Touched By Flames
(Song Stuck in my Head: Lily, My One and Only by Smashing Pumpkins)

"I have an idea. It's brilliant. I have a brilliant idea," announced James, ruffling his hair as he threw himself down on the grass next to Sirius.

"You have an idea," Sirius replied through a mouth full of apple. "What is this idea of yours?"

"It's a brilliant idea."

"Tell me your brilliant idea."

James slammed the book down on the ground and began rapidly flipping through pages. Sirius quirked an eyebrow, glancing at Remus to confirm they were seeing the same thing. "Your idea came out of a book?"

"Yes," explained James, chewing his lip as he slowed his page flipping.

Remus laughed once. "Technically, it's not your idea then if it came –"

"Found it!" James exclaimed. "This… this right here. Look-look-look-look-"

"Get that away from me!" Sirius snorted, shoving the book James was thrusting into his face away. "I've had enough of that rubbish. Muggle studies say too much reading can be bad for your health, it can make you unsociable."

"Moony, look… look-look-look," James insisted, shoving the book into Remus' hands.

Remus furrowed his eyebrows, glancing over the page before looking back to James. "Felix Felicis? Why do you need Felix Felicis?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Why else? For Liiiiilly," he groaned. "Prong- no, I'm not even going to use your nickname. James, you have to move on. You have to go-"

"No," James grumbled. "No, I don't. I don't want to. I can't… I can't just-"

"She hates you," Remus mumbled solemnly.

"She doesn't hate-"

"Hate is a strong word," Remus corrected thoughtfully. "She strongly dislikes you… with the majority of her being. Strongly."

"Strongly as in firewhiskey strongly," Sirius agreed. "Strongly as in 'Don't you talk to me about James Potter. That arrogant oaf only said all that to get attention so gits like you fancy him,' strongly."

James' eager face fell. His head dropped forward into his hands, fingers threaded into his thick black hair. "Ugggh… she said that?"

"Yelled it at Wormtail and Sturgis over lunch," Sirius confirmed. "Then when Wormtail got defensive she said it was all because he was stuck so far up your arse he could help chew your food. She was pretty loud."

"That's why I need this!" lamented James, snatching back the book from Remus, jabbing his finger at the picture of a bubbling potion. "'For use during times when the drinker needs an ounce of luck. You'll find all your aims successful.'" He shoved the book into Sirius' unwilling hands.

Sirius rolled his eyes again. "'Beware of overconsumption – can lead to excessive giddiness, overconfidence, recklessness –"

"-Characteristics I already have-"

"-And excessive nose tweaking,'" he snorted at the text. "Well, Merlin knows we could all use a bit more nose tweaking in our day to day lives."

Remus laughed and James grinned. "You'll help me make it?"

"Obviously," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "It has to stew for six months, but that should give her enough time to cool off."

"We can hope," James muttered darkly. "Why did she get so angry anyway? I was only defending her against that slimy, grotty –"

"That slimy, grotty whatever he is," a silvery voice sang from above them, "was – note the past tense – one of her closest friends. She's upset, she's hurt, and you are an easier target for her anger because you are always there, James, whereas Snape… well, he is protected by dungeons, and friends who think he's a hero for calling her that word, and his own anger over your bullying... Her rage cannot get to him, but you… you are constantly throwing yourself in her path, so it can get to you much easier."

James considered for a moment before he noticed Sirius. He was sitting up taller and grinning broadly up at the girl strolling past them. "Wotcher, Tottle…" he purred.

"Hullo, Black," Julia Tottleham replied, smirking as she tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder.

"Gorgeous weather we're having today," he observed, looking toward the clear sky above.

"Lovely," Julia agreed.

"You're looking astoundingly fit, as per usual," Sirius added, jumping to his feet with a grin. He was a good five inches taller than her, but she didn't flinch, shy away, or appear flushed in his shadow. On the contrary, she straightened up more and her eyes flashed with wicked amusement.

"Thank you," she smirked. "These robes do nothing for my figure, but I'm glad someone is paying attention."

"Someone is."

"One of the few things you do pay attention to."

"Touché," Sirius laughed. "But only 'cause you're engaging. You don't bore me."

"Good to know," smiled Julia.

"Fancy a partner on your afternoon stroll?" asked Sirius, offering his forearm with a wink.

