revenge for? Teng Shen was dead and would no longer be the cause of pain; he had been the one to kill her. He hadn't killed her on purpose of course, he wasn't that low, when it happened. But look how low he had sunk since then! Despising his brother for something he couldn't even remember! His brother, he had not thought of Hamato Yoshi as a brother for many years, no, not since he had refounded the foot clan.

What the turtle had said, he had said many things that did not pertain to Saki's situation, but a few had sunk in deeply.

"I think you could use the same advice….i didn't believe him until i met you...she forgives you, you were always a great father and you loved her."

Yes, the young ninja's wisdom was very mature for his age, whether he knew it or not. Shredder hesitated before walking to his phone and dialing the number. Some things never change, but not all things. Some things are meant to change.

Raphael was a stowaway on the next plane flying to new york, with a layover somewhere in nevada. Now he was standing on a skyscraper, surveying New York City. It still boggled his mind that he wasn't dead, what was wrong with him? He had walked into the shredder, the freaking shredder's house, and had a freaking heart to heart with the guy! And he wasn't even dead! Remembering some of what he had said to the man, Raphael shivered. He had voiced his fears about hurting his brothers, to their worst enemy who was trying to kill all of them! Maybe that's why he had spared Raphael, he thought Raph would help him finish the job. Raph snorted, nice try, shred head. Sure, he was still nervous about his temper, but just voicing his fears like that, even practically asking the shredder to kill him, that had somewhat calmed them. After speaking them, he had become aware of how stupid they sounded. Raph counted how many days he'd been gone. Two days until he talked to the shredder, then he had a two day flight home, four days plus the day he talked to the guy. Five days. Raphael winced, he had never left the team for more than a day, if that. His brothers were probably beside themselves, possibly already guilt tripping themselves. With a smile and a decisive nod, Raphael dove off the building to the fire escape, jumping stories at a time to get back home to his brothers.

The last stretch of his journey home wasn't long, not at all. And he soon found himself in the sewers near the lair, listening for the sounds of his brothers. It was almost morning, so if they had stayed all night looking for him, they'd be coming home by now if they hadn't already given up. If raphael knew his brothers, none of them would be sleeping. Raphael started walking again towards his home, when it struck him. His home...the realization that he had let expecting to die crushed down on him, stopping him instantly as he realized it. He had left on a virtual suicide mission, he hadn't even told them where he was going or that he was probably going to die; the last thing Leo had said to him was 'good riddance'. Raphael started sprinting towards his home, suddenly desperate to see his brothers and father. He sprinted to the turnstiles and jumped over. Searching with his eyes and ears to know where they were. They weren't in the pit, where he'd expected them to be, or the lab, even Donatello was not in his lab. Then a murmur of voices floated to him from the kitchen. Suddenly, he stopped. What if they hated him? What if they thought he was dead? Raphael only heard a snippet or two of the conversation, but it was enough.

"-wish i was a better brother-"

"-aw you're a great bro-"

"-don't let this happen to ya -"

"My son it is alright." Raphael took a step forward before flinging himself into the kitchen, grabbing the first person he saw around the neck. They didn't hate him, they missed him, oh shell it was good to be home. It turns out the first person he saw was Leo, good old fearless. Raph's throat clenched when he finally was able to tell himself he'd be able to call his brother that again. Once he had touched leo, it all became real. He wasn't dead, he had actually lived through the stupid stupid stunt he'd pulled.

"Raph!" Mikey's voice called joyfully, "you came back!"

"Raph?" Leo asked in wonder before hugging back, "i knew you'd come home."

"Yeah right." Raph replied thickly, not caring if they saw his tears. He'd told himself he'd never see them again, and yet here they were.

"Whoa, i was sure that the 88th time was the charm." Donnie said sarcastically, joining in on the group hug. Even Splinter, his father, knelt and embraced him. Leaving Raph in the center of a family circle.

"Well Shell now i'm getting soft." he gasped, blinking hard to get the tears out.

"I'll say!" Mikey quipped, "you're crying? Is it because you didn't wanna come home? You bloated buffalo!" Raphael laughed.

"Good to hear you didn't lose your sense of humor without me." he joked, smiling at his brother, "and you know it's true." Finally the family hug stopped, each member pulling back at a different time, wiping moisture out of their own eyes.

"You'd never left that long before." Mikey said softly, "i thought you really did leave."

"You gave us quite a scare." Leo agreed, "we were sure you'd done something stupid like raid the foot clan single handedly."

"Not even Raphael is that stupid." Donnie said, "i mean, well, ok maybe he would be but i doubt it, when it comes down to it." Raph smiled.

"Don't worry leo" he promised, "I'd never do something stupid like that." then he turned to Splinter. "Master i- i wanted to say i'm sorry." his brothers jaws dropped and he continued, "i'm really going to work on keeping my temper and not being so stupid," he frowned, "i realized today i never want to leave this family."

"Aww." Mikey squealed, "more hug time!"

"No." Raph laughed, pushing mikey off, "i'm starving and i can smell pizza. I also wanna watch the news to see what i missed." Mikey smiled.

"Ok! I'll get you pizza! And i call sitting by you on the couch!" he grabbed the box and Raph got to his feet, still breathing shakily from crying. Leo put a hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes.

"Where did you go?" he asked, looking concerned, "we scoured the city for you Raphael, and we had almost given up. Something you said when you left terrified me."

"What did i say again?' Raph asked, walking into the living room leo followed.

"You said that we wouldn't have to worry about you endangering us anymore, because you wouldn't be around to." Raph looked at the floor and then looked back up, a small smile on his face.

