The morning was spent in the forest. After Colin came down the beanstalk and chopped the beanstalk at its base, an enormous Hagrid fell to the ground and died. Luckily, he shrunk back to his normal size (if you could call Hagrid's size normal), woke up, and helped us find the people in the forest.

Snow White was there with her seven first year dwarves. Professor Sprout fed her the poisoned apple and Snow White fell into a deep slumber. She was placed in a glass casket until the prince found her and kissed her and they turned back into students. We went inside the castle and concluded Alice in Wonderland; much to my amusement, Mr. Filch made an adorable white rabbit. Lavender Brown had been Alice, and when we told her what had happened, she went hysterical, saying she predicted this would happen in Divination earlier that week.

Sleeping Beauty was surprisingly quick, as she had already fallen asleep in her Ravenclaw dormitory. We just put the hat on her head, and the prince was there within minutes, kissing her.

I was becoming increasingly jealous of the princes who got to kiss the princesses, who were all attractive seventh year girls.

Throughout all of this, Ron and I kept a sharp eye out for a student who might be acting like a frog prince to get Hermione out of her story, but no frog prince could be found. Ron suggested just keeping the hat on Hermione and letting the prince come to her like all the others had, but I told him it would be impossible for a real frog to get through the portrait hole. Ron just frowned, and I wondered how much he wished to have been the frog prince.

Every time we released students from their fantasy, it became easier to resolve other stories because we had more and more people to help us out; it was easier to keep the evil people like the witch from Hansel and Gretel from attacking their counterparts with increasingly more people in reality.

The Emperor's New Clothes was a great story to finish, since Colin was free with camera in hand. Once out of his story, Malfoy didn't believe that he had been running around naked.

"Oh, I'll let you see the pictures when they're developed," Colin assured him.

"Yeah, we'll make posters for you and hang them in the halls," Ron laughed. Malfoy stormed off toward the Slytherin common room.

We wanted to make sure Malfoy had his goons back, so we resolved the three little pigs. Crabbe and Goyle looked more confused than usual as they lumbered back toward their common room.

Night was coming again, but we were making an obvious dent in the number of stories to finish.

Ginny Weasley skipped by us as we passed the Library.

"Ginny!" Ron yelled.

"That's not her name," I reminded him as she skipped around the corner.

"Well then who is she?" he asked. I hadn't mentioned Little Red Riding Hood yet, but it was about time to tackle this story. I told him about Snape and how he had tried to attack Ginny at the beginning of it all.

"We have to let out Snape so he can eat McGonagall," I said. "Red Riding Hood isn't supposed to see her grandmother, just the wolf dressed as her grandma."

"Okay," Ron said. "I'll follow Ginny and make sure she doesn't find Snape on accident." He pulled out his wand and followed her.

"I'll go with you, Harry," Lupin said. "If he's not awake yet we might need to figure something else out."

Sorting Hat in hand, I went down to the dungeons with Lupin at my heels.

We approached the classroom, and I could see that something was wrong. The heavy door had been broken off its hinges and was on the ground in the corridor.

"Oh no," I breathed.

"Are you sure he was in there?" Lupin said, bending down to survey the door.

"Positive," I answered. "I locked the door but I guess he got hungry enough in the past two days to knock it down."

"We've got to hurry," Lupin said suddenly. "We don't know when he escaped. He could be at Minerva's bedside now, without the Sorting Hat on!"

We sprinted up three flights of stairs and down a dozen corridors until we reached Professor McGonagall's room. Sure enough, Snape was there, clawing at the door of a large cabinet with his fingers.

I ran towards him with the Sorting Hat at the ready, prepared to shove it on his greasy head. He turned and swiped at me with his nails. He caught me right on the face, and I fell to the ground. My cheek started stinging, and a drop of blood fell to the stone floor.

Furious, I got up again, and tried to place the hat on Snape's head from behind, but he did a strange backwards kick and nearly got me between the legs. I backed away and looked at Lupin for help. Lupin swished his wand and muttered. The hat floated from my grasp and to the ceiling. It floated over Snape's head for a moment, before falling and forcing itself onto his scalp.

Dark, greasy hair started to sprout from Snape's skin. His nose became long and snout-like. Although he still stood on two legs, he hunched forward awkwardly much like the three bears did. The room transformed into a small house; the cabinet transformed into a wardrobe that sat against the wall.

"Come, Harry!" Lupin said, beckoning me to the door. I backed away slowly as Snape's greasy hair finished growing. He growled, and spotted me, his eyes cold and heartless (no change from real life) which normally didn't frighten me, but Snape also wouldn't normally try to eat me.