"A stroll?" chuckled Julia. "That's what you're offering me? A leisurely jaunt across the grounds?"

"It's a start," Sirius defended. "If we walked by the lake I'm sure I could summon a serpent to impress you."

James and Remus sniggered. Julia grinned wickedly. "Serpent," she laughed. "Getting a bit ahead of ourselves, aren't we? That might be entertaining, but I'm pretty sure all you could conjure up would be a flobberworm."

She turned over her shoulder with a wink and strolled back to the castle while Sirius grinned at her back. "Next time, then?"

"You bore me, Black!" Julia shouted without turning around. "Perhaps when you find something entertaining I'll accompany you on that walk."

Sirius watched her retreating silhouette until it disappeared inside the castle before he turned around to face James, who was shaking his head in amusement. "Like you're any better."

"I'm wearing her down," Sirius explained. "I like that girl."

"I'm pretty sure she's wearing you down," Remus added, getting to his feet as well. "If this keeps up and she doesn't cave, I expect you'll be begging –"

"Sirius Black never begs."

"Really?" James laughed. "I'm recalling the Halloween feast…"

"Yes," chuckled Remus. "I seem to remember downing three shots of that firewhiskey we stole off of Longbottom and then begging to chase after her when we were supposed to –"

"I wasn't begging!" Sirius grumbled. "I was pissed and lamenting that she had blown me off."

James leaned into Remus dramatically, slurring as he spoke in Sirius' low voice. "'Imm gonna go up there and snog her. I'll snog her until she cracks… why won' you let me go up there? Lemme go up there, I need-'"

"Shut it, Prongs," growled Sirius, punching James hard on the shoulder as Remus laughed and they began walking back inside.

The boys continued taunting Sirius as they ascended the long stair case to Gryffindor tower, Peter Pettigrew joining them just as they walked onto the seventh-floor hallway. As usual, they paid little attention to anyone else around them unless that person offered attention or a chance to show off. It was expected behavior; a typical day for them.

What was not typical was Lily Evans sitting alone in the common room when all of her friends were out on the grounds, or in the Great Hall preparing for the feast. O.W.L.'s were done, the year was over. This was a time for celebration and Lily was usually very much a part of these celebrations. But there she sat, alone on the sofa, staring into the fire as though her gaze was the only thing keeping it alive.

James paused, ignoring Sirius' eye roll and Peter tugging on his robes. He couldn't help it. He had to stop. It was a compulsion at this point. Anytime he saw her, he had to speak… no matter what came out of his mouth, he had to say it.

"Stop missing up your hair," Lily muttered, never turning her eyes away from the flames.

James paused, arm awkwardly extended towards his head for a preemptive hair fluffing. He cleared his throat and tied his fingers together behind his back. "All right, Evans?"

"Yes, thank you."

James nodded, a relived smirk playing on his lips. "So… feast this evening."

"I've heard."

"Planning on attending?"

Lily sighed and dropped her gaze from the fire, it was the first time she had moved since James had come in. "I… I'm not sure," she mumbled. She twisted her fingers together and stared at her feet. James cautiously moved closer to where she was, sitting down on the arm of the couch. He frowned when he saw that her face was streaked with tears. He leaned in, trying to catch her eyes with his. She glanced at him for just a second before turning away sharply.

"Food will be ace," James continued, keeping the conversation light. "Tottleham is already down there. I expect Fawley, McKinnon, and MacDonald are as well."

"Yes, you're right," agreed Lily, using her long red hair to obscure her face as she hastily wiped it clean with her sleeve. "You should take Black down there as soon as possible. Julia's waiting for him to come up with something entertaining to do."

James grinned, glancing over at Sirius, who had remained cowered in the stairwell to the boys' dormitory with Remus and Peter. His eyes lit up with interest at her comment. "I'll let him know. But you should… probably come down as –"

"I have loads of packing to do," she announced, standing and quickly walking towards the girls' stairwell.

"Evans, wait," James called, jumping over the armchair and chasing after her. He stopped a two-stride distance from where she lingered at the edge of the stairs, chewing his lip as he swallowed the incessant voice demanding he ask for another date. Instead, his face softened and he leaned in towards her. "Are you all right?"

Lily's shoulder's tensed. James could see her balling up one fist. Whether from anger or from an attempt to control her emotions he didn't know. He braced for the yelling that would follow.

