I'M NOT DEAD, Y'ALL!

SO sorry about how long it took me to update (half a year!). I could tell you why, but you're probably sick of excuses, so I'll summarize. Real life happened (is still happening, and will probably continue to happen) and kept me really busy, leaving me with little time to write and low motivation when I did. Homestead will still update slowly, but I'll try to keep the wait less than five months. I promise, however long this takes, as long as I haven't marked the story complete, it isn't dead.

As promised, here's the reason Mal doesn't like cartoons: he can barely see them. If you were to pause on a frame, he might register a human face given time, but the way cartoon characters move isn't consistent with the way things move in reality. Due to how Mal registers information, he just isn't able to process what he's seeing as it plays in real time. It confuses and disorients him.

This chapter isn't as long as I would like, but at least it's something.

Mal was too excited to get much rest. He sat idly in his chair- in his own room!- but there was too much on his mind to be able to power down. This new place had horses, and TV, and a barbecue, and all sorts of people he could never picture but knew had to exist. It was a lot to take in in one day, and Mal was literally buzzing with nervous excitement.

It was because of this that Engineer woke up at nearly six in the morning to Mal digging through the fridge.

"...Mal, what're you doin' up so early?" Engineer slurred, still not entirely awake.

Mal was oblivious to his friend's dismay. "I was lookin' for eggs, but dere's not any. So, I'll make toast?"

Engineer was too tired to note the clarity of the robot's reply. "Mal, it's barely six. That's two more past the four," he added at the Scoutbot's confused silence. "It's far too early to be doin' this. It's still dark outside."

Mal took a moment to look out the window above the kitchen sink, blinked a few times, and looked back at Engineer. "Dere's a little light."

The Texan glanced outside himself, and despite the sprinkle of clouds, sure enough, the sun was just rising, turning only the horizon a light purple-blue. Defeated, he sighed through his nose, knowing he wouldn't be getting back to sleep. "I s'pose it is March... Toast is fine, but try to keep it down. Melissa's still sleepin'."

After directing Mal to the bread and leaving him to find the toaster on his own, Engineer got himself a knife and a jar of homemade jam. Knowing that his toaster was made of stronger stuff than the one at Coal Town, he waited and watched with the Scoutbot, not quite trusting him not to burn the toast.

"...Hardhat," Mal said after the first cycle.

Engineer glanced at him. "Yeah?"

The robot looked at him for a moment, then shook his head, eyes alight. "Nothin'. Just wanna say Hardhat." Engineer couldn't help but smirk at that.

Soon, the toast was ready, so the two talked quietly at the table as Engineer ate. It really was amazing how far Mal's speech had come, even if half of his words sounded arrogant and rude, no thanks to Scout's personality. After the toast was eaten and Engineer's teeth were brushed, he and Mal watched morning television until Melissa woke up about an hour later. Even though it was only a little past seven, the sky was bright as if it were almost noon.

"What're you doin' awake already?" Melissa yawned, getting started on her coffee. "You usually ain't up 'til nine."

"I heard Mal makin' noise in the fridge," Jeff replied, turning the TV off. "He wanted to make us breakfast, but I don't think he's quite used to normal hours yet." Melissa's face pinched at the thought of the foreign robot digging through her kitchen while she slept, but chose not to comment, instead returning to her coffee and making her own breakfast.

"Jeff," Mal said, getting the Texan's attention. "Said you'd show me one two three today."

"I did say that, didn't I," Jeff answered. "Well, I'm gonna have to go into town and buy some books, so you sit tight and wait here with Melissa 'til I'm back, alright?" Mal nodded sluggishly, and Jeff went to look for his truck keys.

"I'm pickin' up some books, sweetie, I'll be back in about twenty minutes," he called into the kitchen, and Melissa looked up from pouring herself bran flakes.

"Honey, what about the-" she started, but Jeff was already out the door and out of earshot. With a resigned sigh, she sat down and took a bite of her bland cereal. Mal decided to busy himself by watching the clock, determined to get a head start even if he couldn't so much as give a name to most of the symbols.

As soon as she was done with her cereal, Melissa got up to finish the rest of her morning routine. That done, she turned on the small radio by the back door, then headed outside to tend to her garden, all without a word.

