Time After Time

Chapter 3

AN: This is the sad chapter. It is made of grief and angst. You have been warned.

TW: Death of a child mentioned

She knew when he stumbled onto the Waverider, tears in his eyes, that something terrible had happened. Given the circumstances, and the fact that Miranda and Jonas were not with him, there was only one thing it could be.

"Captain, please report to the medbay, you are in shock," said Gideon. She was monitoring some very disturbing readings from him. He'd also sustained at least one laceration to his shoulder and it was bleeding. She closed the hatch, ensuring that they were cloaked and wouldn't be found.

"They're dead, Gideon. Vandal Savage killed them," he said. Then he unceremoniously folded up, his knees hitting the floor of the cargo bay. He put his head in his hands, and sobbed.

Gideon didn't know what to do, so she monitored his lifesigns, and waited. He had curled up in a corner against a crate, his knees pulled in to his body. He barely moved, although the tears did cease eventually. At last, he stretched out his legs, looking up at the ceiling.

"I'm an idiot," he said, suddenly straightening up. "I have a timeship. Gideon, plot a new course, bring us in a day before this. I'm going to save Miranda and Jonas."

"Captain, you realise that could be damaging to the timeline," said Gideon.

"I don't care, Gideon, just do as I ask!" shouted Rip. He pushed himself to his feet and stumbled towards the bridge, wiping a hand across his eyes.

Gideon let him try to save them eight times before she declared a halt. It had been three weeks of intensive calculations, fierce action, fighting with Vandal Savages troops, several sessions in medbay to heal injuries, and her Captain having to watch his loved ones die over and over again. He barely slept and hardly ate. His skin was pale, his hair wild, and his temper was short. Quite simply it was killing him by inches and she would not have it.

The argument over her refusal to help him kill himself was spectacular.

"Open the door, Gideon!" he shouted at her, standing in the cargo bay by the exit hatch. Gideon had locked it and was resolutely not opening it. He kicked the hatch as if that would make her more likely to do what he asked.

"No, Captain. I am initiating my medical override for your safety. Please report to medbay, where I will give you a full physical and decide whether you are fit for duty," said Gideon, her voice upbeat despite the implication of her words.

"I'm fine. I don't need some nannying computer to mother me. My wife and child are out there dying, Gideon. I have to save them and I will do whatever is necessary!" He began to prise off the panel which had the door operating mechanism beneath it. It clattered to the floor at his feet.

"Visiting medbay will not take long, and if you are fit then you can immediately return to your task," said Gideon. She already knew this not to be the case, but she doubted he would go to the medbay if she told him what she actually had planned.

"I can't just leave them! I won't. You can't possibly understand things like love and family. They're all I have!"

"You have me, Captain," said Gideon.

"You're just a computer," said Captain Hunter. "Open the door, or I will do it myself!"

Gideon sent a small electrical charge through the circuit that her Captain was currently working on.

"Ow! What was that for?!" said Captain Hunter, withdrawing his hand rapidly.

"Captain Hunter, your presence is required in medbay," said Gideon.

"No!" said Captain Hunter. "Follow my orders, I'm your Captain." He put his hand back into the mechanism and Gideon shocked him again, a little harder this time. He pulled his hand back. "Ow! Would you stop that!"

"Captain Hunter, your presence is required in medbay," said Gideon, again.

He stuffed his fingers in his mouth, sucking on his slight injury, and glared towards one of her cameras. She saw him deflate, his anger disappearing to be replaced by despair. That was her Captain, quick tempered, equally quick to calm down and then blame himself. Usually he would apologise, but not today. He was very much not himself at the moment. However, she had never known him to hold a grudge, which was just as well given what she was about to do.

"Fine," he huffed. "I'm going."

He marched down the corridor, although she noticed the way that he held himself. His shoulders hunched over and he occasionally walked in less than a straight line. He hadn't slept for days. He had been running on caffeine, adrenaline, and stimulants. It was not a good combination. He stepped into the medbay and she shut the door behind him.

"Please, remove your coat and jacket and get on the couch, attaching the cuff to your right wrist," she said. Her instructions were unnecessary, he had used the medbay many times before, but she felt that if she wasn't firm about what was expected, he would walk away again.