"I'm fine, Potter. I'm perfectly fine," she replied in a shaky yet assertive voice.

"You can't have that much packing to do. You do have a wand," he reminded her. "You sure-"

"I said I'm fine, Potter," she growled as she stormed up the stairs and out of his sight. James pursed his lips, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and running his fingers through his hair. They got stuck; he swore under his breath.

"That was the longest civil conversation you two have ever had," Peter noted.

"And you did it without that potion," Remus added.

"Keep that up and you'll be in her knickers in no time," Sirius finished, slapping James hard on the shoulder. "Let's go get food. More for us since she's not coming."

The feast was spectacular: plates of roast, buttered vegetables, and plenty of desserts. After the announcement that Hufflepuff had surprisingly won the house cup, Dumbledore gave a rousing speech about the accomplishments of the past year and promising a good future to come. But there was a weariness to his words. He looked tired, all the professors did. James knew that look all too well. He'd seen it in the eyes of his parents the past few years, read it in the words of the letters they sent him. "Try not to cause too much trouble. And don't sneak off, James. There are things worse than a detention."

They never brought it up directly. In fact, no one at school brought it up in more than just a passing observation. But James had taken out a subscription to the Prophet that his parents didn't know about. In the paper he saw the truth of things. The ongoing turmoil; their world on the brink of war. It remained something that every student was aware of, whispering stories behind closed doors, but no one ever talked about it. Much like the cause of the conflict and the masterminds behind it: Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

"Don't say the name," Julia grimaced in the common room after the feast had ended. Gryffindor tower was, as usual, chaotic with laughter and conversations. Sirius rolled his eyes at her protest while James laughed.

"It's a word. It's just a name. It has no power," he said assertively.

"No, not at all," Alice Fawley countered. "Never mind the army of 800 or more wizards he has assembled that back up his cause. Never mind the spells they just authorized the Aurors to use in order to capture them. None of that is anything to worry about and certainly isn't caused by a person bearing a name with no power."

"Did they really authorize the use of the Unforgivable Curses?" asked Peter interestedly. "My dad said that was just a rumor."

"It's true." Alice confirmed. "The new Minister of Magic announced it. He's put more dementors around Azkaban to keep the ones we do catch in, and he's sped up the Auror training program and given them permission to use Unforgivable Curses if needed.

Peter frowned, watching as Mary MacDonald jumped up from her seat on the couch and ran to the portrait door for again. He looked at James. "Did you ask your dad, Prongs?"

Alice glared at him. "You'll believe him, but you won't believe me?" she demanded.

"She has an in at the office. You know that, right?" Mary said when she came back and perched herself on the arm of the couch. "Her boyfriend is there. Frank is an Auror."

Peter shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah… well, James' dad was basically an Auror for a while and now he keeps in touch with the head of the office," Peter replied, looking to James for reassurance. "That's why I ask him."

Alice shook her head, taking another sip of pumpkin juice that James had nicked from the kitchens earlier. The room was starting to quiet down a bit as the evening wore on. Marlene was snacking on left over desserts, Remus was leafing through James' potion's book and making notes of indgredients while Peter looked over his shoulder, and Mary had jumped up and run to the portrait hole again, her voice joining the Fat Lady's in yelling at someone outside. Julia Tottleham was sitting next to Sirius, allowing his arm to drape over her shoulders.

Despite the casual environment, James felt uneasy. He kept glancing at the stairs that lead towards the girls' dormitory, eyes narrowed with worry. He noticed Julia doing the same. "Evans never came down to dinner," he mused, looking in her direction.

Julia pursed her lips, looking to Mary, who nodded in agreement. "I don't think she was feeling well," she offered with a shrug.

"She's not sick," Julia reassured after seeing James' alarmed expression. "Don't get all upset about it, Potter. She just needs to… sort through some things."

"You know, they had a civil conversation earlier," Sirius whispered to Julia. "It lasted a good ten sentences."

Julia cocked an eyebrow up, and Mary looked interested. "Really?" she said before getting up and glancing towards the portrait door, shaking her head.

"Yes, really," James replied defensively. "She doesn't hate me."

Marline chuckled. "She strongly dislikes-"

"-his behavior," Julia interjected. "I actually think she kind of likes you, Potter."

