Troublemakers

Chapter 9

"Korean gingseng," Kyouya deadpans, "What were you thinking?"

"It was the most logical choice," Mukuro answers with an insufferable smirk. "You have shown significant improvements in your health - physical, mental and sexual."

Mukuro is lying on his side, coyly stroking his own thigh. Even as Tsuna's newly appointed Mist Guardian, he refuses to ditch his leather pants and hooker boots in favour of trousers and dress shoes.

Kyouya tilts his head. "You really have no idea what you are talking about."

"Is that so." Peering at him with half-lidded eyes, Mukuro loosens his tie and unbuttons his shirt. Then the gloves come off and so do the boots.

Kyouya's gaze trails down to Mukuro's exposed chest. It bothers him that he doesn't want to look away. "So the navy is natural," he says at last, choosing to focus on the scattering of chest hair.

Mukuro looks offended. "I don't dye my hair." The smirk widens. "Let me show you."

Kyouya rolls his eyes and walks out of the room to cool off his head as Mukuro tries to wriggle out of his tight leather pants.

His skin is so pale, and he's so thin. Kyouya wonders how Mukuro can treat patients when he can't even take care of himself.

After being referred to as a prostitute by Kyouya for so long, Mukuro cannot help but grin at the thought of Kyouya encountering actual prostitutes. Not that the Cloud hasn't seen prostitutes from a distance before - this is the mafia - but none of the people Kyouya surrounds himself with seem to be the type to bring in a floozy.

And all offence meant to prostitutes; Mukuro's sense of fashion is clearly superior. His leather pants outline his figure much better than lingerie ever could, and he just loves the way his thigh-high boots allow him to tower over Kyouya even more than he already does.

"It's ugly," Kyouya deadpans, not for the first time. "It makes you look ridiculous."

"Uh, no," Mukuro begins. "The boots are amazing."

"Nice argument - you've really changed my mind," Kyouya snaps back.

"I bet I could get Reborn to wear some - Fon would like that, wouldn't he?"

"Do not talk about my baby like that."

Mukuro splutters. "Bab- hold on, what?"

"The hitman," Kyouya explains. "The baby."

"You gave the hitman a pet name?!"

"It's a descriptor. Before. There was an entire thing."

"Do I get a cute name?"

"Pineapple."

"Kyouya," Fon says, interrupting yet another 'Mukuro Rant'. "Maybe instead of talking to Reborn and me, you could talk to Mukuro instead and tell him what annoys you so he won't do it again."

Kyouya frowns in frustration. "If I tell him, he'll just become more annoying."

Reborn clears his throat. "What Fon meant to say was 'stop bothering us'."

"I didn't," Fon says quickly.

Reborn continues over the top. "I don't know if you plan it or you just have awful timing, but whenever you show up, it's about five seconds before I end up in bed -definitely not to sleep- so I would appreciate it if you could tone down the psychiatrist sessions we've got going on right now."

"Ignore Reborn," Fon insists. "Any time you need us-"

Reborn stands up. "Excuse me, Kyouya, but I'm going back to my bedroom to entertain myself." He glances at Fon. "Meet me in the next five minutes and maybe I'll let you bench press me with your dick." The hitman saunters out.

Fon looks between the door Reborn just left through and Kyouya, indecisive. "I promise, we can talk later as much as you'd like," he swears before lurching to his feet and quickly disappearing after Reborn.

Kyouya makes a disgusted sound and leaves, but he can't quite ignore the hint of desire that stirs within him. He goes straight to his own bedroom, where a navy-haired hooker is expectedly waiting for him.

"Fine," Kyouya declares. "Just this once."

"...What?" Mukuro asks in confusion, certainly not expecting Kyouya to crawl on top of him, nor for him to take his mouth with such aggressive force and passion. "Kyo-mmmmph~!"

"I think... I love you."

Kyouya says nothing for a long moment, still basking in the afterglow of their…affection and then nods. "You're...not too bad," he admits.

