.
For better, or for worse; in hope, denying despair; for release from former pressure; in habit, if not in heart. Why the hell do I even bother?
(-)
S
(-) Fused Duality (-)
S
(-)
A Pokemon Fanfic
-v-
By Vile M.F. Slanders
-v-
Chapter I: Starting Anew
...
Getting started was always the most difficult part.
Action; tragedy; romance; intrigue; these were the scenes that appealed to him.
But starting off from scratch, trying to establish the crucial low-key environment; that sense of familiarity and relevance that lured audiences into a false sense of security, right before everything went to fantastical hell?
That was where the wall presented itself.
Colin absolutely detested starting new stories. Intended novels became one-shots in the span a single frustrating hour; months of research and concept development resulting in little more than a half baked plot synopsis; casts of vibrant, diverse, and damn near living characters winding up in "no-go limbo," awaiting the day that they could be adapted for integration into yet another total narrative failure.
Just thinking about how this story was bound to go nowhere gave Colin ample reason to lay down the pen and grieve.
How did they do it?
Those prolific authors, like Stephen King, Isaac Asimov, and Danielle Steel?
How did they pen a multitude of masterpieces so effortlessly?
-How did they even finish their stories?!
"Your muse still on strike?" A jocular voice asked above Colin.
"...I can't do it." Colin mumbled from between the cradle of his hands.
If I could just get past the first scene…
"You need to lighten up. Try writing a short story. Deliberately make it tacky. And don't have any grandiose expectations for it either. Just wing it, and enjoy yourself." The amused voice continued.
"...Is that how you wrote, When Flies Smack Back?" Colin quipped.
"Hey man, don't hit below the belt. I did not know that story was going to blossom into a saucy romance when I started writing it." The voice started becoming sheepish in its enunciation.
"You put Fly-Girl in a spaghetti-strap bikini for her introduction! How did you not know that the story was going to turn pornographic down the non-existent plot road?" Colin cried out in ridicule, finally forsaking the crutch of his grief.
"Originally, she wasn't even a Fly-Girl. That was a revision I made in the earlier chapters after she and Fabian got it on in chapter three." Isaac chuckled, though his face was still hot with shame.
"I couldn't even make it past chapter three! That was the single most disturbing love scene I'd ever read!" Now Colin was turning red and laughing.
"You gotta admit though, it was pretty heartwarming. I wouldn't have been able to look past the antennae and labellum to see the beautiful and lonely woman at Fly-Girl's heart. Mad props for my boy, Fabian." Isaac snickered.
Colin fell back into the cradle of his arms, but breathless laughter accompanied his fall rather than grief this time.
"...Why don't you ever write a serious piece?" Colin guffawed, when he could finally speak again.
"Because my muse ditched me long ago. Ever since then, I've just made an effort to enjoy writing instead of getting all professional about it." Isaac answered without a hint of embarrassment, going as far as to shrug with an unconcerned air.
It was a sobering display for Colin. He knew that he still had his muse, but it was a wretchedly lazy, easily distractible muse. The mere concept of being completely devoid of his artistic drive was a devastating thought for Colin.
But to hear Isaac say it…
"I'm sorry man…" Colin murmured, the pity obvious in his voice. Isaac just shrugged again.
"Meh. It'll come back to me someday. Probably on my deathbed, but that's just life. Either way, I've already accepted that I'm never going to be a professional author. Starving doesn't agree with me, and if I relied on my writing talents to keep me fed…" Isaac stated good naturally.
"Don't say that, dude! Jeez, and here I thought I was a buzzkill!" Colin looked up at Isaac in shock.
"Psh! The truth is a bitter pill, but that doesn't mean I can't handle it. Anyways, there's something to be said about the creative liberty of being a hobby writer as opposed to a professional writer. I'll never have to censor my crap. You, on the other hand-"
"-I don't write monster-girl smut, so I don't have anything to worry about." Colin interjected.
"You need to try it at least once. You might find out that it's your thing." Isaac joshed.
"I'd sooner snort heroin." Colin shuddered.
"You don't know what you're missing. I promise you, despite all that you've heard: ignorance is not bliss-"
"-Are you two discussing that abomination of narrative fiction again?" A nasally female voice piped up.
"It's called When Flies Smack Back. And no, we're discussing the possibility of a sequel. When Flies Smack Back 2: Unplanned Parenthood." Isaac retorted.