James perked up as everyone turned to look at Julia. "She can't stand him," Alice countered. "Anytime you are mentioned all she talks about is how arrogant you are," she continued, giving James a look.

"I'm not arrogant! I'm confident-"

"-You're arrogant," agreed Julia, ignoring James' scoffing. "I didn't say it was a horrible thing, but a bit of humility would do you good, Potter."

"What makes you think she secretly likes him?" asked Mary. "She does talk all the time about how annoying they all are."

"'They 'all' are?'" asked Sirius defensively. "Now hang on, I'm not annoying. She's always nice to Wormtail and she gets on all right with Moony, doesn't she?"

"We have prefect duty together," said Remus. "She's always fine to me… never says anything bad then."

"The four of you together can be a bit much," Julia pointed out, grinning when Sirius pouted at her. "And I know she does bang on about how arrogant Potter is, much more as of late… ever since whatever went on at the Whomping Willow with Snape. In fact, every time you walk past she talks about it… almost as if she's trying to remind herself that she hates you."

James grinned. He couldn't help himself. It was compulsion.

"Stop smirking," Mary scolded. "She won't ever act on it if you smirk and dance around telling everyone she likes you – or telling her she likes you."

"They're right. She's not Felicity, or Melany… she's not impressed by that," Julia agreed.

"Well I've done poetry, and flowers, and those have both been a bust. What should I do then?" asked James.

"None of those again," Mary frowned, before rolling her eyes and walking towards the entrance to the common room. But this time everyone watched her curiously. She'd done this so many times now that it had begun to feel a little odd.

"I'd definitely stay away from the flowers," Remus suggested to James. "That was a disaster."

"It wasn't a disaster until he started on about how impressed she should be with him," Peter pointed out.

"I still have that poem, though…" James murmured thoughtfully. "I could try it again."

"Or you could try, you know, being yourself," Julia suggested. "You're not poetry. You're… James."

"And what is James?" asked Sirius philosophically. "Who is James? James Henry Potter… who are you? Do you feel that-"

"Ugh! I can't stand this," Mary growled, storming up the stairs to the girls' dormitory, her cheeks flushed pink with anger. Julia turned around sharply, throwing Sirius' arm off her shoulders before vaulting over the couch after Mary.

Peter looked at Sirius, then Sirius looked at James, who then looked at Marlene and Alice for an explanation. Both of them shrugged. They were the only people left in the common room now, which meant it was very quiet. Quiet enough that they heard loud and clear the argument taking place when Mary began walking down the stairs with Lily in tow.

"-Can't sit there all night knocking. It's driving me mad! He says he's going to sleep-"

"Let it drive you mad, then! What problem is it of mine if he's sitting there pouting? Why the Hell should I care?"

"Because he's waiting on you! If he sleeps there, in the morning you'll have to deal with him in front of every-"

"There's certainly no shortage of people in here now!" Lily shouted, angrily gesturing to the four Marauders, Alice, and Marlene who were all sitting around the fireplace, eagerly listening to their argument. "Why aren't you all in bed?"

"Moony and Fawley said we could stay up," Sirius replied with a grin as he gestured to a sheepish looking Remus. "Prefects."

Lily's face flushed angrily. "I'm a Prefect, as well!" she growled, pointing to herself. "Get –"

"Don't you take this out on him," Julia interjected. "He didn't do anything to you."

"Not to me, but he's not innocent!" Lily shouted. "Had it not been for their bullying, I wouldn't have had to step in and–"

James and Julia began shouting over each other.

"-Then he would have just gone on calling you that disgusting name behind your back!" James objected, sounding angrier than he felt.

"-Then you wouldn't have a reason break it off!" Julia countered, frowning at Lily's angry expression. "This is your chance to yell at him. Now you can tell him off!"

"Yell at who?" asked James. "I haven't done anything…" He muttered, cowering slightly as Lily glared at him.

"Not you," Mary said rolling her eyes. "Snape. He's been out there since after dinner, sulking and pouting on the stair case, saying he's going to wait for Lily so he can talk to her. The Fat Lady is yelling at him and he's yelling back and … I can't believe you didn't hear all of it," she muttered, exasperated, as she looked at the group.

"I heard her yelling, but honestly she yells a lot so I didn't think anything of it," Remus shrugged, grinning when Peter, James and Sirius all agreed.

