The Monokuma Show: Pilot
Hey guys, It's me Notadeadguy back again with another chapter. I've really been on a roll as of late. However, this chapter ain't like the others. I wanted to take a quick break from the story after I dropped that Huge Bomb last chapter. This chapter is pretty much optional to anyone since it technically doesn't relate to the story directly, in fact I was just messing around. But hey if you still wanna read, sure let's have some fun shall we?
...
It was the morning of the Killing game
When all through the Streets
Not a single student was stirring
Not even a twinge in their feets
Little did these children know
That on the very streets they lay
A mischievous little bear
Comes on out to play
Suddenly the screens on the buildings
Flicker to life
They gurgle static wildly as they change channels
It was like chaotic strife
Now the image comes clear on the screen
On the rise of the Morning Sun
The Monokuma Show...
Has Begun.
*Cue Mr. Monokuma's Class (Play this music it fits well for the opening)*
The scene opens like a morning talk show, the camera zooms in on a nearby desk as the audience begins to cheer
Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman... Bitches and Bastards... Please give us a warm welcome to the one... the Only... MONOKUUMAAAAAAAA!
Monokuma suddenly pops out of the desk and plops right on top of it. It was wearing a flashy set of shades and fancy red business suit with a golden tie around it's neck. It even had a bushy brown mustache on it's face, that curled whenever it flashed a toothy grin.
Monokuma:Sup Assholes! *Drinks a glass of Champagne* Ya Miss ME!?
The Audience cheers roar across the entire studio causing the very ground to shake. It almost shakes Monokuma off it's seat.
Monokuma: W-Whoa! Judging from that burst of excitement you guys are ready to party huh? It's despairingly wonderful to know I have all these annoying fans with me, but that just makes me love you guys even more!
The Audience goes "Awwwww" simultaneously at Monokuma's slightly heartfelt praise.
Monokuma: But before we get down to all the good stuff, there are some new viewers today on the show, and so I have to deal with the pain of explaining what the hell this is all about. ...*Pauses Briefly to take a sip of it's drink* Well after the release of DRV3 on the west, Spike Chunsoft had a lot of money left over from sales. In fact, they had so much money they had no idea what to do with it. And guess who got a major pay raise after that?... That's Right... Me!
Money suddenly starts to rain down on the set, littering the floor in wads of bills. The crowd claps and cheers as the paper flies everywhere.
Monokuma: *Laughs Maniacally* Honestly, once I got the big checks, I was in the same slump as my creators on what to do with all my money. So, like every reasonable adult, I decided to do the most likely idea a bear like me would have... Start my own Television Talk Show! It's nothing special really, all I ever do in this show is talk to my lovely students, read fan letters, and all sorts of other crazy shenanigans. But before we get into the good stuff let's talk about the weather with the worst character in existance... Monomi!
...Weather With Monomi...
The Screen cuts to a Weather Diagram similar to the one seen on the new. The only difference was that it was drawn by crayon, as if it was by a small child.
Monomi: Hello Evewyone! It's me Monomi! Here to tell evewyone about the weather *pulls out a magic wand and uses it to point at the Diagram. It will be vewy sunny today, with little pwecipitation coming fwom the north. However, later tonight, there will be cloudy with a chance of-
All of a sudden the screen comes back to Monokuma
Monokuma: Anvils, Monomi. It's Cloudy with a Chance of Anvils, Monomi.
Monomi: Wait wha-
Before Monomi realized what was going on, Monokuma immediately presses a Button on his desk which causes several anvils to fall on top of Monomi; crushing her. Canned Laugher echoes across the stage, while Monokuma is laughing it's ass off.
Monokuma: Aahahhahahahhahahahahahah!... Oh man, I just love to do that! Ahahahhahahahhahahaha... Ok now that the little nuisance is gone, it's time we got to fun stuff. Yep, that's right folks, it's everybody's favorite segment: Meet the Cast!
...Meet The Cast...
The screen zones back into Monokuma's Set. The only difference was that the whole room was dark. The only form of luminescence was the red light coming from Monkuma's eye and the spotlights that circled the area. A drum was rolling in the background to build hype for the audience.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman... Bitches and Bastards... Today's guest is a moody emo punk who likes to loiter around the Streets of Shibuya. He's an Enigma in the killing game who constantly keeps the crowd guessing, with his witty banter and deceitful nature among his fellow peers. Everyone please give a warm welcome to the Stray Kat himself... Kuroshiro Yoshimuraaaaaaaaaaaaa!
