Hey guys! I had some time to write so why not update twice this week?! Lol. This chapter is more a flashback chapter. I hope you enjoy! X

Erin makes her way out of the club. She is pissed. 'What is he thinking? What right does he have?'. Nate had just informed her about a guy named Jon who came to look for her. Light brown hair, tall with green eyes. "Looked like a lost puppy with his freckles." Nate had said. 'Really Jay? Jon? That's so original.'

She makes her way around the corner where it's more quiet. Hoping that he still has the same number, she takes out her phone.

She presses the buttons like she used to years ago, the number still memorised like a song you remember all the lyrics to without listening to it for years. She was actually surprised that she remembered it.

It took a while for him to pick up the phone.

He coughs before speaking up "This is Halstead."

Her heart is suddenly racing, her hands are shaking. Erin expected to be nervous at the sound of his voice; Her body suddenly reacting this way to his voice, she didn't expect.

She takes a steadying breath and starts speaking. "You mean Jon?" She says sarcastically. She tries to keep her voice without much emotion, but some anger seems through.

"What?" He asks. He tries to keep his emotions in check as much as he can, but it's harder than he thought, considering he's now drunk.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. If you're planing on saving me or something like that romantic shit in the movies then save it. I needed you three years ago, not now." Her voice rises and she gets angrier with each word that leaves her mouth. "You think you can just show up, play the hero and then leave me again!? No thanks. I don't need you! And I don't need a pity party or some sort of redemption, so just stay away like you have the past 3 years." Her eyes are glazed with tears by now and she is glad that he can't see her because she knows her face would betray the angry emotions in her voice. 'Thank god'.

"Erin that-"

"Oh please, don't start some sort of speech now. I don't want your help! And I don't need it!"

He's immediately thrown back in time at those words.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Erin asks as they arrive at his apartment.

He hands her a beer and they sit on his couch.

"I Uh...I'm" He starts, having trouble to find the right words.

"What?" She laughs but it doesn't reach her eyes. Her eyes are bloodshot and have dark circles underneath them. She looks tired, as if she hasn't slept in days, which is true. Her hair up in the same bun it's been in for weeks.

"I'm worried about you, Erin" He finally says. Erin pulls her eyebrows together in confusion, signalling him to continue.

"You're late to work, every day, or you don't mind showing up at all. You look sad and tired, constantly. You're hanging out with your mom again and you're drinking at Molly's until you can't even stand straight."

Erin stares at him. She doesn't say a word.

"I had to bring you home 3 times last week. And I'm not even sure you remember." He says sadly.

"I know you lost your best friend and I know that you're still grieving, but it's been 3 months now, Er. You have to start living again." Jay looks at her with sad and understanding eyes. It hurts him to see her like this. Even if they're not dating at the moment, he still cares for her. She finally finds her voice again, even though it's just a whisper.

"So that's what all of you want me to do? Be sad for a week and just move on with my life?" She feels betrayed. He of all people should understand. Knowing how much it hurts losing a friend, given his military past.

"No Erin that is not what I'm saying-" He reaches forward to take her hand but she moves backwards, like a scared child. It immediately breaks his heart. She gets up from the couch looking around the room for an escape, her eyes sad and filled with tears.

"Erin don't leave, please. I'm just trying to help you." He pleads.

He takes one step towards to her again but she moves two steps back just as fast.

"Don't you get it? I don't need your help, Jay! And I don't want it! This?! This is who I am and always was! So please do me a favor and leave me alone!" She yells, tears streaming down her face as she storms out of his apartment.

"What?! Erin wait!" He tries to stop her, reaching out for her arm but she is too fast.

It's pouring rain outside and they're both running with nothing but socks on. Jay finally catches up and manages to grab her. Erin tries to get out of his grip, to push him away, punching against his chest while he holds her as tight as he can, making it impossible for her to run. She is full of anger and trying to push him away as hard as she can.

"Let go of me, Jay!" She cries out. But Jay keeps holding on to her, forcing her to stop fighting for once. His heart aches at the though that she doesn't wants to be here with him. "I won't let go of you, Erin. Not tonight." He says calmly.

They're both soaking wet when Erin finally stops fighting him. Her screams turned into loud sobs. She had used all the strength she had left after being awake for almost 3 days straight.

She cries into his chest as the rain keeps pouring down on them, Jay still holding her tight.

When her sobs turned into a weak and soft breathing, he picks her up and carries her upstairs into his apartment.

He hands her some of his PJs she used to wear when they were dating and makes his way into the kitchen to make 2 cups of tea. He doesn't know what to do or say but he knows for sure, that he is not leaving her side tonight.

When Jay gets back into his bedroom he finds her asleep in his bed, breathing heavily after the exhausting days she's had. He smiles sadly and makes his way over to lay down next to her. Erin immediately cuddles into him when he puts his arm around her. At least tonight, he knows she's safe.

He blinks away some tears at the memory.

"Erin, that wasn't me." He says, trying to sound calm and unbothered by her speech.

"What?" She hates herself for sounding so surprised.

"That wasn't me" he repeats.

"I don't know why that would be any of my business." He shrugs trying to sound convincing. "We went our separate ways three years ago and haven't heard from each other since. I don't know why you think I care so much about what you're doing."

Erin suddenly feels like a bus just ran her over. She never thought that anything could hurt her so bad, but it did. And by the sound of his voice, she was sure that he couldn't care less about her and her little 'fucked up' life. That was exactly what she wanted, so why did it hurt so much?

"Well … my bad I guess." She replies softly. "Goodbye Jay." She says, hanging up immediately.

A loud sob escapes her mouth as she drops down on the floor. Crying over the man she loved more than anything else, and still does. The man that once was hers.

I hope you liked this chapter and maybe leave a little review, I'd really appreciate it. I really love writing flashbacks into the chapters! Let me know if you like reading them too so I can keep them coming. This chapter was a lot of flashback but I thought it was an important scene. Let me know in the reviews, cuties!

Thanks you!

Thanks M, as always.