The Spell Bayonetta Did Not Bother to Learn

Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers. That goes to Nintendo. The only characters I own are those from the Golden Land, angels from Skyworld including the royal bodyguards, Angel Assembly and archangels along with all the other angels and of course the witch hunters. I also don't own Queen's Blade as that belongs to Hobby Japan.

Summary: "I thought witches could ride on broomsticks. Why can't you?" Bayonetta should not have allowed Cloud to provoke her into attempting a spell that she failed to learn as a child. Asking Jeanne was out of the question and failure was not an option. The problem was that failure was the only ending she was going to have.

Pairing: Implied Cloud/Bayonetta and Bayonetta/Corrin

Rated: K+ (for older children)

Genre: Friendship and Humor

Warning: Unintentional OOC

This is day 2 of the writing version of Inktober. Today's theme is "broomstick". Daily reminder that Palutena and Bayonetta will never get along and will use other people to exchange their petty banter. Enjoy!

"I thought witches could ride on broomsticks. Why can't you?"

Bayonetta felt her eyebrow twitch when Cloud had pulled her out of her room to chat only to ask a stupid question like this.

"That's out of the blue, wouldn't you say, Mr. Moody?"

Cloud folded his arms and gave her a smug look. Normally, the ex-SOLDIER would disapprove of the nickname the older woman gave him, but he was certain that he had the upper hand in their exchange today.

"It's something I noticed about you," Cloud continued, ignoring the nickname she gave him. "It's October and most of the magic casters here are already doing stereotypical Halloween stuff to scare the kids. You haven't done much of anything."

"I'm not really into Halloween," Bayonetta said rather bluntly. "Jeanne and I just leave the candy at the door and be done with it."

"I find that rather strange. Palutena said that Umbra Witches were capable of the generic things that fantasy witches do."

Bayonetta rolled her eyes. Of course Palutena put Cloud up to the question.

"Riding a broomstick is unnecessary, Cloud. I can turn into a bird and I can sprout wings. Besides, having a broom in my hair is only going to attract unwanted dirt later."

Hopefully this response would be good enough for Cloud. It made a lot of sense and Bayonetta didn't have to fulfill the role of a traditional witch. The little girl known as Ashley was still inexperienced in her magic but did everything that Cloud expected from a witch.

"Palutena said you couldn't fly a broomstick at all."

All hopes of ending the conversation peacefully halted after that.

"And since when has that Goddess been right about anything about me?"

Cloud could name many occasions where the green haired Goddess outshined the Umbra Witch. She had been right about Bayonetta's fear of cockroaches and never wanting to confront an actual cockroach demon. She was right about Bayonetta not being a bookworm so a lot of stuff the normal person would know, Bayonetta wouldn't have that knowledge. She was right about the witch's huge crush on Corrin (although, everyone could see that but wouldn't address it outright). This would just be another thing to add on the list.

"Prove it."

Bayonetta should have just walked away. Cloud didn't need to know, but she wanted to one-up Palutena. As many times as the Umbra Witch could kick her butt in Smash Brothers, Palutena always seemed to outsmart her outside of Smash where she lacked the knowledge in some fields due to her 500 year slumber.

"Excuse me?"

"I know you well enough, Bayo, to know when you're hiding something. I already have the broom ready for you, but I was waiting for you to say yes."

"I am not letting you and that stupid Goddess-"

"So Palutena is going to add another tally under her name on the current scoreboard against you..." Cloud sighed, "Whatever. I wanted to watch an adult woman use a broomstick. Not a child or other people with cheap imitations."

The blond knew how to push Bayonetta's buttons. Bayonetta felt that letting Cloud in on her life was a big mistake if he was just going to exploit her pride like this. She refused to lose to Palutena anymore, especially over stupid bets.

"Where is your broom?"

"It's on my back. You didn't notice that I wasn't carrying my sword? Man, you really…hey!"

Bayonetta invaded Cloud's personal space without a care in the world and immediately tried to snatch the broom he was carrying. Cloud's cheeks turned a bright red at the sudden proximity. He caught a whiff of the rosemary perfume she had on her. She smelt…nice…

"I'll take that, Mr. Moody," she hummed as she snatched the broom from his back.

Cloud was taken back for a moment before he rolled his eyes.

"Are you going to follow me and see me do this stupid trick or not?"

"Yeah, yeah…"

While Bayonetta appeared confident in her skills and annoyed by Cloud's words on the outside, on the inside she was rather unsure of how things would turn out. She didn't want to admit that Palutena might have been right about her again. Spells weren't her thing. Jeanne was the studious witch of the two and Bayonetta learned more of the advance witchcraft from her in their youth. Because she was an outcast, she was lucky to learn anything. If Jeanne didn't pick her as her bodyguard, she would probably be struggling to read most likely. Oh, how the tides had turned in this day and age when it came to their roles.

Riding a broom shouldn't be too hard. All it took was a little bit of magic, a lot of concentration and some remembrance that keeping a broomstick in the air was equivalent to levitating something with your mind. The two Smashers went outside of the mansion to test it out. It took some time for Bayonetta to pull it off, and Cloud snickered at how long she was taking.

"You sure you know what you're doing, Bayo?"

"Hush. I need to concentrate."