The lights turn back on to reveal the Main Protagonist himself was strapped to an electric chair right next to Monokuma's Spot. The young man was apparently unconscious since he was literally drooling on the chair. The sound of the audience clapping was able to wake him up however.
Kuroshiro: ...Huh?... Wha?... Where am I?
Monokuma: Good Morning Sunshine~!
Kuroshiro: What the fuck!? *tries to escape but realizes he's strapped to the chair* What's going on here!? Where the hell am I now!? Damn you stupid Bear, what are you up to this time!?
Monokuma: Relax Mr. Protagonist, you're on TV. Isn't that great?
Kuroshiro: No.
Monokuma: Too Bad! You're my special guest this episode whether you like it or not!
Kuroshiro: Do we really have to do this?
Monokuma: Unless you wanna get zapped with over 10,000 volts of electricity running through you, be my guest.
Kuroshiro: ... Ok fair enough.
Monokuma: *Claps his hands in joy* Oh goodie goodie goodie! Glad we could get that all sorted out! Now let's get started. All you gotta do is answer my questions and you answer them; simple as that. Oh and that chair you're on is a lie detector, so if you say something funny let's just say it won't be pretty...
Kuroshiro: ... Ok let's get this over with.
Monokuma: Fair Enough, First Question!
Question #1: Last Chapter you were introduced as one of the rare "Traitor Protagonists" in Fanfics, what's your opinion on your role?
Kuroshiro: Wait what the hell does that mean? This isn't some stupid fanfic anybody can read.
Monokuma: Don't worry about it ok? None of this shit is canon so don't take it seriously, so just answer the question.
Kuroshiro: Alright... While I'm not exactly thrilled about being this little shit's puppet *points to Monokuma*, I saw benefits in working with the stupid bear. He has some information I seek, and I'm determined to get it. Besides it's not like I give a crap about those morons, they're all hopeless strangers that mean nothing to me.
Monokuma: But what about Yukata and Hewitt? They were you're acquaintences before my killing game yes? Are they also on the same boat as the rest of your classmates?
Kuroshiro: Of course, you actually think I give a shit about those guys? I mean sure I worked with Shades from time to time, but he pays me so I tolerate him. As for Dice... Honestly I can never get a read on that weirdo. He barely ever shows himself around me, and when he does he always talks vaguely like he's that one guy who apparently knows everything but likes to be mysterious about it. It's really annoying.
Monokuma: You know from what I get from you, I just bet you're really just one big Tsundere aren't ya?
Kuroshiro: ...Unless you wanna get caught in the scrapyard, go ahead and call me that.
Monokuma: Upupupupupupupupu... I'd like to see you try... NEXT QUESTION!
Question #2: What are you're exact thoughts on this killing game?
Kuroshiro: It's Stupid. Like seriously, you go so far as to empty Shibuya, kidnap me and a bunch of other idiots, and then trap us here until one of us is dead... Not exactly the best of murder schemes I've ever seen. Like seriously, Eternal Night, what are you some vampire? Shibuya isn't even a smart place to hold a killing game, it's hard to feel trapped in such an open area so the tension of the game is nonexistant.
Monokuma: Oh come on, there have been far worse killing games that have happened elsewhere.
Kuroshiro: *Sarcastic* Yeah right, next you're gonna tell me is that you trapped people in a casino to kill eachother, or maybe some random castle with a stupid name like Tartarus Keep, maybe someplace random like an aquarium or wait, how about some random space station. Yeah, I'm totally sure none of those can go horribly wrong.
Monokuma: ... I think you unconsciously roasted a number of people right now...
Kuroshiro: Relax, what are they going to do to me? Write hateful comments on how I'm a dick? That's literally what everyone on the internet does have the time they're here.
Monokuma presses a nearby button, and Kuroshiro is violently electrocuted for 3 seconds. When it was over, Kuroshiro was gasping for breath.
Kuroshiro: *Gasping for breath* Haaaaahhhhh... Sarcasm Doesn't count as a lie you piece of shit!
Monokuma: YES IT DOES! NEXT QUESTION!
Question #3: What exactly are you hiding beneath your hood?
Kuroshiro: Pass
Monokuma: But-
Kuroshiro: No. Fuck You. Next question.
Question #4: Why are you a complete dick to everyone around you?
Kuroshiro: I think the answer to this one is pretty simple. Everyone's a complete idiot.
Monokuma: That's not a very detailed answer Mr. Protagonist. I'm gonna need more than that if you wanna get out of here.
Kuroshiro: Do I really have to?
