Author's Note: Hi, guys! I'm sorry it took me a bit longer to update. I will try to get better at aiming for monthly updates! Speaking of updates...There's a lot to update on! I first want to give a huge thank you and shoutout to AlexHamato who was kind enough to be my BETA reader. I'm so thankful to have AlexHamato be so supportive and incredibly helpful! This wouldn't be possible without you! And, as always, I'm incredibly thankful to all of you who take your time to read, comment, and follow/favorite! "The Gambit" has also been nominated for the TMNT Universal Reader's Choice Awards for Portrayal for Best Ally- Usagi! WOW. I'm so incredibly thankful. My other completed work, "A Turtle & His Sisyphus", has been nominated for Best Canon! I'm so humbled to have so much support. As always, please don't hesitate to review or message me with any questions or thoughts. Thank you SO much for your time! I hope you all enjoy! See you soon!

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7

—-

Michelangelo knew in his gut he didn't belong here. He belonged in the sunny warm air, or buried in blankets with a cup of hot chocolate. Instead, he dug his feet in the fresh snow and crossed his arms. With a pout, he shivered as he attempted to wrap his scarf around his hands. Picking up the next box of small mechanical parts, he carried it over to the van. Mikey knew Don got some parts from his homeless buddies under the bridge, but he wasn't expecting the alarming amount of small little pieces. "Geez, your friends really hook you up, huh?"

"You'd be surprised how easily people throw things not not considering how some parts are still in good condition. Anyway," Donnie was quick to note his brother's dreadful demeanor. Don sat on the back of the van sorting through some of the boxes with a devilish smirk, he commented. "I did say it was going to snow-."

Mikey snapped around, dramatically dropping the box in front of his brother's feet. "Yeah, yeah! And you told me to grab a jacket and I said I thought it was in the van— I know. I was there, mom!"

"Good, then I don't have to hear you complain for another few minutes." Donnie laughed, playfully elbowing his brother as he hopped up. Reaching for the next set of boxes, "I'm almost done. Besides, I didn't think the storm would come this early. They said it would hit after rush hour but…"

"Well," Mikey kicked some snow toward the pile of junk in front of him, "ya thought wrong."

Don shrugged with a laugh, "Hm? That's something I don't hear everyday."

"So, besides literally freezing my ass off and getting your stuff, I assume we're out here for some air— no matter how painful it is to breath this frost."

"Well, that's not the only reason I needed your help." Finishing sorting through the boxes, he shifted his focus on locking up the van's rear doors. "I…know there's been a lot going on at home, and we've all taken some space in some way to get away from it. I thought maybe it'd be fun to plan something. You know, like a getaway weekend. Just the four of us up at the farmhouse, away from the city. Away from, just everything for a bit. What do you think?"

Mikey was surprised of his brother's spontaneous request. Usually, going up to the farmhouse is the most stressful for Don. Limited internet connection, barely functioning outlets. Almost everything there needing to be fixed, or buffered. "Really? Man, we haven't done that in like what…two years?"

"Thank you, guys again!" Don waved a final goodbye to his friends as he looked back over to Mikey before walking toward the driver's side of the van. "Oh, yeah! We attempted to go camping and Raph caught the flu like that night and we had to turn around and hike back. Oh, he was so miserable. That was awful."

Mikey laughed at the memory—Raph hurling his guts out, Don arguing with Leo about directions. At that time, Mikey was just trying to find some way to lighten the mood, Which didn't go over well into Raph. Jumping in the passengers seat he eagerly shoved Don as he continued to laugh. "Oh my god, that's right we'd walk like barely a mile and he'd throw up and it took us like hours cause he wouldn't let any of us help him."

"Typical Raph," Don shook his head with a smile, slowly maneuvering through the pile of snow. "He would rather slowly suffer in agony than admit to any of us to help him. But, I'm hoping this time will be different. So, you in?"

