Disclaimer: InuYasha is written by Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own anything mentioned in this fanfic besides the idea of the fanfic.
To Love A Human
Chapter Eight
Three days. Three excruciatingly long days. Sesshoumaru could hardly contain himself anymore. His patience was wearing thin and he was growing increasingly irate with each passing hour. Neither one of the couple, Oyasu nor her husband, Shinkei, had spoken to him since the night he brought Rin to their abode. But from what he had been observing, things weren't going well. And Sesshoumaru was nearing the point where he could hardly restrain himself from killing them for their incompetence.
Three days! And he hadn't been able to rest for even a second during that time.
Sesshoumaru grounded his teeth in frustration, but whether he liked it or not, the only thing he could do was to wait. He had been sitting on that same spot under the huge tree for most of the three days, venturing to the cliff end only on short intervals before returning to watch the hut with the utmost observance. He estimated that if Rin should recover, it would only take another few days across the mountainous plains to reach Buryuso. His goal was so close, yet so far.
The first day had gone well. He had watched with lighter spirits as Oyasu and Shinkei scurried about with their daily routines, as well as tending to Rin. His keen sense of hearing enabled him to listen in on their conversations. Oyasu told Shinkei that Rin broke through the fever and that she looked like she would regain her health in no time. They had gone about with relieved smiles for the rest of the day.
But towards the end of the first day, something changed.
Sesshoumaru closed his eyes as he recalled the terrifying scream that pierced through the quiet night air.
The little hut became a buzz of activities after that. The lamps were lit and the windows and doorway glowed with their flickering shadows. Oyasu and Shinkei were exchanging hurried words with each other – words that didn't sound at all positive.
He could hear Rin calling his name softly; weakly, followed by more commotion from Oyasu and Shinkei. Apparently they were discussing whether they should call him in or not. When Shinkei glanced out the doorway to look for Sesshoumaru though, Sesshoumaru had simply looked away, as if not caring. He was determined not to give himself away.
"We'll call him if it gets serious then," said Oyasu quietly after Shinkei spoke with her. "The girl still has some fight in her left."
That last line was what Sesshoumaru forced himself to focus on despite everything else that he heard.
Time dragged on with an effect of sharpened nails on a smooth surface for the next two days. Each time Rin cried out, Sesshoumaru felt a chill in his blood. Each time, he strained his ears to listen for any hopeful diagnosis from the couple. Each time, he heard the laboured breaths Rin drew and her pleas for him.
Rin was weakening, this he knew. He didn't even want to think about the implications of that fact. His heart was in adamant denial. To sit there for days, unable to do anything while Rin was in agony, felt worse than torture. He had never known anything quite like it before. He had to draw his thoughts away, he decided.
He ventured deep into the woods, far enough from the hut so that he could no longer pick up Rin's scent nor hear her pitiful screams; far away from everything. There, he unleashed all the pent up frustration of the past few days.
He slashed viciously at the forest life there – the trees, flowers, critters, youkai – nothing was spared. As if in a duel with some unknown, formidable enemy, he attacked with all the seamless accuracy and lethality of a full inu-youkai. All his senses concentrated on his technique, like in the days when his father was training him. Anyone would have been in awe of his power, or the imperial grace with which he carried himself, or even the way his robes glided as he darted each and every way, had they been there to witness it. (inu-youkai: dog demon)
The ground beneath him shook as the trees fell one by one, but he couldn't care less for any of it. His face was a perfect mask of impassiveness as he gazed on at the field of destruction he created.
-
-
It was well after sunset when Sesshoumaru returned. He looked as fresh as when he had set out. Not a strand of his white hair was out of place, not a single fold of his robes was out of alignment. The only thing that was at unrest was his mind.
As the view of this hut gradually appeared before him in the distance, he noticed something that made him stop on his tracks. Waiting outside of the hut was someone.
Shinkei?
Sesshoumaru's expression turned grim as he continued walking, trying to ignore the cold numbness spreading through his veins.
What happened to Rin?