"Please tell me that you're joking." Claire groaned as she took a seat next to Colin.
"Of course I'm joking. That story was a piece of crap. Better to courtesy flush the original concept than to squeeze out another colossal deuce." Isaac remarked.
"Gross!" Claire gagged.
"Too far, dude. Way too far." Colin critiqued.
"Hey, I don't censor my shit. I'm a hobbyist, remember?" Isaac grinned.
"And yet you're still single, for some unfathomable reason." Claire snarked.
"Celibacy is a choice, Claire. I'm saving myself for the right woman." Isaac fluffed the collar of his polo, and straightened his poise out in a pompous display.
"...Is that what you tell the mirror?" Claire ribbed.
"You're gonna make me cry in a dark room alone if you keep this up." Isaac snorted.
"Boo-hoo. Big bad Isaac could use a lesson in humility." Claire refused to back down.
"Humility-? Claire, I'm the most humble guy I know!" Isaac struggled to maintain a straight face, but he couldn't pull off the facade.
"Okay, take the lovers quarrel elsewhere, guys. You're really making me feel uncomfortable." Colin lept into the exchange before Claire could get another word in.
"I wouldn't date Claire! Have you even seen the state of her bedroom? She's way too high maintenance for an easy-going guy like me!" Isaac made a shocked expression, and Claire matched it with a revolted face.
"Rephrase. If by easy going, you meant: absolutely piggish, then yes, you are correct. I am way too good for you." Claire retorted.
"...It's so good to be among friends." Colin sighed, kneading his brow.
…
"-But that's the thing I'm getting at! We can only see the universe in three dimensions! It's what we evolved to perceive! Say that we had a sensory organ capable of observing the universe in four dimensions! What would a quantum vacuum fluctuation actually look like-?!" Isaac excitably ranted on about a lecture from his Elective Physics course; while Claire ridiculed him for entertaining fantasies instead of focusing on the point of the lecture.
"-First, who cares? Second, it's a quantum vacuum fluctuation. It would probably just look like an empty space that was heating up. That's definitely something they should make a sitcom about." Claire grumbled.
"But you're forgetting to factor in the Zeno Effect! How would the human perception affect the outcome of a quantum reaction!?" Isaac bantered, while Claire groaned.
"You're such a nerd…" Claire muttered in exasperation.
"There's twelve eyes between the three of us. You're one to talk about nerds, Miss Hydrodynamic Engineer." Isaac snorted.
"You know, for all the shit you two give each other-" Colin began, but Claire shut him up with a look.
"Zip it, Jerry Springer. Stay out of this unless you want to throw down too." Claire growled, while Isaac wolf-whistled in the background.
"Play nice, Claire. I'm the enemy; not Colin." Isaac chuckled.
Despite the humorous intentions of his observation, Isaac still brought Claire to a self-conscious silence with his latest request.
"...Sorry Colin." Claire murmured in an undertone, spreading her discomfort to Colin.
"It's-! I'm not-! You didn't-" Colin tried to dispel the awkwardness, but the clumsy attempt at tactfully phrasing his denial only emulsified the self-conscious ambience.
"...Okay, you two. Just chill. Nobody hurt anybodies' feelings. Except mine." Isaac groaned from the sideline.
"You don't have feelings, so you don't count." Claire snorted, walloping Isaac with her notebook.
"...So are we still on for tonight?" Isaac asked the group, after he'd laughed off Claire's assault.
"I'm gonna kick your ass right off the stage." Claire boasted.
"Definitely. It's always cathartic to see Isaac losing at something for a change." Colin grinned.
"Why do you all hate me?" Isaac snickered, as Claire rolled up her notebook for another wallop.
"Because you're you. Now let's go pick up some batteries at the corner store. My controller is nearly dead." Claire smirked, brandishing her notebook like a club.
"Dibs on Ganondorf's purple scheme!" Isaac proclaimed.
"Mewtwo!" Claire shouted out her predilection.
"I guess that leaves me with Fox McCloud and Samus then…" Colin shrugged with a contented smile.
"Then my second is Sheik." Claire looked at Isaac with a challenge in her eyes.
"My first pick is purple Ganondorf; my second pick is pink Ganondorf." Isaac folded his arms with a cocky smirk.
"Big, ugly, and flamboyant. It's always the same with you…" Claire giggled.
