It was Saturday and that meant everyone's favorite weekend arrived: our monthly trip to Hogsmeade. I was determined to get my hair cut and buy some sweets from Honeydukes that day. Tom and I chatted excitedly as we walked down from Ravenclaw Tower to the entrance of the castle. We were skipping out on breakfast that morning - after all, we had to save room for sweeties! Nothing was going to spoil our day - we had Professor Longbottom chauffeuring us, we were going to meet with Albus and Scorpius, and I was finally going to change my hair. It was going to be a good day.

Albus and Scorpius met us by the entrance to the castle at nine in the morning, and off we were to go visit the village. When we reached the gates, Filch checked off our names and we were free from the castle's grounds. It felt good to be a Fifth Year.

"Hey, can we go to Zonko's? I need more itching powder," said Tom.

"I hope you aren't planning on using that on any of us," said Scorpius.

"Of course not! I'm gonna use it on Merrick Smyth. He's getting a little too cozy with Rose Weasley."

"She's my cousin, y'know. I could just put in a good word for you," said Albus.

I nudged Tom.

"Serious, mate? You'd do that?" Tom asked as he grinned.

"Sure. We don't talk a whole lot since we're in rival Houses, but... I'm sure she'd stop and listen to me for five seconds anyway."

"Thanks, Albus. You're pretty cool."

Albus remained silent as we kept walking. Meanwhile, Scorpius and Tom talked about our Quidditch auditions for the following day. I was nervous about it and didn't want to participate in conversation because I was dreading it. Sure, I wanted to be on the team, but I was never good at sports, let alone trying to sell myself.

Confidence... that's what men have, right? Maybe me lacking confidence made me less of a man. The thought made my mood sink.

"Alright, Atticus?" Albus asked when we were halfway there.

"Yeah," I lied. "You?"

"Alright," he said, and I had the feeling he was lying.

I couldn't imagine what it was like to be Harry Potter's son. It must have been difficult to live up to people's standards of what you should be like. Carrying the Potter name was probably hell for him, and I truly did pity him - don't get me wrong though, he was a nice guy.

We arrived in Hogsmeade just before ten and I immediately went to the hairdressing salon, which was across from Honeydukes. Albus and Scorpius abandoned us for the post office, as they had letters to send out to their families. Tom followed me into the fairly empty salon.

"Welcome!" A young witch with long, wavy, red hair greeted me. "Just a trim today, dear?"

"A regular haircut, please. Trying something new," I said with as much confidence in my voice as possible.

"Follow me," she said as she led me over to a black, rotating chair.

I took a seat and a black cape went over the front of me and tied itself around my neck. I felt a comb going through my hair, and watched in the mirror as she flipped through a catalogue of different men's hairstyles. She grinned as she showed me a buzz cut.

"Would you like something like this, dear?"

"No, thanks. I was thinking short on the sides and long on top."

"Very well. That would suit your face better." She smiled at me and tapped the book with her wand, and the pages immediately flipped to the hairstyle I was thinking of. "This?"

"Perfect," I said with a grin.

"Accio scissors," she said as she waved her wand, and the scissors came flying into her hand, which made me a little bit nervous.

"So what is your name?" she asked as she began to cut my hair.

I mentally said goodbye to my shaggy, wavy hair and focused on her in the mirror.

"Atticus. You?"

"Esmerelda. What are you studying at Hogwarts?" I heard the scissors cut a little too close to my ear for comfort.

"Muggle Studies and Arithmancy."

"You must be quite smart. I took Divination and Care of Magical Creatures and barely passed either of those on my O. . I basically dropped Care of Magical Creatures in my sixth year. What year are you in?"

"Fifth."

"Oh, how exciting! Are you going to stay in Muggle Studies and Arithmancy?"

"Probably. I like numbers, and Muggles are interesting."

"Fascinating folks, they are! When my kids don't behave I make them clean their rooms the Muggle way."

"Oh. How many kids do you have?"