Had she died? Sesshoumaru thought with sickening dread. He wasn't sure if he wanted to find out. Either way, Shinkei had something urgent to tell him. The man was looking in every direction, no doubt trying to find him. The moment he did, he hurried over and stopped at a respectable distance from him.
As Sesshoumaru stopped to acknowledge him, Shinkei bowed deeply and did not raise his head as he spoke.
"Sesshoumaru-sama… my wife has asked me to speak to you. We would like to request that you spend some time with the girl whom you have entrusted in our care. We're sorry to say that she – " Shinkei could only gasp out the rest of his words.
Sesshoumaru had listened to a point where he knew he did not want to hear anymore. His nerves had been pushed to the edge over the past few days and it was the last straw. His composure snapped and in the blink of an eye between Shinkei's words, he darted forward and grabbed the man by his throat with a vice-like grip.
Lifted high off the ground, Shinkei choked and struggled, trying to free himself. He tried to speak, words that Sesshoumaru already knew he was trying to say.
"Ma – … te…" (matte: wait)
But Sesshoumaru only tightened his hold on him, his rage at breaking point. His eyes were blazing amber as he glared furiously at the incompetent and utterly useless human being in his clutches.
"What did you say?" Sesshoumaru demanded dangerously, as if challenging Shinkei to tell him the truth of the matter.
He had let them take care of Rin.
He had entrusted them with her health.
And they had let her die.
They had let Rin die.
He narrowed his eyes in anger as he held the man captive, deadly acid threatening to seep out from his hand.
"Yamete!" cried a woman's voice in the distance. Oyasu was running towards them, desperate to stop what was about to happen. (yamete: stop)
"Yamete kudasai!" she said, falling to her knees before the dangerously glowing white-haired youkai lord and begging him with clasped hands. "It was my fault. Please, let him go!"
But Sesshoumaru would not be fazed. He had already planned to take care of the woman after he was done with her husband.
"Onegai! Blame me if you want but let my husband go! He is innocent. He has only been trying to help!" (onegai: please)
Shinkei's strugglesgrew more frantic as he was suffocating. And still, Sesshoumaru held him firmly. His fingers only tightened around the man's neck with each plea from Oyasu.
"Shinkei!"
-
And suddenly, amidst the noise that surrounded him, he heard it. It was a soft and very faint sound, but it was there.
Rin was calling for him.
Rin was alive!
Sesshoumaru was thrown off. The deadly aura dispelled from around him and he released Shinkei, dropping him in a heap on the ground.
"Tell me what is going on," he demanded.
Oyasu rushed to her unconscious husband. If Sesshoumaru had held on any longer, he would most certainly have died.
"It's my fault," said Oyasu, cradling Shinkei, tears of relief springing from her eyes when she found that Shinkei was still breathing. "I gave her the herbal tea that acted like a sedative," she explained.
"Sedative?"
"Hai, to ease her of the pain. It put her to sleep at the same time. The serum which you collected the herbs for was meant to help strengthen her soul."
"And then what happened?"
"We didn't expect it to turn out this way. When the serum strengthened her soul, it heightened her thoughts and emotions. We thought she was getting better, but she suddenly took a turn for the worse. I suspect that she's trapped in some sort of nightmare and it's making her lose the will to live.
"There's nothing else we can do for her. We thought that maybe if you stayed by her, she might get better again. If not… I'm afraid that…" Oyasu couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. "She's very weak now," she said softly instead. "And she keeps calling your name in her sleep."
Without a word, Sesshoumaru began walking towards the hut. Oyasu stared after him as he quietly lifted the bamboo sheet from the doorway and disappeared inside. But her thoughts soon returned to Shinkei and she hugged him tightly, knowing that their lives had been narrowly spared.
-
Inside, Sesshoumaru stood silently, his eyes fixed on the place where Rin lay. When he had heard her calling his name earlier on, he almost felt as if his heart had stopped for that split second. The gravity of his actions weighed down on him and he knew then that his life would never be the same again without Rin by his side.
"Sesshoumaru-sama," Rin murmured again in her sleep, her face contorted with discomfort.