"Uh, is that even a question? Hell yeah, I'm in!" Turning the volume up in the van, he slouched back in his seat as they drove together, humming tunes, until a small idea popped in his head. Looking over to him, he smirked mischievously, "So…I have a request for you."

Don shook his head, his eyes never leaving the road. His laugh was deadpanned as he said, "Oh boy, here we go. Yes? What is it?"

"I get to create the agenda."

"The…agenda. And that's for?"

"Dude, please!" Mikey pleaded, all the ideas— possibilities— flooding into his mind. "You know, like what activities we do when we do them and stuff like that! Please!"

"Eh, why not?" Don shrugged uneasily before glaring over at him warningly, "Just keep it you know, normal? Nothing that Leo wouldn't at least somewhat agree to do."

Mikey smirked back. "Is that a challenge?"

"No, it's my desperate plea to keep us sane."

"Aw, what's the fun in that? So, when are we doing this crazy road trip?"

"Well," Don sighed. "I was thinking this weekend since Splinter will be away and everything's quiet right now. But, I don't know if the others will be up for it. You know?"

Mikey slouched back in his seat, watching the snow quickly stick to the road in front of them. He couldn't help but think of the position they were in. He tried to imagine how scared Leo might be, and how much of himself he gives to their team. Or how confused Raph might be, who always followed behind Leo. Looking over at Don, he was the most calm— as he always does. Mikey always found it harder to imagine what Don might be thinking.

Could this be possibly Don's way of celebrating before…leaving?

"I'm sure it'll be fine." Don's voice broke Mike's thoughts, as he offered a small smile. "It's hard for him to say no if we're all into it, right?"

"Oh yeah, he'll have no choice but to cave in!" Mikey smiled back. He knew no matter how hard he tried, he can't predict the future. He couldn't rely on maybes. He only had trust. Trust that each of his brothers did what made them happy.

For now, he can make sure this celebration could count.

—-

Raphael hated the silences. The long, dreadful lapse of time that can linger until someone can break it. Someone who can snap reality back in it's place, who can make them grounded again. A haunting emptiness that plagues the mind, he found himself back in that sinking feeling. Like when one of his brothers hits the ground after a heavy blow, an eerie stillness stirs in the air before someone can speak. That stillness, that can never be moved.

Silence can always a valid choice, Splinter once told him. It allows the mind to meet the body like a river connecting to the sea— where together they can learn to flow as one. Raphael remembered that vividly only because it was drilled into his mind since childhood. Every annoying snap he made at Michelangelo, or rolling his eyes at Leonardo's orders. Splinter was right there watching. Reminding him of that flow, to take a breath, and let it go.

Silence can be more than a choice, but an opportunity to gain more perspective. A chance to see the world through a different lens. Splinter told him that after fights with Leo became physical, arguments echoes in their peaceful halls with thunderous insults. Think of the river, Splinter urged, and how rough it must have flown when it met the sea. How to separate entities must learn to flow as one. Eventually, the river would learn how the sea works and adapt to the natural flow.

Screw it, Raphael fought, he didn't want to change. Especially not to Leo, or his rules. After many years of fighting the current, Raphael learned just how silent Leo was. How Leo would eventually just stare right through him, as if waiting patiently. Leonardo was the river, and Raphael was the sea. Or, whichever. Spending years collating with each other, someone had to adapt.

Leonardo's who's current is the most prominent and powerful, who he struggled with the most. Time brought no ease to their tension. It was like a never ending power struggle between the two. Down the line, Leonardo lessened his guard. Or maybe Raphael learned how to agree to disagree. It didn't matter, Raphael bitterly thought. Regardless of their differences, they learned to be one for their family—and overtime, for each other.

Donatello, Raphael felt, was always the easiest to work with. While quiet and gentle, Don never hesitated to stand his ground and fight for what he believes in. Raphael envied how easily Don could hold himself, never seeming selfish or too lax. Even in the midst of chaos, it was Don's voice that instilled calmness and assurance. It was his brother's level-headedness that kept him from crashing. Even at this moment, Raphael still found himself relying on Don. Raphael hated feeling like his younger brother probably knew this as well.