She enchanted a razer and I watched it trim at the top of my hair, and noticed different bits were starting to stick up on their own.

"Six. I know - I don't look a day over twenty! But I'm actually thirty-four. Ssshh!" She giggled.

"Six. Wow! Are they all in school yet?"

"My oldest is. First year. His name is Zachary St. James. Know him?"

"I remember him at the Sorting Ceremony. Hufflepuff."

"Good memory!" she exclaimed as she finished the back of my hair.

We continued to talk about her kids and her life, and what I was going to do after school (I really had no idea). I caught Tom snickering a couple of times as he seemed to be listening in on our conversation. He was probably going to tease me and tell me I sounded like a woman.

Once she was finished, I couldn't believe my own eyes - my jawline looked wider, and I looked way more masculine! I paid and gave her a nice tip before exiting the shop with Tom on my heels. I felt great about myself - nothing could bring me down after my haircut.

"Wow, you look great, mate!" Tom said after we exited the shop. "You look older somehow. Rachel's going to fancy it." He smirked.

"Let's hope so," I said as we crossed the street to go to Honeydukes.

The sound of a bell dinging welcomed us into the small shop, which smelled like chocolate and various types of sweets. Tom immediately went to a display of fizzing whizbees while I went right for the chocolate bars. It wasn't long before I felt a tap on the shoulder.

"Your hair looks good," said Albus, who presented me with a red lollipop. "Here... on me. They're really good."

"Wow. Thanks, Albus. I love these." I took the lollipop from him, which was a cherry lolly made by Honeydukes and shouldn't be confused with a blood pop, and smiled at him. "Let me get you something in return."

"Nah. I get enough sweets." He smiled weakly. "Thanks, though."

"Oi, Atticus!" Tom exclaimed from the front counter. "They have a new flavor or Jelly Slugs! Come try one!"

"Alright, Tom." I turned back to Albus. "Have you tried them?"

"Yeah. Not as rubbish as I thought they'd be."

"Wicked." I smiled at him. "Thanks again for the lolly."

"No problem." He smiled a bit more.

I clapped him on the shoulder before going over to Tom.

"Oi mate, Albus is acting a bit off," I whispered to him.

"Albus? He's always a bit off," Tom whispered back before pushing a display of blue Jelly Slugs towards me.

"I mean, he bought me this lollipop randomly and said my hair looked nice."

"Maybe he has a crush on you?" Tom shrugged.

"I dunno." I shrugged as well and tried a Jelly Slug. "Mmm. Blueberry."

We returned to the castle a couple of hours later, and after dumping off our sweets and miscellaneous items, we went out to the tree by the Black Lake to do our homework since it was such a nice day out. On our way to our favorite tree, Tom spotted Rachel talking to Rose.

"Our future girlfriends conversing!" Tom said excitedly. "Come on, man! Let's go!"

Before I could object, he pulled me off our course and over to a stone bench where the girls were talking.

"Hello, ladies," Tom greeted as he smiled.

Rose rolled her eyes while Rachel smiled at us.

"Hi, Tom. Hi, Atticus. I like your hair."

I blushed.

"Hi, Rachel. Thanks."

"Yeah, your hair looks really good," said Rose. "It frames your face better."

I could tell Tom was getting annoyed over my hair being a hot topic of discussion.

"I was thinking about getting the same haircut!" he said suddenly. "What do you think? Would it frame my face good?"

"Well," Rose corrected. "It would frame your face well."

"Oh, thanks! Maybe I'll get it done tomorrow after we try out for Quidditch." He grinned at Rose.

"You're trying out for Quidditch?" Rachel asked.

"Well, it's Tom's idea," I said quietly.

"Which position are you trying out for?" Rachel asked.

"He's trying out for Beater! I'm going to try out as a Chaser."

"Good luck," said Rose, who looked completely uninterested.

"Yeah, good luck! I'll come watch you try out tomorrow. What time?" Rachel inquired.

"Oh, um -" I was cut off by Tom.

"Noon!" He grinned at her, then nudged me.