He walked over to her futon and knelt beside her. He could hear her shallow breaths and the weakening pulse of her heart. He could see the dried stream of tears at the corners of her eyes. Her skin had become deathly pale and her hair had lost its lustrous shine.
Yet even as she laid there, a pathetic display of death and disease, she looked more beautiful to Sesshoumaru than ever. How he longed to see those bright eyes of hers open once more to look up at him adoringly.
No longer self-conscious of his actions, Sesshoumaru reached out to her and gently cupped her cheek with his hand. The same hand that had but not a moment ago displayed violent brutality now caressed the flesh of a human ever so tenderly.
"Rin, I am here," he said softly to her.
She stirred very slightly, but otherwise showed no reaction that acknowledged his presence.
"You probably can't even hear me," he continued after watching her for a moment. Her cheek felt chilled to him and he drew his hand away to pull the covers up on her a little more.
Perhaps if he had put aside his pride for just a while and stayed with her while she battled her illness, she would not have deteriorated into such a condition, Sesshoumaru thought solemnly. Knowing Rin, just one gesture or word from him was the determining factor to her spirits. Could it be that if he had just been here beside her instead of stubbornly and distantly outside, she would be better?
Sesshoumaru didn't know the answers, but he was well aware of the acid regret that shot through him. There was much that Rin had yet to understand about him and her place with him. Just as there was much that he needed to understand about her importance to him. But he never desired to tell her anything because he could not stand bringing himself down to a level where he felt obliged to anyone.
And now, he wondered if any of it mattered. Even with all the supreme powers and prestige he inherited from his father, he could not save the life of one human girl. A human girl who was so much a part of his life, whether he wanted to admit it or not.
"Oboeteoku, Rin, the time when you asked me if I would forget you if you die," Sesshoumaru asked her gently, aware that this was the first time he'd ever spoken to anyone besides his dead mother at such a personal level. (translation: Do you remember, Rin?)
There was not a soul in sight to know of anything that would happen in the hut. Jaken would not know and neither would the Shimizu couple. They weren't close enough to pick up anything. If this was to be the last time he would ever be able to speak to Rin, even if his words fell on deaf ears, Sesshoumaru felt that she at least deserved to know that she had been as much of a part of his life as knew he was of hers.
"You are a very important thing to me and I know that you have faithfully carried out any duties bestowed on you to the best of your abilities for me." His eyes searched her face intently, hoping for some sign of recognition.
"There is one more thing left and if you could fulfil that, you will be able to stay with this Sesshoumaru forever," he ended quietly. But Rin made no movement other than the feeble rise and fall of her body with each breath she took.
Sesshoumaru drew back against the wooden panels of the hut and rested his arm atop his knee. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes and recalled the way Rin had first smiled happily at him. Her face may have been bruised and she may have been in pain from her sustained injuries, but her unerring devotion to him was apparent even then. It had never wavered even once in all the time that she was with him.
With a growing chill in his heart, Sesshoumaru wondered if he would ever see that smile again.
He knew that he would never, ever, forget Rin.
-
-
Rin was in despair. Every inch of her hurt as though she was covered with boiling blisters. Her joints felt as if they were being severed each time she moved. She could no longer tell the difference between reality and her dreams. In her disoriented mind, it was all the same. But more painful than anything else was her heart. It felt wounded, empty, shattered.
Sesshoumaru-sama…
She had cried and cried, but he would not come back to her. She didn't know where was Jaken or Ah-Un either. Once again, she had lost the ones in her life who were most precious to her. She was alone again, desolate and unwanted.
In her mind, she had already envisioned her reunion with Sesshoumaru. She dreamt that she was with her family again. Just as before, they were attacked and murdered by bandits. But just as the bandits turned on her with their bloodthirsty grins, Sesshoumaru appeared and finished them off. Oh the joy and elation she felt as she hurried to follow him. Sesshoumaru-sama had come for her.
She was happily following behind his footsteps when she realised that he'd brought her to another village.
