Harry's Universe (Part II)

25th of August 2008, 14:30 local time

Hadrian sat with a contented sigh on a dainty, overly decorated armchair he did not appropriate from the Palace of Versailles, in the lounge of Trax Manor. It had been fifteen years since he came to this universe he now calls his own. Fifteen years since he started to correct or compensate for mistakes made by the previous caretaker. Finally, phase one was complete.

Hadrian sat up with another sigh, grumbling about incompetent beings, before summoning his desk from Death's realm. The victorian style, mahogany writing desk materialized out of a black vortex, existing as pure, smoking shadows. He sorted through the papers and scrolls on his desk before dumping those pertaining to phase one in a large cardboard box, which disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

He filled out some forms before sighing again as he read through the files regarding phase two. For those not in the know, phase one was the solution to all problems involving the wizarding world. Phase two, as Hadrian discovers (which isn't really a discovery as he wrote the different phase plans himself), involves the current local group of galaxies, the history and the ideal future of each. Hadrian sighs one last time, this was going to take a whole lot longer than planned.

'Well,' he thinks to himself, 'At least it won't be boring.'

Thor, Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet, stared at the display before him. Unblinking black eyes narrowed at the unknown signal his ship was detecting approaching the Ida Galaxy. If it was a ship, the technology within must rival the Ancients as the vessels hyperspace speed exceeds all current and theoretical Asgard designs. Thor dares to think that if the alien vessel wished, it would have been able to approach Ida without being detected. Muttering a few choice words under his breath in his native tongue, Thor plots a course to intercept. He hopes to arrive before the replicators take an interest in the vessel.

Hadrian, after much deliberation, decided on a name for his ship. He decided to call it the Thanatos, the greek name for Death. He had earned a very light, almost unnoticeable blush from Death when he had informed him of the fact. Hadrian was currently enroute to the Ida Galaxy, home to the Asgard, one of the Four Great Races. The Thanatos shot from hyperspace back into real space at the edge of the Ida Galaxy. He came to a full stop and waited. The Asgard were known for being punctual and low and behold, not a minute too soon, a massive hyperspace window opened a few hundred metres in front of the Thanatos. The asgard mothership that exited that hyperspace window caused both of Hadrian's eyebrows to raise. It was definitely a new take on the old Bilskirnir, the shiny white and light grey hull, stark against the starfield, a complete opposite to the matte grey and black hulls used previously. Scans showed that the asgard ship was a little more heavily armed then iterations from other universes. Of course, if you knew the history of the Asgard in this universe, you would understand why.

The Thanatos was dwarfed by the fourteen hundred metre long vessel, as it came alongside. Hadrian jumped into action as a hail came through. The image of the asgard that appeared gave Hadrian a momentary pause, the individual certainly looked a whole lot healthier than asgard from other universes.

"I am Thor, Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet. Unknown vessel, you have entered Asgard space. Identify yourself, respond please."

Hadrian noticed that Thor spoke in asgard and so chose to respond in ancient, just to see the look on Thor's face.

"I am Darth Hadrian Trax, of Midgard, Caretaker."

That got the reaction Hadrian wanted. Both of Thor's eyes widened comically. Before Thor could make any kind of response though, a klaxon began blaring on Thor's ship. The asgards eyes narrowed to slits and he cut communication. His ship performed a maneuver which should have been impossible for a ship of that size, and spun to face a newly forming hyperspace window. Two old Bilskirnir class motherships emerged from hyperspace, moving in to an attack formation. The ships were swarming with replicators according to Hadrian's scans.

Thor didn't even wait, his ship began firing off pulses of powerful ion weapons which hammered the replicator's shields. The battle was one sided though, as the replicator's shots weakened Thor's shields faster than Thor could their own. Hadrian decided it was time to intervene. The Thanatos, moving at a speed that should have been impossible, began firing.

Orange phaser beams streaked from multiple points on the Thanatos's hull, strafing the shields of the replicator infested ships. The shields didn't last long, collapsing within minutes. Just to mess with Thor, Hadrian decided to finish off the replicators with Ancient drone weapons. The golden drone weapons streamed from the drone bay of the Thanatos, splitting off into two swarms that headed towards both replicator ships, impacting the hulls at multiple points, tearing the vessels apart. The whole engagement lasted the grand total of five minutes. Hadrian sat back with a sigh, wiping non existing sweat from his brow.

