Most of this episode takes place in London, so here's a brief glossary of landmarks for those who have never visited. I tried to only use famous landmarks in the hope that you'd know at least some of them!

Tower of London - The square castle-like building with turrets. Famous as a prison and execution ground for people like Queen Anne Boleyn and Lady Jane Grey. Now it houses the Crown Jewels. Guarded by "Beefeaters" in funny costumes and famous for the ravens that roam through the grounds. Legend goes that if the ravens leave the tower, then it will collapse.

Tower Bridge - The fancy one with the turrets and cables.

The Globe Theatre - reconstruction of Shakespeare's globe theatre. Large Tudor-style building.

Wobbly Bridge - Officially named the "Millennium Bridge" built to mark the millennium. Unfortunately they had to close it because it wobbled! Yes - I know they've fixed it now, but for me it will always be the Wobbly bridge!!

Big Ben - Come on, you must know this!! It's the clock tower on top of the houses of parliament. Actually, to be accurate it's the bell inside that is called Big Ben, the clock tower is just a normal tower, but not many people know that!!

Millennium Eye - Huge Ferris wheel which is supposed to give amazing views from the top. I don't know, I've never wanted to pay that much money to ride in it - I still think it looks out of place next to the beautiful old buildings. There was something technical wrong with that when it opened as well - Britain didn't do very well when it came to celebrating the Millennium!

Buckingham Palace - One of the Queen's palaces. Famous for its guards in smart uniform. Apparently they won't react if you pull faces at them or poke them. But I'm not going to risk it!

Trafalgar Square - Large square with statues, fountains and loads of pigeons. Actually - last time I went there, I hardly saw any pigeons. Perhaps some local restaurant is serving "Famous Trafalgar Pigeon Pie!"

Tube - London Underground system.

Hope that helps!

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London

Liz clutched at Dave whimpering slightly, her eyes still tightly shut. There was no way she was travelling like that again. As she waited for her stomach to catch up with her, she decided that travelling through a vortex made the portal journey seem like fun.

She finally realised that Dave was prodding her, firstly to get her attention, and secondly to try and rescue his arm from her vice-like grip. She opened her eyes cautiously and looked around. They were in an old building, with pale stone walls. It must be the castle at Minas Tirith, Liz eventually decided. The Fellowship were gathered around several glass cases with beautiful crowns and jewellery sparkling inside.

Frodo leaned forward and brought out the ring. He held it up next to the case as if comparing it to the things inside.

"Hey!" a voice called from the corner. "Can't you keep your kids under control?"

The hobbits looked at one another indignantly. Kids?

"What's that in your hand? Where did you get it?" The man stepped out towards them, he was dressed in a strange red uniform and tights, wearing a black hat with flowers on it. Liz would have burst out laughing at his strange appearance if it wasn't for three things. Firstly, he was carrying a long, sharp pike. Secondly, the uniform looked vaguely familiar. It was niggling away in her memory, she was sure she had seen people wearing it before. Thirdly, there were no guards dressed like that at Minas Tirith. Where else in Middle Earth could there be crowns like these? The thought suddenly struck her. They could be jewels that Sauron had stolen. That would mean that they were in Mordor, this man could be one of the Easterlings. Some human working for Sauron, anyway.

Liz jerked the comlink to her mouth

"Sarita, get us out of here?" she cried. There was no reply. Just a faint hissing of static. "Sarita, are you there? Get us out now!"

"A conspiracy!" The man cried. He jammed his hand against a button on the wall, and an alarm started up. A piercing wailing that echoed around the room. Blue lights flashed and lit up the perplexed faces of the Fellowship.

Gimli gave a cry and swung his axe at the man. Liz covered her eyes in horror, not wanting to witness the beheading. Fortunately, the axe hit with the blunt side. The man slumped unconscious to the floor, his pike clattered to the ground next to him.

The pounding of running feet could be heard on the staircase. Dave helped Aragorn close the great wooden door and jam the pike through the wooden frets. They gathered facing the door. Swords drawn, arrows strung, daggers gripped firmly, axe swinging and a stun weapon turned to full power.

Liz gazed around for a weapon of her own, she quickly groped for the memory eraser.

The pounding footsteps reached the door. Liz's hands were sweaty, she managed to drop the eraser and it rolled under the glass cabinet, next to the unconscious body of the guard. She ducked down and grovelled for it... and spotted something that made her blood run cold...

The footsteps reached the door, and a heavy fist pounded on the wooden panels.

"Open in the name of Her Majesty!" a voice cried. Dave frowned in puzzlement. 'Her Majesty?' There was no queen in Middle Earth at the moment - not as far as he knew. Where were they?

