Mhm, well, this is for my dear dear friend Saffron who goes by the name Foxesandflowers ( u/5243517/foxesandflowers ) here and foxflowers on AO3.

I aplogise if i misgendered Frisk in any part of this, it was not my intention, i tried my best to stick to neutral pronouns and caught myself a few times writing fem pronouns.

I warn everyone here that there is suicide in this fic, if you are triggered by things like that and mentioned abuse, please please don't read this, if you're not, it's still a warning for you.

Frisk doesn't like this place, they don't like the way that they woke up even after throwing themselves off the top of Mount Ebott.

They think that perhaps this is what hell really is like.

So they pick themselves out of the flowerbed of yellow flowers, except…

They look back at the flowers, there's something enticing about them so they sit in the flowers, feeling around, there's something so soothing about it, like they were built for someone like them.

They remember the better days when their mum hadn't cared what gender they applied to but took them to the mall and bought them the blue and pink sweater, a show of support for their lack of conformity.

Afterwards they had a picnic in a field of flowers, similar to these ones.

But, the days slowly turned to ashes, falling around in their falsities and lies to conform to society's overwhelming needs and desires.

Eventually they have to leave despite how much they want to stay here forever.

The flower they meet is sad, they know that for they are too. "Howdy, I'm Flowey the flower."

Frisk thinks that the smile the flower hides behind are fake, they should smile like they mean it, and if they're not happy, then not at all. As their soul is pulled out of their body there's only a feeling of panic panic panic and get it back.

They hold their stick in front of them tiredly, they haven't been eating and it's starting to catch up with them.

"It's okay, they're only friendliness pellets."

They've always been to afraid, too cautious of the world to trust the word of this creature. So they dodge – they've always been good at that – the pellets and watch as their hopes crumble away to reveal the true nature of the flower.

But, it's still so sad. They can feel the remains of the being inside of it trying to claw its way out but they don't think that it'll be able to do so without one hell of a push.

"Enough!" And then a fur ball is there, protecting them from inevitable death, they want to deny its pleasure of taking away their death from them.

"I'm Toriel, what might your name be?" The creature asks, taking a knee before them so they seem much less threatening.

Frisk isn't sure whether the kind creature knows ASL but they try anyway, "Frisk? What a lovely name."

It's not, it's what brands them as hers and his.

They don't want that, but they nod anyway, it's only polite after all.

And when Toriel turns out to be as bad as them as controlling and restrictive as the rest of the world, they fight. Because, if they're going to die, it won't be at her hands.

But it wouldn't be fair to use the knife they have hidden away in their pants so instead they use mercy and Toriel moves for them. Flowey calls them a coward but that's okay, they understand that when you're afraid you lash out at people.

Sans is their next best friend, the only one to ever elicit a giggle out of them.

"Hey kiddo, you right?" There's tears gathering in their eyes because they didn't think that people were kind in this world, but here he is.

They nod wiping away the stupid tears. Sans sighs and brings them closer, they freeze abruptly because the last to do so was Toriel and Toriel is gone.

They suddenly realise just how cold it is and begin to desperately shiver in the cold snow of Snowdin (they secretly think that that pun is fantastic) and of how desperate their situation is. Sans seems to notice how cold they are and shrugs off his blue parker coat.

He wraps it around them and they giggle at how absurd the entire situation is, a skeleton is giving them a jacket because they're cold. Not even their mother did that in the later days.

They sign thank you and Sans nods, he can't really smile wider because he's already smiling.

"You'll be okay kiddo."

And then they have to fight Papyrus, they don't want to harm him so they dodge out of the way of incoming bones and retreat further into Sans' jacket, they knew how much of a burden they were.

This just confirmed it. So, they stop dodging and take the hits, unfortunately, Papyrus seems to understand what they're doing and stops just when they're about to run out of HP as the little bar tells them in cheerful yellow.

They wake up still cold after being in such a blizzard, sure, Sans' coat had protected them from the worst of it, but they still were wearing shorts underneath it. They begin to cry softly, there's no-one here to see them do it.

Regardless, they feel guilty doing it.

They blindly reach into their pants for the knife they know they stored there only to come up blank, they begin to panic because if they can't die then what will happen? Will they live their days in suffering or will they be put out of their misery by 'Asgore'?

"Looking for this?" And then Sans is there, standing over them with their knife in his hands.

They shake off their tears, suddenly filled with determination, they will die.

"I took it out of your pants when I gave you the coat." Sans says, voice deep and dark, his eyes are glowing slightly in the dim light. "What where you gonna do with this huh? Stab him while he's not watching?"

They shake their head desperately and begin to sign, but Sans doesn't pay attention to their signing and instead their soul comes out of their body and they fight a scream. It hurts so much, they just want it to end.

Perhaps it will. "It's a beautiful day outside,"

They're filled with a new form of DETERMINATION, one that will end them forever. Then they won't be able to harm anyone.

And as blue light fills the room, the ghastly figures of the blasters, they're filled with a sense of peace.

They know that Sans realises what the knife was for as they don't move at all in his opening move which pretty much obliterates them.

They see the mounting horror on his face and mourn the loss he will face, but this way, they won't be able to harm Papyrus.

In their dying breaths they sign that to him and watch as blue tears gather in his eyes, "I'm so sorry."

They smile, one, last time.