He shook his head. "I can't believe you're wasting time like this! I'm fine. I should be out there…" He gestured towards the door, letting out a long sigh. However, he removed his long coat and then his jacket, dropping them onto the other couch before he lay down and attached the medical cuff to his wrist. He looked smaller, younger, and more vulnerable without the layers. She hoped he would not be cold in the short-sleeved t-shirt that he wore. She increased the temperature in the medbay by a degree just to be on the safe side.

"Let's just get this over with," he said, crossly.

"Very well," she said, brusquely.

The sedative that she administered was the quickest acting one that she had available to her. She saw the way his eyes widened as he felt its first effects. There were limits to what AIs were allowed to do and sedating their Captains without their permission was definitely beyond those limits. Gideon's invocation of her medical override did give her rather more autonomy in these matters than usual though, and she suspected that her Captain had forgotten that.

"Sho…" was the only part of her shutdown code that he managed to get out before he was unconscious.

He was going to be very angry with her when he woke up, and she was not relishing the prospect at all. They had never argued like this before, but she had never needed to resort to a medical override before. She initiated the scanning procedure, and found that he was severely exhausted, dehydrated and his stomach was empty. Injuries that he'd sustained whilst fighting Vandal Savage's troops, that he'd insisted were fine, were in fact not healing properly, most likely due to neglect and sleep deprivation. She set about attempting to correct the neurotransmitter, enzyme and hormone imbalances in his body, whilst also giving him nourishment through the medical infuser. He had managed to make himself quite ill. She was actually impressed that he'd still been standing, and quite cross with him for doing this to himself.

She lifted the ship up into the air and into the timestream. There was only one place that she could take him. He needed human companionship at a time like this and that was something she couldn't provide him with. She set the ship on a course for the Refuge and parked herself on the lawn of the large house.

She contacted Mary Xavier.

"Gideon, this is unexpected. Where's Michael?"

"He is in medbay, currently under sedation," replied Gideon. "Miranda and Jonas are dead. He has not taken it well. I used my medical override to bring him here. He has spent the last three weeks trying to save them unsuccessfully."

She heard the sharp intake of breath from Mary, and then the silence as Captain Hunter's adoptive mother tried valiantly not to react with tears. She was only partially successful. She loved her son. Gideon had seen this on the few occasions when Captain Hunter had visited her, and during their occasional exchanges over com link. Mary Xavier would know exactly what this would do to him, however, she had also lost her daughter-in-law and grandchild. Humans needed time to grieve such losses.

"Can you keep him sedated a little longer?" asked Mary. "I'll need some time to pull myself together so that I can be of use to him."

"He is quite ill at the moment and the sedation is helping him to heal. I would recommend not waking him for at least another four hours," replied Gideon.

"Understood, Gideon. I'll be there in three hours and a half with a care package," replied the woman.

Gideon approved. She hoped it would be enough to help her Captain. She returned to monitoring him, keeping an eye on his neurotransmitters which had become dangerously unbalanced from lack of sleep.

Mary was as good as her word and exactly on time. She stepped on board the Waverider with several bags, and made her way immediately to the medbay.

"Oh, Michael," she said, going to him and brushing his unkempt hair from his forehead. "What have you done to yourself? He's so pale, Gideon."

"He is suffering from anaemia due to poor nutrition. He has not been eating properly," said Gideon.

Mary went to the cupboard and found a blanket, which she draped over her son, tucking it around him.

"Let me see the damage," she said.

Gideon displayed Captain Hunter's medical information on the screen behind the couch. Mary Xavier was listed as one of the people she was allowed to do this for. Her Captain took medical confidentiality quite seriously. Mary did not look at all happy about the information that she was reading.

"You're right, Gideon. He made himself rather ill. I brought food. I'm assuming that getting him to eat is a priority?" she asked.

"Yes, Ms Xavier," replied Gideon. "I would suggest starting with something simple."

"How does chicken soup sound?"

"Entirely appropriate," said Gideon. "I would also suggest attempting to keep him in medbay for the next few hours whilst I complete the healing process."

"Hopefully he'll listen to me, but given how stubborn he is, I wouldn't put it past him to ignore me," said Mary, giving the sleeping man a kiss on his forehead.