"Well you better be worried because next time we spar you're going down!" Leo smiled and they turned on the news to a startling headline.

"Surprisingly, daily crime rates and police calls have dropped significantly in just two days, some of the completely dropped crimes and calls include, strange warehouse burglaries, mutant and monster sightings, street fights, and even gang movement, specifically from a gang known as the purple dragons, have almost completely stopped! The the latest reports say that over half of the gang have suddenly left the city, is it possible they are gone for good, or are they moving to cause trouble in another city? Whatever it is, the streets of new york city are just a little safer than before."

"That's odd." Leo frowned, "why would the dragons just up and leave?"

"I don't know." Donnie frowned as well, "what if the shredder's planning something?"

"We'll stake out his lair tonight." Leo decided, "once we all finally get a good night's, or rather day's, sleep."

"That sounds nice." Raph agreed, yawning. "I think i will hit the hay for now, wake me up when it's time." with that the red masked turtle jumped over the edge of the pit and walked to his bedroom.

Raph followed his brothers along the rooftops, thinking. He had a small inkling of what might be going on, but it seemed impossible.

"Hey! Leo!" a voice shouted, Raph looked to see Karai and Shini running to join them. "Where are you going?"

"We're suspicious about the shredder." leo told her, "we're staking out his lair."

"That's what we were doing too." Karai agreed, "Raph! You're back."

"Oh come on, did everyone think i'm a jerk?" Raph huffed good naturedly, "yeah i'm back."

"Where did you go?" Karai asked as they made their way through the city. Raph frowned.

"You know, here and there, mighta assassinated the president."

"Haha." Karai said, rolling her eyes. "If you don't want to tell me just say so."

"Ok, i don't want to tell you." Raph shrugged, "that wasn't so hard i guess."

"Well maybe it would be easier if you were silent!" Leo fired back at them. "We're staking out our greatest enemy's lair in case you hadn't noticed!"

"Oh yeah i forgot." Raph said sarcastically, "sorry leo." they crouched on the edge of the building and peered down at the old church building Shredder had used as his lair. To everyone's surprise,there were no guards posted and a large truck was in the alley beside it.

"What is going on down there?" Donnie wondered, "no guards? Not even a footbot?"

"Only one way to find out." Leo said, grasping his katana, "ninja's, let's do this." they leapt down and crashed through the window into the shredder's 'throne room' it was almost completely deserted.

"What is going on?" Donnie wondered, "where are all the foot bots and mutants? And shredder?"

"I have a suspicion." Mikey said, glancing around with a smile on his face, "they all….turned invisible!" the rest of the group just looked at him and he shrugged. "Alright, you don't have to believe me, but if you get your head chopped off outta nowhere, don't say i didn't warn ya."

"Well, since no one's here." leo decided, "we'll just go through the entire thing, who knows what we'll discover about the shredder."

"Yeah, maybe we'll learn what kind of cereal he eats for breakfast" Raph said sarcastically, Leo glared at him and started toward the stairs. The rest of them followed. It was eerily silent as they walked down through the floors of the lair. Suddenly they came face to face with two enemy mutants carrying boxes.

"Holy shoot!" Bebop yelped, "don't kill us!"

"Whats going on?" Leo asked, "where is everybody?" Rocksteady rubbed his head in confusion.

"We do not know." he admitted, "master shredder commanded us all back to the japan." Raph raised his eye ridge.

"Really?" karai asked in surprise, "why on earth would he do that?"

"We do not know." rocksteady repeated, "but Bebop and the rocksteady are the last ones to leave. We are not allowed to attack you so please do not destroy us."

"Ok." Leo said, then turned to the group. "Karai, do you have any clue why on earth Shredder would just up and leave?" karai shook her head as the two mutants walked past.

"I don't know." she said, apparently mystified, Raph leaned against the wall and folded his arms. No way, no shelling way. Not only did the red masked turtle survive his heart to heart session, but shredder actually listened!

"Maybe it's a trick." Donnie suggested, "he's trying to lure us into a false sense of security."

"Maybe." Leo conceded, he shrugged, "let's go home then." the group started back up towards the surface and Raph hung to the back of the group, still dazed. This was crazy! The six of them were walking through the throne room when raph got a chill in his shell, the other's were too busy being confused to notice he hung back until they left. As soon as they did Raph reached for his sai as Shredder appeared.

"Turtle." he rumbled, "how fitting of you to notice my presence."

"Yeah, fits like a glove." Raph said, "what are you playing at shred head." he narrowed his eyes, "changed your mind and want to kill me?" Shredder merely looked amused.

"It crossed my mind." he rumbled, "but i had other things to worry about." he flicked his hand and a letter in a sealed envelope slid across the floor to Raph's feet. "Give this to my- to Karai." he said, "and leave before i come back to my senses." Raph watched him carefully as he picked up the letter, Shredder disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Raph!" the others came running back in, weapons out, "what are you doing?" leo demanded, "come on!"

"What's that?" Donnie asked, seeing the letter. Raph looked at the envelope, it had Karai's name written hastily on it.

"I...found it on the floor." he lied quickly, "it has your name on it Karai." Karai took the envelope, looking nonplussed.

"Well let's get going." Leo commanded, "Splinter will want to know the news." everyone walked out again and Raph followed, Karai glanced back at him with her eyes narrowed and then looked to the front of her. Raph wondered vaguely, what Shredder's letter said.

Shredder watched the turtles leave, how odd, that Raphael had offered himself to die to tell him a message from his daughter. And even odder, that Shredder had listened.

hmmmm! is Shredder really leaving New York? What could that letter to Karai say? will Raph's brothers find out what he's hiding form them? you'll find out next week sometime! haha! please review!