"In-game projecting much?" Colin asked Isaac.
"Y'all haters can hate. But I'm a true Ganon-main." Isaac stoically posed with his overly-serious announcement.
"...Whatever. I just can't wait to see Claire flinging your vibrantly colored ass off the stage." Colin grinned.
…
"Four pounds of Pizza Rolls?"
"-Check."
"Six liters of Mountain Dew?"
"-Check."
"Five gallons of Tin Roof Sundae?"
"-Mint Chip actually. Sorry Claire.
"Yuck."
"That girly raspberry and eucalyptus ice-tea that Claire subsists off of?"
"-Check."
"Fresh batteries?"
"-You were there when we got them, Ganon-boy!"
"...Two boxes of tissues and a pail of burn ointment?"
"-I know you're gonna need'em, Isaac… But we don't have it."
"Mind if I cry into your couch cushions instead?"
"-Be my guest."
"Then we're ready to rumble. Game on."
Friday nights were the best. A quiet place, good company, Super Smash Bros, and the junkiest of junk food imaginable.
The perfect way to spend the first evening of the weekend.
This was almost worth suffering the weekdays for.
Colin sat back and munched on a pizza roll, as the pre-start screen cinema played out on the television. Claire and Isaac were already arguing over who was more canonically depicted; Ness or Kirby; giving Colin even more reason to sigh in contentment.
They were always going at it. Isaac, the witty loudmouth. Claire, the unyielding pragmatist. Yet somehow, all three of them enjoyed the conflict.
It was entertaining to mediate, spectate, and take part in; but the real joy of it all came down to the trivialization.
If only all of life's conflicts could be resolved as comically as this…
...Well…
...At least this was a vast improvement over what life had once been.
"Colin! Pick your character, man!" Isaac's voice snapped Colin out of it.
"Sorry! -Done." Colin nabbed Samus for the first bout, and the game began.
As was anticipated, Claire kicked both Colin and Isaac's asses. But that was just Claire. She may have been the silent type outside of familiar company, but she was a competitive soul at heart.
In chess or in Smash Bros, in Debate Class or in Grade Curves, Claire always showed her finest qualities under pressure. And Isaac-
"-Oh come on! How's a fricken' stick figure like Sheik able to launch a human semi-truck off-screen?!"
-Isaac was just Isaac. The least nerdy and simultaneously most nerdy member of their trio. Laid back and live-in-the-moment might have summed up Isaac's personality upon first introduction, but Isaac was every bit as fiery headed as Claire when the circumstances required it. That, and Isaac knew how to fight; courtesy of being raised by a retired marine.
In a way, Colin envied Isaac. Isaac didn't back down from fights, and his right hook had secured him the respect of the high school football team. Isaac was the anomaly that every high school had; the one nerd that nearly everybody liked.
Be it for his charisma, his intelligence, or his trophy position on the boxing team; just about anyone could find a reason to like Isaac.
Which was funny, because as it turned out: Isaac was even more of an introvert outside of school than Colin was.
"-Goddamnit, Colin! Cool it with the fucking grapples!"
"Your tears are my sustenance!" Colin laughed, as he flung Ganondorf on his back for the third time in five seconds.
...On top of that, Isaac was a terrible arcade fighter; so the scales more or less evened up.
"YES! FINALLY LANDED IT!" Isaac's cheer punctuated the hhhuHAWWRG! Of Ganondorf's high powered wind up, and the half-amused, half frustrated laughter of Claire preceded Sheik's sudden flight to the horizon.
"...Killed by a one trick pony. I hate you, Isaac." Claire grumbled.
"Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of that awesome-!" Isaac began, letting Ganondorf's guttural wind up finish the statement for him.
"-Oh come on!"
Isaac's remote was in the air, as Samus dodged the punch, and grapple-flipped Ganondorf right off the stage border.
"Sorry, Isaac. That was for Claire." Colin chuckled, while Claire snickered from her beanie bag.
Friday nights were good times, all around.
…
"Okay, can we dust off a classic now?" Isaac moaned, as the binge break came to a close.
"Depends. What classic are we talking about?" Claire asked. Isaac raised an eyebrow, and pulled an old N64 cartridge out of his backpack.
"Pokemon Stadium 2." Isaac breathed out the name in reverence. Claire groaned, while Colin whooped.