For a while, Mal was content listening to the music, some sort of classical tune. Pretty soon, though, he got bored of sitting on the floor and decided to see what Melissa was doing. He stood at the door and gazed at the rows and rows of leafy, flowery, and starchy plants, and when he didn't immediately see the O'Connor, he turned the handle and pushed, pleased to see that there were such things as doors he could open himself. Once outside, he found Melissa off to the right, on her knees watering the plants in front of her with a small can.

Now that he knew that she was just dumping out perfectly good water, which wasn't all that interesting, Mal knelt down to look at the plants at his feet. He'd never seen anything like them before; the rounded leaves at the tip were yellow, with purple at the edges and where they met the stem at the middle. Making an "ooh" sound, he gingerly reached forward to touch one.

"Leave the pansies alone!" Melissa suddenly snapped, startling Mal into a standing position. The woman glared at him a moment longer before moving down the row to water the rest of the garden. Once Mal was sure that he wouldn't be scolded for standing too close to the plants- pansies, he now knew- he knelt down to get another look, this time without touching. He didn't know what the pansies were for, but they were quite pretty. Melissa also appeared to be growing white ones and red ones, but Mal decided that the yellow ones were his favorite.

The robot stood once more to explore the rest of the garden, aware that Melissa was watching him like a hawk. Most of the rows were dedicated to plants that seemed to exist just to be colorful; he would later learn that these were called flowers. They came in colors ranging from orange to blue to soft pink, and came in all different sizes. One yellow flower at the end was nearly as tall as he was. At Melissa's end were leafier plants, some of which bore fruits or berries. Out of all of them, Mal only recognized the tomatoes.

So plants could grow food? Mal wondered if he could get an egg plant anywhere. That way they would never run out of eggs.

It felt like no time at all had passed when Mal heard the screen door open and close behind him, as well as the chuckle that followed. "Shoulda known I'd find y'all back here. Mal, we can start whenever you're ready."

With an eager laugh, the robot made his way over, just mindful enough not to stomp on the flowers in his excitement. Melissa glanced at the pair with a tight smile as they made their way inside, opting to stay outside herself. In the living room, Jeff showed Mal two books, both of them comically small and colorful, and ultimately out of place in the hands of the man with eleven Ph.D.s.

"Let's start with numbers," he said, raising one book slightly over the other. "From what I've seen, you'll probably learn this quickest." And he was right; despite several pronunciation issues, within only a handful of minutes Mal was able to count to twenty.

Learning the alphabet, however, proved to be a struggle. It didn't take long for Mal to recognize each letter in order and pronounce them with some degree of accuracy, but the introduction of lowercase letters quickly complicated things. After telling Mal that making a letter smaller didn't make it quieter, Jeff had to explain rules involving proper nouns and sentence structure, being forced to introduce more and more terms and rules until the concept of lettercase became too convoluted for Mal to be able to keep up. Once the twitching and rapid blinking signalling an impending short circuit began, Jeff knew it was time to stop.

"Well, at least we made some progress today," Jeff said, scratching his cheek. "Think you can read the clock now?"

Mal glanced at the clock, quickly replying with, "Nine two."

"It's actually nine ten," Jeff corrected him, "but clock-readin' has its own rules. Still, that's a start." Mal nodded, pleased.

Jeff reached up high and stretched, cracking his back in the process; they had been sitting on the floor for over an hour. Deciding that there was more than enough daylight to burn, the Texan stood up and said, "I've got some projects I'd like to work on, so I'll be in the shed most of the day. If ya need anythin', talk to Melissa or come find me."

Before he could take a step, Mal abruptly stood. "I wanna go too. Can I?"

Jeff smiled. "I s'pose an extra pair of hands wouldn't hurt."

Mal let out a squeal of glee, and the two went out the front door, the robot with a skip in his step.

Well, after a six-month hiatus(?) I would have liked a 30k chapter, but at least I managed to post something, eh?

Disclaimer: I am not a gardener in any sense of the word. I have no idea what kinds of plants could realistically be grown in Texas in March, and after this much time I really don't care. I just know Mal likes flowers.

Here's hoping that next time I don't take half a century. :')