A/N:*wearing heavy protective gear and holding a swat armshield thing* Heya!! I'm back with a brand new chapter!! Woohoo!! Happy happy joy joy!! I hope ya'll enjoyed the third chapter and that your plans of assassinating me have vanished though I don't really think that they did after that long, long wait! This chapter's probably full of crap… or maybe worse, I had a writer's block. Dammit! Don't you just hate it when that happens to you? I wanted to rip my head of and slam it on the desk! Oh, I just watched "The Kelly Gang" coz my classmate told me our precious Elf was in it and so she lent me her dvd but unfortunately, it wasn't very nice, the ending. So, I would just like to warn ya'll not to watch it if you're a big fan of Orly. But if you wanna know what happens, fine, watch, but don't say I didn't warn ya! Anywho…
And, um, for those who hate Arwen, hehe… sorry? Uh, you'll find out later! Uh, right, don't kill me though! Please don't!
Special Thanks to…
Katrina: Hey!! One of my precious classmates and most likely to be the first person to commit a bloodbath in school and I'm the poor victim!! Thank you again for reading! You keep on reviewing (even if they say that you wanna kill me or something…)!! How sweet is that?! *breaks down into tears* You reviewed twice!…… with a bunch of weirdos…. LIKE ME!!!
Marice: Yea, Marice, what are you doing to my classmates, ha? Jk! You like it?! You really really like it? Gosh, man! I didn't think you'd read! Katrina told you to, 'no? HA? KATRINA? Jk! I'm so flattered naman! Naiiyak ako! Beanca: 'Grabster' ba? You really think it's great? Shucks, naman! Well, hope you also like this chapter!
Ayka: Proud ba kayo? Thanks ha! You three really touched it here! (punches chest) ow… okay, read na lang…
Intoxicating: Frue!!! You like? You really like? Gosh… I don't think you need to worry about Oreo's death, I told you na what's going to happen, 'no? Yea, I did! And Legolas is ours!! WOOHOO!!
KayteUnfading: Hey! Where'd you go Kayte? Anyways, keep updating that story of yours! It's KILLING ME!!! Please? Please? Please?
Orion: 'Course I updated! Sorry, I took a long time… oh, well, you seem to be hyped about the third chapter! *blushes* aww, man… am I really not wasting your time?
Ymmas Sirron: Dude! Calm down! Oh well, thank you ever so so much for reviewing! You know, getting a new review is like such a BIG deal! So THANKS!! I love reviewers!
Lily: Yeah, it did... and you know, school. Who invented it anyway?! It's just a BIG waste of time!! I mean we get all the education we can get from the Discovery Channel!! Fanfics, too!!
SkiBum: Wow! Really? Man, I'm lucky… thanks a lot! About the Legolas thing, umm, hmm, maybe, maybe not!!
Lux Aeterna: Elves wear socks!! That is SO adorable!!! Okay, I sound like a mom here… anywho, well I hope you get happier with this chapter!
Lamoo: Cool name. Well, here's how Aragorn feels right now! :p
Gwyn: I'm trying with the language thing! It's just so hard!! (pathetic, eh?) Sorry 'bout it anyway! Oh and I like suspenseful!!
Legolas4me: Well, sorry 'bout the delay for this one. Don't you just hate school? Modesty? Oh well, I don't like bragging! Only to my closest friends! They know that I don't mean it! :p
Lefty: Thanks for waiting forever! Hey, no matter how long I take to update, I will not abandon this story!! Too many plans in my head, ya know! :p
Shauna: Actually, it's not important. Just wanted to freak everyone out. Aheh… but I hope you liked it! I mean, it was just in my head and I was like, "Hey! Why not put it there!" so I'm like, "Okay!" and then I put there… yeah… well, I hope it was good, anyway!
Nicole: Oh, hey! Andrea told me 'bout you! You were spreading my story around Ateneo daw! Dude, that's too much really, my ego has completely gone overboard! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
Andrea: Heya! Gosh, thanks ha! Mayroon pala akong mga fans! Shucks! I can't help but smile so much… too much, my brother thinks I've gone crazy… oh, well… thanks again!!
Okay, I'll shut up now…
~*~
For a while, Aragorn thought of disbelieving his brother, it shocked and frightened him, he could not bring himself to speak, even if he wanted to, for almost the whole night. He somehow lost his voice because of a simple sentence that contained only two words. It was strange. He thought that he wouldn't care if he knew but he thought wrong, he couldn't seem to forget.
The morning came and Aragorn welcomed it gratefully, relieved to be away from the black embrace of the night for the first time yet the guilt for Legolas' pain still burned him painfully. It was an unbearable concept that prevented sleep from comforting him during the night, but then again, sleep may not bring him comforting dreams in this crisis.