Lily narrowed her eyes at James when he laughed. "I'm sure you hear it because you're always sneaking out and –"

"Hey," Mary interrupted. "I didn't drag you down here in your night robes for you get shirty with them. Julia's right, they didn't do anything to you. Snape is the one who called you… that name. And he did it to your face his time, how long has he been saying it behind your back?"

"Or, even if he hasn't," added James, "He's not defending you when his little gang of freaks call you that."

Lily flushed, tossing her hair over her shoulder and crossing her arms. James withered a little at the sight.

"I don't want to talk to him!" she growled. "Ever. He can sit out there all night-"

"Then he'll just be there in the morning and it'll be bad for everyone," Julia countered.

James puffed up his chest. "Here, I'll go-"

"No." Lily said firmly, holding out her arm to stop him. "That's the last thing any of us need. I… just… fine! Fine, I'll go." She took a deep sigh and steeled herself before pulling her robe tightly around her waist and striding out the portrait door.

Everyone fell silent and crept as close to the portrait hole as possible without making themselves obvious. James felt himself holding his breath as he strained to listen to their conversation.

"What the Hell are you doing?" Lily snarled. Despite the muffling of the portrait door between them, no one could mistake the rage in her voice.

"You didn't come down to the feast. You didn't come down ever. I've been watching-"

"Well, look how observant you are," Lily sneered. "What were you waiting for? What did you think was going to happen? That I was going to come talk to you?"

"I wanted- I need to talk to you," Snape pleaded. "I was angry after the O.W.L. By the lake, Potter and-"

"Potter has nothing to do with this. This is on you. I came to help you – I defended you! And you said, "I don't need help from filthy little mudblood's like her.' Mudblood's like me. All those times, you told me it didn't matter – you promised me it didn't matter. Then, when I stand up for you, you call me Mu –"

"I know what I called you!" Snape shouted before taking a breath to compose himself. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath. I only came out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here," she sneered.

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you 'Mudblood,' it just –"

"Slipped out?" she asked without pity, "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends," she growled. There was a beat of silence, then Lily began yelling agin.

"You see! You don't even deny it!" she accused. "You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Snape made a noise of protest, but didn't deny her allegations. James' ears felt hot. He could almost hear Lily shaking her head, and if not, he was doing it for her.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine," she said with finality.

"No," Snape pleaded. "Listen, I didn't mean-"

"To call me Mudblood?" Lily hissed, the word causing everyone behind the portrait hole to flinch. "But you call every one of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

The portrait opened and Lily stepped through, allowing everyone behind her to see his grief-stricken face before she slammed it shut. There was silence, then footsteps. After a moment The Fat Lady murmured, "He's finally gone. Thank Merlin for that!"

Lily sighed, closing her eyes and hanging her head. Julia walked forward and pushed her hair out of her face gently. "You're right, you know. You've know that for years, I think... and I know that-"

"Julia, I don't need it right now, okay?" Lily sighed, her lip tucked between her teeth.

Julia nodded, stepping back and giving Lily her space. Everyone stayed silent, not knowing what to say. James was suddenly overwhelmed with an instinct. "You hungry, Evans?"

Lily looked up, confused at his eagerness. "Not exactly…"

"Yes, you are," he insisted. "Come on. I'll take you to the kitchens, we can get something to-"

"It's midnight, Potter," She protested. "Besides, I don't want to go sneaking-"

"-You get on a train tomorrow morning. What's the worst that could happen? Besides," he added, a confident (not arrogant) smile spreading across his face. "I have this."

He shook out his cloak before throwing it over his shoulders and disappearing. He listened long enough to hear her to gasp and Sirius to mutter "Show off" before he lifted it again and placed it over Lily's head. Trying not to be overwhelmed with his good luck – sans lucky potion – he placed his hand at the small of her back and ushered her towards the portrait hole.

James couldn't help but grin at Lily's bewildered expression. She'd obviously never seen a house-elf before, and in the kitchens, there were hundreds of them. Not all of them were out, but when they entered five had appeared and instantly began offering the two of them food. Lily was slowly piecing apart a sandwich and watching the elves with wide, curious eyes.

"Does Miss want any dessert? We is having plenty of leftovers. Treacle tart, custard, chocolate cakes," a male elf with a tuft of blond hair and eager eyes was saying to Lily.