I sprinted as fast as I could towards the door. Lupin shot a spell over my shoulder, which caught Snape enough to keep him from biting me. I dove out of the room and Lupin slammed the door behind me.

"What about McGonagall?" I asked breathlessly.

"He's got the hat on, she'll be fine."

"What if it falls off? I mean, he's pretty wild..."

Lupin considered this, and thought for a few moments before remembering a spell and using it on the door. The wood became see-through.

"Snape can't see us," Lupin explained. "This way we can make sure the hat stays on." We watched as Snape used his real claws to tear into the wardrobe. A frail McGonagall was inside, hiding behind a slew of old lady's dresses. She screamed as the wolf picked her up with his long claws and held her over his head. He opened his mouth wide, drool dripping from his long teeth. I felt like I needed to do something to save McGonagall, but Lupin put a hand on my shoulder to keep me in place. Snape lowered her head into his mouth and her scream was silenced. He swallowed her whole, his thin belly filling out to a normal size. He laughed and growled at his success. He returned to the wardrobe, where he took out a dress and a bonnet. He dressed himself and settled into the small bed, pulling the covers over his long nose.

"Now we just wait for Ginny," Lupin said.

"He has to eat Ginny, too, doesn't he?" I realized out loud. Ron wouldn't be happy about that at all.

"She'll be fine, that hat's not going anywhere," Lupin reassured me.

Ron arrived with Ginny about half an hour later. Lupin erased his spell from the door to not confuse Ginny.

"Took you long enough," I said, getting up from the place where I had been sitting against the wall.

"I figured it would take a while to get him up from the dungeons," Ron said, shrugging. I told him about how Snape had escaped. Ron's eyes grew wide.

"At least he didn't find Ginny" he breathed. "That would have been..."

"Bad." Lupin said quickly. "But he didn't, so don't worry about it, Ron."

"I'm at Grandma's house!" Ginny said. "Thanks for your help, young man," she said to Ron.

"No problem," he muttered.

Ginny went through the door quietly as if not to wake her grandmother. Lupin cast the spell on the door again so we could make sure everything went correctly.

"I don't like this," Ron decided, as Ginny approached the bed.

"The Sorting Hat is in place," Lupin said to Ron in the same assuring voice as he had used with me.

"What large eyes you have!" Ginny exclaimed.

"Oh, the better to see you with my dear!"

Ron began to pace.

"What a large nose you have!" Ginny gasped.

"Oh, the better to smell you with, my dear"

"What large hands you have!

"The better to hug you with... my dear"

The wolf was getting anxious. Any moment he would pounce on Ginny. I thought about walking Ron to the end of the hallway, but he had stopped pacing and was watching intently, his hands pressed against the invisible door.

"What large ears you have!"

"The better to hear you with my dear"

I heard Ron swallow loudly.

"Come on, Ron," I whispered. "Let's just not watch."

"No," he shook my hand from his shoulder. "I have to make sure she's okay."

"What large teeth you have!"

"Oh the better to EAT YOU WITH!"

It happened in a flash. Snape simply opened his mouth and gulped down Ginny's entire head and torso. Her legs kicked violently as he turned his head to the ceiling. He let her kick the air for a few moments. Then, their movement slowed until they didn't move at all. He swallowed the rest of her, his belly huge from the two bodies he had eaten.

Snape the wolf tried to get up, but his stomach was so full he couldn't move.

"No matter," he said out loud to himself. "I'll just take a nap until they're digested." He fell asleep almost instantaneously.

Ron was very pale, but turned to me and half-smiled as if he was okay.

"Remember, she's fine" I said. "Hagrid died in his story, and came back to life the moment it was over."

"I just hope that woodcutter gets here soon," Ron said.

"Actually," Lupin said. "Ginny won't die at all... In the story, Red Riding Hood is still alive in his belly," Lupin said.

"I don't know if that makes me feel better," Ron confessed. A few minutes later, Snape's stomach jolted and moved as if he was pregnant with a rather animated whomping willow. It must have been too much for Ron, because he turned slightly green and sprinted towards the boys' toilet at the end of the corridor.

"I'm going to see if he's okay," Lupin said, following closely behind. He took the spell off the door. "If the woodcutter comes let me know so I can put the spell back on the door."

Thankfully, the woodcutter didn't take long to arrive, though it was humorous to see who it was.

"Madam Pomfrey?" I exclaimed as she came up dressed like a male woodcutter in long pants and a flannel shirt. I had never seen her wearing anything but her uniform, and it was funny to see her in such an outfit.