"That's not quite the proper response, but you're getting there. At least you didn't make a disgusted expression like last time."

Mukuro, still naked, pulls Kyouya closer to him. Kyouya hesitates before settling in beside the other.

"You're not good at this cuddling thing," Mukuro teases.

Kyouya glares until he realises he has a whole new way of making Mukuro shut the fuck up. He rolls on top of the other and their mouths fit together perfectly.

Yeah, Kyouya thinks as he is once again overtaken by the desire for that white-hot pleasure. Could be worse.

Kyouya feels a prickly sensation on his head, something like… a small lock of hair being tugged at. He turns and finds Mukuro standing far too close.

Mukuro is staring back at him, and Kyouya can feel the other man's breath tickling his nose. In one hand, Mukuro holds a small ziplock bag, and the other is gently shoving several hairs into it. Mukuro closes the bag and tucks it away before smiling at Kyouya.

They spend a long moment staring at each other.

"Was that-" Kyouya stops, unsure if it was an illusion or not. Perhaps the man is just messing with him. "Did you just… why?"

"I wanted a momento to remember you by," Mukuro admits, expression mockingly soft as if it was anything close to a romantic moment. "Everytime I feel lonely, I'll touch it and think of you."

Kyouya blinks. "I'm honestly not sure why I haven't killed you yet."

"Me neither," Mukuro chuckles with a 'kufufufu' and spins on his heel to get a head start.

Kyouya grabs the man's long hair and with a flick of his wrist he calls out the razors along his tonfa. "To remember you by," he grits out before swinging down.

Mukuro disperses into Mist.

When he reappears, Mukuro is by the door with his back to Kyouya. For a moment he hesitates, reminding Kyouya of their first meeting at the Vongola Mansion all those months ago.

"I'm leaving," Mukuro says quietly, the ever-present snark absent from his tone. He lifts his hand, and Kyouya notices the Vongola Mist ring missing from his finger.

Kyouya remains silent, unsure of what to say. It shouldn't matter to him that Mukuro wants to leave the Vongola, since it's not within his nature to be kept as some kind of pet. But Kyouya thinks about Fon and Reborn, and the inexplicable warmth that sparks in his chest.

Before he knows it, he has bridged the gap between them and grabbed the other man's wrist.

"Don't worry," Mukuro says, flickering a glance back at Kyouya in a condescending way. "I'll keep contact. Stop blocking me on your phone and we'll be good."

"You'll send me pictures of your penis," Kyouya deadpans in annoyance.

Mukuro smirks. "To keep our passionate flame burning."

"I'll bite you to death-"

Mukuro pauses and gazes at Kyouya with an emotion the Cloud can't identify. Then he smiles -not smirks, not grins with too much teeth, just smiles- and steps close. "This isn't forever."

Kyouya holds his gaze and then moves back to his office desk, taking a seat and continuing his paperwork as if no one is in the room with him. Mukuro takes slow but steady paces to the door and finally leaves.

Tsuna appears at the threshold, looking over his shoulder at Mukuro's tense figure, and then quietly enters the room. Tsuna purses his lips, unsure of how to say it. "Mukuro will be back," he reassures Kyouya.

Kyouya reaches up to touch the part of his head where Mukuro had stolen his hair.

"God, I hope not," he mutters.

Final Authors' Notes:

Ourliazo: Please don't imitate anything you read here. The stunts were performed by professional mafiosi and Mukuro is just disturbed; not a good role model whatsoever. Fon and Reborn are also barely functional adults.

Tsuna is the most well adjusted and he willingly associates with these people. That should tell you something.

Mirufey: Also, always use protection, kids. Especially when you don't have Sun Flames to heal STIs. Even if you have Sun Flames, who knows if it'll even be effective.

On that note, this 9-chapter madness is finally complete! Thank you for sticking with us, and we hope to see you again~