Chapter 1: Going Back

Nessie's POV

I remember everything as clearly as if it had happened yesterday, when, in reality it happened 75 years ago. That was the last time I ever saw my family. That was the first time I ever died. I'd died over and over again many times throughout the years. Several times I truly did die as in my heart stopped beating for a significant length of time. Then there were the times that I had to fake my death because people were beginning to suspect that I was not normal.

I wasn't normal. I was a vampire-human hybrid. My mom, Isabella Cullen, was human when she had me. Whereas my father, Edward Cullen, was a vampire when I was conceived. That made me half human and half vampire. I suspect the human half was is the reason that I can still physically die but the vampire half is what resurrects me each and every time. It's just a theory I have so I really can't be sure that that is what it is.

The first time I died is the day the Volturi came to confront my family. Things didn't exactly go as planned and Aro still viewed me as a threat to the vampire world. It didn't matter how much my family pleaded with the Volturi to let me live, that I was not a threat, he still wanted me dead. Jacob and I tried to escape together the way my mother had planned but that didn't work either. One of the vampires caught up to us and attacked Jacob. I was killed in the process when the vampire snapped my neck.

I didn't wake up until sometime the next day. My family had already buried me. There was a gravestone and everything. I was going to go back home and let everyone know that I was okay. That I wasn't dead. Then a thought came across mind. If it weren't for me they would never have been in danger in the first place. If it weren't for me then the Volturi would have never gone after them. If it weren't for me then their lives would have never been in danger in the first place. I came to the conclusion that it was better if they thought that I was dead. If I took myself out of the picture then they would never be in danger ever again. So once I made sure the burial sight didn't look like someone had dug it up anymore I left and I never looked back.

That is until now anyway. After 75 years I've been to just about every other place in the united states imaginable. Except for areas that hardly had no sun. I've preferred to live in places that get sunshine almost year round just to avoid the possibility of running into any vampires. Now that I've exhausted all those possibilities I have no choice but to go to areas with more rain and clouds.

I examined myself fully in the mirror. I hadn't aged a day since I turned seven years old. At which time I had the physical appearance of a 20 year old. The only bad thing? I have to start high school all over again for the hundredth millionth time. I couldn't even begin to count the amount of times that I have been to high school and sometimes I even asked myself why I even bothered. The answer is always the same. The younger I pretend to be the longer I can stay in one place. It just feels pointless sometimes when I already have several college degrees. I've majored in every subject imaginable in college. I've studied Arts, English, Sciences, History, Math, Languages, Religion, Sociology, Law, and even medicine. My top favorites being law and medicine. I love practicing law and medicine whenever I get the chance.

I pretend to have a normal life but that's all that it is. Pretend. Nothing more and nothing less. I can never be normal. I can never get married or have kids. Something that I've longed for a very long time now. Someone to love and love me in return. The only thing I can ever have is friends but they don't and can't ever know who and what I truly am. For both their safety and my own I can't ever tell anyone my secret. Hell they don't even know my real name. I've assumed so many fake identities over the years that I can't even remember all the names I've used anymore. Every time I die I claim to be a new heir and I re-inherit all of my money and properties from myself. Over the years I've amassed a pretty decent fortune from working, investing, and buying and selling properties.

Even with everything though I'm still not happy for what I truly long for is love. Something which I know I'm not destined to have. How can I have it? How could I ever be in a relationship let alone have kids and get married? Being what I am? An immortal girl who keeps dying over and over again?

I'm immortal but sometimes I feel dead inside. I've died many many times by car accidents, fires, drowning, gunshot, and even illness. Yet sometimes I feel more dead when I'm alive then when I actually am dead.

Once I finished unpacking all of my things I ordered myself a pizza because I didn't feel like cooking or going anywhere. I started watching TV when I when the pizza arrived. As I was eating I heard a strange noise outside. I could hear howling and what sounded like an animal scratching at the back door. I grabbed my gun; prepared to shoot the animal if I had to.

What I saw when I opened my door caused me to drop the weapon in shock. Several feet away from me I saw a wolf I had not seen in 75 years. He was more wild looking than I remember. His fur and nails were much longer than I remember them being. He was just as dirty and ungroomed as any other wild animal out there. He was thinner than I remember as well. I got the sense that he spent every moment of the last 75 years as a wolf. However there was no mistaking his dark brown eyes or his reddish brown fur or his height.

"Jacob?"

He walked closer to me and started sniffing every inch of my body that he could. Then without warning he accidentally knocked me over and started licking me to death. His whole body was shaking and tail wagging from excitement. His tears started splattering all over my face and the rest of my body. For me? That was the happiest I had felt in an extremely long time.

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