"I saw a little girl earlier," she said roughly, "that wolf hasn't gotten her has he?"

"See for yourself," I said, motioning toward the door.

Madam Pomfrey pulled an ax from her work belt and held it expertly. She opened the door with the other hand. As soon as it shut, I pulled out my wand. Lupin had performed the spell twice now, and I was pretty sure I could do it myself. I didn't want to embarrass Ron by coming in while he was being sick. I said the spell, and the door became transparent, although not as much of it had changed as when Lupin had done it. Somewhat proud of myself, I watched Madam Pomfrey approach the bed.

She put an ear to Snape's hairy stomach and her eyes grew wide.

Good, I thought, she knows Ginny's in there.

Madam Pomfrey put her axe away and pulled a knife from the belt. She carefully chose where to make the incision, and lowered the knife. Just before the blade touched the skin...

"GRAWWWWR!"

Snape woke up in a fury. Still unable to move because of his oversized stomach, he thrashed around, trying to pry the knife from Madam Pomfrey's grip. She hit his paw away and jumped from his reach. I tried to stay calm, telling myself that it was part of the story and that she would get him eventually. Snape didn't stop trying to move from the bed. He scratched at the wooden headboard and twirled his legs, shredding all the sheets on the bed.

All of a sudden, a claw on his front left paw caught the Sorting Hat and it flew from his head.

The wolf turned into the human Snape, who was in much more agony as a person than as a wolf. His stomach was grotesquely large, to the point where his robes had ripped and the skin beneath them threatened to tear as well.

I burst into the room, diving for the Sorting Hat. Madam Pomfrey, who didn't care whether the hat was on or not, tried to get at Snape's belly again. As much as I hated Snape, I couldn't let him die from a Fantasy Tonic disaster, so I hit the knife from her hand, which was actually a scalpel from the hospital wing. It went clanging across the floor.

Snape's cries of agony were so inhumanly loud and full of pain that I had to help him somehow.

Between Snape's screams, I could hear a dull screaming from within Snape's stomach. It was Ginny. It sounded like she was in as much pain as he was. His taut stomach moved from within. I suddenly felt like Ron had when he first saw it.

Except then, it hat just been part of the story.

I needed to get the hat on someone! Snape was flailing too much to get close enough, so I turned to Madam Pomfrey.

I hadn't noticed that she had retrieved the scalpel while I was watching Snape, and all of the sudden I felt a piercing sharp pressure just above my left hipbone. White-hot pain shot through my body as I realized Madame Pomfrey had stabbed me.

"You're trying to help the wolf!" she accused me, pulling out the scalpel. Blood began to spill out of the wound faster than I imagined it could. I held my hand against it, but it felt like my muscles weren't working properly enough to stop the bleeding. She started towards Snape again, scalpel at the ready. I mustered my energy and slapped it from her hand with my blood-soaked fingers.

She angrily retrieved it and came at me again, aiming at my chest. I ducked out of the way, but it caught me in the shoulder, and penetrated deeply. It suddenly felt like I wasn't wearing my glasses because my vision became completely blurry.

I remember how the coldness of the floor felt so good against my face. I didn't want to get up because the stone felt like ice against my burning cheek.

I dreamt that a woodpecker landed next to me and poked at my wounds.

"Stop it!" I'd cry, but he'd keep poking at them with his beak until they got bigger and bigger. The hole in my shoulder was big enough to fit my entire hand through. I sat up and found a desk with a large book on top of it. "Hogwarts, a History" it read. I opened it to a page near the middle, and there was a picture of me dead on the classroom floor. Words began to appear and told of the Fantasy Tonic disaster, how Ginny and McGonagall died, how Snape had exploded and I was stabbed to death. The words didn't make sense when I tried to re-read it, although I tried extremely hard to concentrate on the words.

I felt something cool on my forehead and it woke me from my deep slumber.

"What's going on?" I asked, lifting a heavy arm to feel what had been placed on my head. I opened an eye.

"Shhh, just rest." The light was too bright for me to see who it was, but I recognized the voice immediately

"Hermione!"

I sat up, rubbing my stubborn eyes. Hermione's hand pushed me back down to the pillow. I regained my eyesight and saw that it was midday. Madame Pomfrey was in her uniform, bustling around from bed to bed.

"How long have I been asleep?

"About twelve hours," Hermione guessed, looking down at her watch.

"How did you get out of your story?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"The Fantasy Tonic," I mumbled, my head beginning to pound.

"What's Fantasy Tonic?" she asked.

Did I just make up that entire thing? What was going on? Was I just waking up from the Potion's class mishap?

