A/N: Hey, guys. So, this is my attempt at a full-blown story- but don't worry, it's not going to be like the ones that are 40 chapters long. This is kind of a what-if sort of thing... What if Remus went to Azkaban instead of Sirius? I know the idea has been used a lot, but mine's going to be different, I promise. Obviously, this is AU, and I really hope you enjoy. By the way, this is going to be the shortest chapter, since I'm just setting the scene. The others will be longer.

Enjoy!

Holding Onto Hope

Chapter 1

The year was 1981, and Sirius Black was sitting at his kitchen table, in his tiny apartment, reading an old novel Lily had told him to read. Sirius would never admit it, but he actually liked it- it was about this crazy pirate adventure, though he didn't understand a few parts- it was written by a Muggle author.

Sirius glanced at the clock above the window, to make sure he wouldn't miss the Potters' Halloween dinner. Sirius couldn't wait to see his godson... the kid put light in Sirius' dark life. The second Harry had opened his eyes in that hospital room, Sirius fell in love. He was more scared for Harry than he was ready to admit. Lily and James had decided that their Secret-Keeper would remain anonymous, for safety reasons, and Sirius agreed. He strongly suspected that it was Remus, however. Why wouldn't it be? He knew Peter thought the same- they had discussed it at length. Remus, the two of them knew, could keep a secret.

Sirius' gaze was drawn to the window, and his blood froze when he saw what was staining the horizon.

The Dark Mark.

All he knew about where James and Lily were hiding was that it was somewhere in Godric's Hollow- and that seemed to be exactly where the Mark was hovering.

Stumbling away from the table, Sirius Disapparated, praying, pleading to whoever was listening that it wasn't James and Lily. Not them. Not Harry.

He ran through the neighborhood, searching, following a billowing cloud of smoke, until he came to a house that had been blown apart. He ran through the front door, and stopped in front of a body.

No.

Sirius wasn't aware that he was screaming. He didn't know he was crying. All that mattered, in that moment, was that his brother was dead. Gone. As though he had never existed.

But Sirius knew better.

He knew that James' missing grin would make the world a darker place. He knew that his missing mischievous laughter would make even the noisiest of places sound unnaturally quiet. He knew that he would never be able to fill this gaping hole in Lily and Harry's lives.

Lily and Harry.

"LILY!" Sirius bellowed. "LILY!"

He ran around the house, screaming for the woman who had become like a sister to him. He had never hated silence more. But then he heard it.

A baby's cry.

"I'M COMING HARRY! I'M COMING!"

He flew up the stairs, crashing through doors until he found the right one. He ran over to Harry, scooping the wailing baby up in his arms.

"Shhh," Sirius cooed. "Uncle Padfoot's here. I- I'm here." Sirius began breaking down. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Lily's fiery red hair sprawled over the ground. But he couldn't bear to look at her unseeing eyes. He turned Harry slightly so he couldn't see, either.

There was a noise behind him, and Sirius whirled around.

Remus stood in the doorway, staring at Sirius and Harry in horror.

"No," Remus gasped, then Disapparated.

Sirius hugged Harry to his chest, a hurricane of emotions raging through him. Why had Remus looked so horrified? Why had he been staring at Harry and not his two dead friends? Where had he gone?

And, most hauntingly of all: Was Remus the Secret-Keeper? If he had been... then he betrayed Lily and James, and left Harry orphaned.

Sirius shook his head. He couldn't think like that right now. Harry needed him. Merlin, when he had accepted James' offer to be godfather, he never thought he'd have to actually carry out those duties.

He Disapparated to St. Mungo's, to get the cut on Harry's head looked at. Then he took his godson home, and waited for the Aurors to bring news.

He didn't have to wait long.

By the next morning, Remus Lupin had killed Peter Pettigrew and thirteen muggles, and had been sentenced to a lifetime in Azkaban.

There was no trial.

Sirius didn't care.