Chapter Ten: The Future In The End
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(Lauren's POV)
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Day 34
Taking a deep breath I watch the world passing by beneath me, I want to feel jealous—I want to feel envious of these people who have no clue what is going on around them. I want to wish I was them but all I feel is a numbness and a strange sense of pity for them.
Though, honestly how many people really want to know the truth?
I turn around at the sound of a groan, leaning against the ledge of the balcony I just stare at her-maybe it's through her.
I know I should feel hope, that I should be rushing around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying everything to fix this—to do something more but all I find myself doing is waiting.
I'm waiting for this big, scary bad guy to come in and discover his little pet has been captured but nothing.
Another groan accompanied by the ire sound of chains rubbing together pulls me from my self pitying cloud.
Sighing to myself I slowly walk back into the apartment toward her, eyes going up to the thick, beam of wood where I have the chain hanging over. Still looks good, though I don't know if it will hold for very long, honestly I don't know if those chains will hold for long.
She is such a mystery, her biology, her mental capacity, her true power.
Eyes slowly drift down the chains until they reach her lightly blood stained fingers gripping the metal. I want to wipe it away but I'm not stupid enough to attempt getting that close to her for that long. So instead of doing my initial thought I just let my eyes follow the long stream of dried blood across the side of her hand, over her wrist and then down the length of her arm.
I wasn't so much a fan of having her hanging here like an animal but then again what choice did we have. I couldn't bring her to the compound and cage her for any number of reasons. I couldn't bring back home. So in a rare moment of coherence in the beginning she suggested this and considering my hands seem to be tied—figuratively, I went with it.
I know I'm being a coward by not telling anyone about these new developments with her—but in a way, in the coldest way I'm thinking of my own self-preservation.
Even if she is...fixed, they are going to be pissed but if I clued them in and this turns out to be another failed attempt they will eat me alive-an old, remaining part of me still feels pain at the thought of that.
Clearing my throat my eyes shift to her icy ones, a chill shooting down my spine. I'm use to the violence, the struggle but this-this stillness while she is awake frightens me on an unknown level.
Ludicrously I take a step forward narrowing our already dangerously close proximity, my own eyes locked with her's that seem-dead in away.
I can't help but wonder if somewhere inside of her there is this battle going on. This battle between the her I know and this new her. I can't help but wonder if there really is a difference or if this is just a tiny, sentimental piece of me left somewhere in the depths of my darkness.
Day 37
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I just look down at her, staring into her eyes—a wave of pain swirling within that I didn't think I would be capable of feeling anymore. The stinging on the right side of my face pale in comparison.
"How could you?" she asks me, voice breaking as tears fill her eyes.
I don't have an answer for her.
"I was trying to protect you." I whisper, a hint of shame beginning to rise beneath my chest.
"Protect me?" she snorts and looks away from me. "You were trying to protect yourself."
"Kenzi." her name leaves my lips before my mind had decided to call her back but it's too late, she is already out of the door and down the hall.
I could go after her but for what?
No matter what I say it will not change what's happen so instead I close the door and walk back into the darkness of the apartment, toward Bo who still hasn't awaken during all of the commotion.
It's been a day nearly to the hour now that she has just hung there, head hanging down motionless as sweat pours down her body.
Was what we-what I am doing actually a detox of sorts or just a slow, torturous way of killing her?
I don't honestly know anymore.
Day 42
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"You look like shit,"
My head snaps toward the door, blurry vision coming into focus. I see it's Evony but my mind doesn't quite register my situation. For a moment I want to smile, call her babe and pretend this is a life I was accepting-after all I was just dreaming about it but there is this little voice that reminds me that this isn't that life anymore.
Blinking a couple of times look around to find an unconscious Bo, hanging limply ten feet in front of me, the morning's light illuminating the room. I shift and the sound of the legs of my chair against the floor causing a squeak.
I look back over to her, exhaling heavily but to my surprise she hands me a cup of coffee and looks over at Bo.
"She looks pretty pathetic."
"Evony." I say flatly in between sips of my coffee, it had been days since I drank the last of Bo's supply.
"Relax, I've come to extend n olive branch."
"If you can't tell, I've gladly accepted." I raise an eyebrow looking up at her with a tiny hint of a smirk as I raise my already half empty cup toward her.
"Getting a little easy in your old age doctor," she chuckles and for a moment its not awkward and painful—for a moment. She turns and looks down at me, a moment of silence circling us and for a moment I see this vulnerability in her that I rarely got to see but I remember vividly.
And just as quickly as it came—it's gone.
"Thank you," I whisper heavily and look back at Bo.
"You're welcome, but that wasn't the olive branch." she pauses until I look back up at her. "I want you to come back home, bring Bo to the compound."