The insomnia that took over him last night caused him to wander into the woods, though he knew exactly where he was, he felt like that of a lost child. It was times like these that he wished that he was not born of mortality but of elf-kind and longed for the whispers of the trees, for their comfort, but he knew that even though he had the ability to hear and speak to the makings of nature, there would be no comfort for him, not now.
The ranger wondered if Elrohir and Elladan knew where he had gone and had just refused to disturb his time for privacy or were simply fast asleep. It seemed that time did not pass as he strolled through the ominous atmosphere as nothing moved and no sound played in his human ears, even the fallen leaves of autumn did not crush noisily beneath the soles of his feet and no wind nor breeze blew to caress his black, matted hair. It was indeed a depressing atmosphere chills ran down Aragorn's spine and yet, somehow, it eased his heart for just a tiny bit.
Aragorn glanced back over his shoulder; the campfire's glow was nothing but an orange spot in the black surface, shining through the wooden pillars of the forest, Dol Guldur. He hadn't noticed how long he'd been walking. The loneliness that surrounded him finally gave him safety… safety to grieve. He stopped finally and rested a fist against a tree. He stood there thinking of whatever came to his mind trying to forget the guilt but it remained planted in his head. He slammed his fist against the tree so angrily he felt tiny droplets of blood fall from his aching hand. A warm sensation burned his eyes blurring the dark forest around him. He felt his face contort into a frown, the guilt deepening itself like a knife into his heart. He blinked involuntarily, a silver tear descended his rugged face yet even if it was only one, it overwhelmed with so much fear and guilt, doubt and despair.
Aragorn stood unmoving as if he was frozen, the will to move abandoned. He shut his eyes and sighed inwardly and a fresh wave of flashbacks washed over him. He wasn't sure if he had fallen asleep but it didn't matter to him. The ranger tried to push the images to the back of his mind but in vain. They accused him, pointing out his faults, what he had done to cause his best friend's pain and even what he could've done to prevent it from happening. It seemed to Aragorn that his sanity was being pulled away from him but mercifully the sudden hush of a night breeze stirred him from his nightmare.
He returned to the camp and lay on his bedroll awake until dawn's arrival.
~*~
Time was wasting and Legolas' state did not look promising. A thick sheen of sweat spoiled his ethereal being but gratefully, he breathed just fine but there was something that told Aragorn that Legolas was still trying his best not to let his companions worry. A great annoyance filled the ranger.
This is futile, Legolas. Stop it!
Aragorn thought of yelling at the Prince but held control of himself. The Elf was in enough pain and suddenly Aragorn felt ashamed that he actually thought of doing any of the sort.
"Estel, I don't think he could ride on his own anymore." Elladan whispered to him, his eyes fixed intently upon Legolas.
The ranger nodded, his eyes averted from the twin.
"I know." Aragorn replied. He could feel Elladan's eyes fixate on him. It was strange that Aragorn could not bring himself to look into Elladan's eyes, he feared that they would hold some sort of accusation. Blaming himself was already too much for him. It seemed that Elladan sensed this and sighed.
"None of this is your fault, Estel." He said gently.
"You don't think I know that?" Aragorn asked trying not to snap at the Elf.
"No, I don't think you do." Elladan said firmly, Aragorn said nothing and he continued, "None of us blames you, Elrohir nor I, and I believe neither does Legolas. The only one I see here who's blaming you is yourself! For the first time, Estel, you're being ridiculous."
"But I pushed him, remember?"
"You were simply being yourselves!"
Aragorn fell silent. Maybe Elladan was right yet it seemed it didn't matter to this guilty conscience he held. Memories pointed at him, dreams pointed at him and maybe even the world pointed at him. A heavy weight hung on his back and would get even heavier for every moment he glanced at Legolas' agonizing state. Fear swelled into his heart the moment he had made contact with the Prince's burning skin. How had so much troubles slip into his mind like silk in such a short period of time? The walls in his mind had already begun to close in on him, shutting him out from everything. Why won't any of his brothers' words bring him any solace? Wasn't there any comfort, even a slight touch that he could find to soothe him? Anywhere at all?
Arwen…
Arwen. His Evenstar. Aragorn wrinkled his brow at the sudden arrival of this terribly strong longing to be with her. Her voice was probably the only thing that would ease this throbbing guilt inside of him detaching him from all things existing save her. Where was her tender touch? Where was her divine beauty? Where was her heavenly voice? Where was Arwen? The more reason he had to hurry to Imladris. He can no longer bear this self-accusation.
"Elrohir," Aragorn called to the Elf, "Legolas will ride with you."
Elrohir nodded. He gently mounted the blonde onto his stallion and climbed up after. The Ranger clambered onto his own and rode forward, his brothers behind him.