"Dave!" Liz cried out in horror, scooping up the loose change she'd spotted spilling out of the unconscious man's pocket. "British currency!" she gazed around the building and back to the guard.

"This must be the Tower of London!" she continued in dismay "We've knocked out a Beefeater. They think we want to steal the crown jewels!"

The piercing wailing of the alarm continued as the Beefeaters broke down the door. They let out a battle cry and raced towards them, pikes lowered, the spikes looking very sharp.

Tearing the Fellowship away from the battle was extremely difficult. The memory eraser was strained to the limit as Dave ducked in and out of the battle, trying to avoid anyone getting killed. At last they managed to force them out of the door and tumble down the staircase, knocking tourists flying. Liz and Dave halted for a moment to survey the damage. Most of the Beefeaters were standing around blinking in puzzlement.

One of them turned to Dave and asked what had happened.

"Nothing much!" Dave grinned. He pointed to the unconscious Beefeater who was just coming round. "He got a little enthusiastic and set off the alarm. Scared the poor tourists to death."

The Beefeaters looked a little ashamed. One inserted a key in the alarm, and a blissful silence reined.

"Come on." Dave guided Liz out of the room. "We need to catch up with Fellowship and take them back to Base before they cause any more damage.

They hurried out of the Tower and looked around. To their horror, they realised the Fellowship had split up. The Hobbits and Gandalf were sitting happily in the Thames River Trip boat, just pulling away from the jetty towards Westminster. Aragorn, Gimli, Boromir and Legolas could just be seen halfway across Tower Bridge.

"We'll have to split up too." Dave urged quickly. "Meet you back at Base, don't lose any of them!" He ran down towards the jetty. Liz sighed and hurried towards Tower Bridge. It didn't take long for her to realise why the marathon runners universally hate that stretch of the track. The cobbles were a nightmare to run on!

Dave tried to push past the tourists to get to the front of the Thames River Trip boats. Unfortunately, the little old ladies waiting for their ride didn't know the meaning of the word "emergency." They also had extremely sharp elbows. Dave soon realised that this was futile, and hobbled out of the queue. He didn't have that much time. The River Trip boat with the hobbits on was edging out of sight.

Suddenly a roar on the water caught his attention. A jet boat skidded and danced across the water, the shower of spray just missing the waiting tourists. An idea flashed into his mind as the jet boat came to a halt and started to moor up on the banks of the river. Who said watching James Bond was a waste of time?

Liz panted across Tower Bridge, hoping to lose herself amongst the streams of people. The odd determined Beefeater was still trailing after her. Luckily they were stopped every few minutes by tourists wanting to take photographs. The gap between them was widening dramatically.

Suddenly she noticed that the Fellowship had stopped running, they seemed to be talking to someone. Liz's heart sank when she realised that they were talking to a policeman. He was tall, wearing smart dark uniform and a dome hat, the silver polished brightly, the strap digging into his chin. His face was grave and stern, Liz approached carefully and listened to the conversation. Her heart sank even further when she realised the Fellowship were getting into trouble for carrying dangerous weapons. To her horror, she watched Aragorn and Boromir draw their swords and threaten the policeman, Legolas fitted an arrow to his bow, and Gimli raised his axe. The tourists standing nearby started to scream. Others quickly gathered around to watch the excitement, cameras ready. The policeman started to look scared. He glanced nervously behind him, and quickly radioed for backup.

Liz pushed her way through the tourist ring and stood between the Fellowship and the policeman. She placed her hands on her hips and glared up at them

"Put those things away at once!" she ordered sternly. The Fellowship looked at one another uneasily, then re-sheaved their weapons. The tourists started applauding and camera bulbs started flashing at the young girl who had bravely defeated the dangerous terrorists. The fellowship jumped at the bright camera flashes and pushed their way through the crowd, running quickly out of sight. Liz whipped out her memory eraser and quickly made her way around the ring, erasing all the tourists memories. There was nothing she could do about the photograph films, she needed to catch up with the Fellowship, and quickly. She hesitated for a second when she came to the policeman. She decided there was no other option and erased his memory as well. She hoped that the organisation would get her out of any trouble. After all, erasing the memory of a policeman is probably a serious crime.

Liz pushed her way through the blinking crowd and searched for the Fellowship. They were nowhere in sight, she gazed along the street moodily. So much for not losing them. However, she soon realised that tracking them would not be as difficult as she had thought. It was a beautiful summer's day, and the city was swarming with tourists to ask directions. Two men, an elf and a dwarf running through the streets in medieval style costume was unusual enough for even Londoners to notice and mention.

Dave ran over to the jet boat and vaulted over the edge.