Her eyes were soft and her smile was gentle. "No, thank you. The sandwiches were enough. You've already gone to too much-"

"'Tis no trouble at all, Miss!" The elf exclaimed. "Harbey and the other elves are glad to serve. We know miss is always liking the pastries in the mornings in-"

"How do you know that?" asked Lily interestedly.

James chuckled. "They've been making your breakfast for five years, Evans. They know what you like."

"Yes, but they make breakfast for the whole table. Four tables to be exact. Four houses, hundreds of students. How can you remember-"

"You is always sitting close to the end of the Gryffindor table, with other misses who have blond hair and another miss who has short dark hair. The tray of pastries is always disappearing the quickest, and you is always happy when more is brought," the elf explained.

"Harbey is right," said another elf who had now appeared holding a tray of jelly filled pastries. "You is loving the pastries, and the treacle. We is remembering the Gryffindor prefect who is touched by the flames and her love of pastries."

"'Touched by flames?'" asked Lily curiously.

"Your hair, miss," the elf explained.

James nodded approvingly, a smile playing on his face. "Touched by flames. I like that," he agreed.

Lily pursed her lips, but a dull blush that matched her red hair had spread across her cheeks and James could tell she was also pleased with the description. She smiled gently then and accepted one of the pastries the elf was holding out for her. He bowed low before approaching James and handing him a piece of chocolate cake. Lily quirked her eyebrow.

"They know what I like," James shrugged.

"You're always scarfing down the treacle so I never pegged you for liking chocolate."

"Everyone likes chocolate."

"I don't," Lily replied.

"Really?" asked James. "Honeydukes chocolate? Not even that? That's the best stuff in the world!"

Lily shrugged. "It's all right, but I honestly could take it or leave it."

James shook his head, unable to keep a grin off his face. "You never fail to surprise me."

"It's not that surprising," she blushed.

"About as surprising as your friendship with Snape," James ventured.

Her eyes flashed dangerously, and James stared directly back into them. "Careful, Potter… you were just starting to grow on me."

James paused. Usually he was overly cautious in how he approached her, trying to appear gallant and brave the way every other girl expected him to be. But in the last hour he'd realized that Lily Evans wasn't every other girl. Lily Evans was Lily Evans. And Lily Evans wasn't impressed with James Potter…

But James Potter wasn't trying to impress her right now. Instead, he'd decided he wanted to get to know her. And getting to know her involved asking questions, questions he'd been wanting to ask for years. Questions like…

"Why were you friends with Snape?" he pressed, honestly curious to the answer. Lily's eyebrows narrowed and her hands squished the last remaining piece of pastry into dust. "I'm not criticizing, or taking the mickey," he added trying to stave off her anger. "I'm honestly curious. He's in Slytherin, you're in Gryffindor. How did you maintain that friendship? I saw you two on the train together first year. How did that happen?"

"We know each other outside of Hogwarts, obviously" Lily hissed.

"That would make sense," James nodded. "But how?"

Lily exhaled, her eyes dangerously angry. "Potter-"

"Evans, just hear me out. I'm confused. I'm curious. I'm concerned," he explained. "I know you think I'm this bullying twit who is mean just for the Hell of it. I'm not… I'm honestly curious about how you – smart, clever you – were friends with someone like that. Someone so dark and … evil. Evil, Evans…those sods knew more curses stepping off the train than half the seventh years. They know curses I've never even heard of. How were you friends with someone like that? With someone who would call you that disgusting word?"

"In my defense, prior to the lake, he'd never called me Mu-"

"Gah," James interrupted, holding up his hand. "Don't say it. Don't call yourself that. I hate that word. It's disgusting."

Lily's eyes opened slightly, she looked curious. "You're a pureblood."

"Yeah, I am, and I hate that word. Any decent pureblood agrees with me," James asserted. "Sirius is a pureblood, he hates that word too. So do Alice, and Marlene. Do you remember Gideon and Fabian Prewett from a few years back? They hated it. Frank Longbottom hates it, Dumbledore hates it. Just because I'm pureblood doesn't mean I'm better than anyone. It's blood, stupid blood. And no one's even a pureblood anymore anyway… they think they are, but there's muggle blood somewhere in their family. It doesn't mean anything. It certainly doesn't mean I'm any better than you, or Mary, or Sturgis, or anyone."