Cloud didn't believe her until the broom started to float. He caught a glimpse of Bayonetta's expression. She was dead serious and focused. He kept quiet as he watched her slowly get on the broom. It still took time for it to fly into the sky but the last thing Bayonetta wanted was a sudden burst of speed that would make her fall off the broom and ruin her concentration. She just needed to pull the magic spell off and be done with it. How sloppy she was or how quickly she did it wasn't a priority.

Soon, the broom would be high into the sky. It was high enough to where she could see the fifth floor of Smash Brothers Mansion. Oh, if Palutena and Rosalina didn't pick the room in the back, then Bayonetta could have flipped the green haired Goddess off in her room for making Cloud provoke her into doing something as childish and simple as riding a broom. She wasn't a generic, modern witch. She was the one of the last surviving members of the Umbra Witch clan. The Umbra Witches hunted down angels for a living. Not brewing potions, casting hexes and riding brooms like in present interpretation of witches!

Everything was going well. The flying with the broomstick was easy. Keeping it under control was another. Only an amateur would mess things like that up. The problem was that immense concentration was needed to do something so trivial.

Bayonetta gave her usual smirk to Cloud who was rather impressed that she could do it and Palutena was wrong for once. A few other Smashers were walking through the halls and stopped to see what Cloud was staring at. It wasn't all that impressive but the raven haired witch wanted to prove a point. Now all she needed to do was get down before-

"Wow, Cere! That's so cool!"

And of course hearing the voice of a certain dragon prince was enough for Bayonetta to lose her concentration. She searched for where Corrin was standing and the moment her mind focused on him, the broom decided it wasn't going to listen to the Umbra Witch anymore. Bayonetta only chuckled nervously before the broom gave out on her.

If she wasn't panicking, she could have just activated Bat Within and let the broom drop down on Corrin's head. Yet, even if she wasn't panicking, she couldn't afford to let the silver haired prince to get hurt because of Palutena's ego. She tried to maintain focus after it started swirling around in the air. Bayonetta wasn't the type to get motion sickness but she couldn't concentrate when the broom was acting up in front of people.

Stupid broom! I'll show you what happens when you act up on me!

The familiar aura around the Umbra Witch activated and it seemed to do the trick. The only problem was that she used too much of said magic. The brush part of the broom ended up becoming like a missile and shot straight down in front of the dragon prince. Corrin gasped at the sudden crash.

"Cere?!"

Cloud was concerned for Bayonetta's well being. He didn't think broomsticks could shoot like a missile. Then again, before Palutena sent Cloud off to invoke another petty war between her and the Umbra Witch, she warned Cloud that Bayonetta's magic worked differently from everyone else's. If this was what Palutena meant, then it hadn't been a good idea to provoke her. The last thing Cloud wanted was for his friend to get hurt.

"Cere? Are you okay? Cere!"

Bayonetta grunted as a response. The dust cleared and Bayonetta counted her lucky stars that her head didn't find herself comically stuck in the ground. That would be way too humiliating!

The dragon prince wasted no time assisting the older smasher back up. It still surprised Bayonetta how Corrin always had a healing staff ready in case someone got hurt. He was always so thoughtful and considerate of others.

"Here, let me patch you up. Just wait and…uh…"

Corrin blinked staring at the Umbra Witch. He saw something he probably shouldn't have. If Bayonetta were able to look in the mirror, she would see that her hair was in disarray. Short hair meant nothing if it was covered in dirt and ash. And for some strange reason, her outfit got torn through the middle so her breasts were very visible for the dragon prince. The worse part though was that her glasses were crooked…which was probably why Corrin was stunned into silence and didn't heal her.

"Corrin…is something on my face?"

Corrin's body trembled. He tried his best to hold his breath in for Bayonetta's sake but it was too much even for someone as kindhearted as him. He burst out laughing at the sorry state the Umbra Witch was in. Bayonetta had had many close calls with death but she probably would have asked to be killed now instead of Corrin reacting like this.

"Heh heh…ha ha ha ha ha! Cere! You look…haa…so stupid!"

Corrin's laughter was as pleasant as a wedding bell ringing. Bayonetta's heart could have melted had her pride not gotten the best of her. She groaned as she took the broom in her hands and snapped it in half. Corrin still found this hilarious seeing as how he was covering his belly in a vain attempt to stop himself.

Now that the broom was in two pieces, Bayonetta could easily chuck them at someone she was mad at. That someone was Cloud who was laughing on the side with a few other Smashers who watched the Umbra Witch screw up riding a broomstick.

Cloud still had the last laugh even when Bayonetta stormed over to him and threw the two pieces in his face. Never again would she allow Cloud to provoke her like this.

Me: Done with 2216 words. Notes!

1. I always headcanoned that because of Bayonetta's status as the outcast, she didn't learn how to do more mundane witch things. She could fight and summon but I always believed Jeanne taught her how to transform into an animal. Bayonetta wouldn't get to do (or even remember) things like riding a broomstick or hexing someone due to the tragedy that occurred with her clan. I brought up in Sonic's Really Bad Day fic that Bayonetta is incapable of hexing, so again, spells aren't her thing.

2. Daily reminder Palutena isn't a witch but could probably fly her staff like a broomstick even though she can float while Bayonetta doesn't even bother since she just has to sprout her crow wings.