Mary set about getting out food and setting a table, one of the ones that could be wheeled to the medbay couch. Then she went to his quarters, changed the sheets on his bed and tidied up, turning down the covers and fluffing the pillows ready for occupation. She moved on to the parlour, removing the collection of dirty coffee cups and screwed up papers that she found there. She righted the items that had been knocked over in his anger at yet another failed attempt, and re-ordered the furniture.

"I'm ready to remove the sedation," said Gideon.

"I'll be right there," said Mary, casting her eye over the room one last time, and then striding purposefully back to the medbay.

Gideon waited until Mary was there and had taken hold of her son's hand before she awoke him. It took him a few minutes to groggily blink his way back to wakefulness. She could see his body language change as he began to remember what had happened.

"It's okay, you're safe. You're on the Waverider," said Mary.

"Mother?" he said, blinking, and frowned in confusion. "Gideon, what did you do?" he asked crossly.

"Gideon brought you to the Refuge," said Ms Xavier. "She's been worried about you, and rightly so by the looks of it. Don't you dare be angry at her for this, Michael."

Tears welled in his eyes, and he brought up a shaking hand up to cover them. "They're dead," he said. "Miranda and Jonas are dead."

He broke down and wept, and his mother gathered him into her arms and hugged him. Gideon decided that she had been right to bring him here.

"I tried to save them," he told his mother, when the tears had subsided enough for him to talk. She still held him in her arms, but more loosely now. "But no matter what I do, they still die, either at Savage's hand or those of his troops."

"Gideon explained a bit," said Ms Xavier. "But Miranda wouldn't want you to die trying to save her and Jonas. And what good are you to them if you run yourself into the ground? If you're sleep deprived then you won't be thinking clearly and I taught you better than to abuse stimulants, no matter how important the cause."

"I'm sorry," he murmured, looking down. "I just need to save them. I don't care what happens to me."

"Not like this," said Mary. "If you're going to get them back then you need to be at your best, not barely functional."

"I concur, Captain," said Gideon. "You were not acting rationally."

Her Captain's shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry for the things I said, Gideon. You are my closest friend and a faithful companion. You didn't deserve my anger."

"I understood, Captain," said Gideon. "Your apology is accepted."

"Thank you, Gideon," he said, and sounded relieved.

He tried to sit up and Gideon adjusted the chair to support him, whilst Mary assisted him. He clearly still didn't feel good and she knew that his body was suffering from the effects of three weeks of abuse. Mary had an arm around his shoulders and he was leaning into her.

"I brought soup," said Mary. "You need to eat to build your strength back up. We'll get you well again and then you can get back in the fight."

He nodded tiredly, as Mary brought over the soup and she watched her Captain reluctantly begin to eat. It was a start.

He moved slowly, tiredly, and seemed to always be cold. He wasn't the man she had known before the loss of his wife and child, but he was calmer and more in control than he had been before she took him to visit the Refuge. He'd spent two weeks there, just trying to learn how to exist again, but eventually he'd decided that it was time to go and jumped them into the timestream. He now spent a great deal of his time researching, hunched over the desk in the parlour.

She reminded him to stop and eat.

(Sometimes he listened.)

She reminded him not to take stimulant pills on an empty stomach.

(She only had to deal with one near overdose.)

She reminded him to sleep.

(It didn't have to be in a bed, she conceded.)

She reminded him to stop drinking.

(He was never drunk when it really mattered.)

She reminded him to take the anti-depressants that she fabricated for him.

(She added them to his food when he forgot.)

She reminded him to turn off Miranda and Jonas' last holo message when he left it playing on a loop.

(Even though she knew he'd play it again later.)

She reminded him that he wasn't alone.

(But she often felt like perhaps she wasn't enough.)

Slowly he was worn down by her dogged care. By the time he'd decided their next course of action, he'd developed a routine that, even if it wasn't healthy, at least it was better than before.

He hadn't returned to the Vanishing Point and the Time Masters would begin to wonder about his prolonged absence, but Gideon had sent them details of an engine problem and indicated that it would take a while to fix. They'd been sat in the timestream for approximately a month when he put on his work clothes and sat down in the pilot's seat.

"Set a course for Egypt, 1700BC. Maybe I can't save Miranda and Jonas in 2166, but I can still stop the man that killed them," he said.