"Hey! What are you doing?" The jet boat owner called angrily. Dave pulled out his ID and flashed it quickly. What could he say? The jet boat owner was still looking suspicious.

"...MI5...follow that boat!" Dave cried at last, pointing at the disappearing River Trip boat. Perhaps this was taking the whole James Bond thing a bit too far, but the owner was more likely to believe that than the truth. In fact his face lit up

"Really?" he asked, dragging the mooring rope back in and racing for the wheel.

"I've always wanted to do that!"

The jet boat bounced across the waves as it sped down the river.

"You do realise that this is probably totally illegal!" the jet boat owner yelled over the noise of the engine.

"Don't worry, my organisation will make it legal" Dave yelled back, the wind ruffling his hair, the spray splashing over his face. He couldn't believe how easy it had been to persuade the man to take him down river. He had visualised using the memory eraser, and struggling with the controls himself, but that hadn't been necessary. If only catching the hobbits would be that easy!

Liz let out a sigh of relief when she finally saw the remnants of the Fellowship in the distance. She ran up to them, panting heavily.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

"What is that building?" Aragorn asked pointing at the Globe theatre. "It reminds me of home."

"Speaking of home" Liz interrupted. "Wouldn't you rather go back now?" The remnants of the Fellowship looked at each other as they puzzled this over. Liz smiled in triumph and started to herd them towards the nearest tube station. Suddenly she stopped and froze in fear. Coming towards them was a coach, heading towards the Globe carpark. It was the words stuck onto the windscreen that made Liz's blood turn to ice. Not now..not here! She glanced at Legolas in horror. He didn't seem to notice the danger.

"Fly! Hide!" she screamed, herding them away from the coach. "This is a foe beyond any of you!"

Liz looked around desperately. There was no obvious shelter, no protection. In despair, she opened one of the back doors to the theatre and hauled the Fellowship inside. The coach sped past to join the others in the carpark. The innocent sounding words on the placard didn't convey the true horror of what lay within.

"Darlington Park - Girls School"

Dave thanked the jet boat owner and tore up the jetty, pushing tourists out of the way. Where were the hobbits? Big Ben was chiming the hour, ignored by most people. Dave sped around in circles, his eyes searching every direction. Where could they be? Suddenly, something prompted him to look up. He noticed one of the capsules on the Millennium Eye rocking slightly. Inside, Gandalf and Frodo were running from side to side, gazing out across the city. Sam could just be seen, a rigid bundle sitting as far away from the glass panels as possible, his eyes tightly closed.

Dave managed to push his way through to the operator. He pointed up at the rocking capsule.

"Those people are nutters!" the operator volunteered. "They rush on without paying, then when I try to challenge them, they pull out dangerous weapons."

"Were there any more of them?" Dave panted.

"Yeah, two kids, went running off towards Buckingham Palace" Dave groaned and looked down the long road. This was a total nightmare. Why couldn't they stick together.

"Is it possible to keep the capsules locked when they come down?" Dave asked.

"I suppose so" the operator answered, a bit puzzled.

"Can you keep them going round until I come back" Dave asked "Only I'm supposed to round them up, and I've got to collect the other two."

"Can't do that" the man replied. "Other people are paying to have a go."

"Not even if I give you this?" Dave drew 5 crisp tenners out of his pocket. The man's eyes gleamed.

"No problem, Mate" he said. "I'll keep them there all day if you want." Dave hoped the organisation wouldn't mind paying for the trouble this caused. A few minutes later he was on the run again. Next stop, Buckingham Palace.

"Why are we stuck in here?" Gimli complained. It was pitch black, and they were all crammed into a space the size of a cupboard.

"We're hiding from the people on that coach." Liz explained.

"Why? We should stand and fight, not run away" Aragorn complained.

"You don't understand. That coach is full of pupils from Darlington Park Girls School."

"...and?" Boromir sounded unimpressed.

"...I used to go to Darlington Park Girls School. Believe me, we're safer in here" Liz finished. She knew exactly what would happen to the reasonably well behaved class if they saw the Fellowship. They would suddenly transform into 50 desperate Mary-Sues. There was nothing she could do against such uneven numbers. They would have to wait until the coast was clear and get back to Base quickly.

"I've found a way out" Legolas said suddenly as he felt the bottom of a ladder. Before Liz could stop him, he had climbed out of reach, closely followed by Aragorn. Liz fought Boromir to be the next person to climb up and emerged backstage. A lone voice could be heard from an actor on the stage itself.

"A plague a both your houses! They have made worms' meat of me...."

Sounded like Mercutio was dying. Liz frantically searched behind the screens and piles of props. Where were Legolas and Aragorn? They couldn't have disappeared already.

Liz peered cautiously out onto the stage. The two actors were circling each other, their swords drawn. There was no sign of the Fellowship.