"See you then," she said before waving cutely at us.

"Yeah... See you," I said nervously before being pulled away by Tom.

"Man, you are so in with Rachel," he said after we got a few meters away from them. "Think my chances are good with Rose?"

"Sure, man. Just take it each day."

He grinned and clapped me on the back.

The following day, we arrived at the Quidditch pitch to make fools of ourselves at our audition. First they were trying out Chasers, and Tom was third to go. There was a total of fourteen of us trying out.

"Come on, Tom!" Jasper shouted from the stands.

Jasper, Danielle, Albus, Scorpius, Rachel, and a reluctant Rose Weasley were in the stands to cheer us on.

Tom gave Jasper the thumbs up before kicking off on his broom. I watched as they had a mock game with him, and he did a damn good job keeping the Quaffle away from the "opposite" team, and did a great job passing and receiving it. I could see him becoming the new Chaser.

After the eleventh person went, it was time for auditions for Beaters. I was up first, and I felt like vomiting all over the pitch.

"You got this, Atticus!" Jasper shouted.

Right... Just don't make a fool of yourself...

I kicked off on my broom after I was given a bat and watched from above as the Bludgers were unleashed. I panicked and took a swing at one, only to miss and have it turn around and hit the tail of my broom, causing me to spin. I quickly flew away from the Bludger and kept lookout for the other one, which I didn't know was looming behind me until it was too late.

Everything went dark almost immediately, and I didn't wake up until six hours later in the Hospital Wing. Tom, Jasper, Danielle, Scorpius, and Albus were all surrounding my bed. I groaned as soon as I woke up and realized what happened.

"She's never gonna like me," I said quietly.

"Oh rubbish," said Tom. "She will. She was worried about you when you fell off your broom."

"We all were," said Albus.

"Alright, children, back to your common rooms," Madam Pomfrey said as she walked in. "Visiting hours are over. I need to keep him overnight because of head trauma. Scat!"

Jasper rolled his eyes and gave me a pat on the shoulder, then left, followed by Danielle and Scorpius. Albus bid me good night and hurried after his best friend. Tom stuck around, like I figured he would.

"See you in the morning, mate. You'll be fine. Just remember: this doesn't mean you can't try again next year."

"Wait... how did you do?" I asked as I tried to sit up.

"Erm... I made the team." He blushed.

"Wha- ? Congratulations!" I said, and tried to sit up again to shake his hand, but failed.

"Whoa! Relax, chum. It's not a big deal. Maybe I'll tell them to give the position to someone else. We were supposed to be in this together."

"No, mate! You earned it. You were great out there. I'll just be in the stands, cheering you on."

"You sure, mate? I hate doing this without you." He looked a little awkward.

"I'm positive. Go out there and kick arse. I'll be cheering you on." I smiled at him to reassure him.

"If you say so! Say - the captain told me to tell you that you should have waited to try out for Seeker. She said you were everything they would be looking for in a Seeker because you're... y'know... kinda small and stuff."

"Right," I said quietly. "Small..."

"It's not a bad thing, mate. Some guys are supposed to be smaller. We all have our place in the world!"

"Mine is just being small," I said quietly.

"Erm..."

He was cut off by Madam Pomfrey returning.

"For heaven's sakes, Mr. Adams, you must go. Mr. Parker needs his rest! Now shoo!"

"Right. See you tomorrow, At. G'night!" He hurried away from me, seeming to be awkward and flustered from Madam Pomfrey's shoos.

"Thanks, Madam Pomfrey," I said quietly after the Wing was empty.

"It's alright, Atticus. I will have your medicine here for you tomorrow morning, along with your uniform. Get some rest. You'll be better in the morning."

She handed me a cup of chamomile tea that was infused with an unknown potion that left a funny after taste. I thanked her before she left, then settled into the semi-comfortable bed and let out a deep sigh of depression. My thoughts raced as I tried to drift into an uncomfortable sleep.

Small. A complete failure at Quidditch. An embarrassment. Transgender... I hated myself.