"Rin, it is time for you to return to your kind. You don't belong with me."
No! She refused. Humans are bad. Please let me stay with Sesshoumaru-sama!
This time, instead of turning around and letting her follow him, Sesshoumaru elevated himself and flew off instead.
She ran as far as she could, but it was no use.
Sesshoumaru-sama… please come back, she sobbed quietly.
There was nothing left for her anymore. She was too tired to go on. The pain consumed her and she embraced it.
-
It felt like an eternity had passed and in her mind, Rin was still where Sesshoumaru had left her. Darkness surrounded her and she couldn't see anything anymore. But as she knelt there in cold despair, she felt a warmth coming from beside her.
Areh wa… nande? (translation: what is that?)
Slowly, Rin turned to her side, only to find herself gazing up at someone standing over her. His face was covered in a bright light, making it difficult for her to identify him.
White hair…
The light hurt her eyes and she rubbed at them. Could it be…?
Slowly, Rin blinked open her eyes. She then realised that she was no longer on the ground of a forest and that she was in fact, lying in that same futon. Light from the rising sun streamed in through the window and fell harshly on her face.
She squinted. A dream?
But that warmth at her side remained. What was it? Rin shifted in her futon and found herself staring up into sharp amber eyes.
-
Sesshoumaru gasped, eyes widening, unable to hide his surprise when Rin looked up at him with those gorgeous brown eyes of hers – a scene that mirrored the time when he had raised her with Tenseiga.
"Sesshoumaru-sama?" she whispered, barely able to believe what she saw. There he was in all his magnificence, seated next to her the whole time.
"Rin…"
"Hontou ni Sesshoumaru-sama?" said Rin in a weak but excited voice as she tried to get up. (translation: Is it really Sesshoumaru-sama?)
Before Sesshoumaru could react, Rin had her arms around his neck. Her body pressed uncomfortably against the hard spikes of his armour, but she didn't seem to mind.
"Sesshoumaru-sama really came back for me," she said, burying her face in the softness of his fur pelt as she started to cry.
It took Sesshoumaru a moment to recover from the shock over Rin's behaviour. He didn't really understand it, but it didn't stop the overwhelming relief that washed over him and the tenderness that he felt for her.
"Aa," he said softly, placing his hand on her back and closing his eyes. I've come back for you. (aa: yes; generally restricted to male speakers)
-
Author's Notes: I think I nearly died writing this chapter. This has by far been the most challenging chapter I've ever written. So please, PLEASE review!
I struggled a lot with this chapter… I spent days thinking about how to do it. Action, drama, angst… all into one .;;; And when I was writing it, I stopped at practically every paragraph, wondering if I was pushing Sesshoumaru too far and making him out of character.
I know that the way I portrayed Sesshoumaru in this chapter may not be perfect and I don't deny it. But I also have a reasoning as to why Sesshoumaru is capable of deep feelings. If you observe carefully, Sesshoumaru is not some block of ice where he doesn't care about anything. The series has made it quite obvious that he is capable of persistent passion (to find Tetsusaiga) and deep contempt (for his brother).
Now to be able to feel such extremely negative feelings, one must also be capable of the opposite (Ying and Yang theory). Sesshoumaru was probably extremely hurt somewhere in the past (by his father, death of his mother, or something along those lines)… that's why he carries that contempt for Inuyasha and what he represents underneath that cool exterior.
And he's not always calm and cool. There have been many instances where he's lost his temper, whether it's fighting with Inuyasha or Naraku or whatever. He'd raise his voice, yell, threaten to transform, etc…
All right, enough of my rambling x.x;;; Just felt like sharing some thoughts. This chapter is still in its first few drafts as usual. Did I mention that I really hate the new document system and coding?
Before I forget, here's a doodle I did on Sesshoumaru and Rin while I was trying to get over my writer's bock for this chapter (due to coding problems, I can't stick in the url. Type deviantart dot com slash view slash 21322898 if you wanna see). Hope you guys like it :) It's for all my loyal readers like Aurora-san :D Thank you for your continuous support!
Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!