James finished, staring back at Lily with a defiant expression. He wasn't backing down now. If anything was going to be gained from this conversation, it would be that Lily would know James was nothing like Snape. Perhaps he could be a bully, but Snape never missed a chance to hex him either so neither of them were innocent. James had half-blood and muggle-born friends that he liked better than most of the purebloods he knew. James had friends in the muggle village in town that he ran around with during the summer. Snape hated everything… everything accept Lily it seemed like. The only thing James hated was the darkness, and the Dark Arts that came with it. He never understood why the dark arts appealed more to purebloods than it did to -

"We … sort of grew up together," Lily blurted out, interrupting James' rambling thoughts. She stared into his brown eyes before looking down at her fingers. Her expression was pained, almost as though she was asking for forgiveness. "Snape and I…we grew up together in a way. For a few years, at least."

James swallowed, leaning forward onto his knees and looking at Lily with a gentle expression. Her eyes were narrowed, almost strained. She twisted her fingers nervously in her lap.

"I used to be able to do things when I was a kid," she went on. "Magic, you know. I could move things and I could make myself float off the swings instead of fall. I didn't know what I was doing, but Snape did. He lived nearby and he saw us, my sister and I, and he knew. He told me everything: what I was, what was coming…"

"Your Hogwarts letter?" James clarified.

"Yes," she nodded. "He explained the school, and wands, and owls… all of it. When McGonagall came to talk to my parents, I knew exactly what she was talking about. I had to pretend that I didn't. Then, I guess, we came to school and … I was sorted in Gryffindor, he was sorted into Slytherin. He hoped I'd get in there as well, or at least into Ravenclaw. The Hat never said either, it went straight to Gryffindor."

James chuckled. "Mine did too."

"I'd read about the houses beforehand, after I'd gotten my books. He'd been going on about Slytherin, but I was glad I was sorted somewhere else. Though, sometimes I wonder if the hat took my stubbornness as bravery when it put me in Gryffindor," Lily confessed.

"You're brave," James reassured her.

Lily smiled and chewed her lip. "Perhaps. But, as we got older and I saw what Snape was becoming, what he was growing into… I never said anything. I told him I didn't like it, but I always let him talk me into believing that I was different. I was somehow different than all the other muggle-borns he called 'mudblood,'" she explained, frowning as James flinched at the word. "I knew it wasn't true, but I just … I couldn't just abandon him. When I go home for the summer, he's been the only friend I have at home, and even with that I feel lonely."

James tilted his head. "Julia and you are close. Surely –"

"I live in Cokeworth," Lily interrupted. "Julia lives all the way up in Durham. I don't have a broom, she doesn't either. My parents are muggle-born and traveling… costs a lot. She's come to see me before, but only on the way through to London. We write, but that can be hard because I don't have an owl so I have to rely on hers. Snape was someone I could see every day and he … knew me. So, that's why we were friends," she finished.

James nodded, standing up and moving over to where Lily was sitting. She didn't flinch away, but she didn't look up at him either. "And now you're not," he confirmed as he sat down next to her.

Lily shook her head. "Nope."

"Which means… you have time for other friends," he continued, smiling when she looked up at him. "I live just outside of Cricklaide, Moony lives in Bath-"

"Moony?"

"Remus," James explained.

"The four of you have interesting nicknames," Lily laughed. "I forget who is who."

James smiled, thankful the room was dim so Lily couldn't see how wide his grin was. "Well, we are interesting characters."

"Yes, that is true," Lily agreed with a yawn. "It's probably very late."

"I suppose you are right," sighed James. As they rose to their feet, the house elves rushed out offering pastries and sandwiches to take with them back to the tower.

"The train ride is getting long," Harbey explained as he shoved a package of cake and sandwiches into James' hands. "You is needing to eat more. You is staying too skinny all year long."

"I eat plenty," James frowned.

Lily giggled. "I'll agree with that, and where do you put it?" she asked, poking him in the ribs.

"In my fathead, of course," he explained, much to her amusement. He took the sandwiches and thanked the elves while Lily did the same, then threw the cloak over their shoulders and headed back towards the tower.

The walk didn't seem as long to James this night as it had seemed in past trips to the kitchen. That could have been because he had someone to walk with this time. Lily was quiet, her brow furrowed as though she had a complex spell running through her mind.