"Thou wretched boy" Tybalt sneered. "...shalt with him hence!"

The audience of school kids looked as if they would rather be anywhere than here.

Romeo flew at Tybalt and they fought their way across the stage. Liz was unimpressed. Once you'd seen the real thing at the battle of Helms Deep, stage fighting no longer impressed.

"...Hey! What's going on?"

That wasn't Shakespeare's language. Liz looked back out on stage. To her horror, she saw Aragorn storming out towards the actors, his sword drawn. Romeo had halted from dealing Tybalt's death blow and was staring at the angry figure striding towards him.

"Leave him alone!" Aragorn bellowed, hauling the actor playing Tybalt to his feet. He faced Romeo angrily. "Pick on someone your own size." With two powerful strokes, he had broken the flimsy stage sword in two. The audience were sitting up and looking more interested. Some of the teachers were frantically thumbing through their tattered copies of "Romeo and Juliet." Wasn't Tybalt supposed to die?

Liz bundled Boromir and Gimli back down the ladder, then hurried across to get Aragorn back. The actor playing Romeo looked terrified, he knew this was not a carefully choreographed stagefight. He turned and fled, almost howling in fear. Juliet stormed on stage, hands on her hips.

"What's going on?" she asked. Romeo hid behind her and pointed a shaking hand at Aragorn who was storming across the stage towards them, brandishing his sword. By now, the audience was in hysterics. This was much better than studying Shakespeare in class.

Liz grabbed hold of Aragorn, erased his memory and tried to force him back towards the ladder whilst he was still blinking. Everything was still just about under control, they might still manage to escape unharmed. When without warning, Legolas stepped out onto the stage.

There was a huge intake of breath from the audience. Hundreds of desperate schoolgirls saw him, and the transformation started to take place.

"Run!!" Liz screamed for the second time in the last half hour. She forced Aragorn and Legolas down the ladder and out of the door. They pelted across the wobbly bridge over the Thames, the Mary-Sues streaming out of the Globe like an ants nest behind them. St Pauls Cathedral offered sanctuary if they could get there in time.

This was a race for their lives.

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"Dave! Wait!" Dave turned on the escalator to see Liz hurrying towards him, still trailing the other four members of the Fellowship. Dave waited with the hobbits at the tube station exit as Liz hurried towards him.

"Still in one piece then?" he joked.

"Just about" she replied as they crossed the road. Base was a tall, grey, imposing building. The hobbits loved the revolving doors at the entrance. It took several rotations to gather them all up again.

Taking the Fellowship up towards the control room took a long time, and attracted a lot of attention. Most workers had never seen any sign of Middle Earth. They were fascinated by the Fellowship being fascinated with the lifts. The Hobbits' love of pressing buttons meant that they ended up on practically every floor but the correct one. By this time, Liz was seriously running out of patience.

As the doors to the control room slid open, Liz couldn't help feeling a sense of pride as the workers broke into a round of applause. The Boss was waiting, a smile on his face for the first time in living memory.

"Well done" he congratulated. "We saw the episode with the Buckingham Palace guards and the Trafalgar Square pigeons on the Six O'clock news." He glared at Merry and Pippin who cowered slightly under his piercing gaze.

"Take them back, erase their memories, then we'll shut down" he ordered briskly.

They herded the Fellowship onto the portal platform. Liz entering her ID card for the last time. The transformation was quick and easy. Liz and Dave erased the Fellowship's memories, and watched them blinking as the lights began to glow for the very last time.

As they returned home and stepped off the platform, Liz looked back to see the engineers removing the large crystal from the operating board, taking it away to be permanently stored.

"That's it then" she said sadly. "The end of an era. What do we do now?" Dave gave her another funny look.

"We'll continue with our jobs as normal" he said. Liz looked at him, puzzled.

"What do you mean? The Warden's job is over. No more Mary-Sues remember." Dave smiled.

"You didn't really think that was the end did you?" he laughed. "We're giving the Fellowship a well earned break, but that's not the end of the Mary-Sues, they'll go somewhere else." Light was beginning to dawn in Liz's eyes.

"You mean that closing down the portal to Middle Earth wasn't the end of our job?"

"Course not." Dave laughed. "There's always Star Wars....!"

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Just wanted to say one last "Thank-you" for all your reviews! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Any further comments will always be appreciated. Sooo... Let's have a vote! Which is your 'favourite' Mary-Sue and why? Let's see if there is a general trend here!

As for a sequel... well, I have got a few more ideas tucked away. Let's just say I'll definitely consider it if I get enough requests! So it's up to you really. If you want to read more about Liz, Dave and co.... Then let me know!