Title: The Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy!

Rating: R

Warnings: Cursing, yaoi, insertion of reviewers, general stupidity.

Summary: It's the Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy, with appearances by Gaia the Salesman, Panny Springer, and other fun characters!

Disclaimer: Dammit…I haveta do it again?

Burakku: My turn! Melissa don't own it. She only wishes she does.

Very good.

~~~~***~~~~

Well, everything was back to normal.

"Oh shit!" Bondage Boy ducked as a vase flew past his head. "I didn't mean it! HONEST!!"

He fell to the floor as he was pounced on. "Then SHOW me you didn't mean it." Self-Appreciation Boy was making up for lost time, apparently.

Bondage Boy grinned and pulled his partner into a teasing kiss. When the other man wanted more, he pulled away.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting up."

"Why?!"

Bondage Boy smirked as he stood, leaving his partner dazed. He began to walk away, swaying his hips a bit. "Because the floor is hard."

"Dammit!" Self-Appreciation Boy pointed to his crotch. "This REALLY HURTS!"

"Then live up to your name, Masturbation Boy. Or do you need help?"

He grinned and walked over to the violet haired man, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I need help…help me…"

Bondage Boy inhaled sharply as the elf pressed their crotches together. "All right…"

Just then…the TV flickered on.

"Hello Self-Appreciation Boy…uh…boy!" The slightly fruity American voice of Pegasus J. Crawford said. "I see you're enjoying the time off?"

"Dammit, Pegsy, you always burst in just when we're goin' to do something!"

"I have a job for you. Job equals money."

"Well, sex can equal money too, you know." Bondage Boy said.

"And it's not like we wouldn't have customers!" Self-Appreciation Boy added.

"…I'll turn you into toons."

"I think having chibis of ourselves that were indestructible would be fun." Self-Appreciation Boy snarked.

"I'll release Relinquished."

"Eep!" Bondage Boy squeaked. "Not that thing! We'll do it!"

"Dark! You said we were gonna talk about all of our decisions! I can't believe-"

Bondage Boy silenced Self-Appreciation Boy with a kiss.

"…okay!" Self-Appreciation Boy grinned, leaning into Bondage Boy. "I guess we'll do it…but can we have a few hours off?"

"Wonderful! Your assignment is--:"

"WE"RE OVER, CHAOS!!" Gaia yelled as he stormed through the room.

"But why?! What'd I do?!" I-Make-Up-For-My-Inadequaces-By-Being-A-Fucktard Guy whimpered.

"I saw you with that girl!"

"She was nothing!"

"SHUT UP! I'm going with Luster for a while…YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID!" And he stormed off.

Pegasus sighed. "Would both of you shut up! I have a very important assignment for…oh dammit, where'd they GO?!"

Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy were currently in their bedroom, picking up where they left off.

…should I have you change the channel? Let's see what Melissa can come up with first. No code-names here…too damn long to type out.

The two men snuggled close together, preparing for an intense love making session.

But then! A giant…yellow….lemon…attacked?

…oh that's pathetic. Get Melissa over here!

What? I said I would have a lemon in the next chapter, and I did!

Hmm…you did say that…okay. But the readers are gonna lynch you.

Cool!

And thus, the big yellow lemon started squirting its citrus-y juices at our two heroes, who were thoroughly pissed off because they weren't able to screw.

"Dammit…go away, you stupid lemon! I wanna be with my boyfriend!"

"Lemoooooooon…lemonlemonlemonlemon!!!"

"Hehehe!" A little runt boy with cat eyes and red hair cackled as he floated upside down.

Self- Appreciation Boy sighed. "Wrong anime, Taruto."

"Eh? Oh..oops…sorry…bai bai!" Taruto disappeared, and so did the lemon.

"Finally! Dark-chan…"

"Celtic-kun?"

…

"BOTH OF YOU!! GET DOWN HERE NOW!"

"Aww…dammit…Pegasus…man…"

"Later, love…I suppose." Bondage Boy kissed his partner on the nose.