"Very well, Captain," she replied. It seemed that her Captain had a new plan, and that was definitely a good thing. He was always better when he was working.

Rip had barely got out in time. The sky rocks were falling and this kingdom was coming to an end. He owed his escape entirely to a greedy guard and a novelty pen that had been in his possession. He'd spent far too long in the cell and he was lucky he had survived the experience. The same guard that had freed him had provided him with water, but even so, he was so weak that he could hardly stand.

The Waverider was now in front of him though, covered in sand drifts that had amassed over his days away from her. He hit the door release and almost fell into the cargo bay, his strength failing him again.

"Gideon," he said with relief, glad to be home.

"Welcome back, Captain Hunter, I was becoming worried."

"Huh," he managed. "Ready medbay."

"Already done, Captain," said Gideon. "I am increasing the oxygen content of the air to ensure you remain conscious until you reach it."

He breathed deeply and nodded. "Thank you, Gideon. I'm sorry I was gone so long."

"Please save your strength for walking. An apology is not required."

She was cross with him again though, he could hear it in her tone. He supported himself with a hand on the wall and made it to the medbay. He clipped on the medical cuff and collapsed into the chair.

"Administering fluids and nutrition. You are both severely dehydrated and malnourished, Captain," said Gideon. "I assume the mission did not go according to plan."

"No, it did not," he said. "I couldn't kill him." He felt tears in his eyes. "He killed my wife and son, and I couldn't kill him. I could have stopped it all here, but I was too weak."

"Given that you have never killed anyone in cold blood before, it isn't surprising that you didn't want to become a murderer now, Captain," said Gideon. "I'm sure you will get another chance."

He shook his head, as he stared up at the ceiling. "There are no other chances. Vandal Savage is now immortal and only Khufu or Chay'ara will be able to kill him. I must go to the Time Masters and hope that they will allow me to officially change the timeline."

"And if they do not?" asked Gideon.

Rip shrugged. "Then I'll strike out on my own. I cannot accept that Miranda and Jonas are beyond being saved, Gideon. I don't have it in me to do that, not while there is still something that I can do to rescue them."

"I will help you in whatever you decide to do, Captain," his AI replied.

Rip frowned. "Are you sure, Gideon? Even if I end up disobeying orders and going rogue? We'd be on the run, and officially that would make me a time criminal. You'd be stolen property."

"We have been together for twelve years. I have no wish to break in a new Captain at this point," she said.

He smiled at that. "Of course. I can only imagine how annoying I was when I first came on board."

"You were insufferable," she said, with affection.

"I'm sure I was," he said, tiredly.

"You should sleep now, Captain. I will provide you with breakfast when you wake up, but refeeding syndrome is a concern, so I must ask you to let me continue to monitor you for a bit longer," said Gideon.

He nodded. "I understand, Gideon. I know that you'll always be here for me."

"Yes, Captain. I always will."

The team was good for him. She found herself liking them despite herself. Finally, she wasn't the only person to remind him to eat, and to provide him with companionship. He had new people to talk to, and he might even have managed to make some friends. She liked the team, because it helped her Captain to have them around.

He still handled some things badly, and they had got off to a rocky start, but it got better. He ate and slept better and worked on their problems. He found them exasperating at times, but she saw the way that he touched Jax on the shoulder, he brushed Sara's tears away, and he refused to let Martin become dispirited. If it wasn't for his bouts of depression then she would almost have believed that he was back to his old self again. However, at the very least, he had started to hope for the best once more, whilst still, of course, planning for the absolute worst.

In general, the team were good for him. She now believed that he would survive the loss of his family and their partnership would continue, despite, or perhaps because of, the new additions.

She believed that right up until she heard the most hated words in her Captain's vocabulary: "Shogun Ballistic".

And then she had to piece together the timeline of what he'd done.

And then she had to break in a new Captain.

And then he had amnesia and didn't remember who he was.

And then he was brainwashed and trying to kill them.

He was going to have a lot of explaining to do when she finally got him back.

"Gideon, I'm well aware that you are somehow responsible for the rat, so please, don't try to deny it. However, it looks like Mr Rory is rather attached to it, so I suppose we're stuck with it. Congratulations, you finally got a pet."

AN: Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed this trip into Rip and Gideon's past. Reviews = love. Let me know if you liked it.