'Now to hail Thor.'

The hologram of the asgard appeared again, this time with a hint of respect and suspicion in those black orbs.

"Well met Thor. Perhaps a meeting with your people's high council is in order hmm.."

Thor blinked once before cutting the communication short, locking the Thanatos in a tractor beam and shooting off into hyperspace towards the asgard homeworld.

When Hadrian awoke his first thought was 'Ow, my head', shortly followed by his second thought 'The Asgard certainly know how to brew their alcohol'. His third thought was 'Who is that behind me and who is in front of me'. His fourth thought was 'Why am I naked!'

Hadrian sat bolt upright, the room a spinning blur from his point of view. He quickly set his magic to work of the surprisingly potent hangover, a result of the equally potent asgardian alcohol. He soon realized he was within a mass of naked bodies. He was sandwiched between a human male and female, both looking around the same age as Hadrian's body, the woman was cuddled up to his chest, while the man had his arm draped over Hadrian's waist. Hadrian didn't need the aches in various parts of his body to tell him what the previous nights activities consisted of.

He carefully removed himself from the sleeping duo, carefully stepping over other individuals in the mass of bodies. Some were asgard, some human, some looked to be of the nox and few were as of yet unidentified races.

'Huh, I think that is one more item off my bucket list'

Hadrian chuckled lightly as his senses came back to him, his magic clearing away the hangover. He used said magic to cleanse his body of dried sweat and other unidentifiable fluids with a mild shudder, before he conjured clothing for himself. Once dressed, he observed the room, trying his damnedest to remember why he was partying last night.

He gave a shark like grin when he remembered why, he had helped the Asgard defeat the replicators and solve their cloning problem. Hadrian blushed slightly as he remembered how enthusiastic the Asgard were at regaining the ability to copulate again.

'Who knew the Asgard used to be so well endowed?'

Apparently Ba'al was the Supreme System Lord. Okay. Hadrian, now going by Harry again, decided on a course of action. He would terrorize the Goa'uld…...with pranks. Very soon, the Jaffa feared him, refusing to serve the Goa'uld any longer. Your trusty staff weapon being turned into a vibrantly coloured phallic shaped object would do that to anyone after a while. Said object getting a little too familiar was just harmless fun. What? It was.

The goa'uld had no idea how to react to the reign of terror. All organisation collapsed within a month. System lord meetings could no longer be held in person as helium somehow found itself mixed into the room. No self respecting false god shall have a squeaky voice. The goa'uld soon offed themselves with all the shenanigans going on. Being targets of some rather painful pranks was not a reason for that outcome, no sir.

Soon the Free Jaffa Nation had arisen, with all jaffa having a fearful reverence for phallic shaped objects. Apparently seeing your god and his first prime being publicly spanked for being very naughty by said objects would do that to you. Especially if said objects talked.

The Goa'uld empire had fallen and the Asgard had expanded into the galaxy, making contact with the Nox to re-establish the alliance.

Harry considered that a job well done, for now at least.

"You had fun?" Death asked looking up from his paperwork.

"Yep. It is stable for the moment with no indication of it suddenly popping out of existence," Harry answered from his place sprawled across a couch in Death's office.

"So what are you up to now?"

"Hmmm," Harry looked up at death from where he was fiddling with a small knick knack, he shook his shoulders, "I don't know. Did you have an idea?"

Harry smiled devilishly at Death, earning a raised eyebrow a slowly growing smirk.

Authors Note:

Well, here is a little something humorous anyway. For those wondering about A God Among Us? fear not it is not dead, just a little writers block. The current chapter is in the works, I'm just unsure of how I want the story to continue, what elements I want coming out. We are at the part of the story that Seshat and Michael's little interference's are having a butterfly affect on events and characters beyond their control. I am aiming to have the next chapter done by September 1st, although that is not a promise, as I am toying with the idea of revising the story as it is and changing things, alas the problems of an author not thinking their work is done or good enough.

Authors Note Addendum:

Can I just take a moment to curse auto-correct. 'Takes a calming breath' Okay then...auto-correct...CRUCIO! How dare you correct something so the sentence doesn't make sense.