They went down the stairs, Self-Appreciation Boy desperately rubbing his face against Bondage's Boy shoulder for some sort of release. Bondage Boy smiled and rubbed his cat-like lover's ears, delighting it the squeal it brought.

They sat down on the couch.

"What is it now, Pegasus?"

"You need a cover. And I have the perfect idea!"

"Oh really." Bondage Boy asked, cocking an eyebrow. "And that would be…?"

Pegasus smiled and clasped his hands together. "A combination flower shop/café!"

"…flowers?" Bondage Boy asked.

"A café?! …does that mean we get to make confectionery delights?" Self-Appreciation Boy asked.

"Uhh…no." Pegasus said.

"Awww…can we still get whipped cream? Why can't we have a strip club? That'd be unexpected!" Self-Appreciation Boy exclaimed. "And we'd make money!"

"Celtic…you scare me sometimes…"

"Was the whole role play thing last night too much for you? I thought you looked cute as Jounouchi!"

Bondage Boy flushed. "Shut up, I don't want them to know!"

"But it was so fun being Seto and getting you to be Jounouchi! The collar was so cute! Tonight, we can be Yuugi and Yami! YAY!"

Bondage Boy sighed. "No strip club…when will our shop open?"

"…In three minutes, and girls have seen you…"

Both of their eyes widened. "Oh…my…"

The ground began to shake. Water spilt…

Bondage Boy and Self-Appreciation Boy looked at each other. "FANGIRLS!"

The door to the shop burst open.

What seemed like millions of fangirls swarmed the shop. A few fanboys stood out, but the girls swallowed them up.

Bondage Boy and Self-Appreciation Boy walked out, in their uniforms.

Self-Appreciation Boy's outfit was a dark green apron with a light green shirt and black jeans. His hair was tucked behind his ears.

Bondage Boy had a similar out fit, but his apron was navy blue. He wore a lavender dress shirt, and black slacks. His hair was half pulled back, and what wasn't pulled back pooled around his shoulders.

Two girls pushed their way up to the front.

"Hi!" The first one said. "I'm Hicky!"

"And I'm Rae!"

They both grinned. "And we want you to FUCK! …now!"

Both men blinked. And flushed. "Well…ah…"

"Do it! We're ready!"

And they were. They had video cameras, photo cameras and various other recording devices.

"Erm…look over there! It's…ahh…YAMI AND YUUGI SIM PORN!!"

"PORN!"

Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy snuck out and ran into a moping I-Make-Up-For-My-Inadequacies-By-Being-A-Fucktard Guy, who was also in a uniform of a mauve apron, sheer black shirt and black slacks.

"Chaos! Fangirls! Trying…to kill us!" Self-Appreciation Boy panted. "Must..hide..take over…"

He sniffled. "I'm so sorry Gaia…I really didn't mean it…"

"Celtic, give up, he's still moping…he's no help! RUN!!"

The fangirls had flooded the house now…

What will our heroes do?

"We'll give 'em what they want!" Self-Appreciation Boy said, stripping down.

Bondage Boy grinned and kissed his partner, while stripping himself.

As the fangirls surrounded them…they began their 'show'.

~~~~***~~~~

After the fangirls had dispersed, having gotten a huge amount of hot boy on boy action, our two heroes snuggled up in their bed.

"Maa…nothing tonight…too tired…" Self-Appreciation Boy yawned, nuzzling in to Bondage Boy's chest.

"Of course, my precious elf." Bondage Boy murmured, stroking Self-Appreciation Boy's yellow-green. "Tomorrow is another day…"

"Eh…sleep..so tired…"

"Good night, Celtic."

"Good night, Dark. I love you."

"Love you too."

…

"Dark?"

"Yes?"

"Pegasus never gave us our job."

"Oh well."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Aww…it's sap! YAY!

Also, big sankyuus to all my reviewers! I write faster because of you!

Hicky, Rae, hope you two liked your cameos. ^_^()

Now, who else would like to be in a flower shop scene?

Hehe…did everyone like the lemon?

I have no real ideas for the next chapter. So it may be a while before I update. But next chapter, another episode of Panny Springer! And another insane cover tactic, in addition to the café and flower shop! And Self-Appreciation Boy plays the flute?! ALL THIS AND MORE IN CHAPTER 5… "It Can't Get Any Worse Than This!"