Monokuma: Yes! You skipped that last question so you owe me a proper answer otherwise you're getting 20,000 volts!
Kuroshiro: *sighs* Alright... I don't really understand the value of friends and family. To me all I see are humans herding together in an attempt to protect themselves from the hardships of reality. They laugh, they cry, they cherish and bond with each other because they're all afraid of standing up by themselves. It's like a collected conscious that thinks the same, acts the same, and talks the same. I'm not like that. I fully understand what human nature is and as much as everybody likes to sprinkle the fact that what they feel for each other is love, I fully know well that it's fear. A fear of being alone, it disgusts me.
Monokuma: Well ain't that a weird way of seeing things.
Kuroshiro: It's only weird because people see it as weird. I honestly think it's weird you dense idiots don't see the world for what it is. You really think life is that fair?
Monokuma: Of course not! Life is meant for one thing... To feel despair and even more hope-crushing despair! *looks at watch* Well it looks like your times up. Thank you for your answers Mr. Protagonist, but it's time you head on back to the killing game
Kuroshiro: Wait whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
Before Kuroshiro could finish that statement, Monokuma presses a button, which causes Kuroshiro to get launched out of the chair and out the window. His screams faded into the background as he flew further away from the set.
Monokuma: ...Don't worry about it, he's still alive. Now onto the next segment of the show. But first...
...Weather With Monomi...
After being subsequently crushed by a ton of anvils, Monomi weakly crawls out of the pile with mild bruises and stuffing popping out.
Monomi: Don't worwy evewyone... I'm alwight. There's no need to panic... Now to continue with my Weather Weport!... So what was it again?
All of a sudden the screen comes back to Monokuma
Monokuma: Pianos, Monomi. It's raining Pianos, Monomi.
Monomi: Ah Yes, Pianos! It's Waining Piano- Wait a minu-
Before Monomi realized what was going on, Monokuma immediately presses a Button on his desk which causes a giant piano to fall on top of Monomi; crushing her. Canned Laugher echoes across the stage, while Monokuma is laughing it's ass off.
Monokuma: Aahahhahahahhahahahahahah!... Oh man, That never gets old! Ahahahhahahahhahahaha... Ok now that the little nuisance is gone (again), it's time we read some lovely letters from YOU guys. That's right it's time for: Dear Monokuma Senpai!
...Dear Monokuma Senpai...
(Hey Guys it's me the Actual Author of this story to tell you what this segment is all about. Basically I read the comments you give me on my story, and I answer them if they peak my attention. There will be two answers to each question: Monokuma's Reply and my actual response (My actual replies will be in parenthesis so you guys can see what I'm really thinking. The reason I'm doing it like this is because I genuinely want to answer some questions, but I also wanna mess around and try to think about how Monokuma would answer fan letters. Hope you enjoy)
Monokuma snaps it's nonexistant fingers and from the sky lands a large bag of letters. The audience claps for joy as Monokuma pulls out several letters from the pile.
Monokuma: Alright you bastards, let's see what you sent to good ol' Santa Claws this time. *picks one letter from the pile* This one is from... BiBOTOT!
"Dear Monokuma Senpai, Are you going to show us how the redundant characters are horribly murdered?"-BIBOTOT
Monokuma: Sorry Kiddo, as much as I would love to show the excruciating violence my Minions dished out on those leftovers, those idiots forgot to set the cameras to record. So any footage on the death of the leftovers is lost forever. Terribly Sorry.
(I wasn't really planning to show there deaths in the first place, I just wanted to input the concept of an SYOC into a fanfic canonically. There deaths jsut meant that I didn't choose them for the game that's all. By not showing their deaths, I can make it so that those guys can be reused in other SYOC's without showing who they were.)
Monokuma: *Throws away the old letter and pulls out another one* Ok, the next lucky recipient we have is... Tobi-is-an-artist-too!
"Dear Monokuma Senpai, Correct me if I'm wrong but are you by chance influenced by the world ends with you? Just discovered and fell in love with that game so to realize that you to that and smashed it with danganronpa really makes this story prime gold!"- Tobi-is-an-artist-too
Monokuma: *Rips the letter into tiny pieces*Of course not! You think I need someone else's ideas to help create my killing games! I mean, did you see Danganronpa 3!? That was totally MY IDEA! I mean it's not like I stole that idea from some other popular franchise involving trapping people in a nonary game... Right?
