In the defense of Lorcan Salvaterre - Do you know?

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Elide ran both hands through her long, uncut hair as she blew an exasperated breath. Her nostrils flared as she sharply opened her eyes. Now he'd screwed up. What was his reasoning? She wanted to know. What tactics and web of lies would he construct this time? Oh, she would not fall for is cunning deceit again. He had his chance. Elide didn't give second chances.

Lorcan screwed up.

Lorcan knocked on her door again. He came in the morning, then at midday and he would try again and again until she opened that damn door.

Or he could knock it down.

Out of instinct, the door came crashing down.

"Elide Lochan, I demand-"

"What in the name of Annieth? I'm changing!" Elide screamed as she scrounged for a blanket.

Lorcan's cheeks reddened. This is why you don't break down random doors, spoke a little voice in his head.

"You've been ignoring me for 5 days Elide."

"4 really, not counting how you barged and destroyed my door." Elide's brows scrunched.

"Well, I did knock. Several times actually."

"I was in Aedion's room the whole day planning for my queen's rescue. Which you caused!"

"I didn't cause it. Your queen planned the whole thing."

Elide paused, so Lorcan continued, "Maeve made several threats to torture you far worse than anything your uncle could do."

Elide froze, sparing a second of her time on this fool. Lorcan could burn in hell. She would not fall for his lies, "Aelin is the queen of Terrasen. In charge of millions of people. She has a mate, a court that loves her. She's brilliant and spectacular and she has a whole world to rebuild. I would've gladly gone in her place."

Lorcan straightened, "I knew you would. That's why I had to stop you."

Elide's brows scrunched, "Why?"

"I couldn't have just stood there and watched you get torn to shreds."

"Didn't you feel anything? Anything at all for the bloodied woman before you? No - no you didn't because you don't feel anything."

"I did. For the first time in centuries, I wept. Did you know that I wish I was the one whipped? Do you know the lengths I would go to get your queen back?"

Elide froze, in a whisper she spoke, "I could've saved her. Why didn't you let me go?"

Lorcan gazed to the floor, "You couldn't have saved her. I know Maeve, I know that she would've hurt you even more than she would've hurt Aelin. If only to make your queen feel heartbreak. I am in trouble with your queen. But I know that if she saw me let you go, I wouldn't stand a chance of forgiveness. Your queen is strong, she can handle whippings and interrogations, but one thing she will never waver in is her faith in her court. She will never waver in protecting her family."

Now Elide looked away, "I don't deserve her protection."

Lorcan's head snapped up, "If not her protection, then let me offer you mine. Do you know that the most painful thing I've ever watched in all my years was seeing your face break? Was seeing your crumble with sadness for your queen, desperation to save her, and hate for me? Do you know that when Maeve broke the bond, the will that forced my heart and soul to care for her, that will, my heart and soul, everything I am, it wanted to run to you? I know I'll burn in hell. I know I'll die alone. I'm not even asking for forgiveness, I'm just asking for you to see things from my view."

Elide avoided the question, "Why do they all hate you? You're a good man, with a horrible and difficult life. Why do they hate you Lorcan Salvaterre? Why do they all wish the worst for you?"

"Sometimes Elide, we are faced with choices. I'm just constantly faced with bad choices. I pick one, people are going to hate me no matter what I choose. Why do you think Rowan doesn't blame me? Rowan doesn't blame me because he knows that is what Aelin would've wanted. Aelin made her choices. Don't mistake this for me not caring for Aelin. I do care for her. Did you know I was whipped for weeks for rushing to the queen of Terrasen aid? I knew well who she was, I knew well for what she could do. Aelin was going to get captured either way. I just had to choose who I wanted to protect from Maeve's wrath. I chose you. I still choose you. I will always choose you."

Elide's breath caught, but Lorcan continued, "I know I'm not the best at this emotional stuff, I still know it, but so are you. I'm learning and so are you. Rowan fell in love with Lyria. I've never… I've never cared for anyone. I've served Maeve as a youngling because it's all I've ever known. You serve Aelin because that's how you were raised. I just got the bad end."

Elide finally, "Do you know that I think you're a good man? Yes, my queen is captured and yes I do not know where she is. But I do know that there is no one better to help find her than you, if I didn't you wouldn't be on this ship. Us five can and will find Aelin. We'll do it together. I'll understand your flaws and your mistakes if you understand mine. Yes, I will love my queen but that is no reason to not care for someone else. I've never trusted anyone but my queen. Mistakes happen, just as Aelin didn't tell Rowan about her plans. I may feel easily betrayed, but it doesn't mean I don't have faith in you. I do have faith in you. Did you know that?"

Lorcan stared right back at her, "I may come off as emotionless and heartless, but never mistake it for lack of emotion and without feelings. I will struggle with myself. I will struggle with many obstacles. But I can say that if you hold an even a single drop of care in that fragile and precious heart of yours, I will never hold a single breath of hesitation to help you and your kingdom. Because I know that for once, for once someone cares."

Elide's eyes glistened, "I don't blame you. No one should blame you. Not entirely at least. You were just another pawn in Aelin's scheme. You did what Aelin would've wanted. You didn't call Maeve. Aelin did. You didn't whip her. Maeve did. You didn't disgrace my court. Maeve did. Instead of hating you, I will hate Maeve. But my heart doesn't hold a drop of care for you."

Lorcan stilled.

"It holds an ocean," a tear slid down her pale skin, "And thus, my queen should know that her court is one step closer to changing the world."

Lorcan's eyes filled with tears as he whispered softly, "Thank you."

Elide playfully teased, "Did Lorcan Salvaterre just say 'thank you'?"

"I guess he did," and for the first time in all his years, he smiled. A smile like a sun's first warm rays piercing the troubles of a harsh storm.

Elide's eyes widened as she dropped the blanket she'd been holding the whole time.

Lorcan just kept smiling as he swept his gaze over her bare self, "I suggest you put some clothes on, after all, the door is destroyed," He looked straight into her eyes with that brilliant smile of his, "Let's destroy Maeve. Let's destroy the pain."

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