"I'm going crazy," I confessed. Hermione was trying to suppress a laugh. "What's so funny?" I demanded.

"You're not crazy. I was just kidding." She smiled at my sigh of relief. "Ron freed me from my Fantasy Tonic story," she explained, "right after saving you from your little woodcutter problem."

Hermione told me about what happened after I had been stabbed. Ron and Lupin came in just as Madame Pomfrey tried to cut open Snape and put the Sorting Hat on her head. That story finished, and Ginny and McGonagall came out of it with burns all over their body from Snape's real life stomach acid. Since Madame Pomfrey had been right there next to me when she emerged from her story, she was able to heal my wounds. She then helped Ginny, McGonagall, and Snape (to shrink his stomach back to a normal size). While we were taken to the hospital wing, Ron and Lupin finished out all the remaining stories.

"So is everyone cured?" I asked.

"We think so," Hermione said. "If anyone starts acting goofy, the teachers are to send the student here where Madame Pomfrey will put the Sorting Hat on their head.

Madame Pomfrey was just passing by my bed when Hermoine said that. The angst-ridden nurse looked down at me and stopped mid-stride.

"I'm so sorry Harry!" she exclaimed suddenly, rushing to my side. "I'll never forgive myself for this! Hurting a student... I should be fired."

"It wasn't your fault," I said, rubbing my stiff, mended shoulder.

"I still feel terrible," she said, straightening up. "If you need ANYTHING, you just let me know."

"Looks like I can get some free trips to the hospital wing if I wanted," I whispered to Hermione as Madame Pomfrey walked away. "Just in case Potions is too much to bear." Hermione just smiled.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" I asked suddenly. "Normally you'd tell me not to fake being sick. And you definitely wouldn't lie to me about not knowing what happened."

"I don't know," she replied, blushing. Ron came in with a handful of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.

"Ah! You're awake!" he said, popping an orange one into his mouth.

"What's wrong with Hermoine?" I asked Ron right away. He looked nervous all of a sudden.

"Apparently, the frog prince found me before the Sorting Hat was placed on my head," Hermione said quietly. "We kissed for hours before Ron and Lupin found us."

"Okay, that's enough," Ron said, offering Hermione his beans to shut her up.

"And then," Hermione continued, pushing Ron's hand away. "Ron ran over, and shoved the hat on my head. I kissed the frog and he turned into a prince and the potion's effects were gone. But Ron..."

"That's enough!"

"Ron, he shoved the prince out of the way and--"

"And I kissed you. Okay! Here, Harry, have a bean."

I knew there was something there, but didn't want to tell either of them that I did. It was only a matter of time until Ron finally did something about it. I just took an Every Flavored Bean and popped it into my mouth. I nibbled on the nice chocolate while Ron gagged on a tar flavored one. Hermione just smiled.

We sat for a while, talking about the strangeness of it all, when Hermione became quiet all of a sudden.

"What's wrong?" Ron asked. Hermione was staring at me with an odd expression.

"If everyone at Hogwarts was affected by Fantasy Tonic," Hermione said slowly to me, "why weren't you stuck in a story?"

"I don't know," I confessed. "From the beginning, everyone thought I was part of their story."

"Have you tried to put on the Sorting Hat?" Hermione persisted.

"No."

Ron and Hermione exchanged glances.

"Why don't we just do it, to see what happens?" she said.

"Why even bother?" I said, swallowing another flavored bean. Hermione seemed to take this as some kind of challenge, because she left my bedside, walking towards Madam Pomfrey's office.

"Well, it can't hurt, can it?" Ron said.

A few minutes later, Hermione returned, Sorting Hat in hand. For some strange reason, I was feeling nervous about placing the magical hat on my head. Ron took the hat and handed it to me.

"Good luck, mate," he said.

I placed the hat on my own head. I felt an odd sensation, as if under the Imperius Curse, and began talking. I didn't remember what I said, but when Hermione reached to take the hat from my head, she was smiling broadly.

"There, I guess we're all done!"

"Wait!" I exclaimed. "What just happened?"

"You've just finished it off!" Ron said happily. "Everyone's cured."

"What did I say, though?" I asked, thoroughly frustrated.

"You've been the narrator," Hermione explained. "That's why you weren't part of any one story!"

"But what did I say?"

The Sorting Hat cleared his throat and the rip at the brim opened wide.

"You said:
The Fantasy Tonic has been extracted from all in the castle, the final one being myself. I, the storyteller of all the stories am now released from the influence of the Fantasy Tonic. I, and all those residing in the castle Hogwarts shall all live happily ever after."

The End