(Yes, I took inspiration from TWEWY. I love everything about that game: the characters, the art style, the story, the mechanics, EVERYTHING. I'm honestly surprised no one got it any sooner because last chapter I introduced Mono-Reapers, The setting was Shibuya, and the main character is an expy of Neku Sakuraba. Anyway the Reaper's Game from that game kinda reminded me of the Killing games since I was watching walkthroughs of both of them simultaneously (A story for another time), and I got the idea of mashing them together to make this SYOC. P.S. I got your comments, I plan to redo my grammar for the other chapters as well.)
Monokuma: You know what, Let's just forget about that whole question happened, and move on shall we? *pulls out another letter* Ok this one is from some guy named...Colton989! Let's see what he wrote down...
"Dear Monokuma Senpai, I already don't like the protagonist?"-Colton989
Monokuma: ...I-I'm sorry was that supposed to be a quick question? It doesn't even make any sense! And what about the Protagonist!? I know he ain't exactly the best of characters but that's all you're getting! What did you expect Naegi? Hajime? Blue Naegi (aka Shuichi)? Well guess what asshole, Kuroshiro is the Protagonist of this story! Deal with it!
(Your comment was probably a typo but I'm answering it anyway because I actually have a legitimate reason why I went for this route. To put it bluntly, I honestly find myself having difficulty on writing about stereotypical heroes like Naegi or Hajime. I feel like whenever I do I make a character like that I just end up creating a 2D Mary Sue that has little to no plot development whatsoever. To be honest, I'm more confident about making villain characters rather than heroes. Good examples of some good villains I made in other SYOC's are: Rin Yamamoto from Road to Despair, Kaori Takenaka from Exoneration or Condemnation, Hotaru Nagasaki from Mono-roulette (She's more of an Anti-Villain but she's not exactly good), and my most obvious character Kuroshiro himself. I feel like Villains are much more complex and fun to write about than normal protagonists I've seen, and I've been meaning to reveal Kuroshiro in his dark role for some time since this fic started, which is why I'm pretty happy about last chapter. So sorry if you don't like my Protagonist, but hey this is my story so I choose how my character acts.)
Monokuma: *Tears up the last letter* Ok folks it seems that it's almost time to go
The crowd groans in unison from Monokuma's Revelations
Monokuma: Relax you guys, this doesn't mean that I can't do our last segment... That's right folks, you honestly didn't think I would forget the most important segment of my show? Hah! Are you kidding me!? This segment is a series staple! I would never forget... Now ladies and gentleman... It's the moment you've all been waiting for... It's time for... MONOKUMA THEATER!
The Crowd cheers wildly as Curtains suddenly fall into the set
...Monokuma Theater...
*Cue Mr. Monokuma's Class*
The Curtain rises and all of a sudden the Set was transformed into a stage with cardboard cutouts and other props. Monokuma was standing in the middle of the stage dressed like little red riding hood... if she was packing heat.
Monokuma: *Cocks Shotgun* You know I'm a huge fan of the German Language. There's all sorts of fun words you can say there like Fernweh, Ohrwurm, Kummerspeck, Innerer Schweinehund, Fremdschämen, and Zungenbrecher. But my favorite word out of all of them is Schadenfreude. It's a miraculous word that means to take great joy from someone else's despair. Like taking candy from a baby, kicking an old man from the top of the stairs, pressing all the buttons on the elevator except the floor your friend was supposed to go, or dropping a Cruise Ship on top of your little sister.
Monokuma fires the shotgun onto a nearby target which seems to activate some sort of switch.
Meanwhile Elsewhere...
...Weather with Monomi...
After being subsequently crushed by a piano, Monomi weakly crawls out looking worse for wear.
Monomi: *Breathing Heavily* He...lo... evew...one... I'm... Al...wight... Now...
Before Monomi could let out another word, A giant cruise ship crushed her like a pancake.
The Screen cuts to black, and credits begin to roll.
Cast:
Kuroshiro Yoshimura as the Guest
Monomi as the Nuisance
Monokuma as the Absolute Overlord and Most Amazing Host on the Entire Planet
Background Characters as Background Characters
The End
...
Hey Guys, hope you enjoyed that stupid little segment I made. I was honestly just messing around since I'm still waiting for any other votes I get on the Free-Time poll. By the way, voting ends next Saturday so be sure to vote by then. Anyway, tell me what you thought of this weird little side thing I made. Do you wanna see more of it? Do you want me to add new segments? Or would you rather see me do something else. Anyway Hope you all enjoyed, and hopefully in a few weeks time Free-Time Events can begin. See ya later!
P.S. If you have any ideas for your OC's free time events PM me, due date is the same day voting ends.