"Evony-"
"You've been here, away from the world Lauren you have no idea what's happening out there." she almost looks saddened for a moment before she looks at Bo obscuring my view of her face. "This guy, Riddick of whatever the hell his name is has figured out Bo isn't his puppet anymore."
"What?"
"Relax kitten, Kenzi has had your back." she looks back down at me. "We all have, shes pulled in every favor possible as I've pulled every resource to keep Bo hidden. But we're losing."
"We're?" I can't help the skepticism in my voice.
"We're as in Fae." she turns half way and places her cup down on the island behind me. "The Light have lost nearly one third of it's population withing the city."
"What?" I ask in disbelief as I stand.
"The damage is so bad they are asking me for asylum, what they don't know is I've lost nearly the same amount trying to-"
"Protect us,"
"Don't flatter yourself so much." she says coldly. "I think being alive Lauren, I like being in charge, I like my cushy life style. This fucker wants to run things, to kill everyone and everything-I'm not okay with that since he's disturbing my way of life."
"Then why not leave here."
"I don't run." she says flatly, harshly. "Bring her back to the compound, get a good nights rest and maybe you will come up with an idea to make succu-slut useful because I don't know how much longer we're going to be able to hide her."
I swallow back the feeling of tears as I watch her walk toward the door. I don't even know why there is tears but there is. Maybe because I'm not alone. Maybe because I can return home. Maybe because of all the lives lost while I've been sitting here wallowing in my own pity.
"Oh Lauren," she says looking over her shoulder at me and there is that sense of sadness from before. "Tamsin was killed the other night, the funeral is this afternoon. Perhaps after you get Bo secured enough you should make an appearance."
Day 50
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"Everything looks good." I say flipping through the pages in my folder as I turn around to face her.
"Biologically." she says heavily, her features twisted in pain as they had been the past three days she has been awake and coherent.
"Yes Bo, biologically everything looks good and normal."
"I thought you said there were changes?"
"There are changes but from what I can tell they are just evolutionary changes within you. Changes that are there to stay and most likely won't effect you in the sense that we are worried about."
"Most likely?"
"Bo, we don't have the luxury of unlimited time for me to poke and prod you as much fun as that may be for me." I huff out tossing the file onto the exam table next to her.
"I don't know if I can do this." she whispers after a solid minute of silence but I cant bring myself to look her in the eyes.
"You can and you will because it's who you are."
"I don't know who I am."
"I do." this time I look up into her eyes and there is a part of me that screams liar, there is a part of her that screams the same thing but she doesn't say anything. "I know who you are Bo." this time my words actually sound like a believe them and I see a sort of comfort creep into her. She only ever needed to know I believed something to believe it too-apparently that hasn't changed.
"You know it's kind of fitting." she smirks the best she can. "The first time I found out what I was , was in a place like this and now-"
"Yeah." I force a smile, a twinge of pain settling in my heart at the memory. That was such a hopeful time, such a warm and hopeful memory and this was—I'm not sure what this moment is but it wasn't hopeful.
"So," she pushes herself off the table, hands holding onto the ledge for balance, her legs still not a hundred percent. She had lost so much strength within these past few days, the best was to get her back to fighting shape was to feed but it was a risk we couldn't afford, so we were left with time. "These shots?" she reaches over to her left picking up this eight inch by eight inch black box.
"They're the best I could come up with Bo." I snap slightly defensively.
"I wasn't-Lauren," she whispers taking a step toward me, I know I should back away but I don't. "I appreciate everything you've done for me and there is not amount of time or things I could do to every say how sorry I-"
"Bo," I give a little head shake and let my tear filling eyes drop to my hand as I rest it on her arm. "Don't." I shake my head again as I lean in and let my lips graze hers. It's only for a moment, but as comforting as it is—it's just as painful. My eyes slowly open as my hand moves up to cup her cheek, tears dampening my skin. "Not now." another whisper as pain rips through my chest like a hot poker.
"Yeah," she forces this heart-wrenching smile and nods against my embrace.
It's only seconds but it feels like eternity as we stand here near statuesque staring into each others eyes silently saying everything that needs to be said but a true eternity would never be enough time for us say aloud all that needs to be spoken, instead we'll settle for this.
We never were ones for words.
Gently I pull my hand away and we drift apart like leaves floating atop a stream.
With a sniffle I nod toward the door and through one more longing look she nods knowing what has to be done, a further reaffirmation that she is in fact my Bo again.
I wait till she is a few steps ahead of me before beginning to follow her out.
I was right, this moment was anything but warm and comforting. This wasn't a moment that I'd want to remember ten years from now—if I was still alive then. This wasn't really anything but another classic moment in the 'Journey of Bo and Lauren' as she had like to call it. A painful, longing moment full of unspoken and hidden meanings while we put everything above ourselves.
Just one more affirmation that she is my Bo again, that.
So with that thought, I can admit I was wrong...
…..this is a moment of hope.