"Trying to think of what to hex me with?" James whispered cautiously.

Lily smiled, stealing a glance in his direction before turning her eyes forward again. "No, I was actually worried about seeing Peeves."

"Ah, yes," James chuckled. "He can't see us under here, but he's always been able to sense something… if he does happen by I know where to go."

"How do you know where to go?" asked Lily curiously. "Is that all you do in your spare time? Roam the halls looking for secret pathways?"

"It's not all I do," he grinned. "But I've done it enough that I know where to go. So, if Peeves happens, you'll have to trust me."

"I think that was also on my mind."

"Trusting me?"

Lily nodded, chewing her lip as they reached the portrait hole. "Orrery," she breathed to the Fat Lady, who gave her a curious glance before swinging open the portrait hole.

James gathered the cloak, tucking it under one arm as he followed Lily through. "You know, you have no reason not to trust me."

Lily swallowed, looking at James with a conflicted expression. "But I also have no reason to trust you. We have a bad record, you and I. You've bullied my friends-"

"He's not your friend anymore-"

"Yes, but Bertram is," Lily pointed out. "So is Robb, and Max Linghold, and-"

"I don't bully Max! Or Bert – you know Bertram can be a right arse at times. And Robb- Robb's my beater, we have a go at each other for-"

Lily shook her head. "I can't explain it, Potter," she sighed. "You can't expect … Listen, you were nice to me tonight, and that's wonderful. And it was nice talking to you, but you can't just expect me to suddenly change my mind about you after a few hours."

"I don't expect that," James muttered. "But you can at least… give me a chance now, right? I'm not all bad."

"I know you're not all bad."

James grinned compulsively. Lily rolled her eyes but couldn't hold back the smile that came unbidden to her lips. "So, write to me over the summer," he pleaded. "I'll write to you. If you get bored we can –"

"I told you, I don't have an owl," Lily reminded him. "My sister would go mental."

James scoffed. "It's just an owl."

"She hates magic."

James pursed his lips. Lily was frowning sadly. "I'll send you my owl, he'll stay until you can write back. Or have Julia's drop off a letter on his way back to Durham, they don't mind as long as the instructions are clear."

Lily smiled gently. "I suppose I can do that."

James nodded. "Good," he grinned, ruffling his hair before stepping around her into the common room. Lily turned to follow him, but he'd paused suddenly, a grin spreading uncontrollably across his face.

"What-?"

"Shhh," James hissed. "Apparently, things got entertaining."

Lily looked around him and clasped her hand over her mouth to stifle laughter. Julia was straddled across Sirius' lap in one of the arm chairs, kissing him fiercely. His arms were tied around her waist and her fingers were laced into his thick black locks. Lily laughed, the sound muffled by her hand as James sniggered beside her.

They stood for a few seconds watching as Sirius threaded his fingers into Julia's hair to pull her closer. Lily moved slyly around James and purposely pushed a stack of books onto the floor. They clattered loudly, causing Sirius and Julia to jump apart so fast that his hand got stuck in her hair. She yelped as he pulled his hand free, jumping aside and straightening out her clothes. Sirius swore then muttered a quick apology before standing up.

"What the-"

"Oops!" Lily gasped, pressing her fingers to her collarbone dramatically. "So clumsy of me."

"Yeah, Evans," James scolded. "You really should watch where you're going."

"I should, shouldn't I?" she agreed. "All that racket… I could disturb someone unexpectedly."

"You're back awfully late," Julia snarled, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms.

"You're up awfully late," Lily replied, still grinning as she mimicked her friend's posture. "Perhaps we should be getting to bed."

"Hmmm," murmured Julia, glancing down at Sirius before looking curiously at Lily and James. "Perhaps. I expect these two will want to chat with each other."

Sirius pouted comically and Julia rolled her eyes. "Don't give me that face; I know you're the type to kiss and tell and honestly, they saw us so there's no sense in denying that we were getting off with each other…"

James laughed and Sirius shrugged, a sly smile spreading across his face. "Good to know."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Good night," she laughed before walking up the stairs, giggling uncharacteristically as Julia raced after her.

Sirius looked at James, who was still grinning broadly. "Interesting night?" asked Sirius.

"Not as interesting as yours," James laughed, smacking him hard on the back as they walked up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.