"That's a stat determined turn-based combat game, isn't it?" Claire moaned.
"They don't make Pokemon any other way." Isaac smiled with a nostalgic pride.
"Except for-"
"Those don't count, Colin! They weren't turned based combat, remember?!" Isaac interjected, prompting another round of snorts from Claire and Colin.
"Whatever. Throw it in. I'll just watch." Claire muttered, flipping open her notebook.
"Come on, Claire. I know you're a genwunner. Expand your horizons, try something new-"
"It isn't exactly new, Isaac. Stadium is gen-two. We're on gen-seven now." Colin corrected.
"Semantics! Listen girl, I know you only watched the anime, but the games are where the shit really happens-"
"Don't forget the TCG!" Colin interrupted.
"-Okay, TCG too, if you're into that- *cough* Colin- *cough*, but the VG is where the real stories came from." Isaac rectified.
"...Boy gets super powered monster; boy uses super powered monster to capture more super powered monsters; boy gets ego-stroked into Superman by shonen derived cast; boy destroys super-evil shonen derived organization; boy becomes the best monster brainwasher that ever was; somehow love is a plot device. Every Pokemon game ever, quantified to its fundamental plot synopsis." Claire impatiently explicated.
"Best… Story… Ever!" Isaac wiped an imaginary tear from his eye, while Colin applauded in the background.
"You dweebs can enjoy your game. I've got homework to do." Claire sighed as she curled up in her bean bag, and pulled a trigonometry textbook from her backpack.
"-Homework?! On a Friday?!" Isaac's jaw dropped.
"Yeah!" Claire clarified, as she cracked open her textbook; while widening her eyes and raising her brow with a mocking smile.
"...Colin, you play first. I've gotta make sure that Claire's not coming down with a sickness or something." Isaac passed the controller to Colin, and forsook the sofa in favor of laying down on the carpet next to Claire.
"...Keep your distance if you know what's good for you." Claire warned Isaac, as a mischievous grin alighted upon the latter's face.
"I would never dream of interrupting your homework assignment… on a Friday night." Isaac teased.
Colin tuned them both out, as he pulled up an old account on the login screen.
It was his and Isaac's account, started way back when Stadium 2 was new. Way back when the two of them had first met…
"-I'll hit you."
"I'm not doing anything!"
Selecting campaign mode, Colin picked Isaac's prized Pinsir from the roster, and returned to the Kanto region-
"...If that finger gets any closer-"
"What? There's a spot on the carpet I'm trying to get out. Colin, you really should vacuum this place more often-"
"I'm gonna hit you-"
Looking through the list of Gym Leaders, Colin picked Erika as his opponent, and prepared to square off against his pre pubescent crush-
"-Ow!"
"I told you, don't try to touch me!"
"Guys calm it down, wouldja?" Colin hissed over the smattering of nervous giggles rising from behind him.
"Erika, Colin? Sheesh. Janine is way cuter." Isaac turned his teasing attention onto Colin.
"And my waifu could beat both of your waifus up. Are you two really gonna 4-chan in Colin's living room?" An exasperated Claire decided to target them both.
"Claire, if you don't play into it, Isaac can't play it up." Colin didn't take his eyes off the screen, focused as he was on a Bellossom's elimination.
"Hey, keep those trade secrets to yourself!" Isaac retorted.
"It's okay. If I didn't play the game, I'd never score."
"Whoa, Claire! Slow down! That's getting dangerously close to sounding like innuendo!" Isaac interrupted.
"...Maybe it was intentional?" Claire stated in a coy voice.
"Jesus Christ… What was in that ice-tea, and where can I get me some?" Isaac nervously chortled in the background.
"...But seriously, something must've been off about those Pizza Rolls. I'm not feeling too good." Isaac stated in an undertone.
"...Yeah, me neither." Claire shifted uncomfortably on her squeaky bean bag.
"Dizzy?"
"Yep. Really dizzy…"
"Hey Colin? You feeling okay, man?"
"..."
"Colin?"
"..."
"...You awake, bro?"
"..."
"...I think I'm gonna puke-!"
"Claire-! Are you-?!"
"..."
"...Oh hell no…"
"..."
"Come on guys! Wake up! This ain't funny!"
"..."
"...Claire-? Colin…?"
"..."
"...Whatthefuckis-"
"..."
"..."