Michelangelo, the most erratic and free. His youngest brother didn't make it easy over the years. Mikey knew how to test Raph's patience daily. Raphael always had thick skin, but Mikey made him tougher. Rather than chase him around the lair after a joke, he learned to just roll his eyes instead. That their lives could be more than resistance and fighting. Mikey reminded of him that daily. Now, Raphael struggled to remember the last time he felt his brother's energy.

But now, there's stillness. Raphael didn't know what to do with it. He was lost, feeling like he was floating aimlessly around until somebody could snap him back. That's what his father tended to do best. But this was unexpected. Like an earthquake, shaking and shifting the world around them.

"My son, you were supposed to be the Battle Nexus Champion. Not Michelangelo."

Raphael froze. Standing behind Leonardo, he wasn't sure if he felt lucky or not. Unable to read the look on his face, he could only stare blankly over Leo's back to see Splinter. Raph could feel Donatello stiffen next to him. In the corners of his eyes, Raphael caught Don looking at him in shock before looking back to Splinter. Splinter's face showed no emotion.

Maybe it was disappointment, but Raph's gut told him it was grief. Raph's mouth tightened into a thin line. That's not what a father should look like, Raph bitterly thought. A father creates a foundation for security and stability, to teach his children how to survive. Raphael often saw his father to be that example. Through every trial and lesson, Raphael always came to an understanding of his father's methods. Now, Raphael struggled to even comprehend his father's reasons.

His father confessed, weakly. "My sons, I take full responsibility for this. You must know, every decision I made was to give all of you the best outcomes. The best futures that I could possibly ensure. I promise you, I will not rest until I make this right—."

Leonardo walked, angry and scowling toward his father. "You?"

Raphael blinked in surprise at how dark his older brother sounded. Like every knot that was tangled so deep inside was finally letting loose. He watched Leonardo step forward, slowly moving toward him. Raph took it back, he didn't want to see the look on his father's face— he could feel every piece of it.

Leonardo's rage didn't simmer, it grew more and more. "Every good intention you did was done by lies. Every single day you drilled into me how important it was to act with integrity, to choose rightly and justly— and yet, for years you hid the truth and covered it up with excuses. Don't tell me there you had no choice. You chose to hide your past. You chose to hide the Nexus from us!"

Raphael felt his stomach drop. Raphael watched every single step, eyeing his brother's hand twitching over his weapon. He saw this before, he felt this before. Years ago, Leonardo couldn't let go of his anger and resentment toward the Shredder. If it weren't for the Utroms, all of them would have perished together. Days turned into weeks, and Leonardo still couldn't let go of the thought that ran through his mind. Raphael didn't know what Leonardo felt, but it grew and grew. Until, one day, Leo finally snapped at their father. Raphael wasn't fast enough, and Leo struck their father. It tormented him for months after. It was the sole reason he left them all for months, training alone with the Ancient One with no contact.

Raphael knew he failed his brother before. But, he had to make up for it. Raphael had to stop this. No, Raphael thought to himself, not again. He can't go there again. Quickly, Raphael put his hand on Leo's shoulder. Softly, he pressed. "Leo, it's-."

He anticipated Leo pulling away, but didn't expect a hard elbow digging into his chest. He could feel his anger, and Raph knew he wasn't even close to finished.

Leo's voice raised an octave, as he took another step forward. "You chose to sneak around behind our back. You chose to let us compete anyway. You put Raph and Don at risk— God, you chose to lose to him! You let him win! You knew what was at risk, and you still put Mike in that position to have a chance! Was it worth it? Making him feel good before putting his life on the line— was it?"

Raph suddenly saw Don was circling around Leo, following Raphael's reaction

He himself looking unsteady as he attempted to follow Raph's actions. "Leo-!"