~*~
Hooves stomped loudly somewhere beneath me and two slender arms supported me from falling as the ground beneath seemed like it was shaking. What was happening? My chest needed air but I couldn't breathe any. I grit my teeth against this pain that won't go away. My throbbing head was probably about to split in two. Every move I made, there was pain. Every breath I tried to take, there was pain. The burning tears were already standing in my clouded eyes. Was this ever going to end? I have lingered in this gray darkness for too long. I can't see anything, can't hear anything. I can't hear the trees anymore… the only comfort I had had left. I couldn't feel Aragorn, Elrohir or Elladan anymore but still I knew they were there.
I tried hard to stop myself from feeling anything, even the beads of sweat that slid down my body but the more I tried, the more I was aware of everything that connected with my skin. Was I falling? Am I… dying? Was this how it felt like to pass away? No, it can't be… not yet… but maybe… maybe I have lived too long. Maybe I have seen too many years, fought too many battles, and done too many things already. I probably needed to go…
I coughed, tasted the salty blood on my lips and braced myself for the wave of pain that was to follow. I gasped and gritted my teeth. I wanted to die! Perhaps death was the only way to end this entire thing. Perhaps in death, there would be no more pain, no more suffering. And when I die, will I… see those who've died themselves? Will I see those whom I have lost? See… my mother?
For so many long years I have longed to see her once again. Though I hardly remember what she was like, her unforgotten beauty was enough to let me know what kind of person she was. I longed for her golden hair that hung so long until her waist and that brushed me softly everytime she bent down to kiss my forehead. I wanted to touch her soft, pale skin that held a kind of smoothness only she could possess. I wanted to hear her loving voice that sang to me many Elvish songs that I could remember only so vaguely. Many years, I've felt this emptiness, this void inside me where she should have been. Many years.
Yes, I'd find her in death and now, I resolved to be with her but at the second before I could let go, I found myself standing before her, nothing but darkness surrounding us. She smiled amorously at me, but I stood staring unbelievably at her, my mouth hanging open. I suddenly realized that I could breathe as freely as before and the pain was no more. I reached out for her, a tear slipping down my face. I looked into her sapphire eyes and her pink cheeks. My fingertips gently grazed the skin there as she drew herself closer to me, her arms open wide. I fell into them and I felt home.
It was so implausible that she was here. I couldn't understand why but I didn't care. She was here with me and that was all that mattered. The years we lost were uncountable that this very moment that she was in my arms and I in hers was the most precious and priceless treasure I could ever find. Was this real? She parted from me and gazed at me.
"Not really but I am truly here." she said to me. I didn't know what to say. I tried to think of at least anything but nothing.
She laughed a effortless laugh so sweet and gentle, I couldn't help but smile widely at her. "You don't have to say anything." she said but then slowly, the merriment around us began to fade. The glee that stood in her face was gone and so was the smile that had played on my lips.
"I can't stay with you long." she whispered sadly. I felt everything inside me twist upside down.
"Why not?" I asked her painfully. Why did she have to go? We had all the time in the world.
"Yes, I know we have all that time but not now, my son, not now."
I kept silent wanting and waiting for her to continue.
"I have only to tell you this, you mustn't let go now. You have to be strong. Don't fall."
"But I don't want to, anymore. I can't bear the pain, any longer!" I pleaded with her.
"I know but this pain will be nothing compared to the grief everyone will suffer if you leave them. Hold on, for me."
I wanted to be with her but she was right, I didn't want to hurt anyone just so I could get something I wanted. I was being selfish. I sighed forlornly and gazed one last time into her eyes.
"No, this isn't the last time we'll be seeing each other." she came forward and kissed me and held me lovingly. "I'm always with you."
I held her once again at the hope that if I held on long enough, she wouldn't have to leave me but even as she was in my arms, I felt her diminish into a thin, white mist that eventually faded away into nothingness.
Then once again I was consumed in pain. It came back so suddenly, as if the whole world dropped heavily on my shoulders that here in my black refuge of darkness, I fell on my knees and the uneven pattern of breathing came back to bother me intensely. "Don't go. Please, don't go." I pleaded to my absent mother like the child who was afraid of the darkness in his own grand chamber of his father's palace, and the gray shadows of my poisoned sight broke through the black veil surrounding me. I was back in reality, but still my mother's words were with me.
Don't fall.
~*~
Okay, peeps. That ending sucked but you know, at least I updated after THREE LONG MONTHS! Hope you loved it! Read and review!! Love ya'll. Again, to the Aragorn fans, don't murder for the Arwen thingamajig, please! Oh, and people, do watch Pirates of the Carribean!! Orlando is BRILLIANT there!! And Johnny Depp, too! Really funny but the part where Orly kisses her, yeah, that sucked…… Okay, that's it for now!!