"Even after all that, you still put him at a chance to get hurt in that rematch. And on top of that, you knew he had the chance of getting seriously hurt. No. You didn't chose us— You chose to protect yourself!" He raised his hand to his weapon, but Raph was faster. Suddenly, Leonardo felt his arm be twisted back. Don struggled to react as strong as Raphael did, frantically pulling on Leonardo's shoulder away from their father.

"Come on, man, let's take a walk, alright?" Raphael shook him firmly. He knew Leo was beyond the point of talking him down, he need to get out. Raphael refused to sit back and watch him crack again. He pressed harder. "Come on."

"I trusted you!" Leo howled, resisting his brother's restraints. Both struggled to keep him grounded. Raphael failed to drown out his brother's cries. Leonardo continued, regardless of the struggle his brothers gave him. "A father keeps us safe, puts himself on the line. So I was just some pawn to sacrifice is that it? Building me up to just throw myself away, is that it? You lied to me, to us. You let this happen to Michelangelo! If you really cared, you'd let Mike lose and take the victory for yourself. I was just an option for you. Using us against the Shredder for your revenge? Fuck you-!"

"Alright—We're going!" Raphael knew Leo he was speaking the raw truth, but Leo would regret it— he had to end it, for his brother's sake. Raph twisted Leo's arm behind his back and pushed him towards the field that they came from earlier. "Keep moving, Leo, come on."

Leonardo resisted. His voice dropped dangerously low. "Let. Go."

Raphael hardened, pushing Leo roughly. Raph knew his brother was slipping deeper away. Raphael had spent years crawling out of that pit, he knew he'd be damned if he'd let Leo fall. Raphael softened his voice, continuing to move him away. "I know, okay? Just keep walking."

Raphael wasn't sure if Donatello was near them or not, but he had to keep his focus on moving Leonardo away from Splinter. Once they were far away enough from the others, Raphael's tone shifted. Aggressively keeping his grip on his brother. "You need to get your shit together, Leo. I get it, okay? But, Don doesn't need this right now. You need to collect yourself, alright?"

"No, you don't." Leonardo felt himself get released from his brother's grasps. He jerked back around, watching as Don approached Splinter and the Ancient One. Together he watched as they went inside the building with Usagi, lingered behind them. He paced around, glaring at Splinter. "He-."

"It doesn't matter right now." Raph cut off, huffily snapping back. "Look, what he did— we gotta focus on getting Mikey back, deal with this crisis crap after, alright? We…I need your head on straight. We're gonna figure out how to talk to these asshats and—"

Leonardo was eerily still as he turned away. His voice shook as he asked, "Is Don with him?"

"What?" Raphael blinked.

"Don. Is he inside?"

"Yeah, they're all inside. Why—Leo?"

Leonardo was standing beside him, and then he wasn't. Leonardo kneeled down beside Raphael, hanging his head low as his eyes narrowed at the grass in front of him. He began pulling at the grass around him, piece by piece. Distraction helped him, he was supposed to clear his mind. But every piece he pulled made his thoughts escalate, louder and louder in his mind. Hurting their father, abandoning his family— Every mistake flooded Leo's mind. He remembered watching Raphael pull himself away from their family, or how Donatello nearly lost himself to his mutation. And now, the thought of Michelangelo never coming home. The guilt suffocated him. Leonardo couldn't drown out the thoughts, not this time. Burying his face in his hands, Leonardo choked on a sob. "It's all my fault. I'm so sorry."

Their fearless leader— his brother, who never dared showed single ounce of emotion in battle was crumbling. Leonardo was always the one who stood awake sleepless nights waiting for Raphael to return home safety. Leonardo was the first who'd arguing relentlessly with Don enough to convince Don to get even a few hours of sleep. Or how Leo would double check every night to make sure Mikey wasn't having any nightmares. Leo was always the one who'd keep them all steady, and secure.

But, this was different. Raphael helplessly sat beside him, watching as his brother trembled through sobs. Raphael felt guilty, knowing there was absolutely nothing he could do to even begin to fix this. Hell, he didn't even know if he could. Raph gently put his arm around his brother, with a firm grip. Silently assuring his brother he wasn't alone. And neither was Mikey.

Raphael hoped that would be enough.

Michelangelo never attended a real school, but he knew that look. That look that the teachers give when they know you have no clue what's going on but insist on watching you stumble until you admit you really had no idea what was going on. He got it from Splinter nearly every other day.

Yet, today, he found himself as the fumbling student, as not one— but three — sets of eyes watch every single move he makes. The group sat beside each other on their own decorated thrones that matched their outfits, Mikey noted how cool that was, mentally giving them a point for style. But, their blank stares didn't help.

Neither did the last pair was standing across from him, unlucky for him, it was Hisomi. Who, if he remembered correctly, was the master of stealth. Making his "exam", dramatically unfair, Mikey felt.

The command was simple enough, Mikey felt at first. They wanted to see the basics of what he knew. From his morning routine, to every single weapon he could use — including his brothers'— and basic kata exercises. He was forewarned about their expectations, and this wasn't the morning after a night out patrolling with Raph and Casey either— Mikey knew he had to be on his best game possible, even if his gut said otherwise. The final request was a few sparring matches with Hisomi.

No matter what advance or tactical attack Mikey made, he could feel Hisomi was holding back. Like he was amusingly watching each of his committed attacks. It almost felt mocking. Mikey shook it off, Juto already warned him— he doesn't have room for insecurity. He had to work harder than he did for Splinter for those years, he had to fulfill the promise he made to Leo.

It seemed like a lifetime ago, climbing the mountain top with Leo before the rematch with Kluh. All he could think about at the time was how desperate he was to go home. No matter how much he complained, everyone else left except Leonardo. It was his brother's voice that echoed in his mind during the fight. It was like a light switched on in his mind and body. Mikey never felt that focused in his whole life, every strike he made had purpose. His bodily moved swiftly, never once letting his guard down. Leonardo's voice echoed in every move he made.

"If one of us goes down, we all go down."

I won't, Leo. I got this.

"That's enough." Kon's voice echoed, as he stood from his chair. He muttered something to Juto as he looked back over to Michelangelo. "You are indeed Hamato-clan, you move similar to how Yoshi did. And Splinter-san. But, there is this flexibility that the two struggle with. Yet, your mind continues to be a distraction. To start, your weapon is useless. It cannot make a fatal strike, and stunning will not suffice. You will need to choose a new weapon."

Mikey sadly looked down at his nunchucks. His final connection to the lair, to the dojo where they spent years learning. His last, only, connection to home. He hesitated, gripping his weapon tighter. "I get it, yeah. Can, uh, I still keep them?"

"For what purpose?" Kon challenged, pressing. "I cannot see why."

"For…sentimental ones?"

"You are an acolyte. Physical possessions are meaningless, distractions. Just as this," Michelangelo's eyes widen as Kon reached into his pocket, revealing his shell cell. "it seems this may be a part of why your mind is clouded. Do you agree?"

Mikey flinched, desperately taking a step forward. He mentally begged for the last physical connection to his family. All the photos, videos— he can't lose them. Juto's gaze met him, as if to say 'it's okay'. Mikey fought through his distress, his eyes glossy as he nodded. "Yes. You're right. They are…a distraction."

"A distraction, indeed." Kon squeezed the small device in his palm, crushing it into small mechanical pieces. Mikey's mouth gaped open, feeling his stomach sink. Every photo, video— gone. Mikey watched as Kon's manipulative smile spread from ear to ear. "You have proven physical agility and ability to learn. That, we did not doubt. But, as an acolyte, you must understand the balance of loss and gain. Take such the place you are in now, existing in a place in-between reality and beyond. Every moment that passes, he grows more and more powerful. He is a being of great power, physically, and spiritual. You must learn to distinguish between reality and fantasy in order to defend against him when he attempts to take control of your mind. Now, let